Utstott rode the evening wind like it owed him obedience. White wings cut the dimming sky, feathers catching the last copper light of the sun as it sank behind the hills. Below him, Lyon spread itself wide and stubborn, a city that refused to stand in the shadows of Paris and Marseille. Two rivers clasped it like hands that never quite let go; the Rhône quick and silver, the Saône dark and slow, curling around stone walls, timbered roofs, and narrow veins of streets already breathing out smoke and supper.
Utstott, unimpressed by the view, circled once, twice.
The bird knew how humans loved their walls. Even now, after a day’s travel, after dust and hunger and fear, they funnel themselves obediently through gates before nightfall, as if stone could truly keep the dark and wickedness out. Stupid, little ants.
Torches bloomed along the streets like low stars. Bells rang somewhere, monks marking prayer, merchants cursing time. The city smelled rich even from the air: horse dung and river mud, baking bread, old piss, roasting meat. Life layered on life.
He tipped one wing and descended.
There, by the southern road, just inside the walls a cart halted awkwardly, its horse blowing steam into the cooling air. Three humans clustered atop, small as beetles from this height.
Ivar sat in the back of the cart, half slumped against the crates. The hard wood had worked its way into every joint, every old ache, leaving him sore, exhausted and foul-tempered.
Piglet sat beside him, wrapped tight in her layers, utterly still. She stared out at the city rising before them, not with awe, not with relief, but the way prey studied a predator. Measuring its teeth. Its size. Her eyes traced the walls, the gates and the press of the many people.
And the loud one, the one who might spoil it all, was agitated, restless, all teeth and nerve, voice rising as she argued with a passing man who drunkenly staggered against their horse.
Today, of all days, was the feast of Saint John the Baptist. And the city was overcrowded, filled with pilgrims, thieves, whores and harlots.
Utstott croaked softly to himself. His humans had been trying to find a proper place to sleep, but had been failing miserably. Morale was hitting rock bottom and travel fatigue settled in with every disappointing response from inn owners: excuse-moi, we’re fully booked.
Tired humans were careless humans, Utstott knew that from experience so he kept a close eye from above.
The white raven banked low, flying the length of the street ahead of them. More inns announced themselves loudly: painted signs swinging in the breeze, lions, saints, crossed keys. Laughter spilled from open doors. Somewhere a fiddle cried. Somewhere else, someone screamed and then laughed, the sound swallowed by the city like it meant nothing.
Utstott landed briefly on a roof beam, claws scraping old wood. From here he could see them clearly now.
The cart lurched forward again, wheels groaning. The horse flicked its ears, unhappy. His savior said something low and bitter. The sharp-tongued one snapped back. The dark girl intervened, soft but firm.
Utstott watched them with a tilt of his head toward the two in the back. They did not belong to this city; they’ve been running for too long. Too used to open roads and the quietness of forests. Walls were not shelter; but a cage. But for tonight, they needed a roof over their heads.
The great feast had drawn the city inward on itself, and with such gatherings came the worst sorts of men. Drunk on wine, authority, and the certainty no-one would stop them.
Utstott spread his wings once more and circled above as the cart creaked deeper into Lyon’s streets, following the narrow path between torchlight, shadow and the inhabitants. Below him, the three figures were swallowed whole by a city famous for its wealth and saints.
.-.-.
Ivar woke before dawn because pain is a better alarm than any bells. His body felt like it had been broken down and reassembled by someone careless. His back screamed first; hot, deep, unignorable. Then his hips. Then the familiar dead weight of his legs, stiff and wrong after hours pressed against packed earth.
Hay clung to his hair, his shirt, his mouth. After many fruitless attempts to find a room, Valerie eventually caved at the last inn; her smile that usually opened doors, got them no further than the stables.
Ivar dragged in a breath through his teeth and stared up at the beams, counting heartbeats until the worst of it settled into something survivable. Sleeping on the ground always did this. Sleeping on the ground after a full day in the cart did worse.
He shifted an inch. The stable floor answered with a jolt that shot straight up his spine. His jaw tightened. He refused the sound that wanted to come out of him.
Next to him, Piglet slept curled on her side, her back facing him, cloak pulled tight, one hand fisted in the fabric like she was afraid it might run away. Her breathing was shallow but steady. She’d been awfully eager to lay next to him; the entire stable riddled with unfortunate travelers who came in too late. The place occupied more men, women, and children than horses. It was a maze of limps, snoring, and at one point during the night, a fight broke out in the next box.
Valerié lay on his other side, on her back, one arm flung over her eyes. Even asleep, she looked alert; like someone pretending to rest rather than actually doing it.
The city began to wake beyond the walls of the stable: boots on stone, a drunk still singing somewhere, the smell of freshly baked bread finally winning over the stink of horses.
Ivar pushed himself onto his elbows, slow and careful. His shoulders shook once, betraying him, then stilled. A child across from his box stared at him with large eyes, gaze pivoting between Ivar’s legs and angered glare.
He hated this morning. He hated the firm reminder that the world never forgot what his body was.
He glanced at his two maidens again. They’d slept close enough to touch and yet the distance felt like miles, and something sour twisted in his chest that had nothing to do with pain.
Feast of John the Baptist or not, Lyon had not welcomed them. The immense city had simply tolerated them.
Ivar exhaled, low and controlled, and won the staring contest between him and the curious child. He began the long work of sitting up. The day hadn’t even started yet, and already his body was demanding payment.
.-.-.
“Valerie, he’s blind as a bat.” Ivar stated non-impressed.
“I think he just pissed himself.” Piglet mentioned quietly as she pointed at the dark discoloration on the fabric of the old man’s crotch.
“I think he’s more ancient then many of my Gods,” Ivar continued scoffing, leaning heavily on his crutches as he exchanged looks with Piglet.
The reaction of Valerie’s travel companions struck her nerve; she’d spent the entire morning and afternoon searching for someone worldly and willing enough to help them set a route from Lyon to Sicily.
“This is Leodegar, an infamous mercenary back in the day-” Valerie bit back, only to be interrupted by Ivar.
“-Very far back in the day, I’d say,” he grinned, giving the croaked back old man a once over.
“Do you know the prices of maps?!” Valerie snapped back agitated, “besides I cannot read, I’m guessing neither one of you can?” She stared from Ivar to Piglet and crossed her arms, “oh wait, I know you both cannot, since I’m the translator!”
This shut both of them up, for once. Valerie turned back to what hopefully wasn’t a seniel smug, because she very much sensed his guidance would have their lives depending on it.
The old Leodegar sat on the low stone step outside the stable wall, wrapped in a cloak that had once been brown and was now every color of age. His eyes were pale and unfocused, turned slightly inward. One hand rested on a knotted stick. The other worried over a bead of his rosary, smooth from decades of rubbing.
“You want Sicily,” he said in rough, river-worn French, before Valerié had even started forming the question.
Valerié stiffened. Piglet glanced at Ivar, confused. Ivar’s brow furrowed.
“He says,” Valerié translated, carefully, “that we want to travel to Sicily.”
Leodegar’s mouth curved, not quite a smile; more like recognition. His blind eyes turned toward the people standing there.
“You lot carry road-dust and old anger. And fear that’s learned, not fresh.”
Leodegar tilted his head, listening, not to them, but to Lyon itself. Bells ringing for the feast. Drunken laughter. And beneath it all, the vast, patient breathing of the Rhône beyond the walls.
“Go south. Follow the river,” he said. “Always the river. It will teach you which way to go.”
Valerié translated, sentence by sentence. Ivar leaned forward slightly, every word catching like a hook.
“Lyon to Vienne,” Leodegar continued. “Vienne to Valence. Valence down to Arles; if the soldiers don’t decide they need your horse more than you do.”
Valerié flicked a glance at Ivar as she translated that. Piglet swallowed.
“They usually do,” Leodegar added dryly.
“When the river widens, when it stops cutting cold and starts tasting wrong; flat, heavy, then you’re close to the sea. When it tastes like salt, you’ve gone as far south as the river allows.”
Valerié frowned slightly as she translated. Piglet blinked. Ivar cocked his head.
“You can taste that far upriver?” Valerié asked for them.
Leodegar huffed a quiet laugh. “If you’ve carried wine one way and salt the other, you learn. The river tells you things, if you listen.”
“And from there?” Ivar asked in his own tongue.
Valerié passed it on.
Leodegar’s smile thinned. “From there, the world stops flowing downhill.”
He shifted, the beads at his wrist clicking softly.
“You leave the river before it leaves you,” he said. “You turn east. Toward the teeth of the earth.”
Valerié went still before translating.
“The Alps,” Leodegar said. “The Montgenèvre Pass, if you have any sense left.”
The word landed like iron. Valerié turned to them, voice tight. “He says… we must cross the Alps. Through Montgenèvre.”
“You can make it, I’ve done it twice” Leodegar went on, “but only now. Summer is your mercy. The snow has pulled back just enough to pretend it isn’t your enemy.”
He tapped his stick once against the stone.
“Wait too long and the mountains close their teeth. Cold kills faster than blades. Faster than soldiers. Faster than hunger.”
Valerié translated every word exactly. No softening this time.
Piglet’s hands trembled. “How much time do we have?”
Valerié asked.
“Weeks,” Leodegar said. “Not months. You hurry or you die up there.”
Ivar lowered his gaze, breathing slow and measured. He knew cold. He knew bone-deep killing cold too well.
Leodegar angled his blind face toward him.
“And don’t think courage will carry you over,” he added. “Only discipline. Only silence, because one harsh word and an avalanche will swipe you away. Know when to stop and turn around before your body decides for you.”
Valerié translated. Ivar nodded once.
Silence settled.
“And after the Alps?” Piglet asked quietly.
Valerié passed it on.
“After, if you survive,” Leodegar said, “Italy opens under your feet. Northern plains first. Towns that smell like grain and iron. Then south again. Always south.”
He lifted a finger.
“Rome,” he said. “Not for praying. For roads. Every road still knows how to bow there.”
Valerié translated, slower now.
“From Rome, Naples,” Leodegar continued. “Port city. Loud. Hungry. Full of men who promise more than they deliver.”
His mouth twisted.
“You barter for deck space. Don’t trust captains who won’t meet your eyes. Don’t trust men who promise fast winds.”
“And Sicily?” Valerié asked quietly.
Leodegar’s smile thinned to nothing.
“Sicily is a gamble,” he said. “She comes slow; or not at all. Don’t settle for the lowest price for the crossing, I hope you find a trustworthy captain.”
He leaned back against the stone, voice slipping into memory.
Leodegar sat as before, back to the stone, face turned toward a south only he could see. When Valerié finished translating the last of his words, he lifted one finger again; not for emphasis this time, but warning.
“I’ve told you how to go,” he said. “Now I tell you what will try to stop you.”
Valerié straightened. Piglet leaned in despite lacking the Frankia’s tongue. Ivar went still.
“Bandits,” Leodegar went on. “Not the loud kind with knives out and faces bare. The quiet ones. Men who walk like traders and smile too easily. They’ll ask where you’re headed, how far, how heavy your cart is.”
Valerié translated carefully.
“Answer wrong,” Leodegar said, “and they follow you until night. Answer right, and they do the same.”
Piglet’s mouth tightened.
“In the river valleys,” he continued, “they work in families. One distracts. One watches the horse. One waits behind you. If you hear laughter where there shouldn’t be laughter, leave the road.”
Valerié passed it on. Ivar nodded once.
“Soldiers,” Leodegar said, with a faint curl of contempt. “Worse than bandits. Bandits know they’re thieves. Soldiers pretend it’s duty.”
Valerié did not soften that.
“They’ll demand papers you don’t have. Taxes that don’t exist. Protection from dangers they invented five minutes ago. If you argue, they beat you. If you pay, they remember your face.”
Piglet whispered a small prayer under her breath.
“Never camp near a garrison,” Leodegar added. “Never drink with men who wear iron for a living. And if they offer you a kind word, run.”
Valerié translated. Ivar’s jaw flexed.
Leodegar’s fingers tightened around his stick.
“In the Alps,” he said, voice lowering, “rockfalls, wild animals, snowstorms. Paths that vanish overnight. Guides who swear they know the way and lead you straight into snow.”
Valerié hesitated, then translated.
“Don’t trust anyone who walks too lightly in the mountains,” Leodegar said. “Those are the ones already dead.”
Piglet swallowed hard.
“And the cold,” he added. “It doesn’t announce itself. It just convinces you to rest. To close your eyes. And you’ll never open them again.”
Valerié’s voice wavered on that one.
Leodegar tilted his head, listening to something far away.
“When you reach the coast,” he said, “don’t think you’re safe. Ports breed their own predators.”
Valerié translated. Piglet frowned.
“Dock thieves. Slavers. Priests who ask too many questions. Men who offer passage cheap because they don’t plan to feed you; or sell you whole.”
Piglet’s hands clenched in her sleeves. Valerié felt a chill she didn’t quite understand.
“And the sea,” Leodegar finished quietly. “Storms that rise without warning. Ships that never reach the next horizon. Gods who don’t care what you prayed before boarding.”
Silence stretched.
“Why tell us all this?” Valerié asked at last, translating herself.
Leodegar smiled, thin and tired.
“I’ve been young, foolish, in desperate need to roam the world,” he said. “I’ve had guidance, knowing the names of the teeth doesn’t stop the bite but it lets you see the mouth closing.”
Valerié translated. Ivar exhaled slowly through his nose.
Leodegar’s stick scraped once against the stone, a short, deliberate sound.
Valerié leaned in automatically. She had learned his rhythms now, when he was about to say something that mattered.
“You don’t survive this journey by being well-equipped,” the old man said. “You survive by carrying the right things. And leaving the rest behind.”
Valerié translated, softer but faithful.
Ivar shifted against the wall, attention sharpening despite the ache in his legs. Piglet’s hands folded into her sleeves.
Leodegar lifted one finger.
“Salt,” he said. “More than you think.”
Valerié repeated it. “Salt. For wounds. Food. Trade.”
The blind man nodded. “South of the Alps, salt speaks louder than coin. Gold draws knives. Salt opens doors.”
Piglet’s eyes flicked to the sack at her feet. She nodded once.
“Wool,” Leodegar went on. “Even in summer.”
Valerié frowned as she translated. “Not linen. Wool keeps you alive when you’re wet.”
The stick tapped again. “Cold doesn’t care that the sun is shining.”
Ivar exhaled slowly. That one needed no softening.
“A knife,” Leodegar said, “that you never show.”
Valerié hesitated, then passed it on. “Not for fighting. For rope. Bread. Bandages.”
Leodegar’s mouth twitched. “A proud blade gets you watched. A hidden one gets you home.”
Piglet swallowed.
“Shoes you can ruin,” he continued. “And leather scraps if you can find them.”
Valerié translated, glancing at Ivar’s legs. “The mountains eat footwear first.”
“And when your feet fail,” Leodegar added, “the rest follows.”
Silence settled, thick and practical.
“Carry something to trade that isn’t money,” he said next. “Needles. Wool strips. Iron bits.”
Valerié didn’t bother softening that one. Valerié knew.
“Coins run out,” Leodegar said. “Trade doesn’t.”
Then, quieter: “A cloth for your face.”
Piglet looked up at that.
Valerié explained. “Dust. Snow glare. Sickness. And sometimes… anonymity.”
Leodegar’s head tilted slightly, as if listening to the Rhône through memory alone.
“Food you can eat cold,” he said. “Fire draws eyes. Sometimes you don’t want eyes.”
Valerié translated slowly now. The list was becoming a weight.
Then Leodegar paused.
This pause was different.
“Pack one lie,” he said at last.
Valerié’s spine went straight. She translated word for word.
“One story,” Leodegar continued. “Where you’re going. And why.”
Piglet’s breath caught at that.
“Rehearse. Say it the same way every time,” he said. “Lies kill when they disagree.”
Valerié didn’t soften it. Didn’t look at either of them.
The stick tapped once more.
