Live Your Dreams. Always be yourself.

K. | late 20s | they/them | several shades of queer

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Oh, was könnte zu steigenden Krankenständen geführt haben nach der Pandemie, die Leute sind wohl einfach faul geworden durch das Home Office und äh-

wie war das?

[sawed-on-shotgun]

going on hormones and starting to pass as a man is a mixed bag. obviously that is The Goal. but like

pros: yay! i finally look like a guy! people think im a man!

cons: im only noticing that people perceive me as male because of misogyny 90% of the time

[sawed-on-shotgun]

it's shit i didn't even register before transitioning too. i went out with my friends to a diner yesterday, one is a girl and the other gets clocked as a girl, and when we went in and they asked for the name of the table they asked Me specifically. like looked dead in my eyes and asked Me. i was addressed when it orders and payment first as well. like. Damn. Okay. Shit

[sawed-on-shotgun]

being trans in any direction gives you this but with like a multiplier effect

[redstonedust]

some people like to get mad at disability benefits because they think its unfair people who dont work get a payout from the government while they have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week. but if you tell them "yeah that sucks i think you should also get a universal allowance and not have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week" thats apparently the wrong answer.

[furryprovocateur]

9/11

[furryprovocateur]

not even joking this is one of the worst possible changes that i could've reasonably conceived of to happen to video games.

[furryprovocateur]

having thought about it this is a generationally anti-consumer announcement that will have a profoundly detrimental impact on consumers and retail markets. this will price out new consumers even more than a $600 PS5 and $80 games will. this will make games less accessible and more nickel-and-dimed. this will make games impossible to share irl without giving your console up, and will stop institutions like libraries from being able to loan copies of modern games. and most importantly, it will be for a minimal profit, as most of the sales in video games are already digital.

this is such a staggeringly catastrophic piece of news that i'm shocked it wasn't said by nintendo. congrats to sony for one-upping them in anti-consumer practices.

[notbomb]

As someone who's favorite movies tend to be absolute box office bombs that gained an audience through home video sales and television syndication, the death of physical media is extremely close to my heart and I greive this loss.

Lost media is truly going to be LOST without the ability of a physical copy popping up in a thrift shop somewhere ten years after it's relevant.

So how do we fight?

Piracy.

As the old adage goes "If buying isn't owning then piracy isn't stealing." Pirate things. Make physical copies of them. Multiple copies. Share them with friends.

Yes this is in fact deeply illegal and can get people in a lot of trouble. Ask me if I care when the consequence is corporations owning everything you can use to entertain yourself and they can censor or destroy things you spent your hard earned money on at their whim.

Be safe, be smart, and:

[lesspopped]

please wear sunscreen!!! I've seen "fuck the beauty industrial complex" posts about complicated skincare regimens and am 100% with them except sometimes they mention sunscreen and no. no. absolutely not. sunscreen is a wonderful supportive friend who wants to keep you safe, and you should let her do it. throw out all your other cosmetics and skincare products if you want, but keep your sunscreen. and if you're not wearing sunscreen, start wearing it!!!! this is not about terror of aging, this is not about every tiny imperfection our fucked-up culture has made you feel insecure about, this is about protecting yourself from skin cancer. wear the damn sunscreen.

[marzipanandminutiae]

my mother had to basically have her upper lip removed and reconstructed during her surgery to get rid of skin cancer. it looks great now, but it was a traumatic process that left her insecure because her lip doesn't look the way she was used to it looking for 71 years

for HER mother, it was a large section of her nose (again, reconstructed, but still)

wear. the. damn. sunscreen.

[hollowedskin]

My grandfather had bum hair growing out of his nose from a skin graft BC of how much flesh they had to take off. He and my uncles also looked like stray tomcats because they were all missing at least the top half of an ear, with various chunks taken out. Pop was missing the top half of both ears. They were all surf lifesavers before they understood the dangers of UV radiation, and weren't wearing hats.

My Dad has an appointment every two weeks to take off the skin cancers on his arms, because they can't get them all at once without leaving him with too much open skin. And they just keep coming in. Because they used to work shirtless in the sun.

And my auntie, who cared deeply about her skin and always wore her sunscreen, still died of melanoma because they didn't see the one on her scalp, under her hair, before it was too late and spread through her whole body.

Skin cancer isn't a joke. Skin cancer will kill you, but it's ALSO one of the most survivable types of cancer if you get treated in time. Spf 50+ sunscreen, hats, UV filtering sunnies, and sleeves, they'll save your life.

