Will write: anything except smut bc i dunno how to write that (and yes im a uni student exams are kicking my ass and i dont proofread for shyt) (no beta reads we die like grandpa in sdv.)
Inbox open!! (chat i dont bite please i want to yap 🙏🏻🙏🏻) the fandoms im in
PLEASE READ -> my stance on bear and the movie (in more detail), my stance on bear pt. 2
(ts rlly lazy ik leave me alone.)
Masterlist-
"One last wish" - Bear (Baron) Bailey x GN!toxic!reader. Pt.1 ONGOING (hiatus)
"Hold me, Kiss me" - Nikki Freeman x Gn!reader (one-shot)
it probably was kinda a surprise to js see that but ive been on a purge as of late and i dont really want people to misunderstand me again BUT i can assure you guys i'll try to at least get one final bear fic (probs a pt. 2 to the og bear fic). Its mainly js bc i dont want other people to think im a weirdo who believes bear is an innocent baby who did nothing wrong and its all nikki's fault🥺🥺 but also i js wanna work on other fandoms rn
ALTHOUGH if you guy really want more i moght go back and write more fics about him later on just not as of right now‼️‼️
PLSPLSPPS MORE MEAN SCHLATT PLEASESEEESESEDSEEDEDDE
meanest (not really) BIG GUY Hcs
since anon asked for more, i will be giving more😝
MDNI
Cw: nsfw, manipulation tactics fr, some breeding kink and housewife kink like i promised. Not that smutty, just a dash
lore filled hcs, since i kind of want to start writing more of this than the sappy stuff.
Jschlatt x reader
Dividers by: @v6que
Nsfw below the cut
Fiancé life definitely was a hell of a ride, for the good and the bad.
The good:
“Way too tired, jay”
trying to deny him of his late night loving.
Since the engagement, there definitely was a noticeable difference in schlatt. He became more lenient on his rules, became more affectionate, and became more needy.
”Don’t you wanna give your future husband some affection right now?”
”don’t wanna start thinking your dumb little brain started forgetting who’s the boss here.”
He rolled you over, facing him hunching down on you.
”you want my loving right now? Or you just wanna fuck me senseless?”
Looking up at him with a smirk creeping on your face.
”you might’ve start looking at me as a sex-crazed man, toots, but i do need some loving time to time too.”
kissing you up and down your neck.
“i love you, babe.”
”i love you with everything that i have and am, toots.”
The bad (not really):
Schlatt definitely became more boastful to say the least.
He became a wife-guy way too fast.
”you know hasan, you’re pushing forty, you might need to start settling down.”
J and Hasan decided to revive the “Did schlatt win” channel with the argument of
is being taken or single better. We obviously knew which sides they take.
”be a man like me, damn i got my wife he-“
”y’all are not even married bro, stop calling her “my wife”.”
”you know what, hasan? We’ll get there and im sure of it.”
For some reason, they got loss in the sauce bantering.
”fuck, im living my best life here. My wife just cooked me up the best alfredo pasta i’ve ever tasted in my goddamn life.”
Panning the camera on his plate of food.
”if you were taken, has, you’d be in cloud nine like me, too.”
”what’s your next step in life now? You gonna make one of the most successful streamer of the platform a trad wife?”
”what? Have her start popping babies? Definitely.”
Despite being almost just a year in to the relationship, schlatt knew that he wanted to end the year with a wedding band on his finger. He wanted to get married to you NOW.
“Babe, i already told you, we can’t do the wedding in november. We’ve already tried crunching up all our scheds, it won’t work.”
”toots, we’re so fucking rich! We could afford to move the contracts a bit farther.” Trying to reason you into submission.
”you really want us to spend more money than what we had already paid for? that be so much!”
“if it means i get to be your husband faster, then so be it, babydoll. The rich only gets richer, baby.”
Schlatt made sure that the wedding would stick to every attendees mind till the end of time. He spent so much making it lavish, something that would be a standard to someone’s dream wedding someday, invited so much people to witness what greatness truly is, and to show to hasan, that he had won.