“And one thing,” Leodegar finished, “you must decide to lose...”
Valerié’s voice faltered just slightly as she translated. “...Something you won’t try to save.”
“If everything you carry matters,” Leodegar said gently, “you’ll die trying to keep it.”
The words settled between them, heavy as packed earth.
Piglet stared down at her hands.
Ivar lowered his gaze, jaw tight.
Valerié looked away, out toward the noise of Lyon.
Leodegar leaned back against the wall, list finished, as if he’d just handed them a map no one survives reading twice.
“That’s all,” he said. “The rest, the road will teach you.”
And for a moment, even the city seemed to listen to the old fool reminiscing over old memories.
Leodegar had gone quiet.
Not the thoughtful quiet from before, not the drifting-into-memory kind. This was sharper. His fingers stilled on the worn beads looped around his wrist. His head tilted; not toward them, but upward, slightly to the left, as if listening to a space that shouldn’t have held sound.
Valerié noticed first.
“What?” she asked, cautious now.
Leodegar didn’t answer her. His blind eyes narrowed, not focusing, but measuring.
The air above the stable felt different. Heavy. Pressed flat, like a held breath.
Piglet felt it then too. She drew her shawl tighter around her shoulders without knowing why.
Ivar’s jaw tightened. He didn’t look up. He didn’t need to.
Leodegar spoke slowly.
“You’re not walking alone,” he said.
Valerié frowned, then translated, softer than his tone deserved.
“He says… we won’t be alone on the road.”
Leodegar shook his head once. A small, almost amused motion. He lifted one hand, palm up, fingers crooked, as if feeling for rain that hadn’t started.
“There is something above you,” he went on. “Watching.”
Valerié hesitated. Then translated anyway, choosing her words carefully.
“He says there is… something near us. Above. Not a person.”
Piglet’s breath caught. Her eyes flicked upward, scanning rafters and shadows.
Leodegar smiled faintly, the expression of a man who had learned long ago not to trust his eyes.
“It knows the road better than you do,” he said. “Knows when to move, and when to stay still.”
Ivar’s fingers curled slowly against the wood of the cart.
Valerié swallowed. “He says… whatever it is, it knows when to act. And when not to.”
Leodegar lowered his hand.
“For that,” he added, almost kindly, “you should be grateful.”
A pause.
Then, quieter, so quiet Valerié almost didn’t translate it.
“Just remember,” Leodegar murmured, turning his blind face southward, “things that see without eyes rarely belong to men.”
Valerié let the words pass between them unchanged.
Above them, unseen, Utstott shifted once, feathers brushing air that no one else could feel.
Leodegar’s mouth twitched.
And then, just like that, the moment passed and the old man held out his hand to claim his reward for counsel and guidance.
.-.-.
A coin clinked against the cobbles and rolled to a stop by Ivar’s boot.
He didn’t move at first, just let his eyes follow it, then bent his head and murmured, “Merci,” in a voice roughened to sound humbler than he felt.
For once, his useless legs were good for something. Festival crowds were thick with pilgrims eager to prove their virtue, and a cripple in the dust made an easy target for mercy. Ivar sat low on the ground, crutches set beside him, his legs twisted awkwardly on display, because shame didn’t buy bread. It wasn’t dignity, but it worked. The coins kept coming. Ivar figured that if they wanted to stand a change during their journey towards Sicily every form of silver he could get was welcome.
Piglet stayed pressed close, knees tucked in tight, her shoulder nearly brushing his. The crowd surged and shifted around them; too many boots, too many voices, and she clung to the narrow safety of his space without ever lifting her gaze, as if looking up might let the city swallow her whole. She’d found a daisy somewhere between the stalls and was plucking it apart one petal at a time.
“I miss Stumm,” she said softly.
Ivar turned his head, slow. The name hit him like a forgotten bruise. The daisy in her hands, white, simple, looked like the ones they’d left on the grave. He realized he hadn’t thought of Stumm in weeks. Maybe longer.
“Sometimes I wish we never left that forest,” Piglet went on. “Life was hard, but… I think there were moments when I was happy, truly happy.”
She tore another petal loose.
“I’m no longer a slave, but a free woman,” she whispered, “and yet, this city-” Her voice faltered. “-I thought it would make me feel safe, like walls meant protection for once. But this place…” She glanced at the crowd, the stone, the shouting merchants, “-this place scares me to death. It’s not different then de Haar, not at all.”
He just watched her fingers shred the flowerpedals to nothing. Ivar stared straight ahead, chin lifted just enough to sell gratitude to the next passerby. A coin clinked near his knee. He murmured merci without looking.
Piglet hesitated, then spoke so softly it almost vanished beneath the noise. “Sicily,” she said. The word itself seemed to make her fold inward. “What if we never get there?”
Ivar didn’t answer right away. Leodegar’s voice rose in his memory like a curse: mountains with teeth. Soldiers. Bandits. Cold that kills faster than steel. Sea that decides for itself.
There was no comfort in lies. Ivar knew that.
“We might not,” he said at last.
Piglet’s fingers stilled around the leftover of the flower. Just for a breath.
Ivar shifted his weight, the ache in his legs flaring sharp, grounding him. She didn’t pull away.
“But,” he added, after a moment, “we’re already past places that should’ve killed us.”
Piglet looked at him then, finally.
“De Haar, a river, forests, settlements” he said. “The road north. Lyon.” His mouth twisted. “My ego.”
That earned the smallest sound from her; not a laugh, not quite, but something warmer than silence.
“I don’t know how to get you there safely,” Ivar admitted, “but I’ve made you a promise, I will always protect you.” He shrugged, rough and honest, “and our Gods must favor us, because we’ve done the impossible so far. I’m a cripple, you’re a reeking wildling, former slaves. And yet here we are.”
Ivar closed his eyes for half a heartbeat, “if we die, we die. But if we survive-” another coin landed near his foot, he ignored it, “-then Sicily will just be another place we didn’t let kill us.
Piglet nodded once, slow. The daisy in her hands was nothing now but a torn stem. She leaned closer, her shoulder pressing fully against his arm, and for the first time since Lyon had swallowed them whole, she stayed there without flinching.
Ivar murmured merci to a passerby, but the word was meant for neither coin nor crowd.
.-.-.
A/N: Yes, back to the adventurous side of the story (sorry for the delay in smut/romance, believe me I’ve written plenty more)! I must say I did use a little help with the outline of how to get them from Lyon to Sicily. Thank you googlemaps! I felt like Lyon had to be their base for a few days to collect their courage, enough supplies and finally come up with a proper travel plan travelwise. Thank you Leondegar for the route and warnings. I’m sure they are now thrilled to get going.
And… did Piglet and Ivar have a little moment just now?
I’d love to hear what you think and if you’re either on #Team Piglet or #TeamValerie
AN: After reading 1-10, I'm pretty sure I'm on the right track here. There's a TW for ED, depression, self loathing in this chapter.
[Ch1] || [ML] || [AO3] || [taglist]
Corey, dressed in faded jeans and a loose tank top that read profanity in several languages, pushed open the door to the coffee shop. The bags full of baby clothes crinkled against one another as she crammed them into the last open booth in the corner. She may have gone overboard, possibly to distract herself from the massive internal crumbling inside of her, but it was her first niece.. or nephew.
She bought clothes for both. A woman her own age approached, a smile plastered on her face in glee.
"Corey!! Peach Boba with extra pearls." Winnifred sat the pinkish orange cup in front of her, plopping down on the other side. She wore the Cafe's uniform despite being the owner. A mint-colored apron and brown button-up with a mint-colored bowtie.
"Hey, Winny. How's business? Life? Husband?" Cora stabbed the plastic top with the oversized straw and sipped on it, relishing the squishy Boba as she chewed.
"Great, great, and amazing." She leaned over, looking in the bags. Her eyebrows shot up and she glanced down at Corey's stomach. "Pregnant? Tell me all about him."
Corey laughed, shaking her head. "Its for my brother. He's having a baby... and a wedding." Her shoulders slumped, her brother's future happiness clashing with her own dreaded future.
"What?! When did this happen?" Winny asked. Her attempt to stand made the table shake and drew attention from other tables.
Corey snorted, filling her mouth with boba to avoid answering too quickly. "Last month. I only learned about it Thursday. I love being the pariah." She rolled her eyes.
"What the fuck is wrong with your family?" Winny sat back down, slumping with Corey.
"They don't like having a one-night-stand reminder every holiday?" It was meant to be a half-hearted joke but she saw the sympathetic look Winny gave her.
She reached over the table and held one of Corey's hands, rubbing her thumb over the back of it. "I wish I could adopt you. My parents are always asking about you. How's the job going?" She whispered the last part quietly, leaning toward her.
"I still enjoy it for the most part. I signed on a new supporter this week and another last week... which makes up for the two I lost this week." Corey finished off her drink, knowing her best friend would want more than that. "The one I signed a couple of months ago. Let's call him... John -- I could live off of him exclusively with the time he's booked. He's easy to talk to and be around, too."
"How's his dick game?" Winny blurted out, a mischievous glint in her eye.
Corey narrowed her eyes. "Winny."
"It's been for! ev! er! since you told me about a little action. Besides, my husband loves when I come home ready to jump him." Winny grinned, pleading with her eyes for Corey to continue.
"Fine." She sighed out with a poorly hidden smile. "The first time was.. god. I've had plenty of first times with people but his hands, his dick, even his moans still make me wet."
Corey put her head down on the table, trying to cool the heat in her cheeks. "I wanted to ride his dick so badly at his house but he told me to 'control myself'. That's only made it worse." She peaked up at Winny through her hair.
"Ooooh. Dominant and good dick. I wonder if Randy would push me around tonight." Winny wiggled in the booth, clearly thinking of everything she planned on doing tonight.
"Thanks. Now on holidays, I get to think about Randy ordering you around in the bedroom."
Cora laid in her bed, her own hands running through her hair in a soothing motion. The pang of hunger in her stomach made her muscles tense until it passed. In some sick way, she convinced herself it was punishment for developing feelings. She told herself if she held onto that feeling until tomorrow morning, she would have cleared them from her mind.
Ivar's sweet kisses from the night of the gallery flashed through her, adding a fluttering to the hunger pains. She rolled onto her stomach, squeezing her eyes shut. His mother and father had been there, both far too interested in her involvement with Ivar. The only saving grace had been James. He had whisked her away from them after several uncomfortable questions right to Ivar's side.
His perfectly tailored suit had a few wrinkles from the wheelchair -- the same wheelchair she rode him in later that night. Her dress had been rumpled up her back as he demanded she cum for him. She pressed her thighs together and glanced at the clock, grimacing when it read half past 1 AM.
Paranoia crept in behind the images-- something she had been struggling with since the unplanned sleepover. Each detail felt hand-picked by him. She doubted any control she had over situations with him. The hotel room, the sleepover, and even fucking in the bathroom stall at the gallery seemed a calculated move by him. Her fingers fisted into her hair, tugging it hard to will away the thoughts.
Her eyes went back to the bedside table, falling on her work phone this time. Normally on her day off, she would turn it off and toss it into the drawer. Her mouth went dry as it vibrated -- a text. She reached for it before she could stop herself and flipped it open.
Disappointment flooded in as she read the spam text, complete with a dodgy link. She deleted it and slammed it back down on the table. Another hunger pang racked through her body and she closed her eyes, willing herself to go to sleep. She curled into a ball, making herself as small as possible.
She laid there for hours, not sleeping. Her mind refused to let the smiles, laughs, and soft kisses of Ivar go. Her heart constricted at the thought of him.
Cora lifted her head to the sound of her work phone ringing loudly. She reached for it, failing at an attempt to tamper down the fluttering in her chest. She convinced herself that one conversation or text or word from Ivar and she'd be able to let go.
"Hello, This is Cora." She sounded exhausted and shaken.
"Cora." Ivar's sleepy voice was music to her ears. She had forgotten all about the phone call he'd scheduled. "I miss you."
She forced down the swooning feeling in her veins. "I miss you, too, Ivar. Did you sleep well?"
He hummed into the receiver then let out a sigh. "No, too many things on my mind. You?"
"The same." The phone went silent for a long time. It felt like she was basking in his presence on the phone, content. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Ivar cleared his throat. "Can we meet today? I have something I need to tell you."
Her heart lept in her chest. A thousand scenes of him absolving the contract and never wanting to see her again. "It's... I don't know. It's short notice. I have plans today."
"Oh.." His disappointment was like a knife to the gut. "How about tomorrow?"
Cora outwardly groaned. She didn't want to see him until next week -- their next appointment time. "I-I have plans through the weekend. It's my weekend off."
She heard the distinct sound of him sucking his teeth. "I wanted to do this in person but it can't be helped..."
Her heart started hammering away in her chest, too much panic filling her to contain the swift inhale. Her mind told her he was going to absolve the contract. She cleared her throat and steeled herself. "What do you mean?"
"Someone leaked the photo of the gallery. The one I asked the photographer to take of us together." He stressed, shifting around something in the background.
Cora jolted out of her bed, eyes wide. "What? I thought you said- you said it was a private photo."
"It was." He snapped at her.
A moment passed. His tone was a shock to her system, cold water on a chaotic mind.
"I'm sorry. I have people trying to find the leak and yet those idiots can't seem to find a fucking thing." Ivar sounded pissed.
His language jarred her then she found herself laughing, falling back on the bed. The movement on the other end ceased. She covered her face with the crook of her elbow, continuing to laugh.
"What is so funny? Because I would love to laugh at this situation." His tone was still biting but all it did was make her laugh harder.
"That's... I'm stressed and this is a cherry on top. Where was it leaked to?" She quieted herself, still smiling through the relief she felt of it only being one photo and not the nasty alternative her mind whispered to her.
She shouldn't be this desperate to keep him as a client, warned her mind.
"Local news. I suspect it will be picked up internationally by gossip." There was a quiet tapping noise on the other end. "My family is fairly influential. I need you to know this was not my intent."
"I believe you, Ivar. What can I expect if that happens?"
"People will become interested in you when it happens. If they find you or where you are on your days off, they will question and scrutinize every aspect of you." The tapping stopped. "I'm truly sorry for pushing you for a photograph. I wanted something to remember the... activities of that night."
Heat flushed through Cora. "Isn't that why you took my underwear?" She whispered, biting down on her lip.
"I have told you before." He purred her name out. "I am a greedy man. I needed something to hold me over until next week and you smelled fucking delicious."
Part 2 (sequel #4 to UNLEASHED, UNDENIABLE, and UNEXPECTED)
Alex + Modern Ivar
Mentions of Female Reader + Hvitserk
NSFW 18+ ONLY
If you're new here and want to catch up, just go to my pinned master list. The first chapter is UNLEASHED, then UNDENIABLE, then UNEXPECTED, and now UNPREDICTABLE...
This was supposed to be just a one-shot, but here we are. At this point, I have no idea how many chapters this will end up consiating of. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it!🔥
Summary: During a hot weekend with your classmate, Alex, and his best friend, Ivar, the two of them had their own fun together. And now, it had turned into an entire relationship between the two of them that neither of them had seen coming. Now, that reality has set in, they navigate the relationship, and all that comes along with it, the good, the bad, and the unexpected. Now that they were just getting into the swing of things and finding their groove, Ivar's ex fiance comes back into the picture, and it seems she is sure to shake things up.
Warnings, The sequel in general: Totally NSFW, Unprotected anal sex (male receiving), oral, male to male contact and more, a bad case of the feels, language, smut, with me, there is ALWAYS smut. 🤣 Each chapter will have it's own warnings.
This chapter: Language, smut, of course, oral, major case of the feels, *inaccurate medical descriptions, diagnosis, and practices,* a disgusting pervert, Ivar being Ivar
Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!
Words: I don't know, but WAY TOO MANY
*Let me know if you want on or off the tag list!*
Note from me: My apologies for how long this has taken, but hopefully, the length of this chapter will make up for it.... ok, who am I kidding? The length of this chapter needs an apology of its own, too. Oops! Sorry!
