☆RAY☆

Just a weirdo lil convert

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After I painted my TaNaKh my sister asked for me to do the same for her bible :] she wants doves too so I'll paint em eventually at the top!

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Shabbat Shalom!

I thought it may be fun to share some media that showcases our community or anyone yall HC as Jewish

Like how the MC from unpacking not only is Jewish but queer! Or Kronk is Jewish!

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I started painting on my TaNaKh. I tried to make them as even as possible obviously but ya know. They're based off the ring neck dove which is native to Israel. I figured I'd share. Also open to ideas on what else I should paint :]

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Man I sure wish Christians could just be normal sometimes? Obviously this is not directed to every Christian monumentizing a community is gross and icky don't do it. But I am so sick of giving the Christians on the sidelines of my life a chance. Just for them to throw awful manipulative rhetoric in my face. And finding out they were nice to me as a way of proselytizing, it makes me sick. I refuse letting bad faith actors make me bitter and untrusting but man I get it.

I already was sympathetic to how historically insuler our community has been but man do I get it. Do I get it because it's gross. The fact I'm only worth somthing to you when I conform to your narrow idea of life.

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Yalls feet ever hurt so bad you just hit the

"Kadosh kadosh kadosh"?

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Today's been rough.

I decided to be supportive and go to church with my youngest sister and father. They've only said great things about it and while I was skeptical. I do often go to church with close friends of mine.

Not only did it reinforce the evangelical (did not know it was evangelical before going) rhetoric I hate. Today's sermon was on End times and of course it heavily focused on how awful and dumb Jews are and on Converting us to Christianity. While of course Tokenizing Messianic Jews. That a top the pastor bragging for being part of the leading group working to overthrow Queer marriage rights in our state was enough for me. (Which he threw a tantrum a judge did their job??? Oh no they didn't let you pass a law that was unconstitutional???)

So being able to reverse engineer temple tuna is literally the one thing keeping me sane right now.

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As a big book lover sometimes a part of me gets jealous of Christians with their huge ass bibles (not that the TaNaKh is particularly small) but then I remember we have the Talmud and I get humbled real fast

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A funny conversation I've had with a Christian friend

Him and all of his brothers have biblical names. With their first names being anglasized but their middle names coming more from our shared texts. Which got us on the conversation that Jewish names truly are more iconic.

So for anyone who's ever been made to feel self conscious about their visibly Jewish names so much love to you

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I don't know about anyone else but a huge reason I decided to start doing this is to try and gain more friends in the community. Or i suppose to even jusy feel more active in it. I'm an hour plus away from my synagogue and while I love them and I can have not only warm but engaging conversations with anyone. Plus there is defiantly value in intergenerational friendships. But it can also feel a bit isolating being the only 20 somthing. The closest person in age to me in our active community is in their early 30s and married.

I have friends my age that are religious and I can have religious conversations. And I love the talks and study sessions we do share. Even my non religious friends are great sports and yet me yap about Torah. But I crave that connection to my people I suppose. Chronically online queer Jews lolol.

Idk it just be nice to have people understand what I mean rather than have to constantly be the token Jew

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Only goyim seem to try to invalidate my Jewishness.

And it's like they think they're doing me a favor. Like "sure you say you're one of THEM but don't worry we can tell"

I live in a semi-rural part of the south. With my synagogue being well into an hour away and having to cross state lines. There is not a Jewish community in the town I live. Wearing my Magen David I've heard people whispering wondering what an Israli is doing in rural America rather than guess Jewish people exist.

It's not hard to tell I'm a convert from the way I talk. My life is very interfaith because so are the people in it. My kind of adoptive family gifted me a gorgeous mezuzah necklace. And when I don't work Sundays sometimes I'll go to church with them to hear my bonus father figure preach. I still participate in my own family's christmas celebrations because to us it's always been secular. I may have a few more reservations about singing songs that speak of Jesus as divine. In the same direction one of best friends who is Christian and who's father preaches when I can't get to synagogue always makes sure I have someone to share the Purim story with. The same friend celebrated Chanukah with me and learned how to make Latkes.

And with all the issues that come with "looking Jewish" despite the fact there is no real way to look Jewish. My name isn't Jewish enough for goyim. Why is my hair blonde? Why isn't my nose bigger? Why are my eyes light? Why don't I fit the antisemitic character in their head? How can I be ethnically German and Jewish at the same time? Man oh man I must really be confused and hate myself.

"OH so you're just Jew....ISH"

Then when I explain how within our community we don't differentiate the convert. A Jew is a Jew is a Jew is a JEW. I explain the story of all our souls accepting Torah at Sinai. How I love my community and for once in my life I felt at home somewhere. And I get looked at like I'm crazy.

Maybe I'm lucky but I have yet to experience any type of differentiation within my community. I've been taken in lovingly and met with open arms. But it's always so crazy to me how I've never had my fellow Jew try to take away my Jewishness. If anything they constantly reaffirm it. I've never been mocked or ridiculed or less valued.

Goyim on the other hand will ask me questions on Torah. Especially Christians on the topic of mitzvot. Acting with superiority "Oh why would you follow that stupid law? We don't, don't you feel stupid choosing to miss out?" Its like an 'gotcha' moment but only for them.

I just wonder if you claim to love G-d why do you see tasks for them as hardship? I suppose it's a cultural difference. We see our laws as blessings and other see them as obligations. I don't live in a society where the religion and culture I've been adopted into is the default. There is an active decision made in being Jewish every single day of my life. But for them they get to be the default. No question goes into what they practice because that's just 'what you do'

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Does anyone else like annotating their Chumash? Or even your Siddur?

I know it can be a bit of a cultural taboos but I find it so beneficial to my studying plus it's so much fun! Like I don't see much from Christianity and think "man if only" but I gotta say the girly pop Bible annotations and journaling is kinda iconic.

I won't even lie my ADHD is crazy too like I know I always have my TaNaKh with me. But my study TaNaKhs, a journal, my Siddur, or anything else it comes to be a lot. Plus it saves me from blanking when my Rabbi inevitably asks "Do you have any questions or thoughts" of course I do! But man if I don't be forgetting. Now BOOM! Not only do I have all my questions. Theyre right by the scripture that spurred them.

I love crafting it's so much fun adding pages of notes and what not while I read my study TaNaKhs along side it. Or little additions about the Hebrew as I try to learn and get better. Plus it honestly keeps me more active in my TaNaKh it makes it more engaging to me.

I also like the idea of future generations being able to connect to me through seeing my thoughts and notes. It's also a great way to chronical my own religious learning for myself.

Do yall have anything specific you like to add to your books if you do?