Hi I'm Deb. I've had this Mass Effect blog for more than 12 years because I'm in love with that universe and the characters
This is a trilogy and MEA appreciation blog! I also enjoy the extended canon (comics, books, etc.)
I own Mass Effect Lore. I'm working on the website but you can find this MEL folder with multiple versions of the codex, transcripts and other lore-related things I might come up with. Working on transcripts is my thing really, I'm always doing that
I will probably never change my username and icon but I don't really know why I picked omegastation, it's not my favorite location. If it was, my username would probably be tuchanka. However, Miranda is my favorite
I post critical things sometimes (tw critical as a tag) but never hate/bashing about characters, ships, MEA, etc. I also dislike and avoid comparisons
I'm a multishipper blog but I try to tag everything. I think some people follow me because they see I post Shakarian and unfollow later, so you know, be aware that I can ship Shepard and Garrus with other people, though MShep/Garrus is my fav ship
MShep is my main Shepard even if I do play FShep (currently in my second FShep playthrough). I don't think one Shepard is more canon than the other, but I am mindful of the fact that FShep is not treated the same as MShep by the wider world.
The krogan are my favorite, always <3
If you leave a nasty comment, I won't reply. I'll block you. No energy to spend on you.
cw: mental health, recovery, medical issues, chronic pain. not going into details at all but mentioning how heavy it can be.
(you don't have to read and comment. genuinely, i just don't know why but feel like sharing.)
My mental and physical health have not been great lately.
Recovery from surgery has been kicking my ass. I thought it would be fine because it's not my first rodeo and the first day was truly not that bad.
I was like "Oh I've had way worse!". But I somehow forgot that I have preexisting issues and chronic pain, so it all adds up.
But it's more than that. Lately (before the surgery, even before my holiday) pain and fatigue have made me very fed up with everything, and that worries me. I feel like I'm having a biased view of everything, like something dark is clouding my eyes and even my heart.
I don't want to change, I don't want to impose anything on anyone, I want to be kind and gentle always, but pain has made me more grumpy, tired, annoyed, prone to see the bad rather than the good.
And also being autistic has its own issues. Everything is always so intense, with so many sensory needs. It's like a pile of things I don't want to deal with but I have to.
I also really worry about going back to work in three weeks. Our boss warned us that the period between end of August till December will be difficult. The issue is, every period has been difficult. And because the sector is truly horrible rn, it's like running around, stressed af, doing a million things at the same time, fighting impossible deadlines, worrying all the time, but still having to say "Oh, but we're the lucky ones."
It's very bleak and I'm sure many people experience this right now.
I can't help but feel this is not good to me, my mental health and my nervous system but because it's worse everywhere else, what is there to do? I can't leave (right now), I don't want to say on sick leave. So it's about changing myself and how I perceive things, because I won't be able to change the system. But it's not easy. And being that fed up and in pain mean I truly have enough sometimes.
This week I talked to the nurse tending to me. She said that a year ago, she took as many painkillers as I do, and it was normal to feel the way I did, that pain can affect how we perceive the world. Still, I always say there might be a reason but not always an excuse. That's not something I'll say to others, but to myself.
Yesterday I visited my parents and explained what I usually avoid explaining about my medical issues. Got a hug from them both. Mom was also adamant that I have a right to be angry sometimes, which was… cute of her and I needed to hear that. And then they always do this thing where they somehow manage to make my favorite food appear on the table. I left feeling loved and cared for.
And that brings me to a general feeling I always have, that I am very grateful no matter what. The goal is not to compare, but I am aware that it could be way worse. I have seen way worse.
Anyway, dad asked me to tackle the issues one by one and I am doing that. It will take time because every appointment can take a while.
But time will pass anyway.
Ah well. The good thing is that I can knit a little now and do some very slow diamond painting. I have my games (I've been trying Palworld, too, it's fun), my books, some tv shows even. There's not a lack of things to do. And while I'm out of breath, I can rest on my bed. It's not the end of the world.
Fandom wise, I need to update and share some transcripts and contact the references I was given regarding a wiki for MEL (very grateful people shared and helped!!!). I'm mad at myself because I feel like I often go back to people saying something like "I haven't forgotten you but-". I'm aware it's fan stuff and I can breath a little, but still. I gotta lock in and do better. Hopefully soon.
Playing ME3 right now also makes me think about starting a Javik transcript, he's always saying interesting things lore-wise.
I love this dialogue between them and the very gentle way Wrex answers "Uh-huh. All right."
