Came Here To Make Bad Jokes

Sarcasm and Puns

[x-x-lostboy-x-x]

Resin casts of my teeth.

[melaninacorpse]

[sincereglomp-blog]

a) how will you cut your nails

b) how will you remove it

[paradoxicallygrey]

c) Why would you do this

[ahfistinggloryartholes-blog]

d) what made them decide 53 was the place to stop

[thecutestofthecute]

My friend saw on Animal Planet that Golden Retriever’s mouths are so soft they can carry eggs without breaking them, so she tested it. 

[foie]

I am tearing up

[ethernallymeaningless-deactivat]

[spilleddiaspora-deactivated2014]

[bbycas-deactivated20190121]

every superhero movie

[when-the-blood-comes-home]

[notoutbacksteakhouse]

you’ve got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in your head that you’re stressing about for absolutely no logical reason

[420moshdad]

hey i heard u like bad girls, i dont mean to brag or anything but im really really bad. at everything.

[ruinedchildhood]

[jakemalik]

me when i’m not ok but I don’t want people to worry about me

[elizabethoslen]

i hate it when my “friends” just dismiss something i’m really passionate about like “oh you’re talking about that again” like shut up don’t ruin this for me do you know how many times i’ve pretended to care or even genuinely tried to get interested in what you like????? the least you could do is fake it rather than making me feel like a burden

[beyonseh]

[yugien-a-deactivated20211111]

Reblog for a pick up line

I promise to get to each and every one of you.

[wisekelp]

Repost this anywhere

[crowisgone-deactivated20230422]

Imagine being pregnant in new york

and your husband gets a cab for you and you’re rushing to the hospital when

"wELCOME TO THE CASH CAB"

[arc520-deactivated20250811]

[fasterfood]

its time for a R E D  L I G H T…child?

[baratheonning-blog]

[awkward-crystal]

Sent the text of “Shrek is Love” to my girlfriend