Super Secret Naruto Side Blog ;)

Hello and welcome to my longest running special interest! Ambrose | they/them or xe/xem | 30+

[acidicbanana]

mada🦔 sketch w different brush

[cyberass]

Commission for s_unagakure

Tobirama making sure his students eat smth more nutritional than sweets and meat buns

[wren-kitchens]

why is fandom less fun when black ppl or aro ppl or trans ppl tell you to check your biases. if its 'just a headcanon' why is it such a big deal that ppl ask you to think about why you made it

why do you never engage with black characters, why do you always think the same type of character is transmasc/fem, why do you only find romance interesting to the point of ignoring plotlines so you can create ships

are we actually just being the fun police or are you just being a bigot. why is pretending we dont exist necessary for your enjoyment

[strawberrycamel]

we really should be calling it fanworks, not content

[strawberrycamel]

I'm here for fun and community not to rp a mega corporation's underpaid social media intern

[nonbinary-itachi]

Ooh. I should make Izumi a taijutsu specialist.

Shisui is the genjutsu expert. After he befriended Itachi, Mikoto and Fugaku started offering to train with him as well, which Shisui nervously yet very eagerly accepted. Fugaku, the world's preeminent genjustu master, immediately notices that Shisui had a natural talent for it and started teaching him progressively harder and more complex ones. In the Unity Clause AU, by the time shippuden comes around, Shisui's the only person alive who can match Fugaku's skill level.

Itachi is the ninjutsu specialist. Given his health/stamina doesn't exactly allow him to be a heavy hitter paired with his perfect chakra control, he's very good at performing a variety of ninjutsu and even combining multiple elemental jutsu to achieve an effect (such as fire and water for mist, which his sharingan allows him to see through while the opponent can't).

It takes Izumi a bit to find her niche. Being friends with two prodigies tends to give one self-confidence issues since they seem to pick up everything annoyingly quick, even by Uchiha standards.

Upon realizing that their trio lacked a taijutsu specialist, she decides to try that. Besides, Shisui and Itachi were more about evasion and keeping a distance. They needed someone who could get close and hit hard to keep them on their toes.

In the Unity Clause AU, Tsunade returns to the village "temporarily" after she learns of what basically sounded like a coup happening in the village. She goes straight to the Uchiha to get the story (she loved her sensei, sure, but he wasn't exactly unbiased in this situation) and breaks the kitchen table in anger as the story unfolds.

Fast forward, fast forward. Fugaku is hokage. Tsunade is horrified by the lackluster state of her hospital and agrees to stay just long enough to get it back into shape as the world's foremost medical facility.

Since Tsunade's already agreed to teach Itachi medicine and Shisui is... reluctantly training with Jiraiya (that one confuses her, but she supposes Jiraiya is The Sealing Guy so 🤷‍♀️; it's probably best not to question it), she decides to try her hand at getting a sanin teacher as well.

It... does not go well. Tsunade all but slams a door in her face. Izumi, however, did inherit the Uchiha's infamous stubbornness, so she keeps trying until one day, she stops the door as Tsunade tries to slam it shut again.

"Look," Izumi starts, "I know you're a world famous medic nin and the strongest kunoichi alive, and I'm just some pathetic little half-Uchiha brat in your eyes, but I'm tired of being insignificant. Itachi and Shisui are incredibly talented and powerful and everyone think I'm just... I'm just... I'm just the weak little girl who follows them around. I don't want to be that. I know I'll never be stronger than them, but I at least want to be able to stand beside them instead of behind them. I want to be able to protect them if the situation ever called for it." She deflates with a sigh, "I know I can't force you to train me, and everyone else will probably say I had no right to even ask you in the first place, but I had to try, so... thanks for listening, I guess?"

She starts to walk away when Tsunade calls her name and tells her to be at a training ground at dawn. "You get one chance, kid. And I'm not gonna go easy on you. Fuck this up, and you're on your own."

Izumi beams.