Doesn't mean things are resolved, but in this dialogue, that's it.
It shows how much he trusts Shepard because he takes them at their word and doesn't insist. In the middle of the Reaper War. He's like "it's you so I believe you or trust you to deal with it".
I love their relationship so much. Genuinely of the most moving in Mass Effect.
Mass Effect Andromeda Appreciation Week Day 4: The Andromeda Galaxy
The Moshae approaches the huge door of the vault. You follow closely behind her. “Jaal has been telling me about his experience with your crew,” she says in a casual tone.
“All good things, I hope.”
“He’s quite taken with you.” She glances at you out of the corner of her eye with a sly smile.
“He told me he feels he’s making a difference,” you say. “I’m glad he finds the work we’re doing rewarding.”
“As am I.” The Moshae puts her hand on the door’s controls. After a moment, the door opens for her.
“You can operate the door?” you ask, with raised brows. You’d known that there were angara that could operate pieces of Remnant tech. You hadn’t realized the Moshae was one of them. You probably shouldn’t have been so surprised; how else was she supposed to get in?
“It took me many years to figure it out, but yes,” she replies. “I wasn’t sure I could still do it.”
The pair of you walk down the wide corridor. There’s no sign of Remnant machines, but it looks like the plantlife of Aya has made itself at home, even in the darkness of the ruin. Spots of bioluminescent lichen dot the walls and floor.
“I haven’t brought anyone here in over twenty years,” the Moshae muses as you enter the next room. It’s massive, if beginning to break down. The left wall has crumbled, and some kind of large fern has sprouted in the exposed soil. The Moshae leads you to the controls of a holographic emitter at the center of the room. “There’s always been an active display for Aya, but we could never affect it.”
You smile. “You must be even more excited about this than I am,” you comment as you extend your hand over the control panel. SAM activates your omnitool, and the display for the vault network appears–a massive starmap that covers the entirety of the Heleus cluster.
“Good job,” you silently comment to SAM. He doesn’t respond.
The Moshae observes the starmap, expression rapt. “Yes! This is new!”
You’ve seen a map like this before, but it’s still amazing to you. There’s so many vaults, connected together with lines like constellations. How widespread was angara territory supposed to be? The scale of the Jardaan terraforming operation is mind boggling, and they had to have done it over the course of less than a couple hundred years. The Initiative’s maps of the Andromeda galaxy are over six hundred years old now, but they were nearly contemporary when they were made. The geth-technology-based surveys they were made with wouldn’t have missed activity on this scale, which means that the vaults can’t be older than six hundred years. But angara history has no record of their construction, so the Jardaan had to have been gone for at least four hundred years. Are they still out there somewhere? Is it even okay that you plan to take some of these planets for your own people when they were terraformed specifically for the angara?
It has to be; you’ll make it alright if you have to, make your presence worthwhile to the angara. Your people’s survival depends on those worlds.
You study the starmap; there are three larger symbols in addition to the connected dots of vaults. The largest is the symbol of Meridian: an equilateral triangle with a short leg radiating from each of the corners. Then there are two unembellished equilateral triangles: one solid, and one only a blinking outline. The solid one is in the correct position to be Aya. You reach up to tap it, hoping the display is interactive. The symbol becomes larger and brighter–highlighted. You’re not sure what to do with it.
“Is it similar to the vault on Eos?” the Moshae asks behind you. “Tell me, what are you seeing?”
“Very similar,” you answer. “SAM, could you overlay this starmap with the one we saw on Eos? I want to see the differences.”
The display of your omnitool changes immediately. You hold it up for the Moshae to see. The only things not on both maps are the triangle around Eos’ dot and the symbol of Meridian. “There,” you point to Meridian. “That wasn’t on the Eos map. The vaults on the network all connect to this place. It has to be the control center.”
The Moshae leans in to see your omnitool, then looks up at the large starmap in front of you. “This image was on a relic the Archon showed me. He called it Meridian. And it looks like Aya’s vault is the only one that’s fully connected to it.”
“The vault on Eos is also present, but changed,” SAM points out through your omnitool speaker. “Our interfacing with it has affected its connection.” He’s right; the triangular outline around Eos blinks as though the connection is erratic, but it is active.
“Is that your AI?” the Moshae asks, looking at your omnitool. “The one who blew up the exaltation facility?”
“Oh, yes,” you respond. “That’s SAM. He’s the reason I can interface with Remnant technology.”
