Fanfic for the discerning reader

My fanfic recs. Main blog is here: nothorse.tumblr.com

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When I was younger my father passed his pet rock on to me, and in less than a week it was dead.

Mauling Snarks (Worm) | Page 709 | Sufficient Velocity

The one that is both long, funny and the anti-worm

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On Minerva's right, Professor Vector was attempting to herd a flock of penguins together so she could vanish them. On her left, Hagrid was wrestling with a fairly lively chair that was attempted to reach Professor Sinistra. Professor Sinistra was, in turn, attempting to use various incantations to return the thing to its original state, none of which were having great effect. Unsurprisingly, Peeves was taunting Filch by the teachers table. The occasional, livelier, piece of food was letting out a half-hearted hop, while various birds and rodents still darted around. Various different coloured mists were also lying in wait around the room, probably sent out by students wishing to create even more chaos.

Just a Random Tuesday…

The one where Minerva McGonagall has a long day, a very long day. 

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"How do you even breed a human with a Lethifold?" he asked and instantly regretted the question. "Magic is capable of incomprehensible wonders," Andromeda spoke softly, "of equally Dark and light." Harry stared at the delicate tea cup in his hand and wondered if he would ever truly know the world he now belonged to.

The Sum of Their Parts by holdmybeer

The one where Harry decides to become a dark lord to keep his god son safe and Ron and Hermione follow him and it all goes weird very soon.

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Harry sat down on the old bench next to the broom storage shed. "Hermione changed from a white woman to a black woman and no one noticed?" "Well," Ron said as he joined his oldest friend on the bench. "It's not like skin color really matters, does it?" "Well…" Harry hesitated, "not really, but in this case…" "I mean, I know my own wife, after all," Ron said with finality. "Yeah, I suppose you do," Harry agreed. The pair sat in silence for several moments.

The one where Hermione changes and a neat response to the casting kerfluffle.

The Controversy by Clell65619

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He stared at his hands, no longer painted, and then touches his chest, pleased to feel the familiar scars of the V8 were still there, just as shine as always, and oddly comforting. He worked hard on that scar, and it would be right mediocre to be in Valhalla without it...if he even was in Valhalla.

We live, we die & death not ends it by epic_cephalopod

The one where Nux wakes up in Folkwang, because Freya takes her share of the dead first.

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Darcy thrust one of her crutches between Doom's knees and leaned hard to her left. Caught off guard, Doom's right foot slipped from the ledge. Darcy flipped the other crutch up to his sternum and pushed with all her might, knocking Doom off the the roof altogether. In his surprise, he let out a high pitched squeak as he fell.

The one where Victor von Doom insists that Darcy Lewis (Grigori) is his betrothed, and Darcy is rather not amenable to the idea.

Patient Love (Is Waiting) by SHIELD1 [Archive of Our Own]

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Day One“, she writes, “a rusty old hippie bus that smells vaguely of pot and fish is our new home. Mom is probably having a conniption somewhere if she can see us.

 The one where Buffy and Dawn get into a van and drive across America after Sunnydale.

feet been draggin’ cross the ground - by celaenos

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Sorry in advance, but this isn't related to your fic recs. However - I thought you might want to know that a site called ebooks-tree (the one AO3 is posting about) has a page hosting at least five of your works from AO3 . If you know already, I apologise :) Angelholme.

I didn’t know. I’ll have to take a look. Thanks for the heads-up.

Generally, I don’t care if somebody reposts my stuff, I’m pretty much a copyright anarchist and thus probably won’t bother to send a takedown notice. I would be miffed if they’d charge for access. But they don’t seem to do that at least for the .mobi files, those download immediately. The PDFs seem to be behind an interstitial ad, which I will never see, because I redirect all known adserver dnsnames to 0.0.0.0

I do wonder about the choices. I’m neither prolific nor ae my AO3 fics known or linked and recced -- at least as far as I know (I have a few recs to the LJ version of my fics). Maybe they go by Kudo count or some such? I’ll have to look at my stats.

