Does the Dog Die?

addressing concerns about incidental (fictional) animal deaths in film and television.

[dogs-in-movies-database]

Dog #1955

Daddy’s home - Sean Anders (2015)

[nomoredeaddogs]

SO excited to learn about the existence of the Dogs In Movies Database.

[nomoredeaddogs]

The Witch (2016).

Evil takes many forms: a teen girl maybe, a goat maybe, two creepy twins maybe, just some woman maybe, Chris Finch from the British Office almost certainly. Who can ever truly know? You if you watch this movie, it is made very clear.

For the sake of avoiding actual spoilers I will stick to just dogs. Suffice it to say there is a horse, a hare, and several goats in this movie.

Total Dogs: 1.

Surviving Dogs: 0.

I loved The Witch, you guys. Everybody go see that witch!

[nomoredeaddogs]

Groundhog Day (1993).

I genuinely can’t remember if I’ve done this one already.

Total Groundhogs: 1.

Surviving Groundhogs: 1 thanks to confusing magical intervention. It does die at least once though.

Okay campers, rise and shine and don’t forget your booties ‘cause it’s cold out!

[nomoredeaddogs]

Crimson Peak (2015).

Man, movie ghosts have really got to work on their direct communication skills, you guys.

Total Dogs: 1.

Surviving Dogs: 0.

[nomoredeaddogs]

This movie isn’t out yet and is a documentary, but artist and Lou Reed widow Laurie Anderson has made a documentary (dogmentary) about their hyper-well-trained dog Lolabelle, who could among other things play the piano. Heart of a Dog deals with death and the bond we have with animals and is currently on the festival circuit and will receive a limited release (trailer here).

Not for nothing but my old roommate cleaned Lou Reed’s apartment when he was still alive--by that time they had a different dog who could also play the piano. Lou Reed apparently had a lot of very specific brand loyalties but was described as incredibly sweet, which is what you want out of the guy who wrote something as beautiful as “Perfect Day” and subsequently inspired that weird Macaulay Culkin pizza-themed Velvet Underground cover band to sing Pizza Day.

[nomoredeaddogs]

Do the dogs die in the book The Hand That Feeds You?

Anybody know? This is proving more difficult to find than initially anticipated (i.e. it wasn’t one of the first four things that came up when I Googled this title and I am lazy).

[nomoredeaddogs]

Saw the latest film adaptation of Far From the Madding Crowd. As it goes in the book, the inexperienced sheepdog named George herds all of Gabriel Oak's sheep off of a cliff. George watches him screaming with rage. This is followed by a shot of Oak shooting at the ground, and a body is heard collapsing. This means that he shot George as punishment. So yes, many sheep die and so does a dog.

I’ve been so mired in work I forgot this movie I was very excited about was coming out! If you remember several years ago when the movie Tamara Drewe came out but aren’t familiar with Far From the Madding Crowd, they’re very similar plots. Without the commentary on bored young women in country villages.

Anyway!

Total Dogs: 1.

Surviving Dogs: 0.

Plus a fair amount of sheep. Thanks a bunch to maxtaroisheretoo!

[iamjodiekins-deactivated2016033]

There are actually 2 dogs, Old George and Young George, Young George is shot but Old George survives!

[nomoredeaddogs]

Important Far From the Madding Crowd update from iamjodiekins! Thank you, Jodiekins!

Total Dogs: 2.

Surviving Dogs: 1.

[nomoredeaddogs]

Legally Blonde (2001).

Netflix emailed me because it thought I might be interested to know that Legally Blonde was available on Instawatch now. And you know what, internet? I was. I don’t even care, y’all--I love Legally Blonde. It’s a delightful movie and it reminds me of that weird, too brief, great time when Jennifer Coolidge seemed to be in every movie. She just fantastic, isn’t she?

But it doesn’t sate me, Netflix. Come talk to me when you’ve got The Jerk and Tootsie. I can’t believe that damn site STILL doesn’t have Instawatch Tootsie.

Total Dogs: 2.

Surviving Dogs: 2. What kind of movie do you think this is?!

You know who else is in this movie that I didn’t remember? Raquel “A Million Years B.C.” Welch (sans wooly mammoth bikini) and Linda “Freaks and Geeks” Cardellini (sans army jacket). Who knew?!

