Not a bad geek

Rome was not built in one day

[notabadgeek]

It’s Been 4 Years

Time flies fast. It’s been 4 years since I last wrote.

I already got married and got a baby girl now. 

Regarding finance, one and half years ago, I had a chance to sell a business, and earn roughly over half a million dollars, which I think is not a small sum of money in my country. 

Currently, I also have an online business in that I already invested over $80,000 and it is making a good sum of money now. 

However, I’m not that happy at the moment. 

It’s all about my wife. 

I’ve been wondering if I’m marrying the wrong person as she’s been lazier than ever and not taking care of me. No, she’s been that way since the first days before I got married.

What’s worse is that she’s a non-social kind who only talks to her family and some very close ones. While I’m so busy with my work, she’s just returned to work; then I had to give up my time to take care of the baby; she just stayed silent. No encouragement, no suggesting solutions for my work. 

When I invited my parents to come to help me, she said to her colleague that she was not comfortable, and even talked in a sarcastic tone about my family. 

But when my parents came, it helped me a lot. I have lots of my for my work and have been comfortable thinking about the future. She even doesn’t care if I have time to work and bring more money to the family.

And most of the old devotion to the old project that I got sold was me, I even suggested signing a before-marriage letter about the sum. She refused. Even, now I already thought about having the house with me and her on the house names. She didn’t know and even talked blindly about it. Not so good with her attitude.

She even said she want to get divorced. Can’t believe that. Yes, that thought crossed my mind but only when she refused to take care of my parents when they are old. Now, she talked about that to her colleagues. 

While I’m the eldest son of my family, taking care of my family is my duty. And I don’t think this woman can understand that. She even doesn’t take care of me, let alone my family. 

What should I do now?

[notabadgeek]

When motivation is lost

It’s April 4, 2018. Time flew so fast, and I couldn’t dare to look back. I am a 29-year old man now, nearly a middleman now. 

For over 4 years, I still work at this company, and I don’t have any motivation to help this company or make it better. Never did that thought crosses my mind. 

I don’t know what to tell about my life, but this moment, I’m not satisfied with my life much. 

Health - I consume lots of coffee and energy drinks every day, and I don’t see this as a good sign for my long-term health and works. I am pushing myself too much to bring the results from my projects, but it’s harder than I can. It has taken more than time than I think. But finish or not, I know there is a time I need to stop pushing to sit back to take full care of my health. 

Finance. I am still poor. My budget over the last 4 years has been spent on a premium motorbike (46 million), a Macbook (33,5 million), an iPhone 7 plus (17,4 million). This still doesn’t count a fair amount of money is spent on traveling as well. I haven’t visited many places, and I do hope to go to more countries, but I am short of money now. And over the past 2 years, I have invested about 50 million VND on my projects, but still, I don’t see the results yet. Such a hard feeling when I plan to get married this year ( still a much consideration of the right person). I set a goal for myself to gain at least $1000 this year. 

Careers. Even though I still work at this company, I know I spent more hours on my projects than on my company works. It’s over a year for the project, and I do expect some big yield. Probably, I didn’t have much time because I am still at works. Probably, I didn’t accumulate enough experiences to make it faster. Whatever reason it is, I know I must make it by all means. 

Relationship. This is my worst aspect now. I don’t have any more friends, a real one that I can ask for help when I’m in trouble. That’s a super bad thing that I need to fix (but not yet). I’m in a relationship with a girl, but I still doubt much if she is the right one. Her mood is not stable and endured it from time to time. When you have quarrels for half a month, you must think much about that relationship. Still, don’t know what to do about it when if you get rid of her, you feel totally lonesome. But if continuing, I don’t know if I can tolerate her temper much longer. 

[notabadgeek]

I Want To Quit

I have asked myself this question so many times for half a years, and now my endurance is all off. 

I have stayed for this job for exactly 2 years. And things don’t go my own ways anymore. 

I am lost, and I even don’t know what to do. I lost all of my motivation to do the effective things for my companies. Where is the inspiration?

What is one thing / reason that makes you stay for the job? You need to answer this. Answer this. 

Don’t let time die away. Don’t let your own self turn so comfortable, and so boring. 