The last few days had basically been hell: hell for Ivar, hell for Alex, and really, even hell for Katia. Ivar had been trying to be the patient, understanding boyfriend, but the longer he was away from Alex, the angrier he was becoming.
After Alex had left Ivar's that night, Ivar spent most of the night trying to get him to answer his phone. He decided not to drive to Alex's apartment, no matter how tempting, because he knew if he'd been so upset that he'd left without a word, that he clearly needed the time to himself. And besides, he wasn't sure, exactly, why he'd left anyway, because he thought they'd cleared everything up when they were in the car.
He also knew that if Alex was pissed about him getting Katia out of the bathtub while she was naked, he'd have to wait until Alex was calm, because while Katia wasn't someone he wanted to be with, she was still the mother of his child, and Ivy loves her. He couldn't sit back and let something happen to her just because she wasn't dressed. He didn't see her that way anymore and wasn't even thinking about her body. Thus, he knew if that was why Alex left, then maybe it was best they didn't see each other just yet. He didn't want to say anything out of anger that he'd later regret. Just thinking about it pissed him off, and he definitely didn't need to make things way worse by actually telling Alex to kiss his ass if that's what he was mad about. No, he needed a better approach. Surely, Alex knew his feelings for him and how he wanted to be with him and him only.
Ivar had finally talked to Hvitserk and Y/N about it and got some advice. He knew Alex had talked to Y/N about everything by now. Y/N had a way of putting things into perspective for Alex.
"Look man, all I know is that I sure as fuck didn't leave my room or my comfortable bed at your place to come couch surfing a few days between Y/N's and Ubbe's just so fucking Katia would have you all to her fucking self! I'm sure she's over the fucking moon happy, thinking she's won. You better find Alex, and you better fucking fix this!" Hvitserk spat out to Ivar. "Like, how the hell did you even find yourself in this situation to begin with? You should have let her ass go back to Russia, and you could have just flown out there in the jet to see Ivy every weekend, Shit for Brains! If you'd just ever fucking listen to me, I mean, I am the big brother here, you'd be fine! But no, you fucking think you know everything. I'm telling you, you better fix this! That man loves you!"
"Hvits, you know we have the club to tend to on the weekends. It would have just not been possible to leave here every weekend. Plus, who the fuck says I want to only see my child on the weekends? Oh, and Hvits?"
"Yeah?"
"I know you haven't been sleeping on Y/N's fucking couch! Not once!" Ivar laughed.
Hvitserk snarled and...
Snatching the phone from Hvitserk, Y/N told Ivar, "Look, just go to him, what was it, Shit for Brains? Seriously, you two are so difficult and for no reason. Do you know how lucky you are to have found a love like yours? Now, don't piss it away!"
"But, umm, what if..."
"Ivar, stop. You know I've talked to him. Just go. Do you need me to come watch Ivy for you? I will."
Ivar considered it, thoughtfully, "Umm, you seriously wouldn't umm, mind?"
She sighed, "Get ready. Hvits and I are on the way. We'll be there as soon as we can. And yes, we can stay the night if you need us to."
Hvitserk elbowed her, and gave her a dirty look to which she scolded him by simply looking back at him sternly. He dropped his head and smiled. He knew he was whipped.
"Katia is already sleeping, and I just laid Ivy down. It should be pretty quiet here," Ivar told Y/N and Hvitserk, standing in his doorway about to practically jump out of his skin. "And if you need anything..."
"Yeah, yeah, we'll call you. Go already before I change my mind and take Y/N back to her place and have my way with her," Hvitserk half laughed.
"Yeah, like you won't still do that anyway here in your room," Ivar laughed. "I just ask that you wash your own sheets this time!" Ivar grinned, and patted him on the back.
"Fuck you!"
"Love you, too, brother," Ivar said as he hugged Y/N. "Seriously, thank you, Babe."
"Hey! She's not your fucking babe!" Hvitserk snarled, "Anymore at least. Not since she found the best Lothbrok," he grinned, smacking Y/N on the ass.
"Ok, ok. Enough already. Go, Ivar, and stop stalling. It's going to be ok," Y/N said, shoving him on out the door. Winking at him, she added, "Go get 'em, tiger!"
Ivar had been gone for maybe 30 minutes. Y/N and Hvitserk were settled and snuggled on the sofa together, watching TV, when they heard the sound of a bell.
"What the fuck is that?"
"Oh, it must be Katia. Alex told me she had a bell to ring if she needed something during the night and Ivar didn't hear the baby monitor," Y/N informed Hvitserk. "Stay here. I'll go check it out."
"The fuck you will! I'll go with you. She's toxic, Y/N. The last thing I need is her getting in your head. And a baby monitor? Really?" Hvitserk seemed to know her better than anyone.
"At least my stupid baby brother had enough sense to make her room downstairs and not on the same floor with his. I can only imagine the shit she'd try to pull," Hvitserk said under his breath as they got to her door.
Putting her finger to her lips, Y/N whispered, "Listen!"
Behind the closed door, they could hear Katia, "Ivar? Ivar, can you hear me? I just woke up from a really bad dream," Katia whinned. "Can you please bring me a glass of water and my pills?"
"Is this bitch fucking serious? Surely my fucking brother is not this fucking stupid and gullible!" Hvitserk's face was of complete disgust. "It's time she learned tonight."
"Hvitserk! Don't!" was all Y/N managed to get out of her mouth before he slammed the door open.
"Ivar?" Katia asked in the dark.
"Nope. Even better," Hvitserk turned on the lights.
Holding up her hands to block the bright light, Katia asked, "Hvitserk? Wh-what are you doing here?" Y/N walked in the room. "Oh and Y/N? What's going on?"
Ivar isn't here tonight, so we're playing nice. What do you want?" Hvitserk grinned, knowing she was shitting gold bricks.
"Umm, well, I had a bad dream and umm..."
"What are you, fucking 12? Roll the fuck over and go back to sleep. You don't need to call Ivar because of some damn dream!"
"Hvitserk!" Y/N scolded him.
"No, you know I'm right, Y/N, and someone needs to set her ass straight." He turned back to Katia, "He let you stay here because of Alex! Ok? Let's not forget that! Alex convinced him it would be better than you leaving for Russia again. And then, without any apparent conscious of any kind, you go and start playing all the stupid games."
"Games? What games? What are you even talking about, Hvitserk?" Katia tried playing innocent, but she quickly realized it wasn't going to work with him.
Walking a little closer to her, Hvitserk answered her, "You know, damn good and well, what I'm talking about."
"But, Hvitserk, I really d...." She began again.
"Whatever. I really don't give a fuck, anyway, so just whatever," Hvitserk cleared his throat. "Now, what did you need? When you thought it was just Ivar here?"
"Umm, I just l need uh, my medicine," she responded, sounding a bit embarrassed. "Oh, and Hvitserk?"
"Yeah?"
"Despite what you may think of me, I do love your brother, and all I want is for him to be happy."
Y/N name tried to step in front of Hvitserk, but he was too fast. He bent down above Katia, pointing his finger at her, "If that was true, you'd leave him alone. Anyone, who has any sense at all, can see my baby brother is happier than he's ever been. Like it or not, he's in love with Alex, and you, of all people, should know that when Ivar loves, he loves hard. Why would you want to destroy that? You've had your chance, Katia."
"But how can you be so sure Alex can make him happier than I can? He can't provide Ivar with a big family, like he's always wanted. I can."
"Well, for fucking starters, he's never lied to him or manipulated him. He doesn't play games with him and toy with his emotions. He just loves him. Simply. Maybe you could learn a thing or two from him, actually."
"But, Hvitserk," Katia began.
"Ok, that's enough, you two. We're obviously not making any progress like this," Y/N said, finally interrupting her. "Hvits, could you please go get her a glass of water?"
Katia was relieved that Y/N had intervened, "Thank you, Y/N. I'm not sure how much more of that I could take."
Knowing Katia had assumed wrongly of her, Y/N quickly replied, "Oh, just because he left the room doesn't mean you're in the clear. Look, he's right, and you know he is. If you truly love Ivar as much as you say you do, then finally do something selfless for him for a change, and just let him go. You know he's happy. That's why you're doing everything in your power to destroy it, and look, I understand. He's a pretty magnificent man, but you need to come to terms with the fact that your time has passed, and move on." Y/N stared straight into Katia's eyes, making her uncomfortable and causing her to look away. "Katia, I'll be straight forward with you, here," she grinned, "The truth of the matter is, I'm sick of your shit! Period. And where the boys, Alex, Ivar, nor even Hvitserk, can do anything to you, you know they'd never lay a finger on you, I can. It's not beneath me to resort to violence. So, let that sink in, why don't you?"
Hvitserk came in with the glass of water. "What the hell did I miss?" he asked as he saw the scared look on Katia's face and the snarl across Y/N's.
"Oh, nothing," Y/N looked away from her to Hvitserk. "Katia was just saying how sorry she is for all the trouble she's caused." Looking back at Katia, she asked, "Isn't that right, Katia?"
Katia swallowed, her mouth dry, and reached for the water from Hvitserk. "Oh, umm, yes? I guess?" She took her pills and drank nearly all of the water.
"Good. Now, all you need is to stop calling Ivar over a fucking dream like a little girl, and pull your shit together. Good night," Hvitserk said as they walked to the door, and he turned the lights back off. "You can still call if you need anything," he said as he began to close the door, "But, it sure as hell better be something real that you actually need and not some crybaby shit!"
Ivar got out of his car and leaned back against it, looking at Alex's front door. He started to walk toward it, but then he turned back to his car. He did that at least two more times. What if Alex was still mad? Or worse, what if Alex didn't want to see or talk to him? He knew he couldn't handle much more heartache. He was worried Alex had finally saw what he'd always felt, that he wasn't good enough. He held his head down. What the hell was he even doing here?
He turned around to his car again and opened the car door.
"Are you going to come in, or are you going to dance around in my front yard all night like a mad man?" Ivar heard from behind him.
Ivar turned around, "Oh, umm, Alex. I-I'm, umm, I was just..." Ivar stumbled over his words.
"Pacing a hole in my yard?" Alex half laughed. "Well? Are you gonna come inside?"
Ivar looked up, blushing, "I, umm, I'm sorry. Yes. If that's ok with you?"
Alex motioned at the open doorway, "Ya think?"
Ivar smiled and went to the door. He walked inside and gently closed the door behind him. He stood there at the front door, looking around nervously.
"I won't bite, ya know?" Ivar heard Alex from the kitchen. "I mean, not unless you want me to." They both laughed, and Ivar's nerves eased a little. Alex stuck his head around the corner, "Come in here with me."
Ivar walked into the kitchen and found Alex at the counter with the blender. He sat down on a stool.
"I was about to make some mixed drinks. Want one?" Alex looked at Ivar tentatively.
Ivar swallowed loudly, "Umm, yeah. Uh, yes, please." He watched Alex as he turned around and made the drinks. Alex always made some of the best mixed drinks. He was actually known for it at the bar.
He moved around in the kitchen with flow and ease. He turned back to Ivar for a quick moment and smiled a smile that could only be compared to that of an angel. Damn, Ivar loved that man! He had to make this right.
Alex poured the drinks and turned to give Ivar his. As Ivar grabbed the drink, his hand landed on top of Alex's. He didn't move it but continued to hold onto Alex's hand as they sat the drink down and stared into eachother's eyes. As they let go of the glass, Ivar held Alex's hand in his and never turned away from Alex's gaze.
Holding onto Alex's hand, Ivar pulled him around the counter until he was standing in front of him, still sitting on the stool. He put both of his hands around Alex's waist and pulled him a little closer.
"I'm so sorry," they both blurted out at the same time. "You can go first," they both said, again, at the same time, smiling.
"Ok, ok can I go first?" Ivar asked. Alex nodded his head yes.
Ivar ran his hand through his hair, "Look, Alex, I'm unbelievably sorry for everything with Katia. I promise you that I don't love her anymore. You should know this by now. I only want to be with you. I didn't mean to hurt you, and I hope you can forgive me." Ivar placed his hand on Alex's cheek, and Alex leaned into it before placing his hand over it and gently squeezing. "I'm sorry for how things must have looked. I'm so sorry. But, Alex, I don't want her. I don't love her."
"But it just looked like you did and..."
"Alex, she's the mother of my child. That's all. It's not like that. I..." Ivar interrupted.
"Ivar, let me finish." Alex dropped his head. "It just looked like you did, and Katia knew how it would look, so she just made it worse by rubbing it in my face. I'm so sorry. I overreacted, and I know that. That's the reason I left. I knew I was overreacting, but I couldn't help it, and I didn't want to say something I'd regret." Alex swallowed nervously.
"I do know you better than that, Ivar, and it's embarrassing how I acted, how I let her get under my skin. I hope you can forgive me. It was my idea to move her in, and you even warned me, and then, I turned around and still let her get between us. I'm so sorry."
Ivar was completely stunned. "I, uh, th-this isn't, umm, this isn't exactly how I thought this would go."
Alex stiffened and stepped back away from Ivar. "Oh? I'm uh, I'm sorry."
Ivar stood immediately, recognizing that Alex misunderstood him. "No. No, Alex, that's not what I meant. I, umm, I mean that umm, I was worried that you were still mad with me," he dropped his head in shame. "I know it's just a matter of time before umm, before you finally realize that I'm," he continued to stutter, "That I'm umm, just not good enough, Alex."
Alex stepped back to him, "For what? For me?"
Blushing, Ivar nodded.
"You can't be serious. Of course, you're good enough for me, Ivar! I was mad at you. That doesn't mean I'm no longer mad about you. It doesn't mean I don't want to be with you, or that I don't still love you." He placed his hand under Ivar's chin and raised his head back. "Hey, look at me."
Ivar looked into Alex's eyes, and he instantly pulled him to his chest, his arms wrapping tightly around him. "I love you. I love you so much," he softly said into Alex's ear. "Thank you for loving me." Ivar's heart swelled inside his chest. Saying that he was relieved was an understatement. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"
Alex pulled back from Ivar and held his face between his hands before leaning in to kiss him. His lips softly grazed Ivar's as they let out all the love and emotion he was feeling.
The unspoken words between them flowed effortlessly through their movements, soft kisses, and gentle touches. Completely lost in eachother, they held eachother tightly, breathing eachother in. "Damn, I've missed you," Ivar whispered.
Alex smiled, "As I have you. I don't want you to leave, but how long can you stay?"
"Y/N and Hvits are at my place. I can stay as long as long as you want."
"Umm, would you, uh, do you want to stay the night?"
Grinning, Ivar answered, "I thought you'd never ask. Of course."
Both in sweatpants, they crawled into Alex's bed. His head in his hand, propped up on his elbow behind Alex and looking down at him, Ivar softly spoke, his voice small, "Umm, Alex?" He leaned down and kissed Alex on his temple.
"Yes?"
"Umm, would it be ok if we just laid here together, and I held you in my arms?"
Alex's heart skipped a beat. "Of course. You know that's my favorite way to fall asleep."
"Well, umm, I just mean, well, I didn't want you thinking I'm just after one thing. I just want to hold you."
Alex turned in his arms and raised up and kissed him on the cheek. "After all this time, still worried about my virtue?" He placed his hand on the back of Ivar's neck, smiling.
"It's not that I don't want you," Ivar smiled back. "God knows I do. And I hope I don't disappoint you, but more than that, I've just missed you," Ivar blushed.
Alex pulled him closer and gave him a quick peck on the lips before turning back around in his arms, "I've missed you, too, and I can't think of a better way to sleep. I love snuggling with you. It'll have to be better than the last few nights."
"Oh? You, too? I haven't slept at all the last few nights," he ran his hands through Alex's hair. "Actually, I'm quite exhausted."
"Then you better get some sleep, Mister. We have a birthday party to finish planning," Alex squeezed Ivar's arm, wrapped tightly around his waist.