[argentconflagration]

when the subject of "why do people believe things that are seriously wrong and harmful" comes up it feels like you kinda hear one of two perspectives:

"oh, that's easy! it's because they're fundamentally Bad people who want to hurt others and choose their beliefs to justify that! :) hope this helps"

or

"they just don't have access to the same information we do. look at this person who was raised in a cult! don't you feel sorry for her?"

and like, yes, fine, some people were in fact raised in cults, but what i wish people would understand is that the bulk of it is just normal human flaws, like:

they want to believe stuff that makes them feel smart and cool and like they've figured everything out (you also do this)

they want to believe stuff that makes them feel like their emotions are justified and grounded in reality, and that the people they want to hurt deserve to be hurt (you also do this)

they form conclusions before they've processed all the relevant information, and cling to that first impression even when new info comes to light (you also do this)

they pick up beliefs from the people around them because they want to be liked and fit in, not because the beliefs are good or true (you also do this)

they come up with reasons that the stuff that benefits them (and the people they like and identify with) is actually overwhelmingly best for everyone and obviously the right thing to do (you also do this)

they pay more attention to stuff that supports what they already believe and avoid looking in places that might show them otherwise (you also do this)

they listen to people who talk like 'one of them' and ignore others (you also do this)

they come up with reasons to dismiss people with conflicting viewpoints as obviously in bad faith or ignorant or a shill or evil (you also do this)

they fail to take their own beliefs seriously sometimes, and take their beliefs way too seriously other times, in a selective way that lets them do the things they already wanted to do (you also do this)

the very ways they construct the ideas of 'knowledge' and 'wisdom' and 'belief' and 'understanding' are biased so that what they don't want to believe comes under lots of scrutiny and what they do want to believe receives less (you also do this)

you, dear reader, are presumably right about everything and were correct to die on every hill you've ever died on, but the difference between you and someone who's wrong about important stuff doesn't look like "well they're inherently evil and i'm not", it probably looks like a combination of:

natural environment (they would have been exposed to different information than you regardless of their choices)

being in the right place at the right time (your particular profile of flaws and virtues happened to be what was needed to lead you to the right conclusions, they had the opposite experience)

random luck (you doubled down on what felt right to believe but wasn't, but it turned out to be inconsequential, or even right for different reasons, while they doubled down on what turned out to be a horrible mistake distorting their entire worldview)

you do less of the things in the previous list, and over time the difference between you and them adds up

and, look, i also do these things. the nicest and most thoughtful people i've ever met do these things. if you meet someone who never does any of these things, i dunno, give them a fucking medal or something.

i know you're doing your best. we're all doing our best.

[chumbology]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

People in the notes being like "these are weaknesses of neurotypical people; my autism means I don't have these flaws": yes you do, and this post is about you specifically. People who believe that they're somehow magically immune to cognitive biases are the ones who tend to fall victim to them the hardest.

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

happy disability pride month to mean cripples, nasty addicts, people with down syndrome who arent nice and talk constant shit, wheelchair users that WILL run you over, autists that dont care and arent about to pretend to, people who lie to their psychiatrists, people that sit on the floor in public places with no benches, amputees that lie profusely about "what happened"; to the "noncompliant", the "drug seeking", the "mean", the "difficult" and the "undeserving", and so on and so forth, i love us all and we deserve the world actually mwah mwah

[richardburbagehateblog]

"All drugs are drugs" = a surprisingly radical position that will upset people right across the political spectrum

This means:

If you draw a hard line between "drug" and "medicine" based on current legality where you live (or any other criteria) you've gone wrong somewhere,

If you think legality and/or prescription status tells you all you need about a substance's capacity to do massive harm to someone's body, mind or well-being you've gone wrong somewhere,

If you think legality and/or prescription status tells you all you need about a substance's capacity to contribute meaningfully to someone's healing, function or happiness you've gone wrong somewhere,

If you think certain substances should be excluded from informed consent (either withheld or forcibly administered) you've gone wrong somewhere.

[unscharf-an-den-raendern]

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

I don't need the chatgpt random algorithm to write emails for me because I already have a custom and 100% flawless algorithm called "writing the exact same three emails with the names changed"

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

#1: "hi [landlord], hope you're doing well! [apartment thing] is [broken/a problem]. we need it [fixed/replaced/handled] by [date]. let us know when you'll send someone over so we can be here to let them in. thanks so much, [op]"

#2: "hi [professor], hope you're doing well! unfortunately, I'm [sick/stuck at work/dead] and won't be able to submit [assignment] by [due date]. could I please have an extension? if not, is there anything else I could do to make up this credit? thanks so much, [op]"

#3: "hi [customer service person], hope you're doing well! unfortunately, [product] [didn't arrive/is broken/wrong color/gave me a rash/poisoned my crops] and I'd like to receive a [refund/replacement]. here is the documentation of the order and photos of [broken thing/wrong thing/my rash/dead crops]. thanks so much, [op]"

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

"but op I work in an office I have to write way more emails than you" well that's your fault for working in an office i got nothing to do with that

[perpetualsarcasmmachine]

Writing an email is so easy and I will tell you how it's done. This is the advice is for everyone with an email job, but you can apply it to normal human interaction.

The FIRST SENTENCE is the thing you want the recipient to do. Do not make them guess.