Time to make the decision, and go with it. Not time to get bored anymore. 

Get on your ship now!

[notabadgeek]

On Endurance, and Discipline, and Death

Tonight, on a conversation with Mom on the phone, she told me that a guy who I had a respect for and wanted to send a thank you for having helped me in my hardest time, is having defective marrow. And his younger brother, who is frequently faint, will donate one for him. Hearing what Mom said, I felt terrified. A voice out of a sudden crossed my mind that our time is limited.

I tormented myself why I have been deteriorating my health, doing the thing that my health system was saying "Stop"? Health has been and always been a very important thing for me, so when do i stop doing the things that can harm my health. I know my health is worse than lots of people, but at least it is well now. So please, don't push it too hard that till the time it's late. The respectful guy I said above was the one who didn't take of it. He have been drinking much bad alcohol. I knew that since I've lived with him for some months. And now, it's too late. I felt afraid.

I said again our days are numbered, so don't live a day wasteful. NEVER.

I've always weak when it comes to endure something temptating. I've failed to control my desire to porn, masturbating. I've been a loser when I swore to stop coffee,the stuff that was bad for my aching stomach but failed many times. Why can't I do that?

Steve Pavlina has said that "whenever I feel like my life is getting out of control, I return to my body. How can I improve my diet? How can I improve my exercise habits? This is an easy area to identify specific changes I can start making right away" and "If you install and maintain good health habits, this will benefit you in all other areas of your life too. You’ll have more energy and vitality to make bigger changes."

So with good health, I can do all the important things that I want to. With a bad one, I couldn't do, or If I still could, the result was worse. And since our time is limited, I have to put my health on the top priority. I don't want to do trade off, or if I can do a trade off, I hope it's worth it, not something that brings nothings, but a false sense of relief of quick fix.

And recently I've read the book "Man's Search for meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl, and articles about stoics that I've briefly known like Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and many many other people. They have been enduring intensely. They suffered the most terrible time, but they still overcome and survived, and even thrived. Why can't I even stop a very easy task of controlling myself from temptation of Porn, masturbation, and addictive beverage like coffee.

And I know that in order to follow my goal, and with a not so good health like I am now, I have to accept to endure, to have discipline I can not and better should not be like my peers enjoying their life, partying, travelling, I have to save money as much and as soon as I can. I have to be alone to have more time for myself to learn, to enjoy the inner peace, to enjoy the process, and reach my loving goal. And one more thing to put that for them travelling, or partying can be fun, but to me it's not, I love doing the thing that helps me. (And I always remind myself that maybe I don't have a good social life, but try to make some quality connection. It's always better than having many friends, but they all suck).

Thus, please again,

Don't blame, don't whine.

Don't try to find reasons to stop controlling my urge. 

Don't be like my peers, and I am not necessarily be them, wasting time enjoying life, travelling, partying, Facebooking.

Save as much money as I can as soon as possible. It's surely not a happiness source, but without it, one still can't enjoy the happiness thoroughly.

Always knows that our time is limited.

Be inspired and learn from and be like the Stoics in history, enduring the pain, the drudgery, the irritating hardship of controlling temptation. (Now I do need to read the 2 books: Meditation, Letter from a Stoic, and lots of biography books on Stoic.

Learn to accept the present, dwelling in the present, accept the drudgery, the alone time, the inner peace.

Always aware that invest in my health is investing my future, my boosting stimulation for my goal process.

And finally, always reread this post when I feel myself is going to lose the control

[notabadgeek]

On Interaction

When having a quarrel with someone in a group. There’s no need to feel down & shut your mouth to other people. Talk to them, and have fun like normal.

Don’t just make friends with hot girls, talk to normal or ugly ones as well. They’ll have much you can learn, and more fun.

Being a man doesn’t mean always be strong, calm, and don’t care what other people think about him. Sometimes he has to be flexible, begging for things, being humiliated & getting reprimanded. Don’t feel bad. If you aim for power, or bigger things, there’re no ways to shy away from these.

Learn to ask for help, ask for cooperation, or offer help (lessons from lots of my active peers).You won’t know, and gain nothing if you don’t open your mouth.