Warmth spread throughout Ivar's body. Alex truly was an amazing man.
As they laid there, wrapped in a blanket of love, they both finally dozed off to sleep.
Surprised, Ivar woke up the next morning to find Alex still sleeping. He glanced at the clock and noticed it was 9 am. He never slept in.
As if sensing Ivar was awake, Alex stirred in his arms. "Good morning," Alex mumbled.
"Good morning, sleepy head." They both gave a chuckle.
Alex turned, facing Ivar and kissed him. "So the clock already struck midnight, and you didn't run away, so what's on the agenda? Do you have to leave yet?" he laughed but then saw a more serious look on Ivar's face.
Ivar grinned as he pulled Alex into a kiss and then pulled away. "Well, first," he kissed Alex's cheek, "I thought," he kissed Alex's neck as he rolled over on top of him, "We could," he nibbled Alex's ear and then whispered into it, "Make up for some lost time," and he lightly bit the side of Alex's neck just below his ear, sending chills all over Alex's body.
"Oh-ok," Alex said, surprised.
Ivar raised up above him, "Is that ok with you?"
"Definitely," he reached to the table beside the bed, as Ivar rolled to his side, and took the pills. "You have a few minutes to wait, though, don't you?"
"Of course," he smiled lovenly. "I wanted to run something by you anyway."
"Shoot," Alex ran his fingers along Ivar's bare chest.
"Well," Ivar looked down at Alex's hand, "That may be a bit distracting, but I'll do my best." He smiled and grabbed Alex's hand and brought it to his mouth where he kissed his palm. "You know how we were discussing remodeling my basement and making a playroom for Ivy?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, what would you think of making our own playroom instead? We could use one of the spare rooms upstairs for hers. I mean, she's small and wouldn't need the entire basement anyway."
"What do you mean" Alex's eyes widened, "By our own playroom?"
"Exactly what you're thinking," Ivar smiled his devilish grin. "An adult 'playroom,' if you will, for just the two of us. I'd add a keypad with a pass code to get in, and the door would lock automatically behind you. Only the two of us would have the code so we wouldn't have to worry about anyone coming in on us."
"Wow! Aren't you the naughty one! So if it's a playroom, what kind of 'toys,' would we have?" Alex asked as his curiosity grew. He grabbed a handful of Ivar's ass and squeezed. "Would there be toys I could use on you?"
Ivar gulped, "Umm, we could uh, talk about that. And umm, we'd obviously, need a bed and..."
"Not necessarily," Alex's hand moved around to the front of Ivar and grabbed his already hardening cock through his boxers. Ivar's mouth dropped open with a gasp. "We could always use the floor," he began working Ivar through his boxers, "Or the wall," he breathed hot air against Ivar's lips. His lips brushed against Ivar's as he spoke, "And isn't there some kind of work bench already there?"
"Umm humm," was all Ivar could manage to say as the heat rushed through his body.
"Well, we could use that, too. I'd really love to bend you over it." Alex laughed into his ear. "What was that?" he gently slipped his hand inside Ivar's boxers and grabbed him tightly again. "Was that a yes?"
Ivar only breathed heavily, not exactly capable of producing words as Alex's hand moved briskly along his shaft. "Like that, do you? It's been too long, humm?"
Ivar, shifting to his side, managed to reach to his waist with one hand and slip his boxers down and Alex helped him take them the rest of the way off as Ivar's heartrate increased. They then repeated the same with Alex's. Ivar moved back above Alex, caging him with his body and lubing himself up and then Alex.
As he looked down into Alex's eyes, he said, in a sultry voice, "You talk a big game. Now, it's my turn to try to render you speechless." He lined himself up with Alex's twitching entrance.
"Oh? You promise?" Alex flirted.
And with that, Ivar thrusted his hips forward, hard, straight into Alex all at once, only stopping once he bottomed out. Alex's back arched, his eyes closed as his head dug into his pillow, and he yelled out, "Oh, God!"
"No, it's still just me, Ivar, but I can understand how you could be easily confused," he answered, his evil grin looking back at Alex when his eyes sprung open.
Alex smiled at him and rubbed his hand down his back, sending chills all over him.
Ivar began slowly rocking his hips forward and back languorously, watching Alex's every expression. Feeling embarrassed, Alex covered his face, but Ivar grabbed his hand. "Don't. I want to see your beautiful face," Ivar's voice was soft. Alex felt heat rising to his cheeks. "Nothing is more sexy than knowing your pink cheeks are because of me." He placed his hand on Alex's hot cheek as he leaned down and softly kissed his lips, gently nibbling on the bottom one. "I love you."
Alex was taken back by Ivar's tenderness. Although, Ivar was usually like that with him, there was something sweeter about this that Alex couldn't quite place.
Suddenly, Ivar's movements stopped, "What's wrong, Love? Did I hurt you? Are you ok?"
Alex brushed Ivar's hair back out of his face and tucked it behind his ear lovenly. "Nothing is wrong. Actually, I'm kind of perfect, umm, and it's all because of you. Don't worry. And Ivar?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you, too."
Ivar suddenly felt different somehow. He wasn't sure what was happening, but he knew he just wanted to please Alex. That's all that really mattered to him; not even his own pleasure and release, and that was new to him during sex. He'd always wanted to please Alex, but this was different because he wasn't the least bit concerned about himself.
He slowly began his movements again, never taking his eyes away from Alex's. With every slow stroke into Alex, he just enjoyed the closeness. He interlocked his hand with Alex's that was laying beside him as he rubbed the side of it with his thumb. He held most of his weight on the same elbow as his other hand feathered across Alex's chest, causing goosebumps to appear.
"I can't get enough of the effects I have on your body," Ivar smiled. He ran his fingers lightly across Alex's chest again, admiring, not just the definition, but the flushed red color. "It's intoxicating." All the while, his soft touches were driving Alex wild with desire.
His steady, long, slow stokes into Alex were building the tension in Alex's gut and he knew he was close already. "Maybe you should go a little harder or faster," Alex moaned. "I don.., umm, I don't know how much longer I can last and I want you to finish, too," Alex practically growled the last part.
"Don't worry about me. I'm fine. Just let go. This is about you, not me. I just want to pleasure you. I'm not worried about myself, Love."
"But, Ivar, you deserve to..."
"Shhh," Ivar's lips crashed into Alex's with overwhelming passion. Alex grabbed a handful of Ivar's hair with his free hand and held him forcefully in place, not wanting to break the kiss. They breathed eachother in as their lips massaged the other's. Ivar's hand trailed down Alex's torso to his swollen, throbing cock.
Alex quickly moved his hand out of Ivar's hair and grabbed Ivar's wrist to stop him. Breaking their kiss, he studdered, "N-Not yet. I-I'm too close and sensitive. I want this to last as long as it can."
Nodding in agreance, Ivar moved his hand back up Alex's sweaty chest, stopping to squeeze his nipple between his fingers. Alex's eyes rolled into the back of his head. Ivar continued his feather like touches back up to Alex's cheek, where he rubbed his thumb across Alex's mouth, his plump lips popping lose beneath Ivar's thumb. Smiling at how red his lips were from the kissing, he did it again.
He stared into Alex's eyes intensely, while still slowly moving himself in and out of Alex as his tight walls clinched around him.
Alex took a moment to let his mind wander. He knew that would help him last a few minutes longer, too, and God knows how he wanted it to last! He was enjoying how good he was feeling just a little too much.
He hadn't thought, before now, how erotic it could be with Ivar if they did it all this slowly. But he was surprised. As wonderful as things had been with Ivar, he always remembered how he was when it came to sex. Alex remembered, on more than one occasion, actually, how Ivar had even skipped eating because he was going to have sex with some girl and getting off had always been one of his main priorities.
This was why everyone was so shocked when he'd settled down with Katia. Nobody could believe he was giving up all the one night stands. If Alex was being honest, that was even one of his worries about Katia now. He knew how important she had been to Ivar for him to have given up all that scattered ass.
Now, for Ivar to say he was only concerned about pleasing him and wasn't even worried about himself, Alex knew that it was a major deal. As he thought about the significance, he realized just what Ivar meant by it. He began to really understand just what he meant to Ivar, and he was overcome with emotions. He held back his full emotions, though. He knew that tears during sex with Ivar would not go over well.
He squeezed Ivar's hand, and as Ivar asked, "Are you sure you're ok? Do you need me to stop?" But, not answering Ivar, Alex pulled Ivar to him, hot and sweaty, naked chest against hot and sweaty, naked, chest, and kissed Ivar.
First, he gently grazed his lips, still looking deeply into his eyes, but as he got a taste of Ivar's sweet mouth, he parted his lips with his tongue and let it enter Ivar's mouth to explore. His hand held the side of Ivar's face as the intensity of the kiss increased and their passion grew.
Their breathing sped up, and Ivar reached down between them and grabbed Alex again. He began moving his hand up and down on Alex's length in rhythm with his thrusts, causing Alex to thrust his hips up into Ivar. Alex broke their kiss as he moaned and groaned with pleasure.
Ivar watched intently as Alex's body whithed beneath him, and his face contorted. Alex clawed down Ivar's back, causing his pumping to falter, and his head fell forward, as Alex mumbled out, "Ivar!" between panting.
Ivar continued with his relentless slow movements of hips into Alex as Alex gasped for air. Alex found it so incredibly erotic when he opened his eyes to find Ivar still staring him down as if he was going to devour him like his next meal. His heart skipped a beat. The fierce look in Ivar's eyes made Alex sweat as his toes curled, his legs stiffened, and his back arched again. He dropped his hand from Ivar and gripped tightly into the sheets as his other hand squeezed Ivar's, threatening to stop all blood flow to Ivar's fingers.
Ivar smiled and bit his lip as he realized just how beautiful Alex was as he was coming completely undone. He watched Alex's every muscle tighten and twitch as he slowly drove into him before pulling nearly out and then slowly doing it all over again. He continued to tug on Alex with his sweaty hand acting as lube, his knuckles brushing against Alex's stomach, causing Alex to gasp. As he pressed himself into Alex, inch by inch, Alex made noises that even Alex, himself, did not recognize.
Ivar had never seen a more attractive sight than Alex laying beneath him, squirming and whimpering, unable to form a complete, coherent thought. As he grinned at how he had, indeed, rendered Alex speechless, Alex moaned out, "IVAR! I'm com-coming!" as his chest heaved, and his hand practically dug a hole into the mattress. After reaching his boiling point, Alex's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he lost all control and before he knew it, white streams of his cum shot between their hot, sweaty bodies. Alex started to apologize to Ivar, but Ivar collapsed on top of him, still inside him and ignoring the mess between them, and kissed Alex with overpowering emotions. Alex felt the mixture of love and desire, passion and extasy all wrapped up in the sweet kiss.
Resting his forehead against Alex's, some hair stuck to the side of his face from sweat, Ivar barely broke the kiss and breathed Alex in. He let go of his grip on Alex's hand, and he brought both of his hands to either side of Alex's face. Pushing Alex's hair back away from his face repeatedly for a few seconds, Ivar stared into Alex's eyes again for a long moment before kissing him softly again. Alex's heart melted at Ivar's intense tenderness. It was truly the icing on the cake.
"That was amazing, Love," Ivar softly spoke, almost in a whisper, as he broke their kiss.
Alex cupped his cheek. Desperately trying to catch his breath, he began, "How can you even say that? You haven't had your turn yet." Feeling Ivar still hard and still inside himself, Alex then added, "You know, just because I've already finished doesn't mean you can't keep going. I can handle it."
"Shhh. I told you, this isn't about me. I'm fine. It was amazing just watching you. I enjoy seeing how you react to me. I just wanted to please you."
"Oh, so it's just a power trip for you, humm?" Alex smiled jokingly and then gulped when he saw Ivar's serious expression spread across his face.
"No. I umm, I just love you that much," Ivar dropped his head into the nape of Alex's neck and then turned and kissed his neck with his hot, wet lips. "I just love you."
Alex immediately wrapped his arms around Ivar and held him tightly, "And I love you." He knew he'd think about this entire thing later and analyze the shit out of it. It was so much more than just hot sex with his hot boyfriend. But for now, he'd just enjoy his wonderful, vulnerable, hot boyfriend laying in his arms.
Wild emotions ripped through Ivar like a storm. Of all of the incredible sexual moments he'd had with Alex before, this was, by far, the most unbelievable. And yes, how odd that he hadn't even had his turn, as Alex had put it, but it wasn't even important to him! He just laid there, tightly snuggled up in Alex's arms, and that's all he cared about right now.
Interrupting Ivar's thoughts, Alex, asked, "Hey, all those questions if I'm ok? What about you? Are you ok? You're kind of worrying me."
Ivar raised his head so he could look at Alex again, "I am wonderful, Love," he smiled, warmly. "Umm, you make me, umm," he studdered, "You make me the man I've always wanted to be."
Alex was speechless. Again. As Ivar continued, "Just let me lay here with you. Just let me hold you and just breathe you in."
Alex let Ivar's touching words wash over him like a warm spring in chilly air. He held Ivar even a bit tighter, unable to respond to such tenderness with words. He kissed the top of Ivar's head and ran his fingers through his hair as Ivar snuggled back into the nape of his neck.
They laid like that until they both slowly dozed back off to sleep.
To their surprise, they didn't wake up for another hour or so. After more sweet caresses and gentle kisses, they showered and got dressed for the day. It took a lot longer than usual because they just weren't able to keep their hands and lips off of eachother. It was like it had been during their first days of being a couple, taking every and any opportunity to touch and feel the other.
"I don't want this to ever end," Ivar smiled shyly at Alex as his face flushed light pink.
"Well, it doesn't have to," Alex responded with a sweet kiss to Ivar's cheek.
Ivar had spoken with Hvitserk earlier. He and Y/N had decided to spend the rest of the weekend with Ivy while Sara worked with Katia. Taking their turn to spoil her was how he'd put it. They'd also volunteered to work at the bar for he and Alex that night. "Y/N thinks you guys just need some more alone time."
Ivar had been concerned about Hvitserk working so closely with alcohol, but he reassured him that he'd be fine because he'd be distracted with the work, and he would have Y/N there for extra support. Only after speaking with Y/N directly and giving her very specific directions did Ivar finally agree to it.
"So, we have the day together? That's awesome! We've finally got some time to ourselves. What do you want to do?" Alex asked him, excitedly.
Ivar raised his eyebrows and grinned at Alex.
Shocked, Alex answered, "You can't be serious."
He walked to Alex, put his arms around his waist, and yanked him to him forcefully as Alex tried to catch his breath. He gave Alex a light kiss, "First, I want to do, again, what we did this morning." He smiled and kissed him on his cheek. "Then, I suppose, we could go see what's going on in town, if you want." He lovenly kissed Alex's jawline. "After that, I want to take you out to dinner somewhere nice," he licked up the side of Alex's neck. "And then, I want to BE dinner. Nothing too crazy. What do you think?" They both laughed.
Alex then realized how very serious Ivar was as their lips smashed into eachother's, their hands interlocked, and Ivar was slowly walking him backwards, toward his room.
After they spent the rest of the morning in Alex's bed, enjoying eachother, they finally emerged from their blissful haze and actually left Alex's. There was a carnival in town, so they decided to go check it out.
They felt like teenagers again. They played games, ate too much carnival food such as cotton candy and funnel cakes, and, after much convincing that the rides were safe on Alex's part, rode a few of the rides.
As they were in line to get drinks after their last ride, they ran into one of Alex's and Y/N's friends from class. He was with his sister and her two children. "Hey! Alex! How are you? Who is your friend?"
Alex introduced them and they chatted while in line. He was surprised that the two of them were there, but without a kid.
"So the two of you just came to have fun by yourselves?"
Ivar, feeling, surprisingly, a bit territorial of Alex for a reason he couldn't quite pinpoint, answered, holding up their interlocked hands, "Well, this is kind of a date weekend for the two of us. Our daughter is with my brother." He smiled devilishly, and Alex didn't miss it.