The party was ecstatic, you found schlatt’s arms wrapped around you possessively throughout the night. It was mostly filled with thanking everyone who attended, and of course, more boasting from the new yorker (starting to feel like a trophy wife fr) (poor hasan).
Schlatt was probably never the smartest person in the room most the time, but he isn’t fucking dumb.
trying to get you wrapped around the idea of you dating him wasn’t hard, it was the keeping people away from you that really took his energy and hard-work. Most especially, Hasan piker.
Schlatt concealed his genuine hatred in hasan in a way that people knows him to be best at. Being a motherfucking struggle.
When hasan found out that you took immediate interest in schlatt, he immediately started bubbling your little head of doubts.
As a good friend and co-host of the fear& podcast, you took it lightly, and Hasan didn’t found comfort in that.
recap:
”A little birdie told me that one of our co-host is trying to get a little go on a relationship.”
Blaire said, eyes and smile hinting chaos.
“hasan or y/n, which one of you stops being the thirdwheel?”
Will looked at the two of you inquisitively, hiding his laughter behind.
“seriously, fuck you, qt!”
Cursing blaire before bursting out of laughter.
“it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, though.”
hasan speaked up, so nonchalantly.
“i know you’re not about to shit on my parade right now, come on dude.”
replying to hasan.
“IM JUST SAYING” putting his hands up in defense “guy’s reputation is fucked.”
“y/n literally about to enter her lover era and then here comes hasan, spitting and shitting in her parade.”
Austin, Will, Blaire, and Marche all laughing incredulously.
while you stare at hasan’s eye, wanting to kill him right then and there, mouth agape.
“It’s all in the name of being your good friend, i swear, i know this guy alot, dumped a lotta girls before you-“
“One ended in a scandal”
Austin cutting him off, all while they’re still losing their heads laughing.
“Is this episode titled “shit on y/n day”, i haven’t even entered my lover girl era yet!”
anger disguised as laughter filled your throat.
oh, best believe you weren’t the only one fuming.
He wasn’t an einstein smart, but he could see through the facade hasan had put up.
for fuckssake, hasan felt like everything he had worked for in building up the bond with you cracked when schlatt just so happens to destructively appear in your life.
It was real genuine concern, he didn’t want you to end up getting hurt, but he also didn’t want to lose you. Schlatt was just about to do that for him.
he threw a vase at the tv.
“That motherfucking hasan.” “Fucking sabotaging me and shit.”
”he’ll fucking get what’s coming to him.”
”he destroys my image to you, i’ll destroy his image to you.”
pointing at your face through the broken tv.
Schlatt got onto his connections, ordering them to dig up bones stored away in his closet. Bones that you didn’t bother to know, or you just never really had the awareness of existing. Payed big bucks for a renowned journalist and a credible enough publishing site.
“Hasan Piker’s seedy, sex-obsessed life.”
you read through the screen of your phone.
You really thought he was a decent man, at least.
You felt sicker and sicker in your stomach, reading through the article.
You thought that schlatt was just exaggerating about how bad the article was, asking if you had read it, and if hasan knows about it.
Bad, you knew he was this playboy, fratboy motherfucker under his feminist face, but all of this, was fucking bad.
The fear& crew gathered around the table to discuss damage control, maybe he could excuse himself that he’s to attend another election campaign, or to do a debate overseas.
Maybe he could brush it off and say that the opposite side is just trying to stain his reputation, deeming his campaigning useless for the man that he is.
He couldn’t bring himself to give a fuck what the public thinks of him.
He had faced so much fake accusations that he had started to subtlety sweep the real ones with it too, and while he knows the public will believe it's just another way to for haters to try and tank his reputation, you believed the article, and that's what had hit him the most.
The silence radiated by everyone on the room had long gone confirmed the article.
They know, and they couldn't give a fuck.
Business as usual.
You now, left wandering if hasan truly meant that he ever cared for you and all the conversations shared with eachother.
“I wanna say sorry, you shouldn't have had to read that.”
“i know hasan, and it's so fucking bad!”
“i've changed, y/n.”
“I know, but you hiding who you are and lying about it just brings you back to the person you've "supposedly" changed.”