If you want to access power ladder, try to conceal your emotions, don’t just play with someone you like. And never show that you hate your enemy, don’t get rid of them if you have a break out. Be the first to fix that connection. They may help you later.

If you’re older than someone, show it from the start. Don’t let yourself be equal or inferior. It will lower your status, even the respect, causing you difficult to command, to ask for help.  If they’re older and more powerful than you, you can be lower, and state it so that they know. Always be congruent in your talking and relationship with people.

Relationship is an investment. Try to spend TIME & MONEY. Devise a strategy to extend your quality networking. It will pay off later.

Love is based on emotion. If you can let her feel that she is being taken care of, and I can do anything for her, or that you can keep her emotion high, perplexed, intrigued, she’ll not and can’t see all things except us and even let slip of biggest weakness. Moral: you don’t need to have perfect health, money, power,.. to have a dream girl.

[notabadgeek]

12 Amazing Things I've Learned

1. If unfortunately you have some disabilities or weakness like health (my case) over people, turn it to your advantage. Be innovative. Be minimal. Choose things for your life. Become less dependent on technology.

2. Don’t decide your own important things with just a little of your own experience.  I’ve made so many terrible arduous troubles with my recklessness. If it’s a long-term thing, don’t struggle too damn hard with your bound experience. If you have a good mentor, ask him or her. If not, do a good research, find books, read it. Take note, thinking, and applying it.

3. Never look at people’s achievements and feel stupid, or dispirited. People all have their own life. They all have difficulties, or depressed time, but most of them don’t show it. And we don’t see it. Their process is damn hard. With Facebook becoming prominent, we easily see their good things exposed to your eyes. But don’t be fooled by it. And one last word, don’t turn to your peers for motivation, or decision.

4. All your life is formed by habits. Good habits assist you to the goals of life, while bad ones drags you to hell. My experience. If you have a good habit, never have any exception to break it. Say you have a day off morning exercise. This game is damn good, I should play it for tonight, I can read later. Nope.

5. The best you can do with your reading is retention and applying. You can take notes, bookmarks, save it to your commonplace well-organized, logic and tidily so that you can reference later when you need it.

Another way to retain better is to articulate & analyze what you are reading any types you read (books, articles, blogs...). Do this by summarize, talking, sharing your stories with friends, teaching it.

6. Get used to feeling stupid. It’s a sign of growth. The two books Mastery by Geogre Leonard & Robert Greene with stories and many great articles I read strengthen my take of the perspective. To me, it’s still a matter because of my shyness, and my fear to act. But let’s boost the mindset first.

7. If you’re unemployed, don’t lock yourself at home for fear of losing your little money left. DON’T. You’ve been at home for long. It’ll become a depressed thing. You’ll have no motivation to find jobs. If you run out of bucks, borrow someone, then travel, going to your hometown, take a social course, joining a dance class, registering a gym, find a volunteer group,... Still you don’t want to do it because you’ve been accustomed to staying at your depressed home. NOPE. If you don’t want to do it, you still MUST do it. Don’t let bad habits, and negative emotions make your decisions.

8. Baby steps, or the flow are what matters. Small things amount to big ones. Getting tiny things done give you incentive. Try to look at things in a detailed matter in the present , not the big goals of the future. Always, it’s the process that counts.

9. Keep lists of ideas, things your read, stories you hear in an organized manner. WHY? Eventually, it adds up and you’ll see the connection through synthesis. You’ll have newer further better ideas to learn and brilliant topics to write

10. Doing things in a visual way. I don’t know what works best for people, but when I work, I love to keep a blank visual sheet near my workplace so that when I am doing something I write it down, knowing that I’m into it now. By this, it means I don’t support the idea of writing down all of my goals on paper and placed it in front of me. Of course I can plan a complete goal beforehand on a sheet, but when I work I want to have a blank paper and rewrite the goals, the things I’m doing. To me, writing things I’m doing in a blank sheet (even analogically or digitally) helps me focus on the present, the process.

11. Set hard boundaries for when and where works happen if you’re a self-studying or a self-employed guy. In fact, the hardest thing for a self-learning guy like me is to find an inspiration when I’m not in the mood. Because you have nothing to lose, so my mind easily tell me that I should relax, it cons me into choosing the most comfortable way. If you take a course, or work in a company, there’s a boundary of people, of your paid job, which is absent for a self-owned guy. So, always try to choose what limitations, and make it really damn MUST to do.