Alex was shocked by Ivar's choice of words when referring to Ivy. "Our daughter." It made him feel especially warm and proud.
"Oh, umm," Alex's friend, Paul, answered, "Alex, I umm, I didn't know you were, umm.."
"In love?" Ivar interjected with his intimidating smirk.
Paul looked at Ivar and then back to Alex, "And wow, you two have a child?"
"Yes, her name is Ivy. Her birthday is actually this upcoming week," Alex answered, hoping to calm whatever was going on with Ivar.
"You should come to her party, and bring, who is that? Your children?" Ivar interrupted, to Alex's complete surprise.
"No, they're my niece and nephew and that's," pointing to the woman with the kids, Paul continued, "My sister. My boyfriend and I actually just broke up because he wanted children, and I don't. You guys don't think you're too young to already have a child yourselves? Doesn't that interfere with your relationship? And which of you is her actual, real dad?"
Ivar grinded his teeth together, showing his clinched jaw, and looked to Alex to answer, knowing it was best he didn't at the moment.
"Like Ivar said, she's both of ours. We're both her real dad," Alex squeezed Ivar's hand. "And no, we're not too young. This means we're still young enough to play with her. And she's part of our relationship. She makes everything between us even that more special. I'm sorry you didn't want to experience that with your partner." He raised Ivar's hand that he was still holding and kissed the back of it.
Ivar felt so proud of how Alex answered Paul's questions. Seriously, who did this guy think he was? With his most intimating smirk, Ivar asked, "So, you think you'd like to come to the party next Saturday?" quickly changing the subject.
"I'll talk to my sister and let you know Monday in class, Alex?" Paul finally got the hint.
"Sounds great and I'll bring you an invitation."
He walked away, and Alex turned to Ivar, "What was that all about?"
"What do you mean?" Ivar played innocent.
Alex just looked at him. "What?" Ivar smiled.
"You know exactly what."
"Well, it's obvious he wants you."
Shocked, Alex answered, "What the? Huh? No way! We're just friends. And I didn't even know he was interested in men until right now. "
"Yeah, and now that he's seen you with me, he thinks he has a chance," Ivar snarled.
"Ivar, you seriously have nothing to worry about."
"Oh, I know," Ivar grinned, "I would have never invited him to Ivy's party if I'd thought otherwise." He kissed Alex on the cheek.
"So you were serious?" Alex asked incredulously.
"Of course. You know, keep your friends close and all that shit?" Ivar laughed.
Alex rolled his eyes and took the drinks from the cashier as they walked away. "So Ivy's our daughter, humm?"
Taking his drink, Ivar asked, "Well? Isnt she?"
The rest of the day, into the evening, was spent with them just enjoying eachother's company. Ivar watched Alex's joyful smiles and giggles, and grabbed him up, completely off his feet, to hug him several times. His playfulness was contagious, and Ivar couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so carefree and happy.
He watched Alex play some of the games and how frustrated he'd get when he didn't win. It was really cute. Alex play punched him in the arm, "Stop laughing at me! It's not funny."
Ivar grinned, "Yes, it actually is."
Alex rolled his eyes and continued playing, determined to win. Ivar realized that he was more in love with Alex now than when they first started dating. He didn't know how that was even possible because he'd already never felt like this with anyone else before, but it was true. He'd give his life for Alex. Next to Ivy, there was nobody else on this Earth that he loved more. It kind of scared him, but more so, he was just thrilled to have finally found his soul mate. And that was exactly it. That was why he'd been different with Alex that morning. That's why he didn't care about himself. Alex was his soul mate, and he'd spend the rest of his life making him happy as long as Alex allowed it.
Feeling too emotional for their surroundings, he pushed everything to the back of his mind to deal with later and tapped Alex on the shoulder. "Here, let me show you how it's done."
"What?"
"Watch and learn, Love. Watch and learn." He gave the attendant his money, and she gave him three darts. Looking at Alex and grinning, he threw the first one. He hit one of the balloons, and it pooped.
"You've got to be kidding me," Alex sighed.
"How many do I have to pop to win?" Ivar smiled at the attendant.
"All three for your choice of prize or one more for one of the small stuffed animals."
"Go big or go home. Right, Alex?"
Alex rolled his eyes, "If you say so, but hitting all three isn't as easy as it looks, Ivar."
"Well, let's try and see," Ivar was sure he could get all three. He and Hvitserk used to play this exact game with darts and cans in their backyard when they were younger. When they got too brave and started aiming at cans on eachother's heads, Aslaug stepped in and took the darts away from them, telling them how dangerous and irresponsible it was. It was for this reason that neither of them ever told her about how they'd snuck the darts from her kitchen cabinet and played, secretly, resulting in Ivar having an unwanted ear piercing. He smirked at the memory of how scared Hvitserk had been and how he'd milked it for all it was worth, basically having Hvitserk wait on him hand and foot for the next week until Hvitserk caught on to what he'd been doing.
Ivar aimed and thew the second dart and then the third, popping both balloons. He turned to Alex, "What were you saying? It's not as easy as it looks, humm?"
Alex stood, dumbfounded, "Oh, shut up."
"Well, pick your prize, Love."
Alex smiled and kissed Ivar on his cheek as his face lit up. He picked out a huge, stuffed, pink bear.
Smiling as Alex wrapped his arms around the fuzzy bear, Ivar asked, "So, pink huh? Where are you gonna put it?"
Alex looked at him and laughed, "What? You don't think pink's my color?" He held the bear up to his face and smiled innocently. After laughing at Ivar's curious face, Alex finally said, "Duh, Ivar! This bright pink bear isn't for me! I think it's cute, and I have to admit, I love how soft it is," he cleared his throat as he noticed the strange look in Ivar's eyes, "But it's for Ivy, obviously."
"Oh? Umm, yeah, obviously," Ivar mocked him, smiling.
"It is. That's why I was so frustrated that I kept missing the damn balloons," Alex sighed. "I just thought this would be a nice birthday gift for her from this great day we've had together." And there it was again, that strange look in Ivar's eyes, making Alex nervous. "Umm, did I uh, did I say something wrong? Are you ok? Umm, are we ok?"
Ivar was lost in his thoughts. "Umm, Ivar?" Alex stepped closer and placed his hand on Ivar's shoulder. "Hey, what's going on?"
"Oh, umm," Ivar shook his head as if to snap himself out of whatever trance he was in, "What?"
"Ivar, what's wrong?"
"Wrong? What? Nothing is wrong. Seriously, absolutely nothing."
"Where were you just now? You worried me. You know you can talk to me."
Looking Alex deeply in the eyes, Ivar placed the beer on the counter beside them and pulled him close to him. He wrapped his arms around Alex's waist tightly. Alex wasn't sure what was going on, but he liked it. Ivar finally moved his right hand to Alex's cheek while the other still held him. Just as Alex was beginning to feel even more nervous, Ivar whispered, "I love you," and gave Alex a sweet, passionate kiss, causing him to feel weak in the knees.
When Ivar pulled away from the kiss and rested his head on Alex's, Alex looked up in a daze, licking his lips as if he could still taste the kiss. He wasn't sure what the strange look had been about or why this was how Ivar reacted when asked about it, but he was too lost in a haze to think about it any further.
Still looking into his eyes and practically panting for air, Ivar whispered, "We should go. I've got reservations for us."
They went back to Alex's to shower and change for what Ivar said would be a nice dinner. They made sure to take their showers in Alex's two separate bathrooms because Ivar said he didn't want to miss their reservations, and he knew if they were together, they definitely wouldn't be leaving on time, if at all. They both laughed in agreement and went to get ready.
Alex finally came into the living room where Ivar was waiting for him. When he saw Alex in his shiny, black suit and opened, white, collared shirt, he gasped.
"What? Do I look ridiculous?"
Moving to his feet and immediately by Alex's side, "No, never. You look quite the opposite, actually. You look stunning."
As Alex's face flushed red, he looked Ivar up and down. He stood there in a dark, grey suit with the collar also open to it. Alex answered, "Well, you don't look too shabby yourself."
Ivar blushed and told him, "Well, I'd really like to kiss you. You don't know how badly. You're so smoldering hot and quite frankly, irresistible, but umm," he licked his lips, "Like I said earlier, I don't want to miss our reservations. The driver is already out front, waiting for us."
They arrived at a very elegant seafood restaurant just on the outskirts of town. Ivar knew Alex would love it, sushi being his favorite of favorite foods, so he wasn't at all surprised at Alex's reaction.
"Oh my God! Are you serious? You got us reservations here?"
Ivar simply smiled back at him.
"You know how long I've wanted to come here. How did you even get the reservations? Every time I've tried, the closest date is always like six months out. At best."
"Well, I know a guy who knows a guy," Ivar laughed. "You ready?" But Alex was already jumping out of the car before the driver had even opened his own door to get out. "It's ok, Mike. We'll manage. Thank you."
Dinner was great and their conversation flowed easily, as it always had. They talked and laughed as they ate what Alex said was the best sushi he'd ever tasted and drank some of the most expensive wine. Alex had protested about the wine, but Ivar said, "I want only the best for you. Don't worry about the price. That's none of your concern. Now, drink."
"Yes, sir," Alex smiled warmly, turning up his glass.
As their dinner was nearly over, the lighting in the place got a bit dimmer, and strobe lights came on, illuminating a dance floor. Alex's face instantly lit up as he looked at the dance floor and then back to Ivar. "Don't even think about it, Love. It's not happening," Ivar hadn't even given him a chance to ask.
Alex looked at him with pouty eyes as he saw several other couples make their way to the dance floor, and Ivar glared at him. "Ok, ok. You're not ready," Alex's eyes casted downward, he quietly said, "I understand." He took a big gulp of the last of his wine. "We should probably go then," Alex said, placing his glass back on the table and standing.
"Wait. What? No," Ivar panicked. He hadn't meant to hurt Alex's feelings. But he may have been too vague with his response. "I"m not ashamed of you if that's what you're thinking. I-I'm, ugh, I just..."
"It's ok, Ivar. I'll meet you in the car." Alex began to leave before his emotions were too obvious and took over. "Where you can be with me, and nobody sees you. I've got to get out of here!"
Ivar was immediately up and by Alex's side. He placed his hands on either side of Alex's cheeks, making Alex look him straight in the eyes. "Hey, hey. Wait. Calm down. What is it, Love? Why would you even think I give a fuck about people seeing us together? You know I love you, and I could care less what anyone else thinks about that."
Alex blushed and pulled back from Ivar. "Well, it's obvious that you're embarrassed by even the thought of dancing with me." He cleared his throat, "So, you're off the hook. You don't have to." Alex looked away from him.
"Alex, I'm not embarrassed by you. I'm umm," he began to stutter, and Alex looked back at him, confused. "I'm embarrassed at the thought of dancing in front of all these people. You know I can't dance."
Alex's snarl softened into a smile. "Oh, Ivar," he placed his hand on Ivar's cheek,"You don't have to do anything fancy, and we could wait for a slow song. Nobody is paying us any attention." Ivar leaned into Alex's hand. "But it's ok. Let's just go. I want you to myself anyway."
Ivar knew he'd hurt Alex's feelings, and he felt really bad about it. It hadn't been his intentions. He started to walk with Alex, reaching down to hold his hand, and then he suddenly stopped in his tracks. He pulled Alex to him. "I'm not going to get in my head about this. You want to dance, let's go dance." He kissed Alex on the cheek and turned back around and pulled Alex in his direction.
"Wait. Ivar. No, it's ok," Alex said as he was trailing behind Ivar, but Ivar didn't even acknowledge he'd spoken and continued walking until they reached the dance floor.
As Ivar stepped onto the floor, Alex stood there in shock. Ivar held his hand out and said, "Well, come on, Love. What are you waiting on?"
"Umm, ok. I guess we're doing this," and Alex joined Ivar who pulled him flesh with his body and wrapped his arms around Alex's waist. "What changed, Ivar?"
"Umm, I just realized what I already knew. If I'm with you, umm, well, nothing else matters." He placed his head in the bend of Alex's neck and rested his head on his shoulder as their two bodies began to sway in sync.
Then, a familiar song began to play. "All My Life." That was the song that Ivar had said made him think of Alex, and he instantly smiled. He raised his head up as he rested his cheek against Alex's. With his left arm around Alex's back and shoulders, he squeezed him a little tighter. His right hand held Alex's, and he brought it up between them, against his chest, and held it there, leaning down and kissing the back of Alex's hand.
Ivar began humming along with the song as they slowly danced. Alex's heart was pounding so hard he was sure Ivar could feel it against his own chest. Then, as if an angel singing a hymn from the heavens, Ivar began to softly sing along into Alex's ear. "All my life I've prayed for someone like you. And I thank God that I finally found you..." A single tear slowly rolled down Alex's cheek. Ivar never sang in front of anyone intentionally, and Alex knew this. To say he was surprised that Ivar was singing, not only to himself, but directly to him, right in his ear, was a major understatement. Alex didn't say a word but just listened to the beautiful, angelic sound.
As the song was ending, Ivar turned his head toward Alex. As Alex froze, Ivar leaned down and gently kissed his lips. It was only a matter of seconds before Alex was kissing him back, both lost completely in the other.
For a moment, it was as if the two of them were the only ones in the room. Their dancing stopped and all movement, as well, except for their kiss.
Eventually, Alex noticed the song had stopped, and now there was a more upbeat song playing. He slowly opened his eyes and reluctantly pulled a little away from Ivar's delicious lips. Around them, he saw the people dancing in rhythm along with the fast music while he and Ivar stood motionless, forehead against forehead, arm in arm, hand in hand, bodies still tightly snug against eachother.
Alex looked at Ivar, who hadn't taken his eyes off of him, as he smiled and said, "We're the only ones not moving, aren't we, Love?"
Blushing, Alex answered, "Yes."
"We should probably go now," Ivar laughed, and the two of them walked back to the table to get their suit jackets. Ivar leading the way, hand in hand, they walked out to find their driver and left for Alex's place.
The car ride to Alex's was intense. Ivar scooted closer to Alex and wrapped his arm around him, pulling him close. "I want you so badly," he whispered into Alex's ear and licked down his neck with a gentle graze of his teeth, causing Alex to shiver.
"The feeling is mutual," Alex softly said back to him. Placing his hand on Ivar's cheek, he leaned over and kissed him quickly on his other cheek. "I can't wait to get you home."
The rest of the ride was spent with gentle touches, heavy breathing, intense stares, and deep kisses. Just as they both felt they could take no more, they finally arrived at Alex's.
As Alex finally unlocked the door, Ivar practically shoved him into the apartment, backwards into the wall, frantically kissing him. He was instantly removing Alex's suit jacket and then his own. As they dropped to the floor, Alex leaned forward and locked the door behind Ivar. "I've seriously missed this," Alex softly said just as Ivar's lips crashed into him again.
Pieces of their clothing went flying, one by one, as they made their way to Alex's room. "I'm all yours," Alex said between kisses, "Have your way with me."
Standing in the kitchen and trying not to sound as sad as he actually felt, Alex said, "Well, I guess we're back to reality, huh?"
"What do you mean? This entire weekend has been our reality, Alex."
Alex hesitated, "Well, you know what I mean. You leaving to go back home, and me just dropping by to visit you and Ivy after class."
Ivar didn't really get what Alex was insinuating.
"Ivar, umm," Alex's hands were sweaty as he tried to put everything in the best way he could without hurting Ivar, "I think I should give you three some space. You know, just give Katia the time she really needs to accept that we're together no matter what kind of fit she pulls, and let her see that it won't change even if I'm not always there."
Ivar's mouth just dropped as he listened to Alex in disbelief. "Also, maybe it will do her some good for me to not be there as much and her maybe feeling like I'm constantly rubbing it in her face. Maybe that's why she got so defensive and territorial over you to begin with."
Ivar couldn't believe how selfless Alex was, selfless, yes, but it was a very naive way of of thinking.
