THE OFFICIAL TEMP & PROBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR STATION 118
(Or: How to Survive the Most Dysfunctional Yet Effective Firehouse in the LAFD.)
So, you’ve been assigned to Station 118. First off, we’re sorry. You must have angered someone in upper management.
If you’re reading this, you are either a temp firefighter, a probie, or you lost a bet. Regardless of how you got here, you’re in for an experience that will leave you questioning everything, including basic physics, firehouse professionalism, and whether two men can be so in love that an entire station just collectively decides to never say anything about it.
You will get attached. You will get confused. This guide is here to help you survive the madness.
Rule #1: Don’t Question it
Did you just see a firetruck jump a freeway divider? Did a firefighter just bench-press another firefighter for fun? Did the captain just predict an emergency call before it came in?
Yes. Yes. And absolutely yes.
It’s best if you just roll with it.
Rule #2: The 118 attracts weird calls- Accept this
You’ll see things. Terrible things. Confusing things. Things that should not be physically possible. Examples from past rotations include:
✅ Someone flushing a baby down the toilet
✅ A fighter jet in someone’s living room
✅ More natural disasters than statistically possible
✅ Situations so baffling even Bobby Nash, the most experienced firefighter here, will have to take a deep breath before dealing with them.
Just accept that this station is cursed and move on
(If you hear the words “raccoon” and “rescue” in the same sentence—walk away. We do not talk about the raccoon incident.)
Rule #3: If you cant find Buck, look for Eddie
If you can’t find Eddie, look for Buck.
If you can’t find either, follow the noise.
🔹 Loud crash? They’re there.
🔹 People shouting their names? They’re definitely involved.
🔹 Unnecessary heroics? Yep, that’s them.
Do not attempt to separate them. That is above your pay grade.
(Exception: If Bobby tells you to separate them, congratulations! You’re now part of the problem.)
Rule #4: If someone says “PROBIE, CATCH!” - DO NOT CATCH
🔹 If Buck yells it, it’s already airborne.
🔹 If Chimney yells it, it’s a prank.
🔹 If Hen yells it, catch it and don’t ask questions.
🔹 If Bobby yells it… it’s probably too late.
Rule #5: Be nice to Christopher
Christopher is Eddie’s son. He is the unofficial mascot of the 118 and the only person who can tell Buck to shut up and have it actually work.
Christopher is amazing, and if you are even slightly rude to him, you will be immediately ejected from this station, either professionally or physically.
(Seriously. If Buck finds out you’ve upset Chris, you might just get yeeted out of the firehouse. You think we’re joking? We are not.)
Rule #6: Hen knows everything
You cannot hide anything from Hen.
If you did something embarrassing, Hen already knows.
If you have a dumb question, Hen will answer it—but with judgment.
If you think you can outsmart her, you are wrong.
Your best course of action? Accept your fate.
(Bonus Tip: If you ever need good advice—about firefighting, life, or avoiding Chimney’s latest scheme—ask Hen. She’s your best hope.)
Rule #7: Chimney is either your best friend or your worst nightmare
You will never know which until it’s too late.
If Chimney is laughing at you:
🔹 You are about to fall for a prank.
🔹 Something ridiculous just happened, and Chimney has already made it his personal mission to bring it up forever.
Do not trust him if he says, “Hey, Probie, can you do me a favor?”
(Exception: If Hen is also involved, run.)
Rule #8: The unofficial married couple energy is strong
They’re even co-parenting a child
At some point, you will witness the following:
🔹 Buck and Eddie bickering like they’ve been married for ten years.
🔹 Buck casually doing things for Eddie like an overenthusiastic husband.
🔹 Eddie rolling his eyes but secretly loving it.
🔹 A conversation that consists entirely of looks, and yet somehow they both understand exactly what’s being said.
Do not ask if they are together. Do not point out that they should be together. This has been an ongoing, slow-burn situation for years, and apparently, we’re all just waiting for them to figure it out.
(Side note: If Chimney is also in the room, he will absolutely narrate their moments like a nature documentary.)
Rule #9: Expect unnecessary displays of strength
Someone at 118 will, at some point, decide that carrying you, the ambulance, or possibly a full-grown cow is a totally normal thing to do. Don’t fight it. Just nod, say “Wow, that’s impressive,” and move on.
Rule #10: Never underestimate Bobby
Captain Nash is somehow aware of everything at all times. If you break a rule, he already knows. If you get involved in nonsense, he saw it coming. If you think you’re being sneaky, you’re not.
Just be honest. It’s easier for everyone.
(Exception: If Buck tells you to do something, assume it is not captain-approved and proceed with extreme caution.)
Rule #11: You will never be the “Alpha” here
It doesn’t matter how strong, fast, or experienced you are. The 118’s hierarchy is absolute and was forged in a trial-by-fire (literally). The sooner you accept that, the happier you’ll be.
The pecking order usually goes like this:
🔹 Captain Nash – Sees all, knows all, somehow controls all.
🔹 Hen – The mom friend. Respected. Will roast you if necessary.
🔹 Chimney – The chaos gremlin. Somehow both responsible and unhinged.
🔹 Eddie & Buck – The human embodiment of “Do first, think later.”
🔹 Bobby’s Cooking – It has its own level of authority. Respect it.
(Note: If Bobby ever calls you by your full name instead of your nickname, start updating your résumé.)
Rule #12: You will not leave the same as you arrived
If you survive your rotation at the 118, congratulations! You will now find every other station shockingly boring.
Common side effects include:
✅ An instinctive sigh whenever you hear something crash, followed by, "What did Buck do?"
✅A strange desire to always check on Christopher, even though you are no longer responsible for him.
✅ Uncontrollable frustration that Buck and Eddie still haven’t figured it out.
✅ A deep, unshakable feeling that, despite the madness, you kind of miss it.
If you experience these symptoms, don’t fight it. You’ve been claimed by the 118.
🎉Welcome to the weirdest, most dysfunctional family in the LAFD. 🎉
And remember: If they ever actually kiss, you were here first.
May Bobby Nash have mercy on your soul.
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