... then let me tempt you...

~ Aziraphale Angel of the Lord, guard of the Eastern Gate of Eden ; seducing his Demon Crowley 

[apomeds]

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[a-grim-thin-hope]

i do not "get good," i do not "keep practicing," i do not "take a break," i do not "level up," i CRASH OUT. and if i don't beat the boss first try with an absolutely terrible strategy then i KILL MYSELF

[never-a-good-thing-to-have-deac]

Wait… Isn’t Ed Balls day coming up? ED BALLS DAY, I HAVE TO GET READY TO CELEBRATE 

[thewalrusfrompingu]

What’s Ed Balls day?

[never-a-good-thing-to-have-deac]

Omg, okay explanation time. 

On the 28th of April, 2011, Ed Balls got a Twitter account. He decided (as most people under the spotlight do) to attempted to look up his own name. However, all he did was tweet “Ed Balls”. This, for some reason, got retweeted by THOUSANDS of people. On a global scale. And because he didn’t know you could delete a tweet it stayed. Every year since then,the 28th of April is Ed Balls day. 

This is the infamous tweet

and here are some gems to celebrate that have followed the years, including last year where they framed the tweet and got him to sign it for charity

There are also LOADS MORE in this article from the Telegraph

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/general-election-2015/11566593/Ed-Balls-Day-fourth-anniversary-of-that-tweet.html 

[never-a-good-thing-to-have-deac]

HAPPY ED BALLS DAY 2017 WOOOP

[never-a-good-thing-to-have-deac]

Now that the clock has struck midnight…

HAPPY ED BALLS DAY 2018 WOOOOOOOOOOP

[lavender-and-red]

IT’S HERE

[flapjacques]

[render94]

typewriter!

[theclockworkjudas]

I love the orchestra trying and failing to maintain a straight face throughout

[silly-jellyghoty]

Exactly. These people had to rehearse at least a few times all at once yet when it's nkt their turn to play they still look at that guy with the typewriter as if he was the most fascinating thing they have ever seen.

[ironwoman359]

My husband's wind ensemble played this song when he was in high school! you can do it with normal auxillery percussion, but it's so much more fun if you do it with a real typewriter

[alexseanchai]

now that is a writing mood

[whetstonefires]

they were really like, the only reasonable approach to this piece is to insert a clown at the center of the orchestra

[iconuk01]

If you're not playing Leroy Anderson's 1953 classic "The Typewriter" with an actual typewriter on stage... why would you even BOTHER?

From wiki

According to the composer himself, as well as other musicians, the typewriter part is difficult because of how fast the typing speed is: even professional stenographers cannot do it, and only professional drummers have the necessary wrist flexibility

[sleeplessv0id]

what doesn't kill you makes you weird at intimacy

[chunkbase]

i lied i don't like sex or drugs or parties i just wanted to wear an outfit

[draconym]

Reptiblr please advise. Why does my female hognose snake have bulge. Is she intersex?

She was sexed female about seven years ago. I'm curious but I don't know if I'm Give $80 To The Vet curious.

[draconym]

At about 31" long this is the largest male hognose any of us has seen (while females can be up to 3' long, males usually don't exceed 2'). And they've got swollen junk so they are on Baytril for a week.

[draconym]

Happy Birthday Galaga, You Get: Dick Surgery

Sorry lil buddy, good luck

[draconym]

nevermind they don't know WHAT my snake is

they're fine though. just a lot of mystery fluid down there for no fucking reason!!!!

[victusinveritas]

[razielim]

oh i'm going to misusle and straight up fuckle this knowledge so badly

[frodothefair]

[the-bar-sinister]

So, the other day, when I was discussing AO3's policy on solicitation, a tumblr user came at me saying that AO3's "no monetization/solicitation" rules were "bullshit" because nexus mods allows fan created mods to get paid.

Look at me.

Look at me right now.

AO3 protects you.

AO3 protects you and your works. 

It protects your works from copyright strikes and DCMA takedowns.

It protects your work from advertisers.

It protects your work from overzealous legal challenges.

It protects your right to post adult content.

AO3 is non-profit and AO3 will never try to use you or your work to make a profit for themselves and AO3 will go to bat for you if someone tries to legally challenge you or your works.

Please respect AO3 and its mission.

[grunklebongrip]

When a fic doesn’t fit my head canons but it’s well-written

[bebx]

[nootdraws]

My WIFE (ao3) has been SHOT (is down for maintenance) and is DEAD FOREVER (probably will be back up in a few hours)

[conceptblogfromaconcepthuman]

how many tons of cement would we need to fill in Silicon Valley, hypothetically speaking

[transhumanisticpanspermia]

enough that if you poured it all at once, the exothermic curing reaction would also succeed in melting it

[conceptblogfromaconcepthuman]

so we do it very slowly then

[transhumanisticpanspermia]

no, you misunderstand, that’s the point. if we pour it quickly, the core of the concrete mass will become molten, along with everything trapped within. we won’t just be burying silicon valley. we’ll be melting it. we will erase it from history, so no foolish future civilization will ever have to face the grim possibility of accidentally unearthing it.

tens of thousands of years from now, when the molten core of concrete, metal, glass, and horrible tech industry culture solidifies into an unrecognizable mass, we will be able to safely mine it to reclaim the metals, which will have conveniently sorted themselves by density.

[conceptblogfromaconcepthuman]

we need visionaries like yourself in public office

[foibles-fables]

so when AO3 comes back up you’re all gonna leave some appreciative comments on your favorite works, since you missed them so much during the downtime, right?

…………right?

[vigilantsycamore]

Concept: one of those standard plots where a magic user and a tech expert are arguing over whose purview the weird thing of the week falls under, but it's the magic user who's insisting this has to be a science thing and the tech expert who's insisting it has to be a magic thing, because they're not arguing over worldview, they're arguing over jurisdiction and neither of them wants to be the one who has to deal with it

"Look, it's a circuitboard. That makes this tech - your territory"

"That 'circuitboard' sure looks like a runic circle to me. Your territory"

[vigilantsycamore]

"Look, it's an evil lab! That's your circus!"

"Yeah, and there's a demon inside! That's your monkey!"

[medievaljournalist]

everyone riding the train today got 250 xp after a level 32 dracula wandered onto the tracks