noone @noone-official - Tumblr Blog

nothing worse than rawdogging straining hot water from your noodles and then half your noodles land in the dirty sink

Now, I was being extremely careful. And my noodle retention rate was 99%

Update: a few weeks ago I upended all the noodles into my flatmate's dirty dishes in the sink. I did, in fact, not eat that. I got the shivers while picking everything out of the sink to throw into the trash

I dreamt that I fell asleep during the day and missed something very important. I was vaguely aware of an underlying fear and feeling of loss, but for the life of me, I couldn’t rouse myself. Waking up was a sisyphean task and I was losing the battle against my failing body.

Ironically, this is also how it is for me when I try to wake up before 8:40

#what is existence if not a sisyphean task?

Of course, it isn't!

#word games #lol

Gobbling up a kilo of clementines in one sitting is my favourite pasttime

#clementine #love of my life #dont leave me

Getting your wisdom teeth as an adult is so embarrassing

#sorry for being a bitch #im teething #and #going feral #now the universe is telling me that I'm actually not an old soul #however.#i don't feel very wise #!#(not more than as my teenage self)

So you're telling me that being into horseflesh has nothing to do with eating horses 👁👄👁 ?

#horseflesh #that word gives me the ick #so ive been judging the book people #you know #like an asshole #i call that #pride and prejudice #while reading p&p variations (more commonly known as fanfiction)#or #horse flesh #whatever

wearing the clothes that were left too long in the washing machine like it's the walk of shame

#everybody can smell that i am a disaster human being :/#putting clothes into my closet and asking the question:#if i wash it again will i forget it in the washing machine this time?#probably #will i hang my clothes up to dry on time?#probably not

swaddling myself like a baby and taking a break !

#love when my body is on strike and forces me to take care of myself #!

*me biting my own lips*: munch munch munch yum yum yum

#in the words of the contemporary philosopher #hudson williams #I’ll have Breakfast all over your Tiffany’s munch munch munch yum yum yum #munch munch munch yum yum yum

I wish the human body would've evolved for you to be able to jerk off your cervix into expelling your uterine lining

#brb gotta deal with my engorged member #🤪#(the uterine lining trying to escape my cervix)#would that count as eggpreg ? 🤔#this would solve some problems !#evolution #benefiting ME #for a change #!!!#i dont want to deal with this anymore !#just do it #for me #please

Lifehack: ignoring problems until they go away only works 25% of the time

#works guaranteed sometimes though!#but when it doesn’t work #it hits different #life hacks #the more you know #therapy officially cancelled

People interacting with my shitpost diary while I have my regularly scheduled mental breakdown and tumblr hiatus. Crazy work

#or as the kids call it these days:#chrashout #hey someone should name themselfs that

*in beep boop robot voice*: you have the right to be a whore

#new vocal stim unlocked #sometimes i surprise myself with my own brain #the stim continues as follows:#you do not have any other rights. that is what it means to be a whore

It has taken me 100 years (2 hours), but now I've scrolled through my timeline of the last day.

i think the repeated ao3 shutdowns has made the denizens of tumblr crazy. when I return I do not want the new posts bubble to have 3 digits. sadly, that is a full-time job :/

#when im informed by my feed that ive missed multiple ao3 shutdowns and i frankly havent noticed any of them #unfortunately im not getting paid to read the posts of my mutuals and people im following :/#ao3

Being the funniest and most insightful person in any given fandom is something completely normal to want and definitely possible to achieve when you have a life and a job !

#try harder #be better #fandom culture #fandom

Why do men have those slutty little waists?

#thats crazy

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