I just failed my chemistry test (part of the 5% group of F's in my class), and all I want to do at the moment is feel depressed and cry. How do you handle failure? Like getting a bad test score?
Firstly, cry. Let itout. Screw motivational quotes, self help books and keeping composure. Curse, scream, yell. Put on your comfiestoutfit and park yourself in bed with a book, movie, music, youtube - anythingthat isn’t study.
There’s nothingwrong with taking a time out.
Its not like thenext few hours will change your mark - so do what’s in your power right now,that being, taking care of yourself.
I’ve written abouthow I deal with failure on this studyblr before. See:
Shit Grade? Feelingbetter after a terrible exam
The first two postsinclude a list of resources, ranging from working professionals sharing theirexperiences and strategies for dealing with failure, to music recommendations,study tips and goat remixes. Something for everyone - call it my failure first aid kit.
To summarise, Icycle through three broad steps:
1. Immediately after the exam (aka ‘Fuck everything’)
Considerwhat you can do immediately after the exam. Nothing can get you back those fewhours you spent in the exam room. You’re not obliged to discuss yourperformance with your peers, comparing answers won’t change what you’vewritten.
Takesome time off from studying - rest, recuperate, reset.
2. Upon receiving results (aka ‘getting down tobusiness’)
Reviewmy exam: what areas did I do well in? What areas do I need to improve, wheredid I lose most of my marks? Was it a procedural error (e.g. the style ofquestion and time limits) or was a substantive error (e.g. I didn’t understandthe concept they were testing, did we evenlearn about titration). I usethis review to structure my study for my next exam.
Formal avenues of Review: was there anythingthat affected my exam performance? If so, am I eligible for a remark or resit?Has the assessment been fair?
Ask: approach teachers, lecturers to ask for feedback. How can I do better? Whatwas a model answer?
Usingthe strategies and information I have gathered above, its time to bite thebullet and study for the resit or my next exam.
IfI have to cover similar content, I’ll find a new way to study the content (e.g.audio, video, mindmaps)
Ratherthan go through all the content, I’ll target the areas where I lost the mostmarks, whether this be by content or a particular style of question (e.g. shortanswer, essay)
A few things I like to keep in mind:
you can work hard and still fail. You canput in hours and hours of work and still pull up short. However, this doesn’tmean you shouldn’t continue to work diligently. The worth of hard work (the‘process’) goes beyond the result you achieve. The result doesn’t invalidatethe means.
Success is not a predetermined route
There aremany ways to achieve your goal. This assessment, no matter how much itsweighted, no matter how many people tell you ‘it’s the only way’ is notnecessarily the only way to achieve your goal. Life isnt a series of dominoswhich collapse once you fail this exam. Success isn’t linear.
Its difficult to untanglefeelings of self confidence from academic performance, particularly if you’vededicated the majority of your life (so far!) to school etc. School is anartificial pressure cooker of constant assessments, scrutiny (and competition).Remind yourself of who you are outside of ‘being a student’ - you are a friend,a kick ass baker, master procrastinator with the endurance to pull all nightersto marathon episodes of friends. Dedicate yourself to pursuing somethingoutside (and completely independent of) school and your ‘future career’. Remindyourself that you’re human.
During the immediateaftermath of a bad exam result, its difficult to simply ‘get over it’. It feelslike it is the ‘be all or end all’ because you’ve invested so much time andeffort into studying, and up til now, the direction of your life has been definedby reference to your academic journey.
I try to keep thingsin perspective, for the sake of my sanity. This exam is only one in a series ofexams I’ll ever take. That exam only reflected my performance at one specifictime, at one specific place. It doesn’t tell the examiner who I am outside 9am-11amon a Monday morning in exam hall B. It has no bearing on my ability to be agood friend, reliable employee, awesome pet owner.
When I struggle tokeep things in perspective, I find this 'Life Calendar’ by Tim Urban helps,and the Tim Minchin speech referenced in one of the links above.
Heck, I still cry. There’sdays where I spend the entire day in bed. Sometimes, my recent failures seemjust as bad as that stupid quiz I failed back when I started high school - andI’m in my final year of university now. Failure at any stage is difficult becausehere’s the thing - you don’t have the luxury of hindsight to tell you 'thingswill be ok’.
Because I’ll get upthe next morning and try again.
And eventually,things will change. I can’t promise that they’ll get better, but they’llchange.
You’ll get throughthis anon, and I wish you all the best.
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