Hairless Ace
Asahi x Reader
Summary: On a brutally hot and humid July day in the Karasuno gym, a miserable Asahi jokes about buzzing off his signature hair to beat the heat. WC: 661
Rating/Genre: Fluff
Warnings: None
A/N: First time ever posting something like this cause my friend said I should definitely do it.
The humidity in the air was so thick you could practically chew it. Inside the Karasuno gym, the heat had reached a level of disrespect that shouldn’t be legal.
Asahi was currently slumped against the cooling fans, his usual man-bun looking more like a damp bird's nest. His jersey was plastered to his back, and he was fanning himself with a stray clipboard, looking like he was one minor inconvenience away from evaporating entirely.
"I can't do it," Asahi groaned, his voice reaching that specific pitch of dramatic despair. "I think the heat is actually melting my brain."
You handed him a frozen water bottle, which he immediately pressed against his forehead with a whimper of relief. "It’s just July, Asahi. We still have August to get through."
Asahi let out a long, suffering sigh, eyes drifting toward the equipment room mirror. He reached up, tugging at the hair ties that held his signature locks in place. "That's it. I’ve decided. It’s too hot to have this much hair."
He looked at you, a mischievous (and very dehydrated) glint in his eye. "I think I'm just gonna buzz it all off. Graduation is coming up anyway. A fresh start. No more buns, no more headbands. Just... aerodynamic Asahi."
The silence that followed was deafening.
You didn't laugh. You didn't even blink. Your brain simply hit a physical "Emergency Stop" button. The water bottle in your hand hit the floor with a dull thud.
"You're going to what?" your voice was dangerously low.
Asahi blinked, his smile faltering. "Uh, buzz it? You know, like Tanaka? It would be so much cooler—"
"ABSOLUTELY NOT."
You stepped into his personal space, your finger hovering inches from his chest. The heat exhaustion was gone, replaced by pure, unadulterated adrenaline. "Asahi Azumane, if you so much as look at a pair of clippers, I will personally stage a coup. Do you have any idea what you’re saying? That hair is a national treasure. It is a landmark. It is the eighth wonder of the Miyagi Prefecture!"
"Wait, it was just a joke!" Asahi squeaked, backing away until his shoulders hit the wall. "I was kidding! Mostly!"
"'MOSTLY' IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" you yelled, attracting the attention of the entire team. Nishinoya and Tanaka stopped mid-drill to watch the carnage.
"You think you can just shave off those luscious locks because of a little humidity?" you continued, pacing back and forth like a high-court prosecutor. "People spend fortunes on products to get that volume! You have the mane of a lion, the silhouette of a literal samurai, and you want to look like a giant thumb?!"
"A giant thumb?!" Asahi looked genuinely hurt, clutching his hair protectively.
"Yes! A very tall, very anxious thumb!" You grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him slightly. "Do you realize the emotional toll that would take on me? On the fans? On the world? If that hair goes, the Ace energy goes. Is that what you want, Asahi? To be a hairless Ace?!"
Asahi’s face was now a vibrant shade of crimson that had nothing to do with the summer heat. He looked over your shoulder to see Suga doubling over with laughter and Daichi nodding solemnly in agreement with your points.
"Okay! Okay!" Asahi held up his hands in surrender. "The hair stays! I promise! No buzzing! I’ll just... I’ll buy more ice packs! Please stop looking at me like I’ve committed a crime!"
You took a deep breath, smoothing down your shirt and regaining your composure instantly. "Good. I'm glad we could have this rational discussion."
You picked up his water bottle and handed it back to him. "Now, go put some more cold water on your neck. You’re clearly delirious from the sun."
Asahi watched you walk away, still trembling slightly. He reached up, gingerly touching his ponytail.
"Note to self," he whispered to a snickering Nishinoya, "never, ever joke about the hair. My life depends on it."
@dearnoly