He stood up and walked around the counter and placed his hand on Alex's shoulder, "Love, how very thoughtful of you. Really, it's one thing I really love about you. But, umm, you do know who we're talking about here, dont you? You're so very considerate, but I honestly believe she's going to do whatever she thinks will win me over whether you're there or not." He kissed Alex on the forehead. "And I, personally, would prefer you're there with me. Maybe the better choice is that I talk to her again, and make sure she remembers that she's only there on borrowed time."
Alex shrugged his shoulders.
"Well, I understand you being apprehensive. How about this? What if I talk to her, and we just play it by ear. If you think things are too tense and would prefer to come back home, I won't stop you. You're already here a couple of nights a week anyway, so if you absolutely have to add another or two, I'll try my best to understand and not take it personally. This will be a busy week anyway with getting everything finished for Ivy's birthday party next weekend."
Ivar pulled Alex into a hug. "Just promise me that you won't umm, leave for good, that you won't leave me." Ivar shuddered at even the thought. "I can't handle even thinking about life without you. I love you, and I need you in my life. Always."
Alex choked back a tear, "Ivar, please don't tell me that after the amazing weekend we've had, you actually still think I could leave you," Alex said into Ivar's chest, still wrapped in his strong arms.
Ivar pulled him back and looked into his eyes, "I, umm, I feel it's just a matter of time before you see what I already know." Ivar dropped his head and looked away.
"And just what is that, exactly?" Alex gently turned Ivar's head back toward him so he could see his face.
Trying to avert Alex's piercing eyes but eventually giving in, Ivar finally answered him. "Umm, well, that you-you're umm, you're too good for me and deserve better." His face flushed bright red as he tried to pull away from Alex, but Alex tightened his grip around Ivar's waist.
Placing his hand on Ivar's cheek, Alex told him, "Ivar, what are you talking about? There's never been anyone more perfect for me. My love for you isn't that shallow, and I can't see me happier with anyone else on this planet. I love you. Ok? That's not going to change over some ridiculous argument or anything like that." He pulled Ivar to him and gave him a tight hug. "Do not worry about such things. You're stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere. You can't get rid of me that easily," Alex laughed.
Ivar smiled despite himself. Alex's words helped him, but he knew the thought would remain in the back of his head. He'd just have to push it far back and try to ignore it.
Ivar was right. The next week was really busy. No matter how much Katia protested, and Alex couldn't tell if she was being sincere or not, Ivar pulled out all the stops for his baby girl. Katia told him how she was too young for anything to matter to her, and that she wouldn't remember any of it anyway, but Ivar insisted that nothing was too big or too much for his princess.
Ivy loved bouncing, so Ivar rented out a small, indoor trampoline park for the entire Saturday afternoon. There wasn't a large amount of people coming to the party, just close friends and family, but Ivar also had a catering company lined up to bring food.
Ivar spoke to Katia as he'd told Alex he would. She didn't say much. She just listened to him. He wasn't sure she really accepted the gravity of his words, so he told her, "Katia, I get that you wanted things to work out a different way and I'm sorry it hasn't, but you're going to have to accept this. It's not going to change. I also need you to understand that Ivy is the reason youre here at all. I can't have you living in my home, and this is temporary, remember, and treating Alex the way you have. It will not be tolerated anymore." Katia had only nodded her head and told him ok. He saw her expression chnage, but she nevwr said anything else. That made Ivar a bit nervous for what she really meant, but he decided to just leave it alone. For now.
Ivar and Alex spent most of their evenings that week at the trampoline park, decorating for the party. Alex had went home to his own place almost every night, against Ivar's will, but Ivar didn't protest against it like he said he wouldn't.
Admittedly, that had been very difficult for Ivar, so he was extremely pleased when Alex told him, "Do you mind if I stay at your place tonight? I'm honestly just too tired for us to go all the way back to my place when yours is so much closer."
"Oh, so it's just a matter of proximity, humm? That's the only reason you'll finally stay with me?" Ivar mused.
"Oh, you know better than that," Alex smiled. "I mean, yes, your place is closer, but umm, I also miss you."
Blushing, Ivar pulled him close and gave him a kiss, "Well, let's go."
To Alex's surprise, Katia had seemed mostly nice all week when the three of them had been together. She did seem a bit on edge, but he'd noticed, just when he thought she may say something, she'd retreated to her room, saying how she was really tired suddenly. She hadn't said or done anything out of the way. Yet. He knew he'd never trust her again. But he also hadn't stayed over night all week either, so he knew this would be the true test.
When the two of them arrived at Ivar's, Alex hesitated by the car door. Ivar walked over to him, "Everything ok, Love?"
Wiping his sweaty hands on his pants legs, Alex answered, "I, umm, well, I just don't want any problems. I hope she's already in bed."
Ivar hugged him and reassured him, "You have just as much a right to be here as she does. This is my house and if I have to remind her, I will. You don't have anything to worry about, Love. I told you, she seemed to understand everything when I talked to her. You'll be fine."
Alex gave him a quick kiss and told him, "Thank you, and I'm sorry for adding more stress for you."
Ivar grabbed his hand and told him not to worry about it as they headed to the front door.
Katia was in the kitchen as they walked inside. "Hey, Ivar, sweetheart," Alex just squeezed Ivar's hand as he heard her, "I made some of your favorite food for dinner and was just cleaning my plate. Please come in, and have a seat. I'll make your plate. I figured you'd be really tired."
She continued talking as the two of them stood at the kitchen counter behind her. Ivar cleared his throat as Katia turned around. "Alex is staying the night because you're right. We're exhausted."
Her eyes widened as Ivar pulled a stool out for Alex, and the two of them sat down. "Umm, ok. Uh, hey, Alex. Would you like a plate, too?" Katia asked him as she sat Ivar's plate in front of him.
Alex looked to Ivar, who nodded to him, then answered, "Umm, sure. Thank you, Katia."
She made Alex's plate and gave it to him. "Umm, Ivar, you can clean up here when you two are finished? I'm going to bed, and Ivy's already asleep in her room."
"Umm, uh, sure. Thank you, again, for dinner, Katia. And umm, Ivy?" Ivar asked her.
"Sara took her up before she left. Umm, good night, guys." Katia left the room without another word.
Alex stared blankly at Ivar who had the same expression on his face. They sat for a moment before Ivar finally said, "Think she is finally getting the picture and understanding that you're not going anywhere?"
They both sat for another moment, and as Alex smiled, they both said at the same time, "No way!" They laughed and finished their meal.
After eating, they cleaned up the kitchen together and then went to bed. It was only minutes before they were wrapped in eachother's arms, passionately kissing. Ivar pulled away and softly said, between panting, "I missed you."
"We were just together Sunday, Ivar."
"I know. A lifetime ago. I've missed you," he laughed and kissed Alex again, wondering if he would even last until he could get Ivar's boxers and sweats off of his glorious, hot body.
It was finally the day of Ivy's party. They closed the bar for the night to be able to properly celebrate. You would have thought it was Ivar's Odin himself was coming to visit or something. He was running around in nearly a panic.
"Ivar," Alex stopped in front of him and placed his hands on his shoulders, "I know it's her first birthday, but it's going to be perfect. Everything is going to be fine. I've got everything in the car already. Breathe."
"But what about her dress for the pictures?"
"I have it."
"And the other clothes that she can mess up when she gets her birthday cake and to play in?"
"I've got that, too."
"And her shoes? And oh my God, I almost forgot my camera. How am I going to take pictures if I forget my camera?"
"Ivar, I have her shoes and your camera and your camera bag along with the charger and even batteries as a backup. I've got it. Just relax."
"What about..."
"Ivar, the candles, lighter, and knife to cut the cake all comes with the cake order. Remember?"
Ivar finally stepped back and sat on a stool at the kitchen counter. Alex smiled at him as he saw him take a deep breath and run his hand down his face.
"Chill. We got this."
At that moment, Katia came out of her room with Ivy. "Dada!" Ivar was by Katia's side immediately, as Ivy reached for him, and took her into his arms.
"She's ready. I just need my purse, and I'll be ready, too."
"How's daddy's big girl? Humm? Are you ready to celebrate?" Ivar kissed her on top of her head, and she smiled up at him. "Happy birthday, my little princess."
As Katia came back out of her room, Alex looked over to her and saw his same expression of adoration spread across her face. It unnerved him, but he looked back at Ivar and Ivy and instantly felt better. He knew now wasn't the time. Breaking him from his thoughts, Ivar asked, "Shall we go, now?"
"Actually, can I give Ivy her gift from me first? Well, I guess it's from us, really, isn't it?" He laughed. Ivar had forgotten about it, and looking at his watch, he told him yes.
Alex ran upstairs and came back down, quickly, with the big, pink bear Ivar had won for him the Saturday before. Ivar took Ivy over to Alex in the living room floor as Katia stood and watched.
"You want to see what Alex got for you, Sweetheart?"
"What we got for her," Alex corrected him.
Ivy reached for Alex, saying, "Ale!"
Ivar stood her in front of the huge stuffed bear, holding her sides, and she looked up at them both and giggled. She flopped forward with her arms stretched wide, saying "Mine."
Ivar and Alex told her yes, and she enjoyed rubbing it by moving her face back and forth into it. It was so cute, Ivar kissed Alex, and told him, "Thank you, Love. That was so thoughtful to think of her during our date."
Katia cleared her throat, and Ivar looked over to her, still standing and watching, critically. He saw the look of disgust across her face. He glared at her, but didn't say anything. "I'm going on out, guys." She said rolling her eyes.
Alex completely ignored her and continued playing and laughing with Ivy. Ivar clinched his teeth together to prevent himself from saying anything to her on Ivy's birthday. He didn't want to ruin her day before it had really even begun.
Alex, knowing this and seeing the look of murder across Ivar's face, finally said, "I think we should get going, right, Ivar? We don't want her to be late for her own party."
Ivar, recognizing Alex was right, scooped Ivy up and into his arms and told her it was time to go. She only giggled at him. They finally got Ivy in the car and headed to the trampoline park.
Aslaug was already there and greeted them at the door. She took Ivy to change her clothes for pictures as Alex and Ivar unloaded the car. Katia came in with her.
For as long as Alex had known Ivar, he'd had an eye for capturing the perfect picture. He just naturally knew how to take the simplest scene and angle the camera in such a way that the lighting would look chosen and fine tuned, and he'd then produce the most beautiful pictures, people always being his favorite thing to photograph. You could always see his passion for photography in his finished product, but with Ivy as the subject, Alex knew the pictures were going to be outstanding.
Aslaug brought Ivy out, and Ivar had her place her on the mat with the small, colorful balls that he'd brought over from the ball pit. Her dress was purple velvet trimmed in sparkling black with tights and shoes to match. As Alex watched her pick up one of the balls and smile too widely for her small face, he couldn't deny how absolutely adorable she looked. He looked over to Ivar, who exuded love and excitement mixed with pride and a ball of nerves, as he snapped picture after picture. Alex stepped to him and softly said, "She's absolutely gorgeous, Ivar." Ivar glanced at him and smiled. "Just like her daddy," Alex added as he kissed Ivar on his cheek, causing him to blush.
At that moment, Ivy threw the ball towards them and then clapped her hands as Ivar continued snapping away.
Alex rolled the ball back to her and said, "Catch, Sweetheart." As the ball rolled right up to her, she grabbed it and said, "Ale!" melting Alex's heart.
Aslaug covered her mouth in surprise, "I didn't know she could say your name, Alex. That's precious." She winked and smiled at Alex, thoroughly surprising him as he felt his cheeks redden.
"Ale!" Ivy said again, this time reaching toward him.
"Aww, she wants you, Alex. You should go to her. I'm sure Ivar will make some incredible shots of the two of you."
Still surprised, Alex answered, "Oh, uh, no. This is Ivy's day. That's ok. I'll just watch from here."
Ivar turned to him as Ivy threw another ball in their direction, laughing and clapping. "She's right, Love. Ivy wants to play with you. It will make for some sweet photos. I mean, if you want to."
"Ale!" Ivy reached for him again. "Puh-ease," she motioned for him to come to her.
"That's another new word, sweetie," Alex encouraged her. "You're such a smart girl." He sat with her, and they began rolling the balls back and forth, Ivy's small giggles filling the room. Ivar's heart swelled as he continued snapping pictures.
Katia entered the room and stood, watching. Aslaug noticed how she was visibly on edge, and she could only assume why. Aslaug stepped closer to her. "Ivar will take photos with anyone else who wants them with Ivy, too, Dear. You should be next," Aslaug said softly as she placed her hand on Katia's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.
"Thank you," Katia batted away tears.
"Are you ok?" Aslaug asked, genuinely concerned.
"It's umm, you know. It's uh, it's just hard. I'm trying, but it's just so hard."
"Oh, I know, Dear. Just take it one day at a time."
"I know I really messed things up, and it's too late, now. Watching him, umm, it just breaks my heart. That should've been me. I'll never find anyone who loves me like he did, and I just threw it away like it was nothing."
Aslaug hugged her, "Oh, Katia. Dear, never say never. You have no idea what the future holds."
Katia's eyes lit up. Was it possible that Aslaug wanted them back together, too? Oh, of course she did. Alex can't give her anymore grandchildren. That's basically what Aslaug was saying, right? Maybe she should continue her plan to make Alex's life difficult enough that he'd just finally leave without Ivar ever even knowing she'd done it. She'd be there for Ivar afterwards, and he'd see how much she truly loves him.
Without warning, Katia went to stand at the side of the mat where Ivy and Alex sat, playing. "Umm, could I get some pictures with our daughter, too?" She asked, looking at Ivar.
Surprised at her tone, he answered, "Sure, in just a moment when she's finished with Alex."
Alex looked up at Katia and then to Ivar. Feeling bad for the way she'd just thrown Ivar in the middle of whatever game she was playing at now, he said, "Umm, no. It's ok. We can take more pictures later. I need to get up from here anyway before my legs fall asleep." He nervously laughed as he stood.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Alex," Katia began with false sweetness dripping from her words, "I can definitely wait until you're finished."
He walked to Ivar, as Ivy called for him several times. "No, you go ahead. It's fine. Ivy, we'll play again shortly. It's mommy's turn now." When he reached Ivar, he sat down beside him with a sigh.
"Thank you, Love. I'm sorry. That was so rude."
"It's ok. She's Ivy's mom. I can understand her wanting to be with her."
"And this is just another reason I love you," Ivar smiled.
People began coming, so Alex left Ivar to greet them. Ivy's birthday gifts began to pile up as people passed the gift table to go pose for photos. Alex loved that Ivar got to use one of his favorite pass times with his beloved daughter.
As he watched them and all the cute faces Ivy was making, a voice interrupted his thoughts. "Hey, Alex. You remember my sister, Emilie, don't you?"
Alex turned to see Paul, from class, with his sister and her two kids. "Hey, Paul. I'm surprised you actually came. Come on in. The kids are getting ready to go jump. Finally." Pointing to Aslaug, he told him, "That's Ivar's mom. See her for the socks and have a great time."
Paul's sister stuck her hand out to shake Alex's, "Hi, umm, he insisted that we were invited and should come for the kids to enjoy themselves. I hope it's ok."
"It's definitely ok. Ivar invited you guys personally last weekend." Alex motioned toward Aslaug for them to get socks.
Suddenly, the kids went running to the jump space. There weren't many, maybe 8 or 10, and all so tiny, but they nearly knocked Ivar down as he was walking with Ivy in his arms, toward Alex. "Hey, hey, guys, slow it down some," Ivar said to them in vain as they passed.
Just as Ivar reached Alex, the front door swung open. There stood Sigurd, a young toddler, maybe 2 or 3 years old, and a pregnant, blonde girl. Ivar stopped in his tracks, in complete disbelief. "Hi, Ivar. Umm, this is Anja, my girlfriend, and this little guy is Mika."
"What the fuck are you doing here, Sigurd?"