“i can't fucking believe you, hasan.”
Staring at him, trying to not show anything, but the disappointment was so evident, it's like the sky got colored with the most putrid shade of green.
While hasan's stressed out on the how to atleast save the friendship.
Schlatt was smiling ear to ear as you reported the chaos that had ensued in the fear& house.
“i just wasn’t expecting that from him, im not angry or anything, that’s not my place to be. Im just so disappointed.”
leaning on his kitchen counter
you knew your place, not in hasan’s business. God, you really are his girl.
“especially after what he said about you on the pod.”
Starting to slouch, nursing a bottle of wine, taking a few swigs after each few minutes.
“Well, you know, doll. Those kind of people like hasan just like to project. They present themselves as confident men to forget things they’re insecure of.” Like him. Looming towards your back, massaging your tense, tired shoulders.
“i don’t know, schlatt.” “Made me want to trust people less.”
”what about your trust on me, toots?”
”you know you’d never lost that.”
Back to the present:
He doesn’t know where you’ve wandered, probably checking up on your bridesmaids.
He’s decided that there is no better company than hasan himself.
“congratulations on the wedding, man.”
”really gave it your all, huh?”
leaning towards him, voice laced with mockery.
Of course, they’ve pretended to be all civil around you or things you’re aware of.
Something about egotistical men is, they never forget.
“She really wanted these florals, you know. Spent almost 100 grant in these.”
“Laying the boasting thick today, huh?”
”Only want the best for the wife. My Wife.”
Honeymoon was where it started. Schlatt began leaving so much hints, you’d be a dumb tea towel if you don't know what he’s referring to.
“Look at that little dude, love.”
“Who?”
”the little boy wearing that baseball fit, quite nice, toots.”
Who could’ve guessed it, the honeymoon was at japan. Somehow landing through the middle of a march of pre-schoolers on their
“what do you want to be” walk.
”imagined one of those kids were ours, would be so sweet, toots.”
”oh yeah?” Looking smugly over him
”i’ve been imagining what our kids will look like, babe, what do ya think?”
”hmm?”
”how about we find out.”
He fucked you raw and hard and started spouting domestic thoughts on your ears.
don’t get me started on the babies he saw in the street.
”that would be so nice.”
”what would be nice?” Interrupting your husband’s daydreaming.
”imagine our next trip here next year toots.”
”like what.”
”we’d be carrying our little love here, too.”
”you really couldn’t wait for it huh, bub?”
”hmm.”
Wrapping his arms on your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder, gently swinging you to the tune of the nearby shop.
Schlatt didn’t bother take any more longer in getting in the work into building his family, right after coming home, he went right on business.
“you fucking want this huh?”
”getting pounded all over the house.”
”you’d give me the most beautiful babies huh, toots?”
”yes, daddy.”
”wanna give you so many babies.”
When you both found out about the pregnancy, just a month into the marriage, he couldn’t be more proud. He started dreaming the amount of kids you’d bear and how the silent house will soon turn into a madhouse.
“How many kids you think we’ll have, toots?”
staring at the ceiling, just after receiving the news.
He couldn’t help but overthink the future. What if you didn’t want the same things as him? What if you regret everything? What if you didn’t want this family? What if you just up and leave him for different man?
“earth to you, babe.”
”huh, what?”
”i asked you about why you’re asking, babe.”
”just been on my head for the past hour, love.”
”i think i want 5 kids.”
”really?” Bewildered by your answer.
”but realistically, maybe only 3 babe.”
”never told me you wanted to have a big family, toots.”
”wouldn’t the house just be more fun if our clones are running around.”
”well, hold on don't make me sound like im Dr. Evil now, toots.”
Schlatt didn’t intend to keep the pregnancy a secret, so as soon as you got the “go” signal from the doctors that your pregnancy is stable, he had already started showing you off and calling himself a “family man”.
Annoucing the pregnancy was definitely one of the hard parts of the pregnancy for you. It was the complete opposite for J.
The pregnancy was leaked by an employee long fired ago, thankful that the pressure of keeping it a secret is gone but hating that the mundanity of the situation is fleeting.
