notforpenance

⋆ mv1 ⋆ cl16 ⋆ op81 ⋆ cs55 ⋆

[notforpenance]

⋆ penance ⋆ eng ⋆ ao3 ⋆ any/all :) ⋆ f1, gaming, dcamu, marvel ⋆ ⋆ a few of my numerous prides and joys: you're too sweet for me, san sebastiano, catfishing MILLIONAIRE sugar daddies ⋆

faq when will the (insert fic) be out?

ytsfm jules/oscar jr. chap3 - currently uncertain

exposure therapy chap5 - 06.28.26

galatea chap3 - 06.14.26

feel free to ask me anything (at all) under ask me anything C: & if you have writing requests feel free to send them in :) It might take me a bit to get to them with my current wips, but I’ll do my best!

[notforpenance]

i’m done guys omg

ferrari i can’t believe this

[notforpenance]

10/10 FERRARI GREAT JOB SERVING NOT ONE BUT TWO 5 SECOND PENALTIES FOR NO FUCKING REASON!

[notforpenance]

chapter 4 of exposure therapy is out C:

that's my oscar (rabbit hybrid) x carlos (fox hybrid) fic where oscar is convinced carlos wants to eat him (cuz fox) but carlos just thinks he's hot and wants to date him, if you are interested!

[notforpenance]

star footballer carlos who is a sociable butterfly, stops for every fan, beloved by all, with his perfect model girlfriend who attends every game, dotes on his wins and cries at his losses, and blows him a kiss everytime she’s on camera

star footballer carlos who can’t stop ogling his sarcastic aussie teammate before every game in the locker room, who fucks himself in club bathrooms moaning said teammates name, and then goes to the hotel and fucks his girlfriend while thinking about him

sarcastic aussie teammate who thinks carlos is the fakest person ever because he’s such a big people pleaser and then he goes out one night and desperately needs to piss and who’s in the shut stall next to the urinals jerking off over the toilet bowl? carlos. and who just came groaning his name? carlos. and who took a two second look at him when he walked out of the stall and just absolutely ran away? carlos.

and all said teammate can think about is that carlos didn’t wash his hands.

oh yeah and carlos’s girlfriend has been picturing carlos’s sister every time they fuck, who also comes to a lot of carlos’s games and who always sits with his girlfriend and who holds her hand that one time they’re nervous carlos might have gotten injured… they both in the same pickle

[phoebe2self]

How you’d like carcar

Bottom Oscar / Top Carlos

Bottom Carlos / Top Oscar

Switch

Remaining time: 1 day 14 hours

[qingyyy]

[notforpenance]

just me or are they giving victor vale and eli ever here?

[notforpenance]

gotta say… submitting ghoap fic to your college english class is kinda crazy work… keep fandom stuff in fandom spaces perhaps :o

[notforpenance]

im back <3

no words just oscar beeastri (wasp-astri doesn’t have the same ring)

[notforpenance]

the second part of jules/oscar jr.’s story is out now :)

you’re too sweet for me

[notforpenance]

8 days ago when i said exposure therapy is coming soon i lied actually because i looked at it yesterday and hated it and now im rewriting it and whilst it’s still coming soon because im restricting myself to 4k ish per chapter i felt the need to explain the increase in wait time LOL youll prob see it by the end of the week

holy moly my fingers hurt ;( two 6k days in a row

i will say my book is a horror + m/m and my main characters have an m first name and a c first name so it’s basically lestappen :) except not lestappen but i figured id stick in my comfort zone for this one so they’re basically lestappen rip

exposure therapy about halfway there

also i have been cheating on exposure therapy with a fic inspired by these clips of the crown i keep seeing so eventually you’ll probably see that too :)

[gonkula]

nothing more embarrassing than holding a blonde man dear in your thoughts. you were supposed to be the enemy.

[notforpenance]

hi all!

life update: i'm writing a novel!

i said, fuck engineering, and i'm following my dreams i guess uh i'm not gonna let ai taking over scare me away from writing, fuck that, i want to write, that's what im going to do.

what does this mean for you?

since coming to this revelation, i have had a lot of life changing going on so things have been crazy (thank god i finished san sebastiano cuz you poor folks would've probably had to wait even longer if i didn't finish it then), now my whole day is dedicated to writing and to becoming better at writing and to putting my writing places i can make money off of it i have no plans to stop writing fic, please let me make that clear (i have quite a few fics planned actually) however, because i am still getting used to my new routines, i have been struggling to write fic on top of everything else the last two weeks ish i do have time blocked out for it everyday, and once i get used to everything else, i will get back into my rhythm with greater ease (i'm still writing it most days i just can't output as much as i normally do, though y'all hardly get to see how much fic i normally write day to day LOL cuz lots of it remains in my ellipsus) but for now, i might drop off the map a small amount, (not too much i really don't think like i say, i still do write it most days) until i get used to everything!

