Not a lemming

A space for critical thinking and independence of thought        

[nolemmingshere]

Practicing

There have been a couple articles lately about debates within the United Methodist Church and their views on homosexuality. After a married lesbian Bishop was promoted by unanimous vote, another group objected because the formal stance of the United Methodist Church rejects ordination of "practicing" homosexuals.  Huh. am I the only one who stumbles over that? I mean, I know you can get better, but shouldn't every time be treated like the real deal, instead of just practice?

Yes, I know it's about celibacy, but does no one else see how crazy that is? As if celibacy changes who you are as a human being. You don't stop being straight just because you happen to be single. I'm pretty sure I'm still queer whether I currently have a same sex partner or not. The ability to be attracted is not under my control. Sure, whether I act on that attraction is, but I am still the same person either way. It's not like everybody is expected to be celibate, just the one group. I'm just not buying that there's a moral value to being born straight any more than there is moral value to being born one race or one gender. Faith has been used to justify racial prejudice and, for most, that has changed. The same is happening in regard to homosexuality for a reason, because it's not Christ they're quoting when they speak against love. Christ was all for love.

I think the Christ who sat to dinner with tax collectors and prostitutes and essentially revolutionized his faith would've welcomed all.

[nolemmingshere]

freedom from shame

Have been watching debate on burkinis with interest. My gut reaction is to oppose any religious distinction between genders. I understand the US approach to protecting religious freedom, but I think if young African Americans were taught they must cover or hide themselves in specific clothing due to their skin tone, there would never be acceptance.

Oh, they're allowed to treat them differently. It's their religion. Hiding bigotry on the grounds of religious freedom is not ok. We wouldn't accept it based on skin tone, but different treatment on basis of gender is routinely accepted. We believe our 12 year old daughters are called to marry and sleep with their 56 year old uncles, huh-no. Marry off all the 12 year old children of color but not the pale ones? I don't think so.

That's why I object to discriminatory dress codes. I don't think little girls should be told they have to cover up. It teaches shame. Shame of the bodies that are simply us.

Dress codes blame girls for not covering up. Insisting on a head covering is only one more step on the same path. Of course I object. I don't think gender discriminatory treatment of your children should be allowed, and religion is no defense. The bible clearly defines where you can sell your daughters into slavery. Who would (still) fall for "but it's my religion" as a defense of slavery?

That said, pictures of French policemen pressuring an older woman to uncover don't seem right either. She looks in the pictures like to her they're asking her to strip naked. At what point is it just another example of other people telling you what to wear? Shame from too much exposure or from too much covering up. It's still another uncomfortable woman being pressured about her clothing.

Maybe we could work harder to teach women not to be ashamed, and worry a little less about what clothing they wear.

[nolemmingshere]

Guilt but no punishment

So, one day I read of a Church standing up in support of LGBT rights, the next I am reminded once again how little we value women. Yet another rapist walks free. Not because of a loophole or possible confusion of his guilt. He confessed.

He confessed to sexually assaulting two young women. They were asleep, so his statement that they didn't say no, at least not until the assault woke one of them up, falls pretty flat. Probation and no criminal record, because as one of the lawyers said, we wouldn't want him to have to deal with the stigma of a criminal record, or sexual offender status, or even the limitation of normal probation which would restrict travel out of state. He couldn't miss his college experience.

What about the women? What about their lives, their college experience? Obviously we don't value them.

We couldn't take anything from that poor young man, never mind what he's taken from these women.

Rape is more than a simple assault.  It's a theft.  Rape steals. It's as if the whole of those women's sex lives has been taken. Maybe a few tough ones fight their way back to being ok, but don't kid yourselves, those moments aren't just over and things get back to normal. Thing's are never normal again.

No one should be able to steal your body, your person, your sex life, regardless of your gender.

Can you imagine if passed out young men were at risk? If passing out behind a dumpster, or simply sleeping after a party, meant someone might take a cleaver and steal their sex lives? Would "But he didn't say no" work for that? Would you get probation then? It's just assault.

If you stole the sex life from a young man, you would not get probation and a court room full of concern that your future meant more than his.

More proof that we don't value women.

We don't value women even as much as cattle.

