novi

moved to @boatdads

[funkidrops]

[eclipsebykimlipmp3-deactivated2]

this is the kind of wholesome content this website desperately needs

[dr-phil-my-body]

[needsmoarcat]

[kittymudface]

It gets better—the guy is deaf, and he taught his cat the sign for “food.” So the cat’s not just saying “put that in my mouth,” it’s actually signing

[lutefiskcrowsandbeef]

Not only that, but if you notice at the beginning, the cat *gets the man’s attention* as any person who wanted to talk to a deaf/hoh individual would (well, and vice versa IME). I’ve done sign since I was 5, and generally, w/o eye contact initially, you wave a hand or lightly touch the arm (if that’s ok with the person you’re trying to converse with, of course).  Generally, adult cats meow mostly to humans, but this cat has figured out that’s not going to work and has adapted. Animal companions! They are INCREDIBLE.

[leannewoodfull]

Amazing.

[fromseveralroomsaway]

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND LOOK AT THIS CAT.

[lance-the-kanto-dragon-master]

AND THE WAY IT NODS OMG

[babyanimalgifs]

Aw, this is cute.

[ask-ickle-mod]

Honestly I can’t believe that I’m watching this right now. This is This is the sweetest most gentle and loving and pure thing I’ve ever beheld and I feel so blessed to have seen this

[ghostheathers]

Cute photos I found while stalking the BMC cast on Instagram part 2

[yes-gamer]

[manwich85-deactivated20200415]

This is the best thing I’ve seen here this year.

[slowparts]

The purest content

[friendswafffleswork]

[homophobic-slur]

[thatoneblog89-deactivated202406]

I thought this was funnier than I should have

[goddessofidiocy-deactivated2019]

what will future historians do with this 

[911official-deactivated20200526]

this is The Human Experience

[name1738]

This is our legacy

[nitramaraho]

[dirtyrotteninfidel-deactivated2]

Holy shit im dying right now..prob the best one

[christianmetalhead2112-deactiva]

This actually probably is the best one hahahaha

a lot of my faves

[braitasou]

yo if youre still taking requests could you just draw the two gaymer hugging?

yeah!! i wanted to practice my animation so here’s this!!

[dreamlightasafeather]

IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

Here is an example video

[t-pose-to-assert-gayness]

Reblog to literally save a life

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

I’ve done this.  I’m alive because of this. 

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her.  She had passed out in her room and locked the door.  He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex.  He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”.  He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge.  I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking.  He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”.  Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report.  Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me.  Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison.  The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen. 

This was 14 years ago.  

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can.  The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.”  I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.”  I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.

They’ve heard this sort of coded call before.  They’re trained for it.  They will understand what you’re saying.  Order the pizza.

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

When the whole squad is in on your shitposting shenanigans 

[melthehoneybee]

My aesthetic tbh

[skyheartstar13]

[The band cycling on a large multi-person bicycle plays “The Entertainer” as they ride.]

[stxanger-things]

[thebigbiwolf]

these kids are so ahead of their time this looks like a sketch from adult swim that was never quite finished but its so abstract and post modern theres some sort of meaning to this and im dying to figure it out before its too late

[postingwhileblack]

simple math!

[captioned-miscellaneous-videos]

Boyfriend offscreen: “Help!”

Girlfriend recording: [annoyed] “Why is this nigga calling me! [walking towards boyfriend] “What?! What?! What the fuck is you doin’?!”

Boyfriend, trying to fit a timb into another timb: “Open this really wide, and I’mma push my foot in. Please. Just grab this right here- I already took the laces out. Grab this right here, go like that, and I’mma push my foot in.”

Girlfriend: [shouting angrily] “No I’m not fuckin’ helping you! Why are you doin’ that?!”

Boyfriend: [yelling] “Because it’s cold outside! Why else would I be doing it?! Simple math! People wear timbs in 60 degrees, it’s two times lower than 60 degrees today. Two pairs of timbs then! Now help me!”

Girlfriend: “I’m not fucking helping you!”

Boyfriend: “What are you my girlfriend for then?”

Girlfriend: [shouting] “You look stupid, my guy! I’m helping you not look stupid!”

Boyfriend: “No, I’mma look fleek.”

Girlfriend: “No one does that shit!”

Boyfriend: “Exactly!”

Girlfriend: “Because they don’t fit!”

Boyfriend: “Unique!” 

Girlfriend: “That’s not- you not doin’ math! They don’t fit, my guy! You got timbs the same size, they don’t fit!” 

Boyfriend: “Open just- “

Girlfriend: “Noooooo!”

Boyfriend: “You not even gonna try?”

Girlfriend: “No?!”

Boyfriend: “I got this, don’t worry.”

Girlfriend: “Cuz that’s stupidity!”

Boyfriend: “Go get me some butter.”

[blairwitchh]

this is literally the height of comedy tho

[captioned-miscellaneous-videos]

Elijah: “Cristine, what are you doing?”

Christine: “Just watching TV.”

Elijah: “You’re in IKEA. It’s not on.”

[X-Files theme plays]

[omgkatsudonplease]

@galpaladvns

[fvckinrvd]

I’m shy.. but I’m nasty as fuck.