mood: going to burger king @ 11 PM, ordering several medium fries, sitting there & eating them in a completely mentaly/emotionally detached state, while wearing one of their paper crowns

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@nothiswatson-blog
mood: going to burger king @ 11 PM, ordering several medium fries, sitting there & eating them in a completely mentaly/emotionally detached state, while wearing one of their paper crowns
brotzly for ship meme obviously (pretend i sent this from my dirk blog ajfsg)
Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versaBoth? Both.
Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside themDirk.
Who starts the tickle fightsAlso Dirk.
Who starts the pillow fightsProbably Todd?
Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smileTodd, sometimes Dirk.
Who mistakes salt for sugarBoth.
Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morningDirk.
Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines????? ? Dirk ??
Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical orderTodd.
Who licks the spoon when they’re baking browniesDirk, after fighting Todd about it.
Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasionDirk.
Who draws little tattoos on the other with a penTodd.
Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacationDirk, darn it.
Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazinesAgain, Dirk.
♡ Send me a ship and I’ll tell you
Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa
Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them
Who starts the tickle fights
Who starts the pillow fights
Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile
Who mistakes salt for sugar
Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning
Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines
Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order
Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies
Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion
Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen
Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation
Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines
dirk gently.
[ text : Todd ] I did not break into your apartment it was more like… out-of-the-box innovative entering [ text : Todd ] And I may be British but I had absolutely no intention to steal anything so I object to the label of ‘burglar’ [ text : Todd ] …well if you must know, it was probably either me cooking or watching some movie on the telly
[ text ] : a british trespasser then. [ text ] : or both. what are you cooking?
dirk gently.
[ text : Todd ] Yelping???? I do not YELP those were… dignified and serious…. small sounds of surprise!!! [ text : Todd ] And anyway I seem to recall YOU letting out a sort of impressively loud squeak when I came in through ur window [ text : Todd ] Anyway if youre certain I guess I have a new sweatshirt to sleep in ;P
[ text ] : you mean when you broke into my apartment? [ text ] : those were yelps, dirk. what was it that got you so surprised? a british burglar? [ text ] : enjoy it ;)
dirk gently.
continued from @nothiswatson (x)
[ text : Todd ] You dont know what I’m going to do with it!!!!! Maybe I’m going to shred it into bedding for the kitten [ text : Todd ] Maybe I’ll sleep in it [ text : Todd ] Are you sure though??? You know I’m just downstairs right????
[ text ] : yeah, I hear you yelping every now and then. [ text ] : it’s fine. keep it.
“The hunches don’t help me. Ever. So I figured I might as well use them to try to help other people. You’re the first person who’s actually stuck around and helped. You’re the first person who’s actually acted like a friend, whether you acknowledge it or not, and to be totally candid I’m a bit sick of your bullshit, Todd.” “What?” “Well, I just wish you’d stop saying you’re an asshole. I don’t think you are, so it comes off a bit cheap.” “Cheap? Have you not been listening?” “It’s very easy to act like a jerk, and then say, ‘Well I’m a jerk, so that’s that’, but it’s not like being a bloody werewolf is it? It’s just you making excuses for your excuses. I don’t have any friends. I am always surrounded by bizarre and frightening stages of disaster, and I am always alone. Even you keep saying you’re not my friend. But since you’re the closest thing I’ve had, I’d really appreciate it if you’d stop saying you’re an asshole.” “Okay. You’re right.” “Huh?” “When we get back in the morning, we’ll solve the murder of Patrick Spring, save Lydia, and figure out whatever the hell that thing is. And I’ll tell Amanda the truth about everything. And Dirk, I am your friend.” DIRK GENTLY & TODD BROTZMAN.
Don’t think twice Give yourself to another night Hold on tight Hope that you make it out alive
dirk gently.
Did Todd just laugh because he thought Dirk looked impressive doing that? Probably not, but the sound of his laugh still makes Dirk feel warm all over, and he’s smiling as well even as he makes his hands go still. There’s something beautiful about Todd’s face when he smiles, the way his entire face lights up… Every time he sees it he feels as if he has accidentally witnessed something unimaginably precious.