"Nice to see you, too, little brother. Hey, Alex. And uh, Mom invited us."
"Of course she did," Ivar shook his head. He pointed his finger in Sigurd's face, "I promise you, if you do or say anything to ruin my Ivy's birthday, I will personally end you. I'll mutilate and dismember your body so badly that not even mom will be able to identify your mangled body in the morgue. I'll fucking gut you myself!Understood?" Alex gulped and Anja swallowed loudly. Ivar turned to her, "Nice to meet you, Anja. You're welcome to come in. Get some socks for Mika and let him play with the other kids." He glanced at Alex, "I'll be back. I'm taking Ivy to play."
Alex began to speak, but just at that moment, Hvitserk walked up. As he turned to Alex, he noticed who was standing on front of him. "What the fuck!" Trying to disregard Sigurd, Hvitserk said, "Alex, I was coming to tell you that your mom is here and was looking for you, but before I leave you," he turned to Sigurd, "You better not start your shit with Ivar today. You understand me? I won't hesitate to kick your fucking ass right here in front of," he looked to Anja, "Your girl and your kid and whoever the fuck else wants to watch. Got it?"
Sigurd smiled and began to speak, but Hvitserk held his hand up to his face, "Save it," and he walked away.
Sigurd told Anja, "That was my other brother, Hvitserk. Isn't he lovely?"
"Wow! When you told me you weren't too popular with your brothers, you weren't joking, were you?"
-
The party seemed to be going well. Everyone was talking and laughing and the kids were still jumping. Alex left Ivar and Ivy to go get a glass of water.
As Alex turned to go back, he noticed Katia with Ivar and Ivy, so he stopped. He stood and watched them. He knew she needed to spend time with them together, too, but it sure stung.
Alex then felt an arm on his shoulders and a hand on gently squeeze. "It's a wonderful thing you're doing for him, Sweetie," his mom's voice said softly beside him. "That's true love. I know it's not easy, but Ivy can only benefit from the three of you loving her like you do and doing your best to get along."
"Thanks mom. It's, umm, well, Katia doesn't always make it the easiest."
"Oh, I'm sure. Just be strong. She's just testing you. And Alex?"
"Yes, mom?" he answered, watching Ivar and Katia walk along the trampoline, holding Ivy's hands so she can easily jump.
"You know how much that man loves you, don't you?" Completely surprised at what he'd heard her say, he turned to look at her. "Because everyone else around you two, including Katia, can see it. Have faith in that, sweetheart. He's not going anywhere." She kissed him on his temple and walked back to his dad.
Alex just stood there and let his mom's words wash over him. He felt really proud at how accepting she clearly was of the whole situation of him being with a man and, now, one who had a child and a crazy ex. It warmed his heart, and she just didn't know just how badly he'd needed to hear everything she said.
As he watched Ivar and Katia more, he noticed how she just actually seemed to be there for Ivy. Several times she'd placed her hand on Ivar's arm or shoulder, and he subtly pulled away from her each time. She appeared to just stop trying to get his attention and began to focus hers on her baby girl. Things didn't seem so bad when she was with Ivar like that, just as Ivy's mom and nothing more. He sincerely hoped they'd eventually get to a place when that really was all that was there.
"Is that broad the mom of your daughter?" Paul was suddenly at Alex's side, disturbing his thoughts.
"Umm, yeah. That's Katia, Ivar's ex and Ivy's mom."
"Woah! Man! I thought she was your child. So her mom is his ex?"
Annoyed, Alex simply answered, "Yes."
"Wow, man. I'm impressed. I don't know how you do it. That would kill me, seeing my man with his ex and their baby. How do you not feel like the third wheel?" He looked over to Alex, "I guess I mean, the fourth wheel. I mean, look at them. The three of them look like a happy little family. I'd never known they weren't still together had I not known who you are to him. Dude! I'm amazed that you don't just feel like crawling under a rock somewhere. You must really love him, huh?"
Alex could only hope that Paul meant well, but his words hurt like a double edged sword. He was just a bit daft and obviously, completely without tact. Alex began to walk away from him before he lost his cool as he heard Ivar call his name. He turned to see Ivy in Katia's arms, but reaching for him as she called out, "Ale! Puh-ease! Ale!" How could he say no to that?
Ivar motioned for him to come to them and then, to his surprise, so did Katia.
Alex joined them back on the trampoline mat, leaving Paul where he stood, and Katia instantly said to him, "She really wants you, Alex. You want to take her?"
He tried to hide his surprise with Katia's generosity as he held his arms out. Ivy practically jumped to him, and she giggled as they laughed at her.
Alex and Katia each held one of Ivy's hands and let her jump up and down. The smile across her face was contagious. Alex tried to ignore how nervous he was at Katia's kindness. Surely, this was sincere and not just another way to maneuver herself into Ivar's life the way she wanted to be. He smiled at her, and she smiled back, looking over his shoulders. Alex turned to see what she was looking at, and he saw Y/N and Hvitserk standing there, pretending not to be watching them.
Of course, Hvitserk had said something to her. That definitely explained her change in attitude. It made Alex feel sick, but as he looked at Ivar's smiling face, watching them getting along for the sake of their love for his daughter, he couldn't really do or say anything. Now, wasn't the time.
Hvitserk brought Ivar his camera and winked at Alex. Ivar instantly began snapping more photos. Defeated, Alex gave in and just enjoyed the moment. No matter how fake it actually was.
Unbeknownst to them, Sigurd was watching them. "I can't tell, exactly, which one is faking it. Is it Katia or Alex?" he snidely asked Ubbe.
"Oh, it's definitely Katia. Don't you remember how she's always been? Don't let the kid fool you. She's still just as manipulative as she was back then."
"Is Ivar still a blinded fool?"
"I honestly don't think he is. He's in love with Alex, and her shit doesn't seem to phase him anymore."
"Yeah, this thing with Alex? When did that happen? Who would've thought our little brother would be a queer?"
Ubbe smacked him in the back of the head, "Don't start your shit, or I promise you, I'll.."
"Beat my ass yourself?" Sigurd finished Ubbe's sentence. Ubbe smiled and nodded yes. "Actually, I see Ivar differently. He does look genuinely happy and in love. It's fucking disgusting." They both laughed.
The rest of the party had been a lot of fun. Alex got his turn with Ivar's camera when Ivar sat with Ivy and helped her open her gifts. She clapped, smiled, and giggled at nearly every gift. It was precious, and Alex was proud Ivar trusted him to capture the moment as Ivar had been teaching him a little about photography.
By the time everyone had eaten and had cake, several people were already leaving. Ivar invited whoever wanted to come back to his place for, "the adult part of the party," and they began packing up to leave. Alex and Ivar both were really happy that Ivar had the foresight to have paid the little extra for someone else to clean up after the party and bring it all back to Ivar's. They were both pretty tired.
As they made their way to the door, they were met by Alex's parents. Thank you, Son, for having us. We enjoyed our time with you all, but I think we're going to head on home," his mom told Ivar as she hugged him and kissed his cheek.
"Aww, won't you drop by my place for a bit? We'd love to have you. Just have one drink with us, and then, we'll let you go if you want,"
She looked to Alex and then to his dad, who both nodded. "Well, if you're sure we won't be intruding. I know most of your guests will be your family, Ivar."
"Mama Hogh, you're Alex's family, therefore, you two are my family as well," he said as he hugged her again. "You've always been my family, but you didn't realize that you seriously do have a second son, now?" Ivar laughed.
Alex felt his heart swell. He didn't have words for how Ivar's words made him feel, but he sure did love hearing them. He grabbed Ivar's hand and kissed his knuckles as they headed to the cars.
Once at Ivar's, Alex scanned the room. The few who came back were really just Ivar's family and Alex's parents. As he continued looking around, he noticed Paul sitting on the sofa. He was surprised, but Ivar had actually invited everyone so he walked over to him. "Hi Paul."
Paul stood, "Umm, I didn't realize this was just a family thing, Alex. I'm sorry. I'm gonna head out."
Alex handed him a beer, "Don't worry about it. You were invited just like everyone else." He took the drink and sat back down.
Ivar took Ivy to her bedroom upstairs. She didn't even wake up when he got her out of the car. He knew she'd be tired after such a long day, but he was kind of surprised at just how tired. Once he had her settled in her bed, he leaned down and kissed her forehead, "Happy birthday, Baby Girl. I love you."
As he walked to her door and gently closed it behind him, he turned into Alex. "What a day, huh?" he said as he smiled at the sweetness he'd just witnessed.
"What?" Ivar shyly asked.
"You know how I love seeing you with Ivy. That's all." Ivar's cheeks reddened, but he didn't say a word. "Actually, I just wanted to let you know that Paul is here, too. I didn't know how you'd feel about it, so I just wanted to tell you."
Ivar's jaw clinched as he spoke through his teeth, "I told you what he's after. You just watch yourself around him. I'd hate to have to dismember him." He didn't even smile as the words rolled so easily off his lips. "I don't trust him, but it's ok. I mean, I did invite everyone." He then backed Alex into the wall and kissed him. "He's just jealous that he can't do that," he laughed.
In a bit of a daze, Alex smiled. "He definitely can't. That would be gross." They both laughed and returned to the party.
Everyone was talking, laughing, and having a good time. Alex looked around and decided to pick up the empty bottles and take them out to the recycle bin in the garage. From the kitchen, talking with Ubbe and Hvitserk, Ivar saw him and turned to offer to help. Alex told him not to worry about it, that he could get it, so Ivar continued his conversation with his brothers.
As Alex rounded the corner with the box of empty beer bottles, he heard Katia and Aslaug talking. Instinctively, he stopped and listened. "Yeah, well, I know, but how could Alex ever provide you with any more grandchildren, Aslaug? I know Ivar has always wanted nothing more than to have a home full of little ones running around. I can give him that. And I know that would make you just as happy as it would him. You know he still loves me. He'll always love me. I gave him his first child."
"I, umm, well, I can't say if you're right or not," Alex heard Aslaug's response. "I know he'll always love you in his special way, Katia, but.." she stopped talking when Alex stumbled just outside the door, causing the bottles to bang together. "What was that?" Aslaug asked Katia as Katia basically disregarded her.
"I don't know, but you were saying you also think Ivar still loves me? Doesn't that mean he just needs to hear it from you? Maybe he just needs to know how you feel about him being with Alex, a man of all people. What was he thinking? I'm sure if he knew how you really feel, he wouldn't be so sure about their relationship. I mean, if that's what you want to call it." Katia continued talking as Aslaug moved around the work table in the garage, toward the door. "I mean, don't you think you should tell Ivar the truth about what you think about him and Alex?"
"What? Oh, uh, umm-humm," Aslaug was finally standing at the doorway just as Alex was stepping through it, and they nearly ran into eachother. "Oh! Alex!"
His eyes full of tears that he was desperately trying to hold back, he stepped around her and placed the box of empty beer bottles on the table. "Umm, I was, uh, just bringing this to the recycle bin. Umm, I-I'm uh, I didn't mean to umm, to interrupt your umm, conversation." Alex quickly sat the box down and turned to walk out.
"Oh, Alex, Dear," Aslaug began, but Alex held his hand up, palm facing her, in an effort to tell her not to waste her voice and to back off. He turned and immediately walked out of the garage, hearing both Aslaug and Katia calling after him.
As he entered the bathroom in the hallway, he faintly heard Katia's lies, "Alex, come back. I'm sorry. I can explain. It's not what you think."
He didn't bother to open the door or to answer her. He knew he needed to pull it together. This was not the time for Ivar to learn of the shit Katia and his own mom were spitting about the two of them.
It completely broke Alex with the cold and heartless way Katia had spoken about him as if she were discussing the weather and that Aslaug never once even attempted to defend him or even her own son. He could at least spare Ivar from the same pain, at least for now.
He wondered if what Katia had said was true. Did Ivar still love her? Is that why he had agreed to let her stay? Was she the one Ivar should be with after everything? She was right about one thing, though, for sure. He definitely couldn't give Ivar more children. They'd never talked about any long term goals. He didn't know if Ivar really longed for more children or not. How could he stand in the way of that if it was really what he wanted?
Standing in front of the mirror, hands gripping the sides of the sink, Alex looked at himself and wiped his tears with the back of his hand. Flipping on the water, he splashed cold water on his face. "Get a grip, Alex. You've got this," he lied to himself.
After a few more minutes in the bathroom, he finally came out to find Y/N standing there, waiting on him. "What the fuck happened? What did she do this time?" She asked him, anger visible across her face.
"Nothing. It's fine. I-I'm fine."
"Alex," she began.
"Not now, Y/N. I can't. Not now, ok?" he continued walking and grabbed himself two beers and headed to the sofa. Ivar noticed he'd returned and gave him a questioning look from across the room. Alex held his hand up and signaled that everything was ok as he turned up the first beer.
Sigurd and Anja sat across from him with Paul on one side of him and Y/N on the other. Sigurd began talking and thankfully, Paul and Y/N were quick to engage in conversation with him, as Alex turned up his second beer already.
Alex looked around and noticed Aslaug was at the kitchen counter without her smart-ass side kick for now. He saw his mom walk up to her and begin talking, and he could only hope Aslaug wouldn't say anything to her. He knew his mom, at least, was definitely what you would call a, "mama bear," and for the first time in a long time, he was quite proud of it.
"Hey, Aslaug. How are you? I've been meaning to talk with you all evening," Mama Hogh said to her.
"Oh, it's so nice to see you. I'm great. How have you been? I feel like it's been ages since I've seen you guys," Aslaug said.
The two of them made small talk for a few minutes before Alex's mom said, "What do you think about our boys? Who would have guessed that the two of them would have fallen for eachother, right?"
Aslaug thought before speaking and trying to choose her words wisely, finally answered, "It's funny. I kind of always thought my Ivar would end up with Alex's sister." Aslaug smiled and offered her a drink that she turned down.
"Oh, she is engaged now," Mama Hogh grinned, "But can I offer a word of advice to you?"
"Sure," Aslaug answered, intrigued.
"We have to let them go. They're not ours anymore. They're our babies, and we always think we know what's best for them, but there comes a time when we just have to let them go to make their own choices, and support them when they do."
She saw Aslaug's face harden a bit. "Trust me, I almost lost Alex because of trying to make his choices for him, thinking, 'Mama knows best,' but I learned the hard way, it's just not worth it. If they're happy, we have to be happy for them. And have you noticed how happy they clearly are with eachother? What mother could want more than that? Love comes in all shapes and sizes, and yes, sexes, Aslaug. Who are we to tell another who to love?"
Aslaug was clearly deep in thought. "How very insightful. Umm, thanks. I think." Aslaug leaned forward and hugged her as she told her that she and Thomas were leaving.
They returned to say their goodbyes. When Alex's mom came to him, he tried to stand but stumbled back onto the sofa, laughing. She smiled at him. "Just make sure you don't drive, Hun," and she hugged him goodbye as she told Y/N, "Take care of my boy, ok? I think he must need it." Y/N was surprised at how intuitive Alex's mom was, and she agreed.
Paul had been giving Alex beer after beer, and now Alex was feeling pretty good. Sigurd and he were intensely talking about being with someone they loved who already had a child. "It's so fucking beautiful how much you can love someone that you automatically love their offspring as if they're yours, right?" Alex slurred his words to Sigurd.
Sigurd smiled and agreed with him as he squeezed Anja's leg. He looked over and noticed one of Paul's hands on Alex's leg and the other rubbing his back. It didn't quite set well with Sigurd, but he told himself not to get involved. He'd definitely remembered each of his brother's warnings to not get shit started.
Alex continued talking, as Y/N got up to use the bathroom. "But you, you Sigurd, you have the luxury of having a baby of your own with umm, was it Amy?"
"Anja," she corrected him.
"Right. Anja. I'm sorry." Paul handed him another beer which he turned up and finished in 3 seconds, flat. "So you'll have your own little offspring soon. I, umm," he held his head down, "I can't provide that for Ivar."
