Alienfirst's Side Blog

This is a more personal line of Tumblr thought for Amanda Lien (alienfirst). Reblogs and random commentary ahoy. Freelance game artist and illustrator, teacher, and part-time comic maker. Has relations with crime dramas and Pacific Rim. Support me on Patreon! @ art tumblr @ portfolio | @ twitter @ storenvy | @ society6 @ spoonflower @ commission info (open now) ask.fm (for an alternative to tumblr and it's affinity for eating messages) (Send an ask for the NSFW art tumblr.) Other places to find my art: @ deviantart | @ behance @ wysp | @ nabyn @ instagram

[eclipseisminetocommand]

time to bring this back 

now it all makes sense

[petrxsolano]

you look like you fought ten people and ran a mile to get here. twelve people. four miles.

[lucifer-chloe]

[gaelgarcia]

Guillermo del Toro Wins Best Director at the 2018 Golden Globes

[mustprotectchopper]

[belovedculmets]

star trek discovery + ao3 tags 

x

[wigglyflippingout]

guys look at this spooder

[maria-c-f]

Keep your chin up, Follow your instincts, And always bet on yourself.

[sketchingsands-deactivated20211]

Dnd is coming up so I made a small anim of my Aarakocra Bard, Cawlin. Points if you know the dance. 

[alienfirstblogsstuff]

Hey just wanted to let you know you're awesome and as big of a fan I am of you and your art I really hope that you're taking care of yourself and not feeling obligated to do fandom things! I just hope you're still having fun and letting things go at your pace rather than what other people ask for. You're wonderful and clever and I hope I get to meet you at a convention again!

Hey anon! No worries on that front. I get caught up in fandom things a lot, but I try and make a pretty good practice of recognizing that and then stepping back and reassess that I’m still having fun with it. I’ve had a few weeks with Critical Role in particular that I tried to go a little silent on for just that reason.

As for taking care of myself in the general sense... I’m working on that one. I know this is an old message, but I can at least say that I’m doing better on that front now than I was when this was sent.

Thank you for the message! I feel a bit bad that I may have posted and said something that would cause worry enough to send it in the first place, but I appreciate it all the same!

[alienfirstblogsstuff]

I realized I was a fool the other day about what my next tattoo would be. I KNEW it was going to be Pacific Rim related, and I had THOUGHT it’d be some sort of neat geometric rendition of Otachi’s tongue that would wrap around my forearm, but then I remembered... Newt has tattoos. What if I just got one of Newt’s tattoos, but with Otachi instead.

And thus I am content, and sometime soon I will do more than a 30 minute edit on top of my existing Newt tattoos template.

[nadiezda]

Re-animator is on of my favorite thriller horror movies, since halloween is here, you guys should watch it! 

[annasfridge]

At my okayest

[mad-hare]

not to be trusted

[pangur-and-grim]

I trust her

[alienfirstblogsstuff]

hi amanda ! did you draw your icon yourself ? it really reminds me of something i saw on dA like 10 years ago, but i'm not sure

I did! It’s an old old doodle, so it’s ENTIRELY POSSIBLE that you are remembering it from dA!

[alienfirstblogsstuff]

‘Tis done! First tattoo, with some nerdy shit that I adore. (Now I can plan the Otachi based one, because THAT one was going to be in color and a bit more complex. Wanted to be sure I could handle it.)

[alienfirstblogsstuff]

I don’t really have a proper blog space for longer bits of writing, so forgive me tumblr, Critical Role has their 100th episode today, and try as I am not to, I am emotional. Here’s some words. A lot of words. I’m-so-sorry-I-rambled amount of words.

------------------

I have no new fancy art for today, so here’s some words instead. I’m writing this before I go and teach a couple art classes, so it’ll go up, and then I get to fret for the few hours after if I overshared or said something off. Oh well!

I think shared stories are important. Movies and TV and comics and all of that. We share in the experience and it’s amazing. Then we have games. Games that you can directly experience with another person and engage with them and just how cool is that? And we have Dungeons & Dragons (and all the other RP games, let me not forget Shadowrun, Numenera and the like, but this IS about a D&D show, so we’ll stick with that for simplicity’s sake). D&D is just this weird beast of a thing where you can shape a story with a group of people and make something that all of you own. It just astounds me that we can do that, and it’s fun, and now we’re sharing it even further with chat and video. Holy cow. Honestly, D&D has always read to me as oddly personal. Your character, your story. To now have people online streaming their games on a weekly, bi-weekly, once a month, etc basis? That’s intense. That’s an intensity I am impressed and so thankful for. Thank you to everyone who shares their stories, in whatever way that happens. You’re tearing a little bit off of something you made, and giving it to strangers. That takes a certain strength that you should be commended for.