The offer to have Todd teach him to play the guitar, though—with an acoustic guitar, which means he’ll probably get to hear Todd play the acoustic guitar and see it, an offer that Dirk would never be able to refuse—makes his entire face light up and he leans forward, unable to hide his joy at the thought. “I would love to, Todd. It would truly, truly be an honour to receive private lessons from the lead guitarist of the Mexican Funeral himself. And I’m glad your acoustic guitar survived the Rowdy Three—ooh—but does that mean you can play the acoustic guitar? I don’t suppose I could—see that someday, could I? Whenever you have time, that is.” Immediately he feels greedy, wonders if he’s inconveniencing Todd just to tuck away the sight of him playing the acoustic guitar into his memories ( you ruined my life just to have a friend still echoes in the hollows of his mind, sometimes, when he lets it get too quiet, even though he knows—well, is pretty sure Todd has changed his mind ) but the words have already left his lips and he watches Todd, his eyes widened, with bated breath.
he hadn’t been expecting such an enthusiastic response, but maybe he should have. it’s dirk, after all, and if he does something apathetically something is very very wrong. but somehow todd has grown attached to the overly excited ways of his friend, which is quite the contrast to how he felt when they met. he supposes he must have been a different person back then, but then again the events of that week would likely have changed everyone in some way or the other. “I’m not promising that I’m good at teaching though, so don’t get your hopes up too much.” he had never attempted to teach somebody else to play before, except for amanda when they were kids and she had been fascinated with his, at the time, vastly limited skills. “If I’m gonna teach you you’re gonna have to see me play at one point or the other, Dirk.” that’s when he gets up and leaves the semi-busted guitar in the spot he’s been sitting in. it’s been well over a year since he last picked out his acoustic guitar, and truth be told he’s not fully sure of where it is. he find it after about a few minutes of silent searching, in a cupboard along with his ironing board, another item he isn’t a regular user of, to his shame, and rejoins his friend in the living area. “what d’you wanna hear?”
[text] You left your sweatshirt here. It’s mine now.
[text] : fair warning that it’s not gonna go with any of your jackets. [text] : but fine. enjoy it.
Send my muse one of the following texts to see how they react:
[text] I can’t take you seriously when you’re using that many emojis. [text] Im not drunk eveyone is just blurry [text] Could you be anymore dramatic? [text] You need more friends… or a therapist… [text] All you do all day is sit around and google pictures of baby animals! [text] I just miss you. That’s all. [text] New rule.. every time you say his name I get to punch you. [text] You’re going to hell for sure now. [text] Why is there a life size cardboard cut out of Harry Styles in my bedroom? [text] I really don’t care… [text] Oh no, I’m not doing that again. [text] I’ve seen every episode of Grey’s Anatomy like 3 times. I practically have a PhD. [text] Do whatever you want. I don’t even care anymore. [text] Can’t talk now.. too busy eating ice cream and watching House Hunters International. [text] We’re not watching Frozen again. [text] I have no idea what you’re talking about… [text] You’ve got waaaay too much time on your hands. [text] Are you trying to bribe me with sex? [text] I just don’t think moving in together is a very good idea… [text] Because you’re pissing me off! [text] You left your sweatshirt here. It’s mine now. [text] I need to tell you something but you have to promise not to get mad. [text] What did I say about sending me pictures like that while I’m at work? [text] Wait… are you serious? [text] I accidentally just called my mom a bitch to her face and now I have to run away. [text] I’m just saying that you look a lot better without clothes on! [text] I know that we don’t always get along but I really do miss you. [text] Pictures or it didn’t happen! [text] I’ll accept apologizes in the form of food or sex. [text] I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry please just pick up the phone. [text] That’s really inappropriate… [text] I don’t know if I should be embarrassed or proud… [text] You’ll never guess who just texted me. [text] I hate my life right now about as much as Robert Pattinson hates Twilight.
dirk gently.
Dirk shrugs, not particularly bothered that Todd doesn’t know the answer off the top of his head. “Okay. Got it. Well…….. I thought it sounded like fun.” He takes a moment to stop and think about it, though, and his eyebrows furrow with a frown; Todd probably wouldn’t much like the noise. If he would let Dirk bring random percussion instruments into his apartment, which was probably a bit of an assumption as well.