Handing him another beer, Paul said, "Oh, there are other ways around that, Sweetheart." Alex turned up the beer as Paul's hand moved up his leg a bit more. Alex was so out of it by this point, that he didn't even notice, but Sigurd it did not miss it, nor did he miss the "sweetheart." He sat up to the edge of the couch and listened.
Paul continued, "If you were mine, I wouldn't make you feel any kind of pressure like that. Maybe the problem isn't that you can't give him another child. Maybe the problem is either who you're with or that he should be fucking happy with what he's got." Paul placed his hand on Alex's cheek while his other remained practically on his inner thigh, obviously headed toward where it definitely should not be.
Alex attempted to pull away from Paul's hand. Even in his drunken stupor, it didn't feel right. "Oh, umm, I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," Paul told him as Sigurd watched and tried to decide what to do. He looked to Anja, but she was now standing behind them, talking with Torvi. "I just hate to see you not appreciated, Alex," Paul continued. "I'd never let you feel inadequate, especially when it came to my fucking ex. I'm sorry he makes you feel that way. Are you sure that's love? Because I'm not." He dragged his hand up Alex's leg further and squeezed as he handed Alex another beer.
Alex turned the beer up and his head began spinning. He suddenly jerked away from Paul and moved over on the sofa. He tried to start another conversation with Sigurd to distract himself from Paul's words, but he kept hearing what he'd said ringing in his ears and it came out to Sigurd, "I'm uh, I'm inadequate, huh? That's it. That's why he still loves her. I'm not good enough."
Paul scooted over closer to him and placed one hand on the small of his back and the other back on his leg again. He pulled Alex into a hug and kissed him on the top of the head. "You're not inadequate at all, Alex. You're perfect."
Sigurd had finally seen enough, "That's enough, man. Back the fuck up. You've gotten him just drunk enough that he has no idea what you're up to. I think you need to leave. Now."
Paul looked up to Sigurd as he stood and said, "Who the fuck are you? Alex is grown and can make his own fucking decisions."
"You've conveniently taken his decision making skills away from him and I'm Ivar's fucking brother, that's who the fuck I am! Now, back the fuck up!" Alex's head fell over onto Paul's shoulder and Paul placed his hand at the nape of Alex's neck, and wrapped his other around his waist, completely disregarding Sigurd.
Trying not to be the one to make a scene, Sigurd stormed to the next room, looking for Ivar. When he found him, the look of utter hatred and disgust was plastered across his face. Ivar instantly felt his defenses go up as he was used to that look.
Expecting him to spill whatever bile he had stored for him, Ivar sat his drink down and balled his fists up, ready to knock him out and then kick him out. So, he was very surprised when Sigurd began talking.
"Ivar, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but this is about Alex." Ivar sighed at Sigurd. "No, it's not like that, Ivar. I'm pissed. That Paul guy, whoever the fuck he is, has gotten Alex super drunk. Alex doesn't even know what's going on, and he's talking out of his head about you still loving Katia."
"Oh, what the hell! Let me go talk to him," Ivar started to leave Sigurd.
Sigurd stopped him, "No, Ivar. That's not even what I'm talking about. It's just that, well, Alex is drunk and talking out of his head like I said, and that fucking Paul is using his words against him."
Ivar saw red, "What? What the fuck do you mean?"
"He's twisting Alex's obvious insecurities about the two of you to his advantage and basically telling him how he'd treat him better. And Ivar, he's groping him up. Alex pulled away several times, but this mother fucker keeps putting his fucking paws all over him. It's disgusting. I fucking told him to leave, and he completely ignored me. And since I promised you guys I'd behave, I thought it better to come get you."
"Fuck that! You should have kicked his ass and thrown him out!" Ivar spat through gritted teeth. "Where the fuck is this piece of shit?" Ivar felt anger like he hadn't felt in a long time course through his veins. He followed Sigurd, his unlikely ally.
When he found Alex, Y/N was arguing with Paul as he sat with his arm resting on Alex's shoulders. Alex was slumped over with his head in his hands.
Ivar walked up, "Thanks, Y/N. I can take it from here." She looked up to him with a sigh of relief and backed away, bumping into Hvitserk, who had the same murderous stare that Ivar had.
Paul looked a bit nervous as Ivar walked to Alex's side. Squatting down to Alex, he calmly said, "Hey, Love. I think you've had enough. Why don't we call it a night?"
Alex raised his head from his hands and looked into Ivar's worried eyes and smiled warmly. He said, "Hey, my Ivar. Umm, well, you are still my Ivar, aren't you?"
"Yes, of course, I am. Let's get you to bed, shall we?" Ivar gently said.
Alex looked at Paul and reached for another beer. Paul handed it to him as he rubbed his back. Ivar placed his hand over Paul's and squeezed it as he removed it from Alex's back. "That's enough touching, now. I think it's time for you to go," Ivar said sternly to Paul.
Alex turned back to Ivar and said, "But he's my friend. We were just talking shit, Ivar."
"So I've heard. Well, he has to go home, now, Love. And you can go with me to rest in my room."
Ivar placed his hand on Alex's cheek and Alex leaned into it. "Nah, I don't think I'm ready for bed just yet. I was enjoying the party. Have a drink with us."
Ivar stood up and told Paul, again, to leave. Paul answered, "I don't think Alex wants me to leave."
Ivar didn't have a chance to answer before Alex said, "No, don't leave. The party's not over yet."
Ivar helped Alex to his feet, "The party is over for the two of us. Come on. I'll help you up the stairs."
Alex still protested, "Ivar, we still have guests. I'm not ready to go to your room yet. C'mon, one more drink."
Sigurd and Hvitserk had everyone else go to other rooms, telling them they didn't know how this may play out, and that they didn't want anyone getting hurt. Aslaug stood in the doorway, watching, though. She knew that Alex's current state was because of him overhearing her and Katia talking. She knew she needed to talk with him and explain.
When Ivar noticed his brothers had cleared the room, and Alex was still rambling about one more drink, he bent down and scooped Alex up and threw him over his shoulder, completely ok if he vomited down his back.
Alex kicked and then laughed, "Oh, you Tarzan, me Jane. Bedroom. Now." He laughed even harder, "Hey, I may like this game after all. Bedroom, now, my Ivar." He grabbed his head, "But fuck! I can't be Jane!" Ivar even struggled not to laugh at that.
"Ok, Alex, let's go."
When Alex complained that he still wasn't ready to leave, Paul stood in front of Ivar. "Man, he said he doesn't want to leave. Put him down. What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Ivar felt a surge of anger hit him like a lightning bolt.
With Alex still over his shoulder, Ivar grabbed Paul by the shirt collar with his right hand and spoke to him through a clinched jaw and murderous eyes. In one of the most menacing voices Hvitserk had ever heard him use, Ivar growled at him, "What the fuck is wrong with ME? What the fuck is wrong with YOU?! You're in my house. You don't get to tell me to do anything! Now, get the fuck out of my house before I throw you out. Step aside before I destroy you." Ivar let go of him and he stumbled backwards a bit. "Don't make me peel your disgusting skin from your pleading body like a fucking potato! NOW, MOVE!"
Finally feeling proud of his baby brother, Sigurd giggled from behind them. Hvitserk's mouth just dropped in complete shock.
Paul winced at the images Ivar had put in his mind without even blinking. This man was ruthless, and he couldn't understand what Alex even saw in him, but he was not backing down. He wanted to be with Alex, and he was determined to show Alex who the better choice was.
When he got his balance, he, again, stood in front of Ivar. "I said put him down!"
With Alex still draped across Ivar's shoulder and back like a jacket, Ivar tightened his grip around him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt such a need to defend someone he loved.
Before anyone in the room even had time to register what was happening, Ivar drew his arm back, and he suddenly punched Paul right in the face with what felt like the strength of a twenty. Paul instantly stumbled back and fell over. He was completely knocked out.
Ivar looked down and stepped over Paul, and as he took the first step on the stairs, he turned back to his brothers. "Hvitserk and Ubbe," who had just entered the room a few minutes before, "Can you show the rest of our guests out and give my sincerest apologies?" Sigurd looked up to Ivar questionly. "And Sigurd, will you umm, can you take out the fucking trash? If the piece of shit gives you any problems, do whatever you fucking want with him."
Sigurd smiled, "Happily." He rubbed his hands together with anticipation, and leaned down and kicked Paul to see if he was conscious yet. Ivar smiled and went about carrying Alex up the stairs, to his room.
Ivar laid Alex down across the bed and smiled when Alex stretched his arms out and said, "Good morning, sunshine."
"Love, it's night. We're getting ready to for bed," Ivar chuckled at him.
"Oh, are we, now? I like the sound of that," Alex leaned up and reached for Ivar's crotch, but Ivar moved away from him, just out of his grasp.
Alex fell back onto the mattress, "You do t wnat me, do you? So, it's true, huh?"
"What's true?" Ivar asked, having no clue what Alex was talking about.
"You are still in love with Katia. Did you tell her? Because she already knows, too. Too bad I was the last one to fucking know. Might have saved me the humiliation of having to hear it from her," Alex turned his gaze away from Ivar, "It's ok, Ivar. You're off the hook."
Then, sitting up, or rather, trying to sit up, Alex told him, "I should go home. This, uh, this isn't right." He slung his legs over the side of the bed, and when he tried to get up, he fell forward.
Ivar rushed to his side. "Shit! Are you ok?"
"I'm fine. I'm fine. I've said it before, I like to get all the breaking done at once," Alex half laughed.
Ivar didn't know what had happened, but his mind could only guess Katia had told Alex some vile story that wasn't even true. "Whatever she's said or done, Alex, I'm sure it's all lies. You can't let her get to you and you can't believe her." Ivar tried. "You know how manipulative she is."
"Fuck that!" Alex raised up and tried to get to his feet. Unsuccessfully.
"Here, let me help you," Ivar offered and then helped Alex back to bed.
"You're, you're so fucking lucky I don't have the energy right now. I'd fight you on this one. You don't want me. I'd umm, I would, I, umm, nevermind. Can we talk tomorrow, Ivar? My head's splitting open. I, umm.." Ivar smiled at Alex's stuttering, but still worried about what he was saying. "Yeah, uh, you know what I'm saying, right? Umm humm."
Ivar brushed Alex's hair from his face to see he was passed out that quickly. He said his name a few times to check and yes, he was out.
Ivar pulled Alex's arm up from dangling on the side of the bed and took his shoes off for him before removing his own shirt and pants and crawling in bed beside him. He leaned down and kissed Alex on his temple, "Man, you're gonna feel this one in the morning." Ivar smiled.
As he laid back onto his pillow, he thought about the evil that Paul had attempted with Alex. He knew Hvitserk and Sigurd had taken care of everything downstairs because neither had came for him. Sigurd. What an unlikely person to have his back! He couldn't believe he'd welcomed someone like that into his home. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't worried about what Alex would do when he learned how he had to throw his friend out, but he knew it had to be done. He then began to worry about all the things Alex was saying. What was he even talking about? How could Alex possibly think that he was still in love with Katia?
As the rage began to build in him again, he turned to Alex and brushed his fingers through his hair in an effort to calm himself. Then, he began to wonder what had gotten Alex this upset to begin with.
As he continued to brush through Alex's hair, Alex turned to face him, barely opened his eyes, and smiled when he saw Ivar's eyes looking back at him. He mumbled, "Hold me?"
"Of course, Love. Come here."
They scooted into each other as their bodies intertwined and Ivar's arms wrapped tightly around Alex. He kissed Alex on the top of his head as Alex snuggled into him. "I love you," Ivar whispered, and the two of them finally fell asleep.
She had agreed to return to Kattegat with the brothers in their triumphant glory and chose to ride behind Ivar, much to his pleasure. She wrapped her arms around his body as he guided the chariot down the familiar road that would lead beneath the walls and skillfully missed any dips in the road, to avoid lurching her.
"What a change the sons of Ragnar have made to Kattegat," she murmured as they entered through the open gates.
"Do you enjoy it?" Ivar asked.
"I do not know yet but it still holds all the same memories," she whispered and Ivar felt her sadness, the memories of those who no longer remained.
---
The Seer stepped from his hut, looking up to the sky as four crows flew into it and coasted in a circle. He watched them for a moment then looked to the chariot that was driven by Ragnar's youngest and the one who hated him most. Behind him stood a woman he detested himself and a woman he knew the Gods did not favor. He glanced up at the crows again and shook his head, the number didn't make sense.
----
Ivar sat in the Great Hall besides his brothers and the mystic, enjoying a hearty meal when the Seer lurched in. He looked up and stared at him as he limped in, the Seer rarely made his way into the hall.
"Seer, what news do you bring!" Ubbe shouted and the room quieted, all eyes were on the ancient creature. After a moment, he reached out a hand and pointed a gnarled finger at the mystic, Ivar glanced back at her.
"She does not belong here," he declared and Ivar looked back at the Seer.
"You have come all this way to tell us you do not like her presence?" Ivar asked.
"She has never brought good fortune to Kattegat and the Gods do not favor her," he said and the Mystic laughed.
"Seer, why don't you go bury yourself into the earth as you so enjoy?" she demanded and stood, Ivar looked up at her as she moved towards the Seer. "All you have known have passed and you are no longer wanted here," she said.
"You do not bring good to this village and you should have remained dead," he retorted and she laughed again.
"You know nothing of my runes, my path to the Gods," she dismissed.
"They killed you once and they did not bring you back," he said and Ivar stared, open mouthed. No tale of her death had ever been told to him and by his brothers expression, it was clear none was spoken to them either.
"No? And how does one so blind know tvis?" She demanded.
"My eyes see far more blind then yours ever will," he promised.
"Tell me then, Seer," she began. "How many crows did you see upon my arrival?" She demanded and the Seer fell quiet. She leaned towards him. "Tell me, Seer," she seethed.
"You believe you control the fates, the Gods but they only play with you as they do all kortals," he insisted.
"I am not mortal, Seer," she stated. "And so I do not adhere to the Gods' rule," she declared. "How many crows did you see?" she commanded and the Seer was again quiet.
"Three," he lied and she laughed once more, circling the Seer before standing beside them.
"You lie," she promised and the Seer was quiet again.
"Seer?" Ubbe called out at last.
"Four," he said finally and she smiled brightly.
"One for sorrow, two for mirth, three for a wedding, four for a birth, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never told, eight for a kiss, nine for a wish and ten for a bird you must not miss," she recited.
"You will not birth any child," he vowed and again she smiled.
"Birth is not only that of a baby, Seer," she said. "And you know this as well as I," she promised and returned to her seat beside Ivar. "So go now Seer, you are no longer needed in this village," she said with a wave of her hand and Ivar gazed at her, hearing the sound of the Seer's walking stick as he left the hall.
"What did he mean by the Gods have killed you once?" he asked and she shrugged.
"I have been to Valhalla and I returned," she said and looked up at him. "With the help of your father," she said.
"My father?" he asked. "I do not understand," he finished with a shake of his head and she smiled.
"I will explain all but now we eat," she declared and reached for her cup, Ivar's gaze lingered before he followed her lead with a glance to his brothers.
In a hidden hollow in the woods a cottage was built of fallen timber and moss decorated it's exterior, a wooden door stood to guard against the elements. Within its walls lived a woman of mysteries and mysticism. With long raven colored hair, silver piercing eyes and a beauty unknown in the lands, she often brought many men to her hearth. They would come to her seeking prophecy and healing, but many came to merely feel the kindness of a woman they had not felt before.
Ivar had heard her name passed through the village, listened as the men spoke highly of her and none disparaged her with the talk they shared of the women in the village that sold themselves for coin. Many spoke of her healing abilities, her kindness and all spoke of her beauty. He had grown up with her legend, his own father often had her tend to his wounds and she would only come to the village for Ragnar. Ivar had been enrpatured by her beauty the first time he saw her but it was her kind smile that caused him to love her. He was born a crippled son of Ragnar and carried much anