aro blog and accidentally a koisenu futari fanblog

....but isn't that the same thing really? | jay | arospec. acespec every other tuesday | gender is a game and i'm WINNING (any pronouns) | posting about aro and sometimes ace and gender stuff | header by @rezeren!

[the-irreverend]

And stay safe everyone!

[noxumboots]

Hey guys

[aro-ace-chaos]

I’m so tired of the “why do people hate aspecs, they aren’t doing anything?” argument. I know that it is an attempt to support us, but it fails so spectacularly to understand aromanticism, asexuality, and any other aspec identity that it’s actively frustrating.

We are doing something. We’re rejecting allonormative ideals and that’s a massive thing to do. We’re actively fighting not just to help other aspecs, but to help everyone, because amatonormativity (and allonormativity as a whole) hurt everyone. Single people who want to find a partner but can’t also deserve to be able to exist.

There are so many issues with the expectation of marriage, including:

A single income isn't enough to get by anymore

Having a spouse is almost necessary under the current medical system

Society shames and pressures people who are single to get into relationships constantly

Rejecting allonormativity means fighting against these things that hurt everyone.

So, no, aces and aros and other aspecs aren't "doing nothing." We're doing quite a lot.

[astronomical-bagel]

god it’s so sad living in an allocentric world. There are so many relationships that are so complex and nuanced that are all put under the label of ‘romantic’ and immediately all the intrigue is taken from it. Like don’t you realize that these relations are actually ENHANCED by the fact that they are not romantic or sexual?

[astronomical-bagel]

NOOO DONT PUT THE CHARACTERS IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP YOURE TAKING OFF THE SEASONING!!!!

[astronomical-bagel]

[lighthouse-wizard]

"I would do anything for you; I would cross worlds for you; I would kill for you; I would die for you" etc in fictional romance= tired and expected

from a boss to their employee= what the fuck is happening there

[just-aro]

sometimes it's so very draining that the majority of aro content is about fictional relationships.

irl, i live alone. irl, i am disabled. irl, that intersection and my lack of interest in partnering actively makes life really hard. everything is expensive. i can't always cook when i want to or have fresh ingredients, because my symptoms don't care if I want to cut up vegetables and eat something homemade before they go bad. if I have a bad flareup and getting up is not in the cards, that's it. i have what's next to me. the lack of social support for single folks, for disabled folks, for folks whose family care is inadequate or damaging... it's impactful.

I talk about how i once visited a place with an ex partner. i mention how our relationship started because i was pressured into it, and i wasn't really into the level of seriousness and 'forever' she treated it with. everyone says it's weird that i agreed if i didn't want it to be serious. i remember being 16, saying no, and a chorus of people telling me i was stupid and immature, that her family was rich, that we would be cute and to listen to them, not my heart. my heart was saying nothing.

i look at my current age and life goals. for many of my peers, dating and marriage and eventual kids are common goals. i am watching my rights erode and trying to practice good mental hygeine. my five year goal is to be alive. my next major life milestone is a nebulous desire to find a life i can tolerate living.

being aromantic significantly impacts my day to day. i want to see aro people living their lives, and doing so with joy. i want to see aro adults making it, ones like me. i want aro people to thrive. i want to live, aromantically.

i scroll the aro tag. it's fandom and shipping and asexual posts.

[just-aro]

okay to reblog! if i didn't want folks to reblog, i would turn off their ability to do so!

[mushroom-punk]

i love polyamory i love aromanticism i love QPRs i love communal child rearing let’s all get weirder forever

[matleo1997]

I wanna thank a friend @t-c-idk-how-to-do-this for making me these Aro/Ace themed bracelets :3

[nonacearo-week]

Non-Ace Aro Week Prompt Voting: Bracket 1

aro sapphics

aro4aro friendship

loneliness

repeatedly reminding somebody you're already out to of your orientation

"loss of love" after hanahaki not seen as a tragedy

Relationship Anarchy

Bending the rules

Loveless Aro

Discovery

Voting ended onMay 19

note: all brackets were decided by a “spin the wheel” website to avoid as much bias as possible

[nonacearo-week]

Non-Ace Aro Week Prompt Voting: Bracket 3

aroallo learning that friendship+sexual attraction =/= romantic attraction

Polyamorous Aros

Action ≠ attraction*

Platonic/Queerplatonic/Familial/Otherwise Non Romantic Soulmates

Rejection

"wait...those romantic gestures were serious?"

