the disappointment you feel when your own god isn't replying to you in any way.
it feels like I'm left alone in a desert by someone i trusted to guide me to the other side.
I'm not asking for constant reassurance. i know krishna in gita talks about action, detachment and inner steadiness but hey, for once, let me have some kind of small assurance? I've never really had that. ever. at all.
i know my worth isn't measured by how "heard" i feel in one moment of prayer but that's how my mind reads it, so why isn't god doing the opposite of this? why not just make me feel even a little heard?
i just want my problems to be a little easier. I'm not asking life to be easier, just make my problems bearable.
all i wanted was one sign that maybe, just maybe, someone is truly looking out for me.
but it turns out i was actually alone in that desert after all.











