Sober Daze

day by day, staying sober, writing through it, and finding solice in words without a bottle.

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Day 1 again

Struggling to keep my shit together this time. Wtf.

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Day 4

This one sucks. My stomach is killing me. Sober.

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Day 3

Got a call at 4:00 am that a family member went ballistic in a drunk rage. They got arrested. House got ruined. Relationships got destroyed. All too late to stop this train. I will stay true to myself. Sober today. I hate this toxic pull. I don’t understand it. Why do we do this. I’m sad for all the folks who have a problem in and out of the rooms. I am grateful to know my place - it’s time to stay true. Time To help others. None of this woah is me shit. I’m sober today. Today I am fine.

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10/13/19

2 days today... headed out to brunch to celebrate my birthday today... (my birthday is this month, and I celebrate a lot) - 

coffee and seltzer it is. 

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10/12/19

Day 1. Hello old friends. It’s been a while.

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9/13/16

3 days sober. No comment needed. I have no regrets, only learned journeys.

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9/6/16

22 days sober

yup.... 

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9/5/16

3 day weekend.. bbq.. serving drinks.. drinking coffee.. staying true to what I need.

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9/2/16

18 days

I would have 3 years and 7 month sobriety today if I didn’t decide to have a sip of champagne at a wedding last summer.

I had a moment where that pissed me off... why did I give up such a strong commitment after over 2.5 years.... 

But now I realize that I needed that lesson.  This lesson.  

18 days.... crushing sobriety.

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9/1/16

17 days sober

it’s funny how I welcome people’s encouragement on my blog, but I find myself reacting negatively to people who tell me what to do... like ‘you need to do xyz to stay sober... ‘

I didn’t really ask for that information ... did I?

I’ve learned that everyone is different... the rooms work for some people, but not others... moderation works for some people, but not others... cold turkey works for some people but not others... 

keep on your path.. we live in an amazing world where we have this thing called the internet... and I welcome the sober family I have found to help support and guide me... I’m here to help you too.

How is today going for everyone?

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8/31/16

16 days sober

Suffice it to say i’ve been down this road before... and suffice it to say that I’ve crashed on this road before, and suffice it to say, that no matter what I write here, I still feel this urge to say fuck you to the world of people who tell me I’m crazy for thinking I’m an alcoholic.. and to hear (just don’t worry about it) one more time, I’m going to go postal.

But not really... 

I feel like I get it... the whole sobriety thing... it’s leveled up my life... while I didn’t hit rock bottom (again) - or have any sort of incident... that would cause me to get sober again... I feel this spiritual tug.  This need to get rid of the haze, of the drinking cloud overhead... I want to connect with people who have no glaucoma over their third eye so to speak.

I live each day with gratitude.  I work with diligence, and I work to be kind to everyone.  I meet stressed out family with hugs... and support.. and all I hear about how hard life is... and I am belittled for trying to explain that the negative stuff is all in their head. 

I am ranting a bit (fully aware)

I struggle that the loved ones in my life struggle... but they don’t even know they are struggling... all they see is the bad... all they play is the victim... i can’t help wonder what would happen if they put down that half bottle of wine most nights.... 

Sobriety gives me the power to proudly raise my middle finger to all the negative BS that surrounds me.... my third eye is clear as fuck.

I’m grateful to write this.. to reset my day... In the past.. I was just looking for a chemical solution for a spiritual problem.... now I’m just looking for people who understand.

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8/29/16

2 weeks today... 14 days sober... diggin it.. my head is clear, and my actions are with purpose, and I don’t have time for any petty BS in my life... let’s go.

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8/27/16

12 days sober. Got this

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8/25/16

heading for a camping weekend tomorrow.  planning on stocking up a cooler with Kombucha, Cold Brew Coffee, and some seltzer... maybe bringing along a nice cigar... a traditional camping trip consists of a lot of drinking for me... not going there this time... too much life to experience.. 

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8/24/16

9 days sober

I may be back writing more on this blog... the pull --- alcohol has a pull on me... every sip becomes a small withdrawal from an ATM.... with interest.  I’ve noticed a strong correlation to feeling a slight bit down the day after I have a drink... even if it’s one drink.  Lately..  I miss sobriety... it feels like something I need. 9 days in... no promises.. to myself or others... just a heading to point to on this compass... thanks for letting me talk about my journey.. thanks for reading.

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3/17/16

St patty’s day. Hung out a a pub with the family. Drank seltzer. Feeling great. Feeling loved. Feeling sober and happy.

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3/12/16

I will say that I’ve had a drink or 3 since deciding to last july... I will say that they come with heavy overhead.... the emotional toll... and while I think I could live a life with a champaign toast here or there, it’s funny how the more opportunities I have to drink.. the more encouragement I get from family... (as in, you don’t have a problem.. go ahead) - the more I know that it’s not part of the life I want to live... it’s not for me.  I’m writing because I needed a place to go.. a place to tell my story... While I no longer live for sobriety day to day.... I live for a sober life.  I no longer need to fight the urge hour by hour.... or day by day... but week by week there is emotional investment in keeping on the right path.

I spend my days filling my days with good things... there is no need to fake happiness with booze if the happiness is real.

Thanks for reading.