haven’t drawn for a month, so here’s merrill

JBB: An Artblog!

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Not today Justin

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$LAYYYTER
Cosmic Funnies
art blog(derogatory)

#extradirty
Xuebing Du

shark vs the universe

JVL
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styofa doing anything
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
AnasAbdin

izzy's playlists!
h
almost home
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

Andulka
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@notsoencrypted
haven’t drawn for a month, so here’s merrill
Is there Anything Better in cat wrangling than meeting The Cat Who Will Not Be Pet, putting in copious work for several hours to Achieve Pets, meeting the cat again several MONTHS later for only the second time, and immediately being allowed to pet again?
No.
No, there is not.
stopppp everyone absolutely needs to see this
So my dad was the assistant music editor on Tarzan, and idk if it was Bring Your Kid to Work Day or something but one day he did just that so there I was, this incredibly small 1st grader, in an absolutely cavernous recording studio with a full orchestra and a giant screen playing the scene they were taping the score for, and my little brain couldn't handle the big music and the big movie happening all at once so I started crying and it was the first time music ever brought me to tears and it was too much to take in so we stepped out of the studio and ran directly into Phil Collins, who looked to me very much like my dad, and in my delicate emotional state I became immediately convinced that my dad had been copied and nobody had told me so I started crying harder, and Phil Collins said something that was probably meant to be calming but it was with a British accent so I thought there was a copy of my dad in every country and I absolutely lost it at the notion that other kids would get to have my dad, and my dad ended up having to carry me back to the car.
So.
Sorry for crying very loudly at you Phil Collins, your work on Tarzan was so moving it triggered my first emotional breakdown.
the only thing that could top that clip is that story
Queen Anora’s full armor from my last drawing
Based on Loghain’s armor here and Anora’s dress with the ferelden sigil on the chest
Bonus: If I buy a book I get to keep it! The publisher can't turn up at my house at random and confiscate all the books I bought.
Putting a clover on Mantis' head. She holds so still when she realizes what we're doing XD
There is a very specific kind of sadness in realizing your parents loved you, and still did not always know how to meet your emotional needs.
Because it is confusing. It would almost feel easier if there was no love there at all. But sometimes there was love. In the way they tried to protect you. In the sacrifices they made. In the ways they worried about you, cared for you, wanted a good life for you.
And at the same time, there were still things missing.
Maybe comfort did not come in the way you needed it to. Maybe your feelings were not always understood, or noticed, or handled gently. Maybe you learned to keep certain parts of yourself quiet because it felt easier than trying to explain them.
That kind of hurt is difficult because it does not always come from cruelty. Sometimes it comes from people who loved you deeply, but did not know how to emotionally connect in the ways you needed. People carrying their own wounds, limitations, fears, or ways of surviving.
And you are allowed to acknowledge both truths at once.
You are allowed to recognize their love and still grieve what you needed but did not receive. Those things do not cancel each other out.
Forgiveness, for a lot of people, is not pretending nothing hurt you. It is slowly accepting that someone can love you and still fall short of understanding you completely.
That does not make your pain dramatic. It does not make them monsters either. Sometimes it just means everyone was trying with the emotional tools they had, and some of those tools were not enough.
And I think many people quietly carry guilt for still feeling hurt by parents they know tried their best. But being loved imperfectly can still leave wounds. It makes sense that it affected you.
At the same time, you do not have to stay trapped only in anger forever either. Sometimes healing looks like understanding that your parents were human before they were parents. People shaped by their own experiences, their own upbringing, their own emotional gaps.
That understanding does not erase your feelings. It just softens the sharp edges around them a little.
You deserved emotional safety. You deserved gentleness. You deserved to feel understood, comforted, and emotionally close to the people raising you.
And if they could not fully give that to you, it is okay to mourn it.
But I hope you also know this: the love you needed is still something you can experience in your life. Through other people. Through chosen family. Through the way you learn to treat yourself now.
The story does not end at what you did or did not receive growing up.
You are still allowed softness after all of it 🤍
Seeker
happy mermay to this beautiful mermai-- what do you mean that's a seal. that's literally a mermaid look at her
(links // tip jar!)
Major human pastimes:
frying dough
classifying things and then arguing about the classifications
Happy Pride
"There are certain things that certain people just can't do. These Silverwash eyes of mine mean that no matter how hard I study, I'll never become a witch."
Maomao going meow meow
Vivienne my beloved
One of dragon age's most underappreciated characters