12. If you don’t drink, state that it’s your principle. And bring other values to the table. My weakness is I don’t talk much. And when in a table with all of guys drinking and having fun, I shut to myself. DON’T. Talk normally, funnily, then who care if I don’t drink. I have other values, which is much better than trying to be like them drinking.

[notabadgeek]

30 Days without Coffee

Hey, I've crossed my goal of going 30 days free of coffee, energy drinks, and any other beverage that contain caffein, the thing which I couldn't do for many years.

It's awesome, and I realize that without them, my life is still fine. I still get good results for work, or task and it's even better for my health.

Today, I got a can of Red Bull, and some coffee, feeling terrible again. Maybe, I should go getting rid of those stuff completely.

[notabadgeek]

My Book List of 2014

This is what I definitely finish this year If I know what to go with my life, and my career. Period. And I need more real life experience as well:

Getting things done - David Allen_READING.

Meditation - Marcus Aurelius.

Letters from a Stoic - Seneca.

Trust me I'm lying - Ryan Holiday_READING.

Content Rules - Ann Handley_DONE.

Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand.

The way of the superior man - David Deida_DONE.

The thoughts are ours - A Vietnamese book on copywriter.

Stillness speaks - Eckhart Tolle.

The lean Startup - Eric Ries.

The Autobiography of Malcolm X - Malcolm X.

The great Gatsby.

Sperm Wars - Robin Baker.

Being peace - Thich Nhat Hanh.

The power of less - Leo Barbauta.

So good they can't ignore you_DONE.

Mastery - George Leonard_DONE.

Mastery - Robert Greene_DONE.

The war of arts - Steven Pressfield 

Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind - Shunryu Suzuki.

48 laws of power - Robert Greene_DONE.

The 50th Law - Robert Greene_DONE.

How to read a book - Mortimer J. Adler_READING.

Man's search for meaning - Viktor E. Frankl_READING.

The Education of Millionaires - Michael Ellsberg_DONE.

33 Strategies of Wars - Robert Greene_READING.

Steal like an artist - Austin Kleon_DONE.

On Writing - Stephen King.

On Writting Well - William Zingsser.

The Art of Seduction - Robert Greene_DONE.

The Dip - Seth Godin_DONE.

The Art of War - Sun Tzu.

The Prince - Niccolo Machiavelli.

My Bondage and My Freedom - Frederick Douglass

Growth Hacker Marketing - Ryan Holiday_DONE.

11 Mins - Paulo Coelho_DONE

Headhunter Hiring Secrets - Freeman, Skip_DONE

Guerrilla Marketing for Jobs Hunters 3.0_DONE.

Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damndest Thing - Jed Mckenna.

The New Rules of Marketing & PR - David Meerman Scott_DONE.

22 Immutable Rules of Marketing_DONE.

Show The Work_Austin Kleon_DONE.

Writing Reviews for Readers' Advisory - Brad Hooper_DONE

Word of Mouth Marketing - Andy Sernovitz_DONE

Step by Step SEO - Matthew Davison_DONE.

Recession Proof Graduate - Charlie Hoehn +V is For Vulnerable -Seth Godin_DONE.

The Art of Non-Conformity - Chris Guillebeau_DONE.

Play it Away - Charlie Hoehn_DONE

The Richest Man in Babylon-Geogre S, Clason_DONE

The Millionaire Next Door - Thomas Standley_DONE

The Obstacle is the way - Ryan Holiday_DONE.

Anything You Want - Derek Sivers_DONE.

#GirlBoss - Sophia Amoruso_DONE.

4 Hours Work Week - Tim Ferris_DONE.

The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt -Edmund Morris_Reading_over 100 pages

The Ultimate Guide to Link Building - Eric Ward_DONE.

Delivering Happiness - Tony Hsieh_DONE.

Choose Yourself - Jame Altucher_DONE.

Talent is Overrated - DONE.

Facebook Marketing from A-Z -DONE.

The Talent Code - DONE.