Vulnerability

committed sexual partnerships

Voting ended onMay 19

note: all brackets were decided by a “spin the wheel” website to avoid as much bias as possible

*“Action ≠ attraction (In other words, aros whose actions don’t conform to what is expected for their identity. E.g. romantically partnering aros, celibate and sex repulsed aroallos, etc.),"

[nonacearo-week]

Non-Ace Aro Week Prompt Voting: Bracket 5

aroallo health class horror*

cheating the system

coming out

preparing for a non-romantic outing with a partner

future

negotiating a qpr relationship

Isolation

a character redrawn using only the colors of any of the aro flags

Voting ended onMay 19

note: all brackets were decided by a “spin the wheel” website to avoid as much bias as possible

*"an aroallo going Through It in health class while they're in their "creating positive relationships" unit and the teacher proceeds to demonize FWBs (inspired by what literally happened in my health class today)"

[nonacearo-week]

Non-Ace Aro Week Prompt Voting: Bracket 6

coming out to their current partner after realizing they’re aro

Realizing your attraction isn't romantic after all

deconstruction of hanahaki

the No True Scotsman-ing of love

soulmate bond is sexual in nature, not romantic

Aro4Aro FWBs

smush

sexual queerplatonic partners

Voting ended onMay 19

note: all brackets were decided by a “spin the wheel” website to avoid as much bias as possible

[nonacearo-week]

Non-Ace Aro Week Prompt Voting: Bracket 7

aromantic cupid messiah*

world where non-romantic sexual relationships are seen as normal

dealing with romantic non-con/harassment

squish

Nonromantic Kink Relationships

LoveQueer Aro

aro4allo friends with benefits

Romance or Love Repulsed Aro

Voting ended onMay 19

note: all brackets were decided by a “spin the wheel” website to avoid as much bias as possible

*"accidentally being labeled as the messiah for a cupid-centric religion so now it's like How Do You Tell Them That They Got The Wrong Guy"

[nonacearo-week]

Non-Ace Aro Week Prompt Voting: Bracket 4

aplatonic aromanticism

arogender identity/aromanticism and gender

romance/ship tropes as horror

one is allo, others arent*

coming out and not having to explain anything

character feeling joy at realising they're aro

deconstruction of soulmates

Lovers to FWB

Voting ended onMay 19

note: all brackets were decided by a “spin the wheel” website to avoid as much bias as possible

*"Only one partner in the relationship is romantically attracted and both/all partners know and are fine with this"

[depressedcryptographer]

Asking for touch as an aspec is so weird like “hey, please touch me, but not in a sex/romance way, just in a human contact way. Interact with my body’s touchscreens. Punch me in the face or something. Please. I’ll take anything at this point.”

[mysweetoddbird]

listen to me. if youre aro you have to be louder about it. i dont care how loud about it you are already you have to be louder. if we have to be surrounded knee deep by amatonormativity all the time every day its good for the soul to be loud and annoying about your aromanticism

[classifiedcove]

something about sexuality and systemhood

[the-aro-agenda]

the thing is that i actually do enjoy romance in fiction but i also believe that romance-repulsed aros have the right to complain that NOTHING is made for them except maybe kids media. once you start to realize how pervasive romance is in every sector of society it's impossible to ignore. like you remember when there were barely any gay shows on television and straight people expected us to be grateful for the one gay side character on a network show? that's exactly how it feels with romance all the time. i want to see media created by adults for adults that doesn't involve romance anywhere in the plot. i want to see characters (main characters!!!) not want romance and not be treated as broken or crazy. i want a world where my romance-repulsed friends aren't confined to kids media (and even then, to only a limited selection)