“What about it.”
first day back on streaming and j is already being annoyed by the donos, inquiring for more information about the pregnancy.
“all i can say according to my missus is that yes, it’s true.”
”y’all better believe me when i say you should start hearing that news from use each year.”
”can never let a family man like me have just one kid, plus, the wife needs some kids to occupy her time.”
When the little guy came, it really change his perspective in life. The domestic life he used to egg you on as flirting is now his reality.
The loud cries of your son brought relief to your hazed mind.
”hi baby.”
The baby seemingly knowing that’s mom, started to calm his crying.
For schlatt, looking over you and the baby, relief wasn’t what he felt, change is what he felt. A hundred thoughts running through his mind. He felt softer, felt more loving and sappy, he felt so sure of something. That of which is the life you created and will continue to create in the future. He felt home.
“Hello, my boy.”
Leaning bedside, softly speaking to the baby, pecking mama on her lips and baby on his head.
“My sweet boy, you look just like daddy.”
cradling your newborn to your chest, trying to calm the infant.
Schlatt sat there amazed on the scene unfolding before him.
Hours passed. Schlatt still couldn’t believe it’s true. He couldn’t help but watch as his wife swayed their son to sleep. He has yet to touch Jude, afraid of taking care of something as precious as his son.
“Daddy, you think you can hold jude now?”
whispering through the dimly lit room.
“Don’t know baby, but i wanna try.”
Shedding the layers of his clothes, now reaching for the baby.
Bringing the baby up his chest, he felt the warmth spreading through his whole body. His little bud started to stir and fuss over the new feeling.
“You’re just a fussy little baby, huh? Be nice to daddy, it’s his first time holding you.” Cooing softly at the newborn, staying by your husband’s side.
“Nah, i think he’s just like his old man.”
”mhm?”
”we both never want to be separated from you.”
“you’re getting in your sappy now huh.”
Poking fun at your husband.
”just wanna be a great husband and father, toots. Every man’s dream, really.”
Sorry for being inactive, babes. I’ve been so sick this past few days and i’ve just slowly started feeling better.
Please suggest more fics idea since im running out. Im going to be updating my schlatt fic every Thursday from now on, while the ted fic while probably follow up after that.
mirren community, is it just me or is it like his two routes are both for like two different areas of existance? incoming yap
like hear me out (SPOILERS UNDA THE CUT)
Obsession route- this is his like default, i get it, we love it. But i fear thats like the ONLY one you can enjoy in fiction since he affects every part of your life, esp your relations. Even though i love this man, i might think of also getting a restraining order.
Therapy route- now this. This i thinks can be the only one that can be like done in real life since it's the more viable option in a way? Like yes, a yandere bf is fun, but it's not healthy nor can it last a long time. So having him go to therapy and get his feelings out and it not heavily affecting your relationships, platonic and familial, is i think the only one that should be done in real life. Also the fact that we sent the letter in this route pmo so bad, im not saying it was bad, it was done so well and beautifully, i just hate that we even did that. Why couldn't we idk like sent her a letter of our own being like "hey mirren's not that insane anymore, i married him so huzzah! hope blablablablah." Also sarah didnt even need to come to the valley to confront him?? Just send him a letter back i fear that wouldve been less drama or wtvr.
im the person who requested percy jackson!reader x the housewardens mb for not clarifying on my ask, I meant I wanted a reader who has traits and powers similar to percy and for it to be formatted like hcs and just all of the housewardens no other characters
"Persassy??"
Author's Note: Im so sorry i cant do all the housewardens out of fear i'll butcher and mischaracterize them so uh here's Riddle, Azul, and Malleus.... I'm sorry it took this long
𝙍𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙡𝙚 𝙍𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙨
𝙋𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙨/𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮:
ღ when he first found out, he was surprised so to speak
ღ He's curious about your powers seeing that they dont come from the pen-wand-thing
ღ but just because he's gotten more chill with ruling, don't think you're escaping punishment if you mess up
ღ He does just wish for you to be safe and he still does think that following the rules is how you stay safe.
ღ He'll most def make new rules to include your powers. You are nawt an exemption.