The Little Book of Talent - Daniel Coyle - DONE

30 Days to a Better Man - Brett McKay - DONE

The Power of No - James Altucher - DONE.

Inbound Marketing & SEO - Rand Fishkin - DONE

Quiet - Susan Cain -DONE

Permission Marketing - Seth Godin - DONE

How to win at the sport of business - Mark Cuban -DONE

Models - Mark Manson - DONE.

No More Mr. Nice Guy - DONE. 

Rework - Jason Fried - DONE

The Art of SEO - DONE

How to Win Friends & Influence People - Dane Carnegie - DONE

How to Fail at Almost Everything and still Win Big - DONE

SEO Secrets - Danny Dover - DONE

I Will Teach You To Be Rich - Ramith Sethi - DONE

What I need I knew when I was 20 - Tina Seelig - DONE

Advanced Web Metrics with Google Analytics - DONE

Poor Charlie's Almanack - DONE

How to Talk to Anyone - Leil Lowndes - DONE.

Will add up more.

Progress: 55/80

[notabadgeek]

My Year in 2013

I am in a coffee shop, and the environment is so good.

So far so good, I have to say so. What a year!

I started 2013 with a new job after 2 months unemployed. I've had no intention of working for this company for long. Only 1-2 months, and I'll quit, but still I'm in the company now. Not a good company (terrible I have to say), but at least I have something that fills my depressed time jobless at home, and have self-studied a lot here.

Most of what I got this year are directly or indirectly via working in such a terrible company like that. It's funny.

This is what I've accomplished (or at least, I've improved myself).

- Thanks to Rsdnation, a pick up forum, but stuffs pivot around personal development I've learned tremendously. I've researched and known which way to go. I discovered the great books to read to base my life on, and find other good people who have the same mindset as me.

- Books I've read. Although, my eyes are super bad, and while struggling staying at work over 8 hours staring at the computer screen, I even couldn't read anything at home.

 Eckhart Tolle, I read the two great books of him via the recommendation from RSD: The Power of Now, The New Earth. The books are excellent, esp for someone who has no knowledge of spirituality stuff like me.

The Go Giver. A very short book, and the idea is great.

Ignore everybody, Steal like an artist. The two books are somewhat similar in the writing style.

The Alchemist. A must read book.

Likeable Social Media. A book on social media.

Growth Hacker Marketing. A very short book. But the content is good.       

2 books of Google Adwords. It's not a book actually, but it took me some times to read over 800 pages of them.

The Power of Habit. I didn't read the whole book, but the first part is enough for me.

It's so short. I should have read more.

- Learnt how to read. People read, I read. But after finishing a book, I almost forget everything about it. I didn't know how to read. Recently, and it's accidental I found a good stuff, and I've researched deeply about it to know how to read, how to take note, how to use the commonplace cares, how to use a GTD notebook. That's so great.

- Go out more. I've discovered the joy of working in a coffee shop, or somewhere outside my house, the environment is very great. Or go to the pagoda to pray or deepen, relax my mind. The things that I should have done during my depressed time when I was jobless.

- Learnt Photoshop. It's not easy, I have to say, but I've taken a course and studied for 2 months, together with working everyday at my company. At least I have to say that I can work well with Photoshop. Learning Adobe Illustrator is on my list now. Definitely study it this year.

- Learn to how to give up things. It's very accidental, and lucky for me to know how to control myself from my bad habits. For over 2 months. I've learnt to control myself from the bad habits of mb and coffee. They're not good for my health. And I known the power of discipline to over my addiction. I say it again. It's discipline, and burn the bridge mindset (you have no other choice but to give up them). Thanks to it, I've controlled myself, the things that I could not do for many years. Can't believe it.

- My health has improved. At least, my ears don't bother me like they used to. It's a good news. But it's not good, I know and I'm always trying to take care of it, and try to improve.

But there're many things that I've felt very bad, esp my jobs, my career. Until now, I still don't know what to do, and which way to go, and how to find a decent job with good pay. That's my supreme goal of this year. And there're list of great books I'll definitely read this year for sure. I definitely read at least 50 of them for sure.

