I'm easily moved by everything Liara so I always react strongly to her distress, I hate seeing her like this.
But I'm also a fan of the way those two are positioned in those two scenes, because I feel like the more distance they have between them, the more Liara feels okay to open up.
In the first scene, Shepard uses a Paragon interrupt to try to reassure Liara, and she says: "You're here to help. Just like always."
Shepard asks her if it's not a good thing, and she replies: "When we first met on Therum, you saved me from the geth. You fought a krogan battlemaster while I cowered. Now you're doing it again. And I'm still leaning on you for help." Shepard replies that this is what friends do, and Liara walks away, doesn't reply.
So the distance is there as they face each other in the conversation, but I believe this is the closest they can be to each other at the time, at least emotionally. Because Liara is basically confessing her truth: she needs Shepard and Shepard has become THE savior in her life. Need and guilt and self-hatred are all over her in this scene. At least, that's how it feels like to me, and I understand perfectly why, because those feelings can easily appear when you love and need someone that badly. But there's not just that, there's also the idea that Liara is unable to save herself, that without Shepard she feels she's a mess and a coward.
In the second scene, when they are so close to each other and Shepard is basically telling her to calm down and that they need to talk, that Liara has changed, Liara goes on a rant about Feron and how it would be an insult to him to stop and enjoy the scenery. It feels frantic and disconnected. Fear surrounds her.
So they're close physically, but the distance is back again, as Liara is closing herself off, no longer wanting to talk. But she does say she mourned Shepard, and I think the mission shows the grief and guilt that she has been carrying with her for far too long. And that's one of the many reasons I say a lot of characters mourned Shepard intensely, they just all had different ways of expressing it.
It's clear to me that Liara worked herself to death and took no time to deal with her feelings in a healthy way. She's not okay, and hasn't been in a very long time, since Shepard died. And obviously, she has a duty to Feron, but this is like a giant mix of everything that Liara hates about herself in this mission, so duty/responsibility is associated with cowardice/failure. And I think she's starting to believe that her intense need for others or the intense way that she loves is dooming her, because she can't save people, she can't save herself, she will let people down in a way. Liara easily gets into those cycles in her head. (and this is why her becoming the Shadow Broker matters a lot, but that's another topic!)
And again, this is only my interpretation, but even in her frantic ways, she fully acknowledges how thankful she is that Shepard is helping her and the full meaning of their presence in her life. But that is the sweet part. The bitter part is that she is also fully aware that her need is not just a want. It's overwhelming.
Needing someone like that, I believe it does say something about who you are and how you feel, regardless of the person needing you back or not. And once you know, you know.
You now have to deal with that need while also finding ways to come back to yourself, to save yourself. To me, it's the only thing that matters.
(It reminds me of the poem "The Journey" by Mary Oliver, which ends with the idea that there is a voice in our head that is our own and it tells us, as we strive "deeper and deeper into the world" that we should be determined to save the only life we could save. It can also be interpreted as not carrying a burden that shouldn't be ours to carry.
To many of us who work in healthcare or who worry about closed ones, it can be good to remind ourselves of that, even if it hurts.)
Anyway. Liara has a long way to go and the context doesn't make it easy on her, but I just want to tell her that she hasn't been a coward or a failure or a mess, but rather very brave while suffering deeply. Just want to give her a hug and tell her it's going to be okay, eventually.
