m a i z i e

at this point love me, or leave me alone

[weloveshortvideos]

Why are these fish so hard to catch?

[non-precisive]

me: i'll give you two dollars

college: .........tuition is $39,000

me: you're good. 2.50

[witchjock-deactivated20221208]

My freshmen year roommate was a complete fucking disaster but he would throw parties and everyone would pass out in our living room and every morning I left for class at 7am I would just get little choruses of “have fun at class, good luck” from hungover stoners and let me tell you, as someone who thrives off attention and positive reinforcement, this setup really worked for me

[wrotten]

[kronkocean]

[varietyblr]

[manhood]

“What’s your favorite music genre?”

[nathaniel5-deactivated20240708]

*drinks vodka* *gags* “ugh I hate vodka” *drinks vodka*

[zaks-ghost-adventures]

[non-precisive]

Me: I am a pretty chill and laid back guy

My Doctor: You have a literal diagnosed anxiety disorder

[vinebest]

[captainsensible]

i know i already reblogged this like 20 minutes ago but I think this is my favourite vine of all time.

[cofhee-deactivated20150123]

[alphaacentauri163754]

donald trump is like. a parks and rec character. if there was a continuation of the show and there was a season where leslie ran for president he would be her opponent. angry orange man with no real policies who just shouts offensive stuff while leslie looks aghast that people are agreeing with him.

[abracadang-blog]

I love that anyone around my age knows spongebob well enough that we can all allude to it from time to time and we’re all like haha yeah me hoy minoy hoy

[taemins-day]

i had a dream that i was walking around in a shirt with stalks of corn all over it and somebody was like “wtf are u wearing?” and i said “it’s a crop top” i laughed so hard that i woke up

[animmalcrossing]

last year a boy walked into my class 20 minutes late and really high and my teacher asked him why he was so late and he said “i don’t know i think there were more stairs than usual”

[non-precisive]

*walks past people who are laughing*

brain: they're laughing at u

me: they're 20 feet away and I don't even know them

brain: at U

me: shit ur right