[nomoredeaddogs]

Saw the latest film adaptation of Far From the Madding Crowd. As it goes in the book, the inexperienced sheepdog named George herds all of Gabriel Oak's sheep off of a cliff. George watches him screaming with rage. This is followed by a shot of Oak shooting at the ground, and a body is heard collapsing. This means that he shot George as punishment. So yes, many sheep die and so does a dog.

I’ve been so mired in work I forgot this movie I was very excited about was coming out! If you remember several years ago when the movie Tamara Drewe came out but aren’t familiar with Far From the Madding Crowd, they’re very similar plots. Without the commentary on bored young women in country villages.

Anyway!

Total Dogs: 1.

Surviving Dogs: 0.

Plus a fair amount of sheep. Thanks a bunch to maxtaroisheretoo!

[nomoredeaddogs]

I saw The Age of Adeline last night and, unfortunately, the dog dies :(

There you go, folks! Age of Adaline (2015) which is far as I can tell is a sort of reverse Benjamin Button where instead of aging backwards Blake Lively stays young forever (wait would a reverse Benjamin Button just be aging normally?).

I guess it’s not surprising that a lady who never dies outlives her dog. But still! Why include the dog in the first place? We know it’s going to die!

As a side note: in between this and Interstellar, is Ellen Burstyn embarking on a really specific career playing the now-old daughters of parents who never age?

[nomoredeaddogs]

Black Mirror (2011- ).

I don’t know how long Black Mirror’s been on US Netflix but I recently mainlined it (referring to TV binges, which already have a horrifying name like “binge,” as “mainling” is just one example of the many ways that I’ve learned nothing from watching this show). Highly recommend for sci-fi fans looking for a Twilight Zone-esque show. HOWEVER!

Total Pigs: 1.

Surviving Pigs: Probably 1?

I will say that I found the episode featuring the pig, the FIRST EPISODE of the show, very difficult to watch for pig-related reasons. There are no animals in the entire rest of the series though.

[nomoredeaddogs]

Why I Don’t Watch Animal Movies

Pet death is a part of life, but I don’t care to see it magnified on a 50-foot screen.

Who’s that referenced at the bottom with my secretly more comprehensive* rival site? Why it’s me and this Tumblr!

*I provide COLOR COMMENTARY which my similarly-named rival does not. So...take that!

[nomoredeaddogs]

The Double (2013).

Dostoevsky and Richard Ayoade. Existentialist comedy. My kind of thing. Also British comedy nerds who for some reason haven’t seen this, Chris Morris is in it very briefly! It’s incredibly exciting. He does a great little grin in it. Also, weirdly, J Mascis. Oh! And of course, for keen-eyed viewers, Does The Dog Die favorite Paddy Considine! That guy’s in everything that’s either funny or bleak so of course he was tangentially in this combo funny/bleak thing.

Total Pigeons: 1.

Surviving Pigeons: 0.

Mike Tyson wept.

[nomoredeaddogs]

God Help the Girl (2014).

I tried to take myself on a little double feature date where I saw the movie Frank and then went on a short walk to see this at a different theater 15 minutes later. What I didn't know when I got to the theater was that Stuart Murdoch was at that showing and it had sold out way in advance. Stuart Murdoch prevented me from seeing his own movie.

Also every single girl who arrived to go to this movie was basically dressed as a character from the movie. And not in a cosplay sense, in a "this is just what Belle and Sebastian fans look like I guess" sense.

Total Dogs: 1.

Surviving Dogs: 1.

[nomoredeaddogs]

2015 will mark the finale (I think?) of This Is England with This Is England 90. I KNOW none of you share my fascination with this show and its various stars but surely ONE of you is interested in seeing Ian the Parrot as a raver.

[nomoredeaddogs]

The Babadook (2014).

I spent the evening explaining to my father that not all horror movies are senseless trash because some of them are "about" something--be they heavy-handed commentaries on consumerism like Dawn of the Dead or, as with the case of The Babadook, relatively heartfelt (for a horror movie) movies about grief and depression.

But horror movies are also the dog-dyingest of all genres and this guy is no exception!

Total Dogs: 1.

Surviving Dogs: 0.

[nomoredeaddogs]

Two movies I saw in October in which the dog dies: Maps to the Stars, Benjie shoots his friend's dog dead in front of everyone else in the room while high on GHB. Monsters: Dark Continent, the dog you see in the trailer does not win the battle against the small monster. His guts spill out of his mouth.

You heard it here first, folks! Maps to the Stars and Monsters: Dark Continent. Dogs die!