ღ while he might find your sassy remarks amusing, most of the time he wont.
ღ He also comes to realize your loyalty towards your friends, especially when he overblotted. He finds it very admirable.
𝘼𝙯𝙪𝙡 𝘼𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙤
𝙥𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙨/𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮:
𖦹 He found out abt your powers when you first went into octanaville and you didn't need a potion to breathe underwater???
𖦹 to say he was baffled was an understatement.
𖦹 He did try to immediately recruit you into his cause with a damn contract, it didn't work.
𖦹 much to his dismay, he had to realize that you are too loyal to your friends. Which is a challenge for him.
𖦹 when he finally gained the title of being your friend, he still tried to recruit you.
𖦹 But he does find it refreshing to have a good friend who understands that feeling for the sea like he has.
𖦹 He listens to your stories, and does laugh at your remarks to things. He wants to learn how to clap back like that.
𝙈𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙪𝙨 𝘿𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙖
𝙋𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙨/𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮:
ꔛ Now finally, hornton.. Okay. He's already intrigued by your lack of fear towards him.
ꔛ now adding that to the fact that you have powers? Oh he's INTERESTED in you now.
ꔛ He'll sit with you as you tell your stories about camp, your powers, your homelife, etc.
ꔛ He does interrupt to ask some of your more.. Tasteful remarks.
ꔛ He finds your sass very very entertaining. He'll probably like belly laugh more than he's done before with all your witty remarks.
ꔛ He's probably the best and worst guy to talk to about everything, like he's the best listener no doubt but it's like hard to put words how your experiences were.
A/N: Cooked this up rq so it probably sucks, but I hope you enjoy it! Please like, repost, and follow if you’d like to see more like this!
Word count: 1.2k
Warnings: Not an ounce of proof-reading, Mentions of killers and wounds (not much), fluff
Summary: Hard launching to the team by accident. You wear his hoodie on the jet plane back after an exhausting mission, and everyone notices.
After a long case that managed to drag out for an entire week, the team was finally returning to their home, Quantico. The case of a serial killer targeting teenage girls. A 15-year-old girl was kidnapped, and the team raced against the clock to find her.
It was a hard case for you; you saw yourself in her. She was involved in the same things you were in high school. She was a good kid who went through a lot, and you knew all what that was like.
You barely slept the whole case, constantly brewing new coffee to stay awake. If you did get any sleep, it was because you slipped into consciousness while working in the police station.
You’d eventually wake up on the office couch with a blanket draped over you. You obviously knew exactly who was taking care of you, but for the sake of HR and your job, you had to feign ignorance.
No one could know about you and Reid.
You loved him, you truly did. He was everything a woman could ask for. Between his nerdy facts and his cute face, you were down horrifically.
No matter how much you loved him, you knew that as a female agent, you would never receive respect if you were dating a male coworker. People would assume you slept your way into your position. They would overlook the countless hours and dedication you put into your job.
You weren’t willing to sacrifice that, so you and Reid came to a mutual decision to keep your relationship a secret.
It was hard, but it was important. You couldn’t risk your relationship distracting you or getting in the way of your job.
Eventually, after grueling 16-hour days working to find her, Penelope managed to find where he was hiding her. The girl narrowly survived, with deep gashes and cuts from the killer's relentless torture.
You knew this case would haunt you. It wasn’t abnormal for you to have nightmares about the worst ones. They wouldn’t go away, but after time they became manageable. The insomnia wasn’t so bad anyway; you actually managed to get stuff done during the night.
The times when you were able to fall asleep were few and far between.
Hotch noticed— hell, the whole team did— but the BAU isn’t exactly known for its compliance. There wasn’t anything they could do except encourage you to sleep. You wouldn’t listen; it’s not like you could control the nightmares, they just came to you.
Soon enough, the team was boarding the jet and setting off for home.
One by one, the team shoved their bags underneath the plane into the storage compartment. Morgan, ever the gentleman, usually took the women’s bags for them and tossed them along with the others.
Each member boarded the plane, walking up the steep steps of the plane stairs. Inside, Hotch looked around.