[notabadgeek]

The Shawshank Redemption

After finishing the movie, I asked myself this question "How the hell have I seen such an awesome movie like that for so long?". It's weird since I always look for every kind of inspirational movie to watch, and I've watched lots of them, but how come I have not watched this movie until now?

I've downloaded the movie into my laptop for so long, and even has deleted, and downloaded again. I've played it a few times, but never have I watched it for more than 5' cause on the outside I saw that the movie is quite old, the plot was not suitable to me.I even read the plot on Wikipedia, and have found that now I knew the content, there's nothing special here, I shouldn't waste my time watching it.

But I'm wrong cause what lay out in the movie plot is very different from what you see in the real movie, the acting, the words, and the detailed movie are what you can see in a plot. 

I've felt much inspired now, I need to jot this down immediately cause I don't want my best feeling is long gone by leaving it for another time when I feel I need to (After writing this, I will go to Ngoc Hoang temple).

- Hope. That's the main theme of the movie. "Remember red, hope is a good thing, and no good things ever dies." It's the great words, when Red receives the letter from Andy. How come Andy has made it through escaping the prison by doing the thing that's impossible. That's because he doesn't think so. He keeps doing day by day planning to escape, even drill the wall that was very very thick for 20 years. Had he given up his hope, then he would not have seen the light.

- Perseverance. I've never seen such a man with extreme patience like Andy. How can he keeps drilling the wall for 20 years, but never said a word of despair to people around him. That's no use.  And how can he keeps writing for so many years just to beg fund for his library project? To me, perseverance is doing something that took so long to finish, or even impossible to do, he keeps doing this with patience, and although it's so long, but at least finally he achieved his dreams. 

- Know what to say. Andy's that smart. He chooses his words wisely, he doesn't talk much, and he never talks about something that's not useful, whining or complaining about things. That's no use. He keeps doing, and when he needs something, he just asks. 

- "Get busy living or get busy dying". Another theme of the movie. As the movies goes like that in prison, a man will do anything to keep his mind occupied. We can not let our time wasted, "busy dying" to me is doing nothing in your life, to live like you have been dead. Still there's thing you can do, and do it so that it can bring you the joy of living, doing the thing you love. It's "living busy".

I will save the movie, and will rewatch it when I need some motivation or at least know that I don't waste my time doing the wasted things, living a boring life.

[notabadgeek]

Adjust your desktop or laptop's screen brightness and contrast so that your eyes could work best.

Suddenly I realize this thing this afternoon. That's so great cause I know that, to me, it's gold and I can handle the work best, and my eyes can endure the best.

[notabadgeek]

To Give Up Something

Actually, I've not completely got rid of my bad habits of drinking coffee, and mb, but through the process of failing years, some weeks breaking promises, and 2 weeks following my plans strictly, I realize how to can overcome those long-rooted bad habits of me for years.

I've had that habit of drinking coffee, and mb for years. I've made lots of resolution myself, but fail terribly all the time.

Recently, I made a swear (not a promise any more) not to mb for some days. Unfortunately, I failed to keep it. And as a result of the swear (I know a swear is a must. It's a curse), the days after that, my life goes bad. I'm not superstitious, but a swear has it effect. So, don't play around with it. You have no options but to follow it.

2 weeks later until now, I kept my swear, and it's gone on a positive mood. And I'm surely believe that I am able to achieve the 2 weeks process now.

Once more thing to put, remember to take care of your environment. From my experience of 2 weeks, but I even didn't realize it for so many years, the problem of my masturbating is not to self-restrain myself from masturbating, but to stay away all kinds of Porn. Yes, that's the only causes. I'm addicted to Porn, not masturbating for years.

Hence, my approach to give up any bad habits is:

- Have an absolutely firm resolution. Make it so hard that you can not have any choice but to follow it (in my case. That's the swear. In fact, I really fear if I lose my swear).

- Find your only cause to your problem, if still you can not find it, surely you will not able to follow your plan short term, and long term.

- Get an environment clean, free of any kind of things that can trigger your bad habits.

[notabadgeek]

My Current Relationship

I've mentioned this thing a lot in my past post. Now my life is dependent on few friends who I know are not stable for me to stick with. I'm happy when I talk to, chatting with them and feel so bored without seeing online. Even worse, I even had hours, or even days available on yahoo messenger or Facebook just to find someone to talk to. If I'm lucky to find that bitch Thuy, or Dung to talk to. My boredom's gone, if not I'll so sad, and keep waiting.