We'd judge, and that young man would have a criminal record if he'd tried to sleep with a cow. Never mind there's no social stigma, no lifetime of anxiety and counselling, no risk of actual physical pain, but the cow has a presumption of innocence that those sleeping young women don't, and we'd judge that man as the thieving rapist he is.

Where'd I put that cleaver, or should I say cleave him...

[nolemmingshere]

Do Unto Others

You cannot scream people into agreement.

Think it through, you know that's right. We cannot scream people into agreement.

We all know there has been a great deal of recent unrest. Lots of shouting and demands to be heard. Not so much listening, and not a lot of remembering that do unto others is not meant as a command to violence.

That's why it was great to see article out of Charlotte NC this weekend. Several local churches standing up for LGBT rights and participating in a gay pride parade. Supporters, religious supporters, outnumbered the group of protesters. In a state with the HB2 law and some kind of bathroom use obsession (I still can't get my head around the idea that the small government party believes in spending money on that, and peering in bedroom windows and such, anyway...) it's a relief to see my fellow Christians stand up and actually be Christian. Not quietly sitting at home thinking how it's a shame "those people" are getting yelled at, but being there and showing support with your presence. It's not a burden to love. Hard sometimes, but it is what we are meant to do, greet people with love. Do unto others as you would have done to you. Not just for Christians either. Many faiths have a similar belief. The members of these churches were walking with them, as close to in their shoes as you can really get, and showing your support goes farther than just stating it.

Churches leading the way with love not hate. That is the faith with which I was raised. That is the faith that accepted me when I realized I was bi. That is the faith that called in tax collectors, and women of low repute. (ok, I just wanted to find a way to type women of low repute) It reminds me that things are not as bleak as they sometimes seem.

That said, realizing that Wynonna Earp is filmed in Canada has made me consider the whole move to Canada back up plan should Trump win. Wayhaught's enough to tempt anyone.

[nolemmingshere]

I Won

Well, seems like an interesting few weeks. Bernie Sander's 2014 tax returns finally came out. Not sure why it took so long or why he holds the others back but I did learn something interesting. Bernie knew he was running, He knew he was in the public eye. He knew his finances would be public. Huh. Bernie made more than me, over $200,000 that year, and only gave away $8,000+. So he made more than me, and gave away less.

I didn't know it was a contest, but I darn well know that I won. Bernie's so busy shoving his hands into my pockets he's forgotten that he should be dipping into his own. Not bad for a career politician, something over 45 years in politics and he's still running as an outsider. Claiming it's rigged because being 3 million votes behind in the popular vote has resulted in fewer delegates. Conviction can be very convincing I guess. I wonder how much you have to want it to be true to believe. I guess delusion is comforting. Maybe the Trump people can help me find out about that.

Other interesting things. Oklahoma has decided that if you are drunk and forcibly sodomized that it's not rape. Direct from the news on a case of a 16 year old virgin who accepted a ride home, passed out drunk and recalled intermittent struggle so went for a rape kit which confirmed she had been sexually assaulted. The court said her intoxication made it not rape.

By that logic, drinking negates the presumption that you would refuse. So then stealing from someone who is drunk is not theft. Beating someone who is drunk, perhaps with a bat taken to their nether regions, is not assault. By that logic I can think of a few parties that would be a lot more interesting. Since the law supposedly does not discriminate by gender, we must clearly assume they are not just punishing this poor girl and thinking, any girl who drinks like that gets what she deserves, the slut. No certainly not, the same rules would apply to boys, so they are fair game. Let that sink in.

Even the Catholic Church didn't have the nerve to suggest that if you hand over enough of the sacrificial wine then the altar boys got what they deserve and it's not assault.

Maybe Trump isn't the only thing that's crazy these days.

[nolemmingshere]

Language and Racism

Language and racism

Language is meant for communication. It can be used for a lot of things, both good and bad, but there's no point in language unless you want to communicate with someone other than yourself.

Even though lately it is often used to drive people apart, I think language is the best way to bring us all together. That's why it's frustrating to hear it called racist to believe in having one language for our country.

Wanting to communicate should not be called racist.

Some people would say that having things bilingual improves communication. If you're talking about street signs I agree, but for my fellow citizens, no, we need to be able to talk to each other. We're all Americans, we need to understand each other. One nation, one language.

