Boys, Boots, Bands & Beer

my parents blew it on day one by not naming me Christmas Carroll and everything after that I blame on that fact.

[abduction]

[animated-disney-gifs]

[officialwhitegirls]

[santas-clauze]

[santas-clauze]

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via xmudxcrabx)

[worm-ghoul]

*holds my newborn child with my deluxe yoda hands*

[morelifealways-deactivated20240]

the idea of coming home to the love of your life is so soothing and nice I can’t wait to look forward to that

[neutraldankhotel]

you: *eats 100 ears of corn in two hours* I am the corn king! I cannot be outcorned

me: *eats 101 ears of corn in ten minutes* just another day in the corn fields

[10inchflaccid-deactivated201701]

what?

[neutraldankhotel]

I don’t know. i woke up at 6am, wrote this, and went back to sleep

[10inchflaccid-deactivated201701]

hope youre okay

[tinderofficial]

straight white boys are so interesting to watch they literally be talking to their best guys friends like “haha! man we are so close you could fuck me in the ass and I wouldn’t even care you would probably fuck me so good man and make me arch my back haah!” but like as soon as there is an innuendo that is barely close to sexual they’re like nO HOMO NO NO NOOO HOMO NO HOMO I AM NOT A HOMO NO HOMO MAN HAHA !

[notclever-enough-blog]

Guy: girls are so dramatic

Guy, the second a girl doesn't want to sleep with him: you stupid fucking bitch, you dumb slut, you're fat and ugly and you deserve to be raped cause that's the only way you're going to get laid because you're such a bitchy cow

Guy: so yeah, bitches be crazy ;)haha

[hashtagloveloses]

SHE DIDN’T JUST WIN SHE FUCKING DRAGGED EVERYONE ELSE THROUGH THE MUD

[do9]

[aguacatewhisperer-deactivated20]

This is so funny omfg

[help-mywife]

help, my wife’s eyes light up whenever she talks about something she loves and i as a mere mortal cannot handle the pure love radiating from her

[laskyjedneplavovlasky]

hey whats up everyone, hows yr summer, what heartbreaking truths has everyone been coming to terms with lately

[chessys]

i want 2 be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i dont Do anything

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

facebook article: you’ll never want to drink this name brand soda again after you see what happens when it mixes with LAVA