crisis in progress... please hold

Julian | she/they | alarmingly queer, your aroace dream | my only personality trait is, like, swords ⚔️ | všade dobre na slovensku najhoršie či jak

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[notthelemurking]

"she's fixed now." hayden pike what the fuck did you just say about your wife

[notthelemurking]

oh. OH. OW. OUCH.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[notthelemurking]

for all that i've consumed my fair share of canon divergence happy ending coming out fics, i truly wonder what it would've looked like had shane's parents and hayden not learned the truth. had shane gone into season after season still hiding his sexuality and his partner, probably pulling further and further away from his support system as he tried to carve out as much time as possible with the man he loved. if he'd feel as ready to face another decade of hiding, even finding a bit of a thrill in it, had truly nobody known.

[notthelemurking]

oh okay bye bye good feelings i had a good few hours with u

[depsidase]

[ambatya]

[bugliest]

[woodsdyke]

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

[moringmark]

[notthelemurking]

GIVE IT UP FOR HAYDEN "BIPHOBIC" PIKE EVERYBODYYY

[beaft]

i am not a psychiatrist but i do find it really weird how autism checklists are so often focused on "outward" signs of autism rather than what is going on internally. i don't know how to explain it but "do you make eye contact with other people" feels like a much less relevant question than "how does it feel when you have to make eye contact with other people?"

[beaft]

while i'm here, the other one that always pisses me off is "do you interpret idioms literally, for example 'bull in a china shop'?"

well, no, obviously. i know what "bull in a china shop" means because that is a popular phrase with a clearly defined meaning. and if i hadn't heard it before, then i would still not interpret it literally, because it has the cadence of an idiom and i would probably be able to work out from context what it meant. what is the point of this question

[beaft]

third and final complaint: "are you good at noticing subtext?"

i feel like the problem with this question is best illustrated by a conversation i had with a friend a while back, where i said something like, "i feel very safe with you because you don't do subtle hints and you are always very straight-up with me about what you are thinking and feeling."

and he laid a hand on my shoulder and was like, look dude i'm gonna be straight up here. i am subtle with you constantly and you simply do not notice <3

[beaft]

@luckyybones hope you don't mind me screenshotting but you are actually so correct

[notthelemurking]

ilya: you eat like a picky kid

hayden: fuck you and your dead mother

[notthelemurking]

no shane, dont ignore him. its a legitimate concern. literally what has that man done but be a dick about your love life, with or even without prompting?

[notthelemurking]

no yeah yk what i do despise (book) hayden pike with my whole entire being. not only is his north american ass too fucking uppity to get over eastern european sarcasm, he's a fucking sexist and a homophobe. no shane, no matter what "reputation" your boyfriend has, your best friend who says he supports you shouldn't think you're having sex anytime you're anywhere with a closed door.

[tkserie]

A very serious metal band... very dark... very edgy.