I realize some people will read that and assume I'm racist. An interesting assertion, since there are a lot of different languages, many different ones spoken by people of the same race so why even assume a racial divide?

Language is about communication, not race, and I believe in communication.

There's a strange dichotomy here. For years Americans have been derided for going to other countries and expecting everyone to speak English. A fair complaint. I agree, you'll learn more about a country if you make the effort to try to learn the language. Even Hello, thank you, and excuse me are enough to make a start so yes, any tourist should at least try to learn a few phrases and Americans as a group deserve that criticism. But then why should a US citizen not be expected to be capable of minimum communication?

It takes time to reach citizen status. Time that can be used to develop communication skills. Not learning the language is a choice, a choice not to communicate, a choice to remain apart. We need to be Americans together not apart, and I think communication is essential for that goal.

[nolemmingshere]

The New Snobbery

The more things change the more they seem the same. Or in scientific terms, maybe we're just reverting back to the mean.

Growing up, I would've said freedom of speech had become part of the American bedrock, a quintessential element of the American psyche. In the time of the founding fathers it was a revolutionary idea, but growing up with sayings like "I may not agree with what you say but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." made me feel it was a done deal.

I'm wrong way more often than I'd like.

How many articles have there been about Universities and colleges where students sue because their poor little ears cannot tolerate the mere sound of a dissenting viewpoint? As if their heads will explode if they hear someone say they don't believe eating organic is healthier, or if they see someone dressed as Hitler for Halloween. That's the trouble, isn't it?  Real freedom of speech has to be for everyone, even the assholes.

Anything else is just a new snobbery passed off as enlightenment, a way stifle dissent. There's no reason to fear dissent when you have reason on your side. Too bad instead of reason they want gags.

The current PC attitude is a far cry from the freedom of speech I believe in. Maybe it's a new message, but not a new method. It's a new aristocracy, a new intellectual group of supposed elite who won't tolerate even the idea that many things are more gray than black or white.

Sort of sounds like the old days, like medieval old days.

[nolemmingshere]

Working not whining

Working not whining.

It seems that more and more Americans are focusing on divisions, labels, political correctness and ways to separate rather than unite our country.  Overall America is a wealthy place. Not because we are all wealthy, but because more of us are than in many other countries. A lot seems to be said to the contrary, but even homeless beggars in America do better than an awful lot of people in Calcutta. Please, some beggars in America do better than if they had a job. I think an open eyed view of what true starvation poverty looks like should stop the whining about how horrible we have it here. It won't, but it should. 

Being born in America or getting to come here is like winning the world lottery. Don't believe me? Take a look around and ask one of the millions of people trying to get in if they'd like to trade places. There's a reason so many people come here, legally and illegally. Those people aren't spending their days whining about how awful and unfair America is. They're just hoping for a chance to work their way to just a piece of that pie. Dreaming of a chance to have hard work get them ahead when in many places hard work barely staves off starvation. I don't recall the American dream ever being described as having a chance to collect welfare.

America is still a place where hard work can get you places. Too bad so many would rather sit around and whine for welfare than work for a paycheck. That's not the American dream, it's the one thing that can sink it. 

[nolemmingshere]

Compounded Interest

Compounded interest.

Some years ago child psychologists set up experiments with groups of children. A single marshmallow was placed in front of each child. They were told that if they didn't touch the marshmallows and waited for the researches to return minutes later that they could have a second marshmallow, or they could have the one marshmallow now but they would not get another later.

As you can imagine, young children often get only the one marshmallow. (They also occasionally touch the marshmallow while they think they are unobserved, and lie about it, but the lying is not the point here.) Older children are more likely to be able to wait and get two marshmallows.

Delayed gratification. Not a new concept, something that develops with maturity, but now somehow foreign to too many people. It used to be a part of growing up. You learn to work now for a return later. Work hard, finish school, you'll reap the rewards later. Invest and save now, you'll get a return later, with interest.

Compounded interest. It's not just for banks. Investing in retirement early gets you more- because of compounded interest. When you put in your time with your education when you're young, you get that back, more the earlier you start, like compounded interest for your life, not just your money.

It seems some days this lesson has been forgotten. I think instead of sitting around looking at other people's marshmallows (yes, I mean coveting other people's marshmallows) we should all strive to be two marshmallow people. You can get there if you work for it, but you need to be a two marshmallow person.