WHAT THE HELL

The sad truth is that I've become so reliable on them, I've attach my happiness or sorrow to them. While they're not near me, and even worse, when I need them, I can't find them (in the case of that bitch Thuy). And even when I chatted with her on ym, it's not the same in the past, she kept doing her work, and keeping me waiting, and feeling in a terrible mood. My day is just as usual, I have work in the daytime (which is still not interesting), and at night I go home, waiting for someone to talk to. I've tried to read books, or do something to benefit myself, but my eyes are very bad, and I know my limit. I can play games, but I'll get rid of this habit cause it does nothing to help me in the long run. Just a reason to kill the time, to keep myself from thinking profusely. I can still call Mom everyday, but the long distant call does not help me that much. I really need someone near me whenever I have so many trouble like these days.

So, THE PROBLEM is:

- I attach my state of feeling, happiness or sorrow to some friends (Thuy, Dung, and some other girls).

- My eyes are bad, and I don't want to read too much, or to look at the computer for so long. It can even affect my following day.

- My roomates are terrible. Never have I lived in a room that I even don't have a word with them for a whole week. Think abt this if you live with someone's suitable to you. That's so great. I even can help you in terms of emotion, feeling, health, and etc.

What's THE SOLUTION:

- Find some other best friends, someone who can understand you, or can help you. And definitely, I will never refuse to help them should they be in trouble. Focus on networking now. In the long term, it would help you spontaneously. I need to think, to search for, and to act. For now, stop interacting too much with the friends you are hooking for (Thuy, Dung). I've turned myself so desperately. Once/week is enough. Period.

I'll not go Yahoo anymore. If she needs me, she has to contact me via fb, or message (That bitch Thuy), I do not go Yahoo just to see her, to wait for her (cause noone uses Ym now), or do not need to chat with her, and waiting her to do her work, and waiting her replay. Okay. Period. I'll delete my Ym permanently. For that bitch Dung, once again, don't talk to her that much any more. 1-2 times/week is enough. I need to extend my relationship. I need to find some new good friends now. Once again, You'll feel bad not talking to them in the first place, but over time you'll get used to it. And why not spend that time thinking, and searching other amazing friends. Huh? You really need to spend time on this matter H.

- When eyes are so bad. Take a walk, meditating, calling Mom, watch a movie. Plan now H. Spend some time for it.

- Think about moving. That room is not good, not suitable for me any more. I need to find somewhere else to live, where I can be btter. You worry too much, son. That's not good. Take a change and see it, and even it's a regret, dont' dwell on it. There's still opportunity there.

[notabadgeek]

Get out of the boredom Prison

Never have I felt lonely and bored as I am now. 

Usually my day was spent like this. Daytime: Go to work, try to do something to kill the time because mostly I don't find anything interesting at work. Everything does not trigger my eagerness for work. Another reason is that my eyes are so bad. If I try to read much at work, I know that I will not even read anything when I get home. That's so so terrible.

NIght: I am at home. And once again, alone, I live with other 5 guys, but one ironic thing is that I don't talk even a single word with them. I still don't know what to talk. Hence, usually I just try to go online on Facebook, trying to find any friends to talk to to kill the boredom. In fact, there's lots of great thing I could do not to be so bored such as playing guitar, or reading books. However, I know that my hands are not in an excellent condition like I was used to practice long while my eyes easily get tired after some mins reading.  So I go fro and to between online on Facebook to find someone to talk to, sneaking to every my fb's friends, try to read sth, to watch some movies, or playing games. That's agonizing.

I remember in the past when I lived with my friends, I occasionally talk to them, so don't feel much bored, and I had some great friends to talk to such as Khoa, Thuy. But they're long gone now, and even don't exist. I've tried to talk to them like I used to do, but they are not the same. People changed while I didn't change. No, I change to a bad situation.

My problems now are that my life is so bored, and I've depended on unstable factors to get me interested: some friends who I know they would change, or was hooked to something which turned out do worse than better (playing guitar, harmonica...).