“Come to think about it, I suppose I… would probably enjoy playing something like the piano or the guitar most. I don’t know how long I’d have to practice to get as good as you, though. You must have been playing for ages. When I saw you and Amanda playing together the first time we met, you were fantastic. Have you?” Dirk gestures to the guitar Todd’s been holding. “Tried playing it again. I hope it’s not… too damaged from when you hit the wall with it. Don’t you have to plug it in somewhere, though? Since it’s an electric guitar? Or can you just?” Here Dirk makes a complicated sort of wiggly gesture in front of his stomach with his fingers as if miming the movements of a guitarist. He’d never payed that much attention to specific guitarists, really, unless they were Todd, so hopefully what he meant to convey was coming across.
bringing home a gong sounds exactly like the kind of impulse decision dirk would make and todd feels a spark of relief for having, at least partially, shut it down for now. “I think I aged it about ten years, but it’s not trashed completely. so there’s that at least. ... I gotta plug it into the amplifier for it to sound good, it’s not hollow like acoustic guitars so the sounds doesn’t carry as well.” he lets out a low chuckle at dirk’s antics, not sure if he’s ever seen guitar moves like that. ever. he thinks about dirk playing the piano, about how beautiful he’d surely look, and promptly stops thinking about it. “you don’t have to be good to enjoy doing it. I-I have an acoustic guitar.. somewhere, I could teach you? if you’d like, that is.” immediately he feels as though this is a proposition that will most likely bring him plenty of headaches, but he doesn’t regret offering. dirk will either be good, great or horrific at playing, and either way todd feels strangely glad to invite the detective into his world, for once.
dirk gently.
Dirk’s head snaps up to look in Todd’s direction when Todd talks to him. He knows they’re the only ones in the apartment, but there’s still a moment of wonder—wonder that Todd is talking to him. Todd is talking to him. And after he had been convinced that Todd had finally had too much and was going to leave forever. Admittedly it’s probably been too long for Dirk to still be elated over Todd coming back for him, but he can’t help this little burst of joy from leaping up to his throat whenever Todd looks to him, or talks to him, or—or does anything in his presence related to him, really. This must be what it feels like to have a friend.
“Oh—no, no, I never really had the time to learn. Not like you did. It did seem like a lot of fun, though.” Not exactly the making music bit, although Dirk was sure that was worthwhile too—it was more the doing something with other people in sync bit that appealed to him, reminded him how fiercely alone he felt, how it burned inside him sometimes like embers in his chest. Trying to forget about it, though, he powers on, letting his mouth sort of… do its thing. “Although I do suppose I might not be too bad at playing the ones that don’t look complicated. Like, like the maracas or the tambourine! Ooh, or the gong. You know what, I’d love to play a gong. How much are gongs, do you know?”
todd is, at this point, not surprised when dirk goes off monologuing like a drama student in an existential crisis. it’s part of his charm, even if the guitarist finds it extraordinarily hard to keep up. what he gets out of the smaller rant is that no, dirk does not have any musical background but is now ( todd wants to bang his head against the wall ) planning to change that in quite the loud and extravagant fashion. in retrospect, he should have seen this one coming. “not not at the top of my head.” gongs are, as far as he’s aware, not used too often in the punk music he’s used to creating, and he can’t remember ever chatting with the gongist of some other band while waiting for his turn on the stage. “guess you could call amanda and ask her. percussion instruments are her thing, so she’d be my best bet.” todd doubted she’d be able to give him an answer either, but he wasn’t feeling like getting off the couch to do some late-night googling if there’s still a possibility that dirk can get the answer himself. “why, why the gong, though?”
@seemslikeaguy !!
his apartment is, to say the least, a mess. not that is isn’t usually, but after the whole ordeal with the time-travel and the soul-switching and dirk gently, todd find that the motivation to do mundane things like tidy up on a regular basis has escaped him. he is currently sitting in his sofa, that has for sure seen better days, strumming his electric guitar absentmindedly. he isn’t really playing anything, after the beating the old thing took when todd had a minor after a certain wrecking of his home, playing it properly just doesn’t sound quite as beautiful. not that he thinks dirk, his only audience, would notice or mind. “do you play any instruments?” he stops playing and finds himself asking a question he has never even thought about before. there are a lot of things he doesn’t know about his.. well, friend, but this might be a good place to start.
TODD BROTZMAN, 30, wakes up in his dingy studio apartment, hearing crashing and banging from outside. Todd is the sort of half-invisible fellow you might catch holding an elevator for you, or letting you skip ahead of him in the grocery store. seem relatable to you? todd is the assistant / friend of the holistic detective Dirk Gently. if you follow, you’re sure to see some sass, some self-loathing and the overall chaos that is his life !! blog run by Altair.
Dirk: I just wanted a friend
Todd: Well, there’s ‘friend’ in boyfriend
Dirk: What
Todd: What