[nolemmingshere]

Fat Shaming

Have just watched a you tube star sending a message to fat people, not least of which is pointing out that complaining about fat shaming is like calling the race card without race. Her detractors were quick to insist there are many reasons people are overweight. hmm. NO. No there are not.

As a physician I am confident that the only reason people are overweight is that they take in more calories than they burn. There is a single illness-prader willy- which can result in uncontrolled eating because sufferers of this genetic disease are unable to control their eating on their own. They lack the mental capacity to do so, but they still gain weight because they take in more calories than they burn. Parents of these individuals are instructed to physically restrict food access. That's not what's going on with the many Americans who are over weight.

I've heard often enough about how you can be overweight without eating too much. That's ridiculous. Do people actually believe that if they were shipped off to an area of famine they would still be fat without calorie intake? They have not found the cure for starvation. They eat too much.

I lost 80 pounds at the end of high school because my mother was kind enough to point out to me that I was too heavy and needed to lose weight for my health. No I did not like hearing it, but she was right, and I will probably live longer because my mother helped me to be healthier.

I tell my friends who smoke that they should stop (yes, to their faces, I am a doctor. I tell my friends for free.) If I thought a friend had a drinking or gambling or shopping problem I would say so. Since when is letting your friends eat themselves to death courtesy? Don't you like your friends?

I like mine.

[nolemmingshere]

Kim Davis

Ok, I admit it, I am relieved Kim Davis is finally in jail. In America we are all allowed to be bigots, but not to discriminate. Plenty of people in the past have used the same arguments Kim Davis has used to resist gay marriage in order to resist interracial marriage, desegregation of schools, etc. I believe in religious freedom, but if you're a seventh day Adventist who doesn't believe in blood transfusion then don't work in a blood bank. If you do work in a blood bank, and you refuse to do your job, you should be fired. Religious freedom is not about freedom to discriminate.

[nolemmingshere]

Marco Rubio

Have just seen Marco Rubio's comments opposing abortion even in cases of rape, incest or pregnancy endangering the life of the woman. So, appears his argument was that he believed in the sanctity of all lives. Maybe not that of the woman, but "all lives."

Ok, then I guess he is in favor of mandatory organ donation. Not just after death of course, because all lives are sacred. That means one day you could hear a knock on the door and it's the donation team there to congratulate you because you are going to save a life, whether you want to or not. They strap you down and take your kidney. Be happy you won't be puking for 9 months, and fewer people die from organ donation than from pregnancy, so no worries.

That said we live in a society which not only does not require organ donation after death (you're not exactly still using those organs and a lot more than just one life could be saved) but we let distant relatives stop donation even if you've left written instructions indicating you wish it.

Which one of the people opposing abortion has ever endorsed forcing people to save lives by giving up organs they are no longer using?

It's easy to force things on someone else, especially when you know it will never happen to you.

We'd save more lives by supporting organ donation than by opposing abortion. Unlike Mr. Rubio, I'd wait for people to die before using their organs for someone else, and I'd let people opt out, but make the default setting donation. If you don't take any action we assume you want to save others and your organs are donated. That simple change would make all the difference.

Too bad Mr. Rubio isn't interested in all lives, at least not if he might have to offer up something more than words.

[nolemmingshere]

Trump

So, I thought my last post would be it for Trump. Certainly the last I would need to say about Trump and his views on women. How wrong I was.

Trump seems frozen in childhood, Freud would have a field day.

I think I remember that accusation from middle school, and maybe later from a few frat boys, but only when they were drunk. It would almost be a relief to think Trump was drunk. At least then it wouldn't be such an obvious commentary on the place of women in modern society, or the lack thereof. How sad to think women are still trapped in the same battles Mary Wollstonecraft and Madame du Deffand were fighting in the 1700's.

Perhaps I do a disservice to my gender but somehow offering any more response feels like engaging in an intellectual debate with a llama.