Tsunade's training is, by far, the most hellish training regime she's ever experienced (and she's suffered through a pissed off Mikoto training session before!), but she's determined.

Between Itachi, Izumi, and the fact that she practically had to rebuild the hospital programs she started during the 2nd war from the ground up, Tsunade ends up staying for several years. By the time Naruto and Sasuke graduate, Izumi's mastered Tsunade's super-strength and made a name for herself across the Great Nations just like her boys... and she's never been prouder of herself.

[nonbinary-itachi]

I have accidentally made the Uzumaki the most disability accommodating shinobi clan/village in the Naruto universe.

After Uzushio is destroyed and her people sent across the continent, most of them are utterly horrified by the inherent ableism built into the various village structures. Some take steps to help matters, but sadly, in most places they don't have much success.

[After the 4th War, some of these practices are pulled from storage, and they actually begin to implement the things the Uzumaki once did and advocated for.]

[nonbinary-itachi]

One of my favorite silly-ish headcanons is that one of the best sources of erotic material in Konoha is run by a civilian. As such, it's practically a rite of passage for teenage shinobi to use a henge to get past the owner and get materials they technically shouldn't possess yet.

(Shinobi are considered adults once they graduate from the Academy, but given how young some are when they manage that, I image there's still some hesitancy to sell them certain materials, especially among the civilian population.)

[narutwitter]

[canchuonsstuff]

More baby Hashirama please 🥺

ONLY BECAUSE YOU ASKED SO NICELY!!!

[scribeherself]

I think one of the gentlest things in the world is when a friend just gets your weird little brain. like you say half a sentence and they finish it. you reference something incredibly niche from seven years ago and they’re already nodding. they understand your strange vocabulary for emotions that don’t have real words yet. it’s being seen and known and still loved. maybe especially because you’re known. god. what a gift.

[polyamandhellaglam]

Polyamory is safe for work. Polyamory is safe for kids. Polyamory is safe for day time tv. Polyamory isn’t more sexual than any other relationship and it can be just as romantic, sweet, and healthy.

[evilwriter37]

Aggressively reblogs.

[ahsoka-in-a-hood]

Apparently some people still need to hear this so: using an 'ai checker' is still using ai. If you are feeding someone's fic to one of these checkers, you will still not be sure their fic is ai because they are not 100% accurate, but you can be 100% sure that you are using ai. For fic. Furthermore you are doing the work of an ai scraper for them. You are, personally, feeding the machine. There is no actual excuse for using an ai checker on fanfic as a hobby. YOU are the problem.

If you think a fic is ai, mute it and move on. That's it. That's all you do.

[ahsoka-in-a-hood]

Um. Yikes

[nonbinary-itachi]

Unity Clause AU Headcanon

Naruto is still a prankster even after receiving a loving family, so imagine the chaos when he gets the other Uchiha kids involved.

Izumi is more than capable of being just as chaotic (I should decide what her father was one day to see how much he influenced this), so when she and Naruto work together a collective feeling of horror descends among the shinobi population. They don't know what is about to happen, but it will be big and loud and Fugaku's going to get a headache from cleaning up the resulting mess.

Shisui is not much better and adds a manipulative aspect the other two aren't capable of. (Shisui could have someone believing the sky is green without any genjutsu [and probably has, quite frankly], so convincing/distracting someone to let Naruto do a prank is a breeze.)

Itachi is, by all appearances, the nice, responsible one, so no one ever believes they'd get involved with a prank. This is absolutely not true; have you forgotten who their best friends are? It's more likely Itachi is providing the alibi, and no one expects them to lie so Naruto must not have done the thing after all.

(Mikoto and Fugaku have suspicions, but it's good to see Itachi being an actual teenager so they pretend otherwise.)

Sasuke... just look at canon. Imagine all that energy if they're working together instead of against each other.

If someone does something bad enough to get all 5 in on a prank together... woe betide that person.

