My phone has 10 percent battery and this is the nth time I've had to rise from the ashes of my identity to start anew ~
How to be a human being has me messed up. MESSED UP messed up. Yk those memes?? The-- "wishing my fave fic will update except I'm the one who has to write it--" memes??
How to be a human being is like that except whenever I wake up in the middle of the night and I sit up too quickly I see it staring at me from the end of my bed saying, "Mother!!! Mother!!! How could you let me starve? How could you be so negligent?" How to be a human being is just a little ghost that follows me around.
Since I've been writing again, I decided an effective way to start would be to summarize and annotate each chapter of my story until the most recent. I can't tell if it's my own filter coloring things, but the latest chapters have such a different mood to me. It mirrors the moment in time when it all hit the fan last year.
Also? I didn't realize that all the events in chapter 2 takes place in chapter 2. The reader knows Pink knows by the end of that second chapter. I like the speed of it.
Some parts could have been better written for sure. Chapter three was a struggle to write if I remember. If I could, I would fix it so that the mood is more ominous and the tone less desperate. And chapter four was me hastily crafting a lore stick I could beat my characters with. I think it reads that way as well.
I like chapters 5 through 7.
But chapter 8 could have been more punchy and chapter 9 is a missed opportunity. I like the concept of chapter 10 but chapter 11 was contrived.
That entire chapter bugs me. There's a good story in there. I wrote that thing a mess. I'm pretty sure I watched Jacksfilms stream the United States presidential debate between Trump and Biden while I was high on mushrooms when I wrote that chapter. I was honestly toying with the idea of killing Wilbur off entirely and it culminated in his botched suicide attempt.
This story has some good bones. I could make the craziest broth with these bones but I need to reevaluate. I think might need to rewrite the entire past few chapters.
What am I on? Chapter 13? The initial skeleton of this thing was as follows:
Ch1) dramatic introduction / Tommy being adopted but he doesn't know it yet
Ch2) Pink's dramatic backstory / an evolution of relationships / "there is 1 impostor among us"
Ch3) Technoblade confronts Tommy & then they go shopping
Ch4) attack p. 1! Wilbur gets smacked around a bit and Dream plays mind games with Pink and Red
Ch5) attack p. 2! Tommy gets smacked around a bit and then wins! Dramatic reveal!
Ch9) Tommy hiding in the vents. Super crazy lore drop on alien hanahaki "Leaf Lung" and ANGST and theft and Phil and Techno regrouping
I am at the chapter 9 plot point and I have written 12 chapters. Why is there bloating?? Why are chapters chopped up? Why did I change a major plot point that derailed the vision I had?
So what what what what WHAT do I do
I can backtrack. I can rewrite a few chapters and make something that suits the vision I adore. I can keep going and messlg stitch the original story onto the new loose ends I made.
I feel like I should backtrack. But then how would I format and rewrite? Would I take the original story down or just add a Tee Hee A/N like "hi everyone! Sorry, just ignore the next few chapters. I finally lost my mind last year and wrote an idea that I barely had! Anyway, skip to ch 13 for the real story!"
I don't think I even care enough to worry about this actually. I have a thing in one minute and my phone is down to 3 percent. Hmm hmmm. Methinks I have brainstormed enough today
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