“Hello, Moshae Sjefa,” SAM says.
“Hello,” the Moshae offers before going back to examining the starmap, bringing up her own wrist tool and pointing it at the map.
“What about Habitat 7, SAM?” you ask. Your father did something to the vault on that planet, you just weren’t sure what.
SAM highlights a dot on your omnitool. “Active connection to Meridian is either not established, or not detectable from Aya or Eos.”
“But my father did something to make the storm clear,” you say, trying to make sense of it.
“The storm was most likely the result of malfunctioning terraforming equipment,” SAM states. “By resetting the vault, your father was able to force the vault to stop exacerbating the storm, but likely did not reestablish its connection to Meridian.”
“Okay then.” You think for a moment. “Could you highlight the other habitats the Initiative identified? Are they all on this map?” They should be; but you should probably show Initiative leadership the evidence if they haven’t already figured it out themselves.
SAM highlights six additional dots, including Eos. You recognize the location of Voeld. The rest of them must be Havarl, Kadara, Elaaden, and the broken world that would have been the turian habitat if it hadn’t been destroyed by the Scourge. You’re going to need to visit all of them.
“So what this means is we need to get to Meridian,” you comment. “We can reactivate all the vaults from there, make them start terraforming again. We could fix what the Scourge broke; make these planets habitable again.”
“Wait,” the Moshae interjects.” The Archon knows where it is. He’s already been there.”
Or he just thinks he has. “If he was able to use it,” you reply grimly, “he would have tried to use the terraforming network to make the planets less habitable, to drive anyone living on these planets into space for easier capture. Since he hasn’t done that, either he doesn’t know how, or Meridian isn’t functional.”
“Of course…” the Moshae says as though talking to herself, “that’s why he tortured me. He thought I could help him use it.
“If he figures it out, all of us are in trouble. We have to take it from him.” You want to be unambiguous about your intentions with the Moshae.
“Agreed. Such power in the hands of such evil could mean the end of all of us.”
You’ve intercepted messages that would seem to indicate that the kett are very anti-AI, so you’re pretty sure you have time before they make any kind of breakthrough, but just to be clear, you say, “I’m going to stop him, for all our sakes.”
The Moshae gives you a firm angaran nod. “I will assist.”
“SAM, does this starmap give us an accurate location for Meridian?” you ask, knowing the answer is probably no.
“Unlikely,” SAM replies. “The metadata does not contain coordinates for Meridian the way it does for other locations on the map, and Meridian’s symbol on this map does not correspond with any known star system. It appears to be outside the galaxy’s ecliptic plane. It is possible that Meridian is not located in a star system, but it is more likely that this is an abstract representation for a control center that is designed to be mobile.”
“So we’re going to need to find it,” you confirm.
The Moshae makes a noise of comprehension. “You’re going to need that relic I saw. The Resistance might have intel on the whereabouts of the Archon’s ship. I’ll talk to Evfra and secure his full cooperation. Meet me there.”
Simpler sketch as I'm working on another tablet while traveling.
ME2 Shepard should be a mess, a walking corpse. I would've liked to see some of the stuff Cyberpunk 2077 would later do, like visual glitches, coughing up blood (classic) and her questioning her own sense of self. The Virmire survivor was completely justified in not dropping their questions on if Shepard really was Shepard, as Cerberus could've done anything. There's so much meat to bite into here.
The way Javik reacts to missions shows the ruthlessness of his cycle but I find his exchange with Garrus especially interesting, when he says the turians didn't go far enough and should have acted right away or used what they did as leverage.
Garrus replies "I think we were just trying to guarantee peace."
Javik then says:
Obviously, this has roots in the way the Prothean Empire built itself and the dichotomy (superior/subservient) they applaud. Very survival of the fittest, very much against a "static mode of existence."
But still, I do think the second sentence shows the kind of war talk passed between parents to children that allowed the Protheans to survive and go on despite the horrors of their cycle. They needed to believe that it happened for a reason and that their struggle meant something. They need to grow and to change. And if the original goal was to achieve full control of a galaxy, they were failing badly at this point in their history, when Javik was born. They were losing everything they had.
And I think it's common really. It's not just related to a war, to a cult, an empire, etc. It's nothing to mock. It's this belief that people suffer but it's not pointless, and finding strength in the fact that it's happening for a reason might be the only comfort one might have.
At this point we can refer to the great philosophers, our own beliefs, faith, etc. And it's not just about suffering, it goes to the meaning of life. Everyone has their own answers.