[nonbinary-itachi]

DnD/Fantasy AU

Itachi

Class: Divine Soul Sorcerer

Background: Noble

Species: Aasimar

Justification: I mostly just think this one is fun. Itachi as a half-angel noble who gets power from Amaterasu (or Tsukyomi, either or) is a absolute delight to me.

Shisui

Class: Psi Warrior Fighter

Background: Inquisitive

Species: Kalashtar

Justification: Given Kotoamatsukami's power, I love giving Shisui psychic abilities in AUs with the capability, which is exactly what a psi warrior is. Kalashtar just feels fun. I was stuck between charlatan and inquisitive for the background, but I think his curiosity wins (plus inquisitive goes nicely with his fighter class).

Izumi

Class: Way of Kensei Monk

Background: Charlatan

Species: Chthonic Tiefling

Justification: Kensei are essentially weapons and martial arts, which is what my Izumi excels in. I went back and forth on who should be inquisitive and who should be a charlatan because she and Shisui both have traits of both, but after repeated questioning myself, I realized that a) charlatan goes nicely with monk, and b) the idea of Izumi being a swindler is a delight. The tiefling part I have no justification for beyond the idea of a half-demon and a half-angel being best friends brings me joy.

[nonbinary-itachi]

Because I often use disability aids for pain management, I am going to give them to others as well. Also chronic pain is not well discussed in a world that has to have a lot of chronic pain issues. You're telling me a world of people who've had their bones broken repeatedly since they were tweens (or younger!) can't feel when the weather's about to change in that bone?

[Insert "Sure, Jan" gif]

Unity Clause AU

Shisui: owing to the lingering nerve damage caused by poisoning, his right leg has a tendency to act up at times. Depending on how bad it is, he uses either a cane or forearm crutches (underarm tend to cause more soreness plus having a full cuff means he can still have use of a hand when he needs it). Both are kept in a storage scroll on his person at all times.

By the time canon starts, he's had the mangekyou for ~15 years (gained it at 7 and he's 22 now), so he's almost completely blind despite rarely using any of the associated abilities. The main thing in this regard is a series of tenji (Japanese Braille) labels for certain things about the house (this one was largely at Itachi's insistence after things got moved around and Shisui's prior knowledge of the space was no longer applicable). Chakra sensing helps when out and about, but after tripping over Itachi's wheelchair enough times for it to become embarrassing, he started using a cane around the house or other smaller spaces. A lot of talking devices too (ex. microwave, kitchen scales, and thermometer). Also an induction stovetop, so he's less likely to accidentally touch a burning surface.

Apparently even non-light seeing blind folks can still have photosensitivity with migraines and there's a specific types of glasses that help filter out the most painful light ranges, so he has a nonprescription version of those as well (non because his vision can't be fully corrected at this point anyway and he only uses them when dealing with migraines).

Itachi: chronic widespread pain means their most frequently device during flare-ups tends to be a wheelchair. They tried other things in the beginning, but as their condition worsened, what helped with one area made another worse (ex. a cane helped with leg pain but made their wrist and shoulder ache worse).

They also have a variety of aids around their house such as support bars in the shower and a shower chair.

Izumi: really only has a multipurpose service dog trained to both detect migraines and help with balance/stability issues. She also has migraine glasses.

[nonbinary-itachi]

Disclaimer: Asexuality and it's subcategories are not inherently caused by trauma, BUT trauma can cause it. As far as I'm concerned, if the asexual (or a subcategory) label fits your experience/feelings, I welcome you to the ace community. And if that label changes happens to change in the future for any reason, I hope you enjoyed your stay.

Now onto the headcanon!

In a previous post (or 2), I made the comments that after years of sexual abuse and trauma, Shisui's pretty meh on the whole idea of sex and generally doesn't bother unless he really likes the person. Which doesn't happen that frequently. And tbh, he often finds it hard even feel sexual attraction and/or become aroused unless that connection is there.