[nolemmingshere]

Trump

Just saw surprising article about Donald Trump, or rather surprising because it was his advisor, not him, making the surprising comments. Apparently he pays a man named Michael Cohen as an advisor, and this man stated that you cannot rape your spouse. An assertion quickly debunked by the commentators because of course all 50 states have laws against rape and marriage does not preclude that. Found Mr. Cohen's subsequent supposed apology even more interesting. He said there's nothing he found more upsetting than allegations of rape and this led to his ill considered comments. Huh, I would have said being raped was a whole lot worse than being accused of rape. More evidence women and men look at the world differently.

Much as I enjoy the levity Trump brings to the race, I think any "advisor" money he's spending on this Cohen guy is wasted. Have definitely not figured out why so many republicans are tripped up by this issue. Can't they make a little flow sheet for themselves? Something like Rape=Bad

You know, keep it short and sweet so it's easier to remember.

[nolemmingshere]

Minimum wages

Did I miss the day we paid off the staggering national debt? Last I checked we were trillions in the hole, but watching the news an ever expanding list of government provided benefits keep being proposed. Not to be outdone by Obama's suggestion of free community College for the needy, Bernie Sanders now suggests free state college for all. And of course, Gov Cuomo wants 15 dollars an hour for fast food workers (interesting that not all state employees make that rate). Over $31000 a year for a job which many untrained teenagers can readily manage. That's more than I made as a physician in residency when I was working over 120 hours a week, and I had already completed a doctorate.

I don't think the value of a person can be measured in cash. Your income is simply not a measure of your worth, but I am a capitalist. I do think some jobs should pay more than others, It's certainly possible that many of the people supporting these proposals are socialist or communist and believe we should all make the same income. Millions of people have felt that way, so they would not be alone in that view, but in practice money motivates people and the person with the dedication to get IT training or a veterinary degree or a plumber's license should in my view make more than someone doing a job which does not require that type of skill.

Effort counts, including the effort it takes to save and borrow money enough to do something like buying a McDonald's franchise. There's plenty of effort and risk there. If the business fails the owner has a good chance of losing their home, while their employees don't run that risk at all. If you carry the risk you should get the reward if one comes.

Maybe instead of putting some McDonald's franchise holder out of business, we should consider that too much government money is going to support people who don't work at all, and instead of giving that level of support to people who don't work, we should take that funding and give it to people who are working. I think there simply isn't enough motivation to work when you lose every other subsidy to the point that plenty of employed people are advised by social services to quit their jobs, because then they will qualify for housing and insurance subsidies that leave them better off unemployed than employed. That should never be possible.

We have to motivate people to work, not to quit.

[nolemmingshere]

Racist murderers

I've heard a lot of commentary carefully explaining why Carolina's racially motivated murderer is the most evil thing ever. No question murder is an evil act, and drawing a gun on a group of older, unarmed innocent people is pure cowardice. Indefensible from any viewpoint, but that said, with the trial of the movie house murderer underway it's hard not to notice that somehow, some lives are treated as if they're worth more than others.

I think these murderers are the same kind of crazy cowards, with very little in their actions that can speak for the whole of society. One crazy does not make everyone racist. Why is it that treating those deaths differently isn't acknowledged as racist as well?

Division won't help racism. Taking down the confederate flag might, though my reason for supporting it has more to do with thinking our country should have one flag. Divisiveness won't make us whole. Constantly pointing to our differences doesn't help. Treat this guy like the cowardly nutcase he is, just like the guy at Sandy Hook, the guy in Colorado, Manson, your average serial killer who has to prey on defenseless women in the dark-lock 'em all up, but don't treat them differently. They represent problems in themselves, but they're the same kind of crazy. Seeing them as different is racist too. 

[nolemmingshere]

Fee for service

Fee for service, in health care it's become the scapegoat for all ills. Article after article contends that eliminating fee for service will improve American health care. I understand that people seem to believe that because in fee for service care doctors make more when they do more, that they will do unnecessary tests, surgeries, etc. In any business there will be corrupt individuals, but I don't think the system of fee for service deserves the blame, and I think benefits are being ignored.

There are a lot of businesses where people work fee for service. Your mechanic, your plumber, that company that wants to bundle your TV internet and phone, architects, accountants, people in sales, doesn't your grocer make more if he sells you more? I think fee for service encourages people to work harder. Would it really be better if providers made the same amount whether they work hard or not? Isn't that what we have with the people behind the counter at the DMV? Do you really want providers who make the same whether they work late or not? I don't think so.