If you wanna be right you gotta explain.
My argument is threefold, in that expressing gender is merely a side effect of dividing third-personal singular pronouns by gender, the use of pronouns not normally associated with your gender is an act of gender nonconformity, and that to dictate what pronouns someone ought to use based on how you see their gender is authoritarian and prescriptivist.
The main reason for pronouns is so you don’t have to repeat a noun four times in a sentence. Take the following example:
Gabby grabbed her bag and ran out of her room, only returning after she stole more food for herself.
Gabby grabbed Gabby’s bag and ran out of Gabby’s room, only returning after Gabby stole more food for Gabby.
Having to repeat a noun over and over again in a sentence quickly gets clunky and awkward. Showing gender in pronouns is then only a side effect.
Division of third person singular pronouns (TPSPs) by gender doesn’t occur in about 70% of languages, including all Chinese languages and American Sign Language. TPSPs in these languages are, instead, genderless and applied to everyone. English, however, got the short end of the stick in being a Germanic language hugely influenced by Latin and French, all of which are very heavily gendered. Somehow we escaped the curse of grammatical gender, to the point that all that remains of grammatical gender in English is TPSPs and certain gendered words. In other words, gendered TPSPs are merely holdouts, and their existence is accidental.
Of course, gendered TPSPs still exist, and correlate most of the time with the subject’s gender, at least in the more cisheteronormative parts of society. However, there are people within society who aren’t so cisheteronormative, and who don’t conform to typical expectations of their gender, either assigned or otherwise. The use of the “wrong” TPSP can be a part of this, and is an important part of some queer subcultures, such as drag performers and he/him lesbians. To say that acts of gender nonconformity are bad because of socially-constructed reasons is frankly ridiculous and a sign of bootlicking.
Furthermore, claiming that all people of a certain gender must use a certain set of TPSPs is blatantly authoritarian and prescriptivist. Suggesting that an individual must use certain pronouns because you say so is prioritizing your own experiences and opinions above theirs, and is essentially saying that they don’t know what’s best for them. Prescriptivism in language arises from places of privilege and power, where one individual decides that their way of communication is superior to all others and other people must conform. This is what you are doing.
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