How do I solve the situation now. I sigh. That's so hard. The answer is I have to find stable factors, or a very stable relationship so that I will not like I am now.  Be careful when you depend on someone to be happy. Don't fall into the depressed hole like I am now. I have relied on some unsteady relationship and now I've become so bad.

I need to think and give my answer now.

[notabadgeek]

A few years ago, American Way magazine carried a fascinating interview with best-selling novelist David Baldacci. Baldacci is the author of the immensely successful novels Absolute Power, Total Control and The Winner. Millions of copies of his books have been sold. Let me assure you, however, that Baldacci was no overnight success. His accomplishments and financial achievements were the result of his total commitment to developing his talents as a writer. Like me, Baldacci started out as a lawyer. He started law school in 1983 and didn’t give any thought to becoming a best-selling novelist. He simply enjoyed writing. Yet, at the outset, Baldacci knew that he didn’t have the necessary writing skills. So he made a commitment, as he put it, to learn the craft of writing. For the first five years, he didn’t finish any of his projects. Every day, he just worked on characters, plot development and other writing basics. At the time, he was a practicing lawyer, and he and his wife had two young children. When did he find the time to do this writing? Baldacci worked on his writing every night from 10:00 pm until 2:00 am. Now, that’s a commitment to do whatever it takes! He pointed out, however, that he had fun writing —it wasn’t a chore. By the way, I’m not suggesting that you stay up all night to pursue your goals —that 10:00 pm to 2:00 am shift certainly wouldn’t work for me, and it may not work for you, either! After 10 years of writing, Baldacci had completed some short stories and a few screenplays. His total sales: ZERO. All that he had to show for his efforts were a lot of rejections from editors. In 1996, all of Baldacci’s efforts paid off... big time! He received millions of dollars for the literary and movie rights to his blockbuster thriller Absolute Power. The star of the movie was Clint Eastwood. Such is the power of a person who is committed

"It doesn't matter how slow you go as long as you don't stop."

And suddenly, I realize that why not follow a career as a writer. It's suitable for my health condition, it can earn money, and it's one of my interests.

Some jobs for people with excellent writing skills:

http://blog.freelancer.com/grow-your-business/top-writing-skills-on-freelancer-com/

[notabadgeek]

About Myself

There's a contradiction in my personality between the present me and the wonderful me.

The real me is a guy who pretend to be cold-hearted, silent, never smile. He always show people that he is a man who doesn't care about anything, even people, but really smartly let them know indirectly that I do care, I am a nice guy who have a warm heart. In fact, this me is decided by my childhood years living at home absolutely introvertly with my family, and from all the manga I read, esp the Adachi Mitsuru series. Now I deeply know that it is not helpful to be a social person with that character, with that attitude.

The wonderful me. I really want to be a social guy, a Mr. Networker. I possess some good abilities of a social guy, namely having a sense of humor (now I store a good source of funny stuff which I know no one would have that), I am smart, I have a lot of awesome skills (Guitar, harmonica, Photoshop English writing, personal development knowledge,...).

Now, I know it is very important to consider, and to think what character I should improve and what should be eliminated from my "me". It's not be yourself. It's being the best self, which will helps you the most in the long run, and even cures your life for sure. 

[notabadgeek]

1st Day of November

This may sound funny to someone, but it does give a reflection how everyone choose and act in their course of your life.

This morning, on my way to work, because I was late, I had to force myself to drive very fast to make it in time. However, unfortunately, there's a heavy traffic jam.

And from my look, if I follow the main road of the street, I will still be struck in it, and will be kept for more time, while if I drive on the pavement, it would be faster.

Hence, I chose the second option. Consequently, I saved myself at least some minutes (which was very valuable to me cause if I was late for even 3 mins at work, I would be reprimanded.

This reminded me of a career choice everyone can make for themselves.

Will they choose the normal path that everyone can follow (or because they are too lazy to change, to go along other potential road)?

Or will they choose different path, which is a little challenging, but surely help them get to the goal faster than at least 90% people?

And I ask myself the question: will I try to figure any other ways increase my career ladder in a spontaneous way, a way that I know would be suitable for my health, my aptitude, and my financial goal.

Ganbare H.