This is practically the definition of demisexuality (as I understand it at least). Which means I accidentally made Itachi and Shisui an ace4ace couple, and frankly, I love it.

Despite being the family's resident Queer Expert, Shisui doesn't initially process that he falls into this category. He'd felt sexual attraction before (and since) the trauma, so he can't be any flavor of ace. Never even considers the possibility.

Then at some point, someone (Anko?) makes a comment about him being more ace than the actual asexual (Itachi) and it makes him start to wonder.

Shisui: I can't be on the ace spectrum, right? I don't mind sex in moderation. With the right person. That's not ace. It's just trauma.

Itachi: Weren't you the one who told me being asexual and liking sex weren't incompatible? And that sexuality is fluid and can change over time? And it's valid if and when that happens? Any of this sounding familiar to you?

Shisui: ...

Itachi: Can you be aroused by the sight of random strangers?

Shisui: Not really. Not lately at least.

Itachi: But you can once a bond is established?

Shisui: ... yes.

Itachi: Isn't that a type of asexuality?

Shisui: Oh, my God.

Itachi: Whether you would've been like this without the trauma isn't important. You feel it now, and as the only other ace in the room, I say you can claim it if it feels right.

Shisui ultimately does decide to claim the demisexual label (though he's hesitant to say as much to anyone at to avoid encouraging/being a stereotype). Shisui and Itachi's sex life stays as infrequent as it always was, but the unspoken pressure to do sexual things (mostly on Shisui's part, though he hadn’t been fully aware of prior to this realization) disappears.

[nonbinary-itachi]

Growing up, Shisui didn't exactly have a whole lot of comfort items. He has some memory of Sachiko being nice before his father became disabled, and one of the better ones is laying with her and being able to smell the orange blossom of the perfume she occasionally wore.

After she left them, he found an article of her clothing that still smelled of that perfume and used it as a comfort item for a while... at least until it fully sunk in that she left. She left when they needed her. After watching Naoki's cognitive decline, he supposed he couldn't fully blame her, but the comfort items stopped providing as much comfort. It would eventually be shoved in the closet where it'd spent years hidden behind a bunch of boxes, just gathering dust until it's uncovered again by accident (either by Fugaku and Mikoto dealing with the house after his death or even later in my aus where he survives).

As a teenager, the closest thing Shisui has to a comfort item is more of a comfort person (Itachi).

Meanwhile, Itachi and Sasuke both have stuffed animals from their parents that serve as comfort items (Sasuke has a dino Mikoto saw while shopping and put in his crib; Itachi has a cat that Fugaku picked up on his way to the hospital the day he was born). Itachi was approaching the age where pulling out said cat almost never happened (or, rather, that he'd never voluntarily admit when the cat was pulled out), but when he discovers this lack of comfort thing, he decides to try and remedy this.

The general idea is to find a stuffed animal since Shisui is part of their family and that seemed to be the family comfort item. After several days of agonizing over it, Itachi has an idea... and it's not one he's particularly eager to do.

When Shisui is back in the village not long after, Itachi more or less ambushes him at home with a gift bag. Shisui is beyond confused (and a little worried he somehow forgot something he shouldn't have), but he accepts the gift. And nearly dies laughing as he pulls out a stuffed weasel.

About the time Itachi's starting to feel self-conscious, Shisui finally explains. "No. No, no, no. I'm not... this is amazing.I thought you hated that pun though."

Itachi blushes. "I do but... I figured, um..." he trails off for a long moment as Shisui stares at him curiously. "I, uh, I'm sometimes able to comfort you, so I figured, um, if I can't be around, you have a... mini Itachi to help instead." (He suddenly regrets everything that led to this moment. This has to be the most ridiculous, sappy thing he's ever done.)

Shisui looks between him and the stuffed weasel, hugging it as he smiles. "I love it." (Itachi then proceeds to die of happiness and the cute.)

(The weasel holds a place of honor on his bed when he's not home. Itachi can't help but feel pleased every time he sees it.)