I want to let you know about ... (This email is to inform someone of something not to ask them to do anything)

Could you please do ... (This is a request. You want them to do something).

I'm looking into x and wondering if you can help me (this is also a request but for information instead of an action).

People do not want to read an email and even if they do read it, most people are skimming and not interested. Tell them what you want first, then provide context or other information (when you need a thing is often key). If the email is informational, you can even add "you don't need to do anything, this is just to keep you informed!" People will appreciate not having to figure out what you want from them.

If you can't articulate what you want the recipient to do with the message, you are not ready to email them. I read too many emails where I have no idea what the person wants from me.

Put the most important thing first and everyone will be impressed! AI cannot do this for you because it can't tell what's important! Only you know that, which is why you must write your own emails.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

to everyone who wants help with emails: go through the notes of this post. there are ideas I've never thought of and plenty of scripts for all kinds of situations/jobs

[tofutomato]

you gotta read, you gotta write, you gotta draw, you gotta watch films and shows. there is literally NO time to be employed

[seashellronan]

guys i’m so sorry to say this but exercising and indulging in hobbies rather than scrolling on your phone for 200 hours actually does improve your mood and overall mental health, this has deeply upset me more than anyone

[feminist-space]

[afusionoffandoms]

Turkey to imprison LGBT advocates, criminalize same-sex ceremonies in new bill: report - Stockholm Center for Freedom

Turkey’s justice ministry is drafting legislation that would imprison people for publicly praising LGBT identity, criminalize same-sex engag

[bisexualantagonist]

EXTRA INFO:

The Bill hasn't passed yet; however it is very likely. Turkey just shut down the social media accounts of LGBT+ organizations, and quietly banned/"made not possible to see" multiple dating apps for LGBT people such as Taimi. These are small steps leading up to this. Just less than a year ago the distribution of Estrogen was made ten times harder and hormone replacement therapy laws upped the transitioning age from 18 to 21. Please speak for us.

[acreaturecalledgreed]

the concept and idea of “you can always start trying to be a better person” is extremely important to me both in media and irl and i continue to be deeply deeply disturbed by the trend on this site pushing that these ideas in media are bad writing or even morally reprehensible

because theyd rather someone stay terrible or just straight up die than become a better person 

from a compassionate point of view it’s deeply distressing and from a pragmatic point of view it’s outright frustrating

it’s fucked up. 

[falliblefabrial]

What is the most important step a man can take?

The next.

[inklesspen]

[babblingfishes]

I think part of the pushback about this is the idea that, to “redeem” bad people, their victims must first forgive them for unforgivable acts.

This is false. No one is obligated to forgive you. You can learn from your mistakes and become the best, kindest person on earth, and the people you’ve hurt still won’t forgive you, and you’ll have to accept that. And that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to grow. Because we aren’t just “pure” or “sinful”, we’re complex.

[mockiatoh]

Saw several people angrily responding to this one & all I can say is she’s 100% right

[imawitchywitch]

This 👏🏻 is 👏🏻 propaganda 👏🏻

The push for the infantilization of women to not only be seen as normal, but desired because the world is oh so stressful and hard so just let your man take control of you and your life, is propaganda. Life is being made difficult and hard on purpose. The rise of incel misogyny culture is on purpose. The rise of trad wife infantilization of women is also on purpose. The rise of divinity feminine and masculine, be in your femininity blah blah blah, is also on purpose.

It’s not cute or whimsical. It’s not kink. It’s alt-right propaganda.

You can be whimsical or kinky or have your age regression moments, while also recognizing when you’re witnessing propaganda on your feed and what that propaganda is trying to achieve.

[theseventeensteps]

obsessed with how fixable society is, on a structural level.

obsessed with how all you need to do is throw money at public education and eliminate most standardized testing and you will start getting smarter, more engaged, kinder adults. obsessed with how giving people safe housing, reliable access to good food, and decent wages dramatically reduces drug overdoses and gun violence. obsessed with how much people actually want to get together and fix infrastructure, invent new ways of helping each other, and create global ways of living sustainably once you give them livable pay to do so. obsessed with how tracking diseases, developing medicines, and improving public health becomes so much easier when you just make healthcare free at point of use.

obsessed with how easy it all becomes, if we can just figure out how to wrench the wealth out of the hands of the hoarders.

[theseventeensteps]

i've lived in four different cities in my adult life and talked to literally tens of thousands of people about politics and the change they want to see in the world and the overwhelming majority of them wanted life to be better, happier, easier for everyone, and dreamed of that world. the only people who didn't think that way were A) really obviously in need of mental/medical care, or B) rich.

wanting universal free healthcare, well-funded public education, and social support for all people is the most unbelievably normie opinion that exists, even among people who have lots of bad or misguided opinions about other things. when you feel alone, know that the reason you feel that way is billions of dollars are being spent to obscure the fact that you are in the majority.