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Tell me a little about yourself Lily, why did you feel the need to visit uncle Death?" "Well, it's Sunday, I visit uncle Death every Sunday." This stopped him, "I'm sorry but you… attempt suicide every Sunday?" "Oh no, not attempt, most times it works. I suppose you would say that most times I do commit suicide every Sunday.

The one where Ellie Potter lives with the Dursleys, has Wizard Lenin (Lord French Airplane Disaster) in her mind and visits her uncle by regular suicide. And it gets weirder. Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus by The Carnivorous Muffin

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Neville Longbottom didn’t do magic until he was nearly eight (and even then it was just bouncing down the stairs after he had tripped), but his grandmother beamed proudly all the same. “Used up eight years of it slaying dark wizards,” she told her other society ladies over tea.

The two where Voldemort went for Neville. Quiet and beautiful.

boy with a scar by dirgewithoutmusic [Archive of Our Own]

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Typing in Hermione's handwritten arithmancy equations was sort of like doing trigonometry while tripping out on acid. Not that I've ever dropped acid, but if I did and if I then did trigonometry, this is what it would feel like.

The one where Harry dips into his money, assembles a posse, ropes his cousin into tech support and it all goes wonderfully weird. (Beautifully illustrated, too) HP Widdershins by Didodikali

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It was a stupid idea, but it made perfect sense. Hermione had also carefully avoided vetoing the idea on behalf of it not technically being against the rules. It was a bit of a relief to know just how deeply they'd managed to corrupt their friend and dragged her deeper into their line of thinking over the years. Kind of funny too, but neither of them would be stupid enough to say that out loud in her presence.

The one where Ron has a cunning plan for the Yule Ball and it ends up hilarious. (One Drabble in a large collection.) "A Date" in: An Incomplete Potter Collection Collection Chapter 13 by Racke

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Exactly,” Rory agrees. “When I first read Wuthering Heights when I was nine—” “Of course you were nine,” Paris grumbles, and suddenly feels like an eleven year old failure. “—my mom pitched it as the greatest horror story ever told. And that Kate Bush song definitely helped to back up her stance.

The one where Rory Gilmore discusses Wuthering Heights with Edward Cullen and Paris refuses to cede her Rory-destroying privileges. Whatever our souls are made of by dollsome

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Hell was, Snape decided, a crowded railway platform. If any more people joined them, he wasn't going to be able to breathe, and if he ever found out who'd just trodden on his foot, that child was going to be very sorry. The station was packed to the brim, children and teachers alike squashed uncomfortably together as they waited for the train to arrive.

The one where various people wait for THAT train and you will have tears in your eyes. End Of the Line by shewhoguards

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We may be Griffs, but that doesn’t mean we have to let people dare us into idiotic acts. If Malenfant dared Harry to jump off the west tower, would anyone think that was a good idea?” “Does he get a parachute?” “Is there a lake below?” “Or maybe a big inflated pad like for movie stunts?

The one where Harworts under Headmaster Appledore is preparatory school for nobility (and the occasional child delinquent with potential) to learn everything they need to succeed in the secret services. Brilliant non-magical AU Hermione Granger and the Boy Who Lived by Diane Castle.

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All doubt vanished when Maggie looked down into his blue eyes and round face. It was him, all right. It was Spider-Man, right here at her table, waiting to order breakfast from her. She just couldn't get over how normal he looked. She found it impossible to imagine him in his red-and-blues, crawling on the outside of her train car, trading blows with that maniac with the metal arms. [...] She glared down at her order pad. "So. Um. Let me tell you about the specials. This week we're offering an off-hours deal. All you can eat breakfast. Just a dollar fifty.

The one where Peter gets impossibly cheap breakfasts. Just a Face On a Train by katheryne

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Hawkeye dragged Xander outside. Xander let him. “Tell me what happened. A mugger doesn’t leave the marks of a mountain lion.” “You don’t want to know.” “She almost died!” “She wouldn’t have been the first and she wouldn’t have been the last,” Xander retorted.

The one where retired Dr. Pierce lives next door to a house full of young girls. A story told in 100 drabbles.

Shoveling by Pa Burke