“Where’s Y/n?”
The team really hadn’t noticed you were missing. Not because they didn’t care, but because they were so exhausted they could barely keep their eyes open.
Except Reid, of course. He was extremely aware you weren’t on the plane, but he feared that if he was the only one to bring up your disappearance, it would look suspicious. He knew Hotch would notice eventually, so he stayed quiet.
The team glanced around the room, looking for you before deciding you were absent from the plane.
“Huh.. That’s unusual. She’s always early”, Morgan stated. He reached into his back pocket where his phone rested, pressing each number until he was ready to dial your cell phone.
Just as he was pressing the last number, the stairs thumped frantically.
Hotch grabbed his gun on his belt, not drawing it, but ready in the case of an emergency.
But it wasn’t an emergency; it was you. Your hair was a mess, and your makeup from yesterday smudged on your face. You wore fluffy pajama pants, slippers, and a large oversized drawstring hoodie.
The team glanced over you. You looked horrid, but that wasn’t what they were concerned with. They weren’t looking at your slippers, or your bright pink Hello Kitty pajama pants, or even your extremely messy hair. They were focused on your hoodie, the one they were all too familiar with. It didn’t belong to you. It belonged to Dr.Spencer Reid.
Emily’s mouth dropped open, immediately panning to Spencer, who wore a pink blush on his face, before turning to JJ and Morgan, who were both looking at each other already. Hotch and Rossi glanced at each other, with a smile on Rossi’s face while Hotch wore his same old stone-cold face.
You were confused as to why JJ, Emily, and Morgan were giggling. Even more so, why Rossi was smiling at your appearance. You knew you looked a mess, but you didn’t look that bad.
JJ turned back to face Rossi, “So how many weeks is it?”
“10 weeks,” He replied, still wearing his smile.
“Dammit,” Morgan and Emily said in unison while reaching into their pockets for their wallets.
“I really thought I had this one,” Morgan muttered while pulling out a crisp $100 bill and handing it back to Rossi, Emily doing the same.
You looked at the scene in front of you in utter confusion.
“Can someone explain what’s happening?” you awkwardly laughed, trying to make sense of the situation.
“Uhm.. It appears you’re still wearing my hoodie… and now the team knows. It also seems that they’ve made bets on how long it took us to slip up and reveal ourselves. I actually considered the possibility that this would happen, but it seemed quite slim. I should’ve known, considering it depended on an extremely large number of variables”, he rambled, blush remaining on his face.
“Oh”, you said, walking slowly and finally slumping into a seat with a loud thump.
After a minute, the giggles quieted down, and the team started picking their seats.
As Emily passed you, she whispered in your ear, “Congratulations, you’ll tell the girls all the details later at girls' night, right? I want to know everything.” She giggled as she walked away.
You knew she was joking, but your face went red, and you buried your face in your hands.
Spencer took his seat next to you, pulling out a book as he began telling you facts about the author.
“For as profound as Dostoevsky is, he actually only wrote to pay off his financial debts. He suffered from a gambling addiction. In fact, he wrote it in only twenty-six days, which is only five days slower than Jack Kerouac wrote when working on ‘On the Road’.”He rambled on about Dostoevsky.
It obviously wasn’t his first time reading Crime and Punishment, but it was one of his favorites, and he often re-read it for enjoyment. He had an eidetic memory, so re-reading them wasn’t really necessary, but he enjoyed it nonetheless.
Hotch watched the two of you. Studying how you interacted and how you treated him. Reid was like his son, and he cared deeply about how he was treated, even if Hotch sometimes failed to treat him right.
When Reid eventually quieted down and became focused on his reading, Hotch looked at you from across the table.
“Just make sure to report it to HR”, He stated. It was the most approval you would ever get out of Hotch without him saying it directly.
So maybe dating a federal agent wouldn’t turn out to be so detrimental to your career.
You leaned on Reid’s shoulder as he read. Snuggled in his hoodie and resting on him, you managed to fall asleep.
Safe to say, that was the best sleep you had in over a month.
A/N: Please like, repost, or follow if you liked this and want to see more!! My requests are always open! <3
