“I don’t really like looking at the side of the table or anything it was just… tense or whatever.” And Frankie’s ears tended to perk up when drugs were involved. Which was embarrassing. And troubling. In so many ways. But Frankie had also developed a corner of the eye awareness for Anu in general over time. It helped to know when she or Lucy were making their way through the house.
“Nah I need to know. Really no better time right? What else am I gonna do, contribute to society?” Frankie let out a very unattractive snort-laugh. “I don’t even know how. Do you know how I was raised? Don’t answer that.” She didn’t want to talk about her parents, and she wanted to talk about Lucy even less after that unfortunate display. “And all the love to Piggy and Heli but they’re more like… ambient community building than, you know, whatever the hell Taliesin was arguing for. Which is weird, to be honest. I didn’t really believe him when he said he was gonna be valedictorian but when he tries… well, he does stupid shit but he’s a go-getter. Who knew.” Sobriety made fools of them all it seemed. “I didn’t even know his mouth could move that fast. But I don’t really pay attention.”
Frankie felt like her tongue was going a mile a minute, her thoughts speeding from one mooring post to the next, like speedboat pinball. She tried to breathe deep and slow down but all she managed to do was slow the speed of the car. “All my usual summer haunts apparently might have snakes in them?” She was pretty sure that’s what that girl had said. Or maybe she was supposed to look for snakes? “Long story. But I would very much like to go on a drive with you. Metaphorically. We should probably park. But like… not park in like the 1950s urban legend sense. To be clear. That might be a little intense. I’m still kinda…” She adjusted her grip on the wheel trying to get the words out before she lost her nerve. “That kiss was somethin’ else.”
Nora understood. You may not wanna look, but there was always something that could make anybody’s eyes stick to one place like superglue. Even she wasn’t immune—her eyes bore a hole in the dinner table when conversations with her parents shifted to her grades and all annoying disappointment and we expected better of yous therein. Either you stared into the abyss, or you twisted your gaze away and pretended not to notice its mean mugging. (Nora liked the latter.)
She obeyed and duitfully did not answer, though a lot effort went into doing so. Nora drummed her fingers along the car’s window pillar and listened carefully. The same treatment went to her thoughts, brow furrowing as she followed the thread of Frankie’s words. Nora could sing Frankie’s praises all day if she wanted to, albeit badly, but would Frankie hear it? Would she want to hear it? Grinding every ax on the shelf might be the only way for Frankie to feel better about the stuff on her mind.
She nodded along, then supposed aloud, “well, like, just so you know...when I wasn’t prepping for Mock Trial...with your help, remember? Besides that, I did a lot of reading for Anthro.” (Their school actually didn’t have an Anthrology class, but Frankie didn’t need to know about Nora haunting the library after that one auspicious day, somehow sure she would discover that same fizzy, unexpected spark in the place rather than a specific person.) “Community building’s been a thing for a long time. Forever if you can believe it, and as it turns out, not everybody in the community has to, um, contribute. Not directly. They were just there for the vibes.” She hoped Frankie would hear her or at least try to consider what she was saying in the company of unhelpful friends like insecurity and self-doubt. “Other people took care of them. Like, really loved them. There’s skeletons of those who would’ve hard a time making it by themselves against the woolly mammoths or evil cavemen or whatever else was eating neanderthals, but archaelogists found them all buried with stuff and treasure and, like, patched up injuries.” Nora risked a look at Frankie while her attention was fixed on the road. “Not everyone’s gonna show up to the party with the same gift, but you can still bring something. Like a Yankee Swap. You give something and you get something, even if it’s not exactly what you’re expecting.”
“Just a drive is fine with me,” Nora assured her, slinking from one precarious subject to the next much faster than the car was moving. It might not always be this way between her and Frankie, Nora knew, but stumbling from point A to point K was a study in stress. “Do you think we have the same definition of ‘something else’?” She asked bravely. After the dinner they shared, bravery felt like ride on a rollercoaster. “Because it’s okay too, you know. If you don’t. Whatever Frankie I can get, I want.”