Anyway! We have Critical Role. Which I happened upon because a couple people on my Twitter feed would just start shouting nonsense on Thursdays and I figured I should look into it so I know at least why they’re shouting. Aaaaand… I was hooked. I blew through the backlog fast (the advantages of doing art for a living: I get to watch movies and shit while I work). I remember having one ear bud in while I watched on my laptop, while also having an eye on the TV as my husband watched Daredevil on Netflix. But, I mean, how could I watch new Daredevil episodes when I was in the MIDDLE of the Briarwood arc??? I MEAN SERIOUSLY. (My husband would later nod his head in understanding after he got hooked and blasted through the past episodes of Critical Role.) I don’t even remember my first live show. I could probably look through my twitter history and find out, but hey, we’re here now, and that’s what matters.

I don’t know where else to go with this, as I can’t say that Critical Role changed my life or anything. What I can say is this: the compassion from the cast and the fans is astounding. Look at this group of people share a personal story they have built together with all of us. All of us TOTAL STRANGERS. Look at us total strangers chat and cheer each other on over the live shows, creative endeavors, or even just real life happenings. How can you not get emotional over that?

Okay, let’s get personal. Sure, Critical Role didn’t change my life. But, I got to start playing D&D again. I got a handful of friends and family into the show and now we get excited together over it. I got my husband into the show, and now he gets to sass me about my affection for Percy. Critical Role timed itself perfectly in my life to pick up the creative threads I was dropping as my Pacific Rim hype died down. On Pacific Rim I COULD write an essay about how it changed my life, but that would take far more space and far more words. Pacific Rim was the first time I really became involved online and with other fans. It was intense and I gained new friends, I grew as an artist, I learned better the type of aesthetic and style I like (and also that tentacles and bioluminescent things are VERY COOL). I still love Pacific Rim. It holds a very very special place in my heart (right below Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy), so I was understandably a bit subdued as it slowly faded (never truly leaving, mind you). And here comes Critical Role to smack me in the side of the face. It was WONDERFUL. Pacific Rim helped me with art direction, and Critical Role picked it up and kept pulling me along. And really, how could it not? Matthew Mercer is an amazing storyteller, and the imagery he weaves every week is a boon to an artist. And the players? Each of those lovely people brings an attitude and a face that just melds and bounces off Matt’s exposition in equal measure. Just as I wouldn’t have drawn Pacific Rim if it didn’t have del Toro’s unique visual style (again, insert some essay here about how Guillermo del Toro helped along a bit of an awakening in this artist’s heart), I don’t think I’d have drawn anything Critical Role without the personality and presence that Matt, Laura, Liam, Travis, Ashley, Sam, Marisha, Taliesin, and all those charismatic guests bring to the table. (And also, let’s shout back to that bit about these stories being personal, and how daunting it is to come back every week and share these characters and world with us. Little bits of creative soul that we get a chance to see!)

I keep drawing because of Critical Role and all these bits of media that I enjoy. I keep drawing because not only are they inspirational, but the fans and friends I’ve made along the way are a constant uplifting presence. Not all the credit can go to the cast. I’ve met (online and in real life) so many amazing and kind people. And when I get down, when it’s a bad brain day, all of that helps so much.

I have no idea how to end this, so how about a super personal note? Because while I admire all the cast, I just really have to extend an extra bit of that for Taliesin. I have always been the quiet bookish one in my family (that I remember; my mom says I was a chatterbox as a child, but that must’ve been before social anxiety socked me good). I felt like I didn’t make friends easy, and up until college, I really felt the odd man out with my interests. Even now, I feel awkward and sometimes ashamed of things I enjoy or do. Seeing Taliesin and how open and unashamed he is with his interests is… I don’t know how to properly explain, but it’s an immense help in some weird way. I turn 32 in a few days, and you know, you get a lot of “you’ll grow out of that” and “why are you still into that” and it is so so tiring and so hurtful, and you feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with you. I guess, hey Taliesin, thanks for being a person to not-really-say-but-sort-of that there’s nothing wrong with me.

Here’s to more stories and more friends and more art. To the creators and the fans. Be lovely and be kind. And most of all, keep sharing your stories.