Bartender rin itoshi x gn! fat lazy loser suicidal depressed procastinator chud reader
!! cw: age up, mentions of suicide and alcohol, 67, NOT PROOFREAD, RANDOM BULLSHIT GO, idk shit abt alcohol and bars (i jus a babeh! 🥺(jk pls dnt scroll)), 1k words, idk what else to add
a/n: IM STILL A NEWGEN FIC READER DONT KILL ME genuinely js made up some bs bruh, ended short bc idk what else to do sryyy ^^
p. s not self projection bc i doomscroll on tiktok not insta
Everything in your life was going wrong. All your exam results had come back, and not a single one you passed. Even after hours of gruelling studying, 67 doomscrolling breaks, no socialising, you still got shit marks, in all subjects, all scores under 20%. At first, you thought this was just some sort of sick joke, but no, this was the reality. You couldn't help but laugh, then that laughing turned to absolute sobbing. It was hilarious, how much effort you put into these exams, declining all the times your friend’s invitations to hang out, even distancing yourself from them, just for it to mean nothing.
You always struggled with studying, it didn’t help that you had awful depression and procrastinated at every task, and your parents screamed at you every second to study. Every single thing just demotiviated you, you could’ve sworn you were looking at revision sheets, but you always found yourself on Instagram, just watching car crashing reels. You deflect all the times your parents query about your exam results, but it was inevitable, they eventually found out. Indubitably, they were furious, threatening to kick you out, and just other awful threats.
Well, at least you still have your boyfriend who’ll love you regardless, right? Nope, you receive a text message from a classmate, breaking the news of your boyfriend and best friend secretly hooking up without your knowledge. You couldn’t even cry, or even care. You know what life really wants from you, life wants you to kill yourself, and you were already preparing the noose. Before deciding to end your miserable life, you suddenly have the bright idea to try things you’ve never done before, one of them being drinking. From all the parties you rejected, you never had the chance to drink alcohol. Even if you wanted to, your parents would absolutely beat your ass if you even thought about it.
You put on a jacket, and sneak out of the house, walking to the closest bar. You step foot into the place, the warm lights make your eyes rest easily, and the atmosphere is lively, with lots of people conversing joyfully and the scent of alcohol hits your nose almost immediately. You look around, not sure where to go, this wasn't like the movies at all. You see a dark green haired bartender, skillfully mixing up a drink, with seats empty in front of him. He had a bored expression on his face, constantly glancing up at the clock on the wall, you can tell he was ready to leave this place.
You thought to yourself “Surely he’d be willing to help me? Well he has to, it’s his flippin job, am I genuinely stupid bro? ”, so you approach his empty corner, and take a seat.
He notices you, “Hi. What can I get for you?“, he says in a monotone voice. Your eyes flicker to his name badge, the text says: ’Rin Itoshi’. The name sounded familiar, then it hit you, this was the famous football athlete, little brother of Japan’s best midfielder.
You're too lazy and exhausted to freak out, you just wanted the pain to go away.
“The strongest alcohol you can offer me.” You say bluntly.
Rin stays quiet for a hot second, “ID?” he sighed, looking back up at the clock, he's going to have to deal with a drunkard until the bar closes. You hand over your ID, he checks it, making sure it's not a false ID.
He tilts his head, “You're new here, have you had alcohol before?” he asks.
You shake your head, “Nope, not a drop.” you say honestly.
Rin frowns in disapproval, and a little bit of concern, “You should try something light first.” he suggests.
“I’m the one paying, aren't I? Fudging shut up, and just grab me your strongest bottle.” You snap at him.
He sighed, he definitely doesn't get paid enough for this bullshit. The guilt of snapping at him punches you in the gut almost immediately. The poor guy is just trying to do his job, and it was very considerate of him to even ask if you wanted something lighter.
You open your mouth once again, “Sorry, genuinely, I-I didn't mean to yell at you like that..” you quickly apologize.
“You know, I know you don't care but like, life has just rammed its dick so far up my ass, for no reason. No preparation whatsoever, it's like I’m destined to be a failure and just to be a ceiling decoration. Do you get what I mean? Ugh, it's just whatever, forget what I said. ” You added.
Rin’s eyebrow raises at your interesting analogy, still staying silent and preparing himself for what comes next , knowing you’ll continue on with your tepid life.
You entered a trancelike state, you wanted to stop trauma dumping on this poor bartender, but you couldn't stop yourself. Everything that’s been happening to you this whole year, is just blurted out into 30 minutes. Your eyes began to water and burn, just being reminded of your wretched life just made you wanna restart from the start. You wondered for years, what did you do to deserve this hell? If it were anyone else, they’d probably kill themself too. Such a pitiful, meaningless life you lived, every step you took, every breath you breathed in, was a waste. You didn't deserve to be alive so long, or even exist.
Tears begin to spill silently, and Rin has an unreadable expression on his face. His long fingers push a glass towards you, the glass has a clear liquid, filled halfway. You tilt your head, it just looks like water to you, but it must be some hardcore liquor.
You hesitantly take a sip, not sure what to expect, and.. It just tastes like water?
“What is this?” You questioned, taking another small sip and taking a closer look at the mysterious liquid whilst swirling it around in the glass.
“Water, dumbass. You need this more than anything.”