i don't know if any of you would ever want to read my novel, but when i get close to done with it, i might ask if anyone wants a free copy C: i won't say anything about the plot and stuff now cuz im <20,000 words written but maybe eventually!

sorry if this causes delays, exposure therapy is actually like so close to getting another chapter so that can be expected soon (i think that piece is going to be longer than i expected), i'm having some issues with the jules/oscar jr. second segment, so that will be a bit longer i fear

thanks for reading my rant! see you at the next one C:

[notforpenance]

hiii i just wanted to say i just finished san sebsatiano and it is one of the best pieces of writing i have ever read and i feel just fucking blessed to read just good writing but yeahh the ending fucking traumatized k what's funny the entire time i was reading it was think shit this is too perfect is charles hallucinating it or somethings just it felt so dream like i was waiting for it to combust and i just thinking shittt maybe i am just negative for sum shit and then the ending hit meee omggg jesus it hurt so bad like i started fucking studying to not think about the ending thats how bad it got but i think really its thebest ending yeas it makes me unhappy but its great its fitting from the starting charles became max's martyr of course he wounldn't survive this aand knowing it was planned from the start hurts even more because there never really was an happy ending for them they never got the privilege to grow old together but yeah i love san sebsantiano alott i have follwed it since 2024 when it had like onply 3 chh i got hooked so quicklyy this entire fic is just a masterpiece to me its so great like the writing i also felt forgiveme its rude but improved alot from the starting not to say the starting was bad it just went from good to great yk it to me felt like watching something like nbc hannibal again and i wanted to know if u would ever write another fic with max and charles as the main

and i also grew to love paintings alot from this fic like i liked them before i want to know about them and i hope one day i will be able to see san sebsantian also i just want to know like what made you want to write such a story because it is just such a one of a kind type of thing what inspired you and also what is your fav painting and yeah i really really loved this sm and i thank youuuu smm for writing thisss i think this fic will be in my memory forever

thank you so much for all you said <3 <3

i definitely was ramping up all the good stuff and like references to their potential future because i was hoping it might come off as too good to be true!

i'm glad you think the writing improved! hopefully i can keep getting better as time goes on.

my current planned longfic (though i'm not sure when i'll start publishing) is a three part piece and the first part is entirely max/charles, the second part is max/charles and oscar/carlos and the third part is oscar/carlos so that is in the works, and i have a shorter piece planned for charles/max as well! so definitely will have some more stuff coming out for charles/max

i started san sebastiano in a period of immense change in my life so i would say that primarily pushed it for me, but inspiration wise, theres notes of daredevil (tv show - wilson fisk/vanessa) in here (definitely watch (not the new season but the original three) if you like max's character he is very very wilson fisk coded and while charles isn't quite like vanessa the art love and more refined nature is something they share), and some snips from some webtoon's i've seen ads for (on Instagram) (carlos in particular his whole deal with the medical torture was inspired by i think a webtoon called mafia nanny or something, i've never read it but i saw on panel of it in an ad that gave me that idea) and then fic-wise, Carpe Noctem by agnus_dei was a huge huge inspiration for this! obviously i was also very inspired by the painting San Sebastiano, Andrea Boscoli as well!

i've been expanding my palette in terms of art interest recently, so two contemporary artists i've been loving have been Elena Fiorenza Gatti (fiorenza_art on Instagram) and Romy Elliott (romyelliottart on Instagram) but for the past couple of months i've been very into John Singer-Sargent. what i like so much about his work is that in his portraiture, i don't feel like it's just a straight portrait of them, i feel as though i can see the people through his eyes, like exactly as he sees them and feels about them. and my favorite piece of his is his 1883 portrait of Albert de Belleroche.

thank you again for all your kind words C:

[notforpenance]

are you are carlos fan cause reading the beginning of not for penance, why is everyone so against carlos?

(they mean san sebastiano)

i am a big carlos fan!!!

i’m not sure how far you are into it or if it’s like a reread or something but if you haven’t read the whole thing yet, you will find out why!!

[notforpenance]

my very late christmas gift to you

san sebastiano

[notforpenance]

congrats kimi but come on guys let’s be real about this season

are we really excited about seeing mercedes 1 2 every single race because of the loophole?

are we really excited to see a thousand retirements for technical reasons every race?

are we really excited to watch the drivers be passengers in the new reg cars and that alone basically determine the entire race as opposed to skill?

we can make all the claims we want about 2023 red bull but to be fair, other drivers out performed checo frequently in that season and it was possible for them to place higher… this season even when george russell has a bad quali lap he still is .2 ahead of every else (except kimi)

these reg changes (and the constant FIA bullshit (which has been going on for many many years)) are the kinds of things that encourage dedicated fans to stop watching the sport

it’s just sort of getting tiring

when mercedes wins the championship because of a technical loophole i wont be happy for them like (as an engineer) i really want to be ill just be like “yeah of course they won because they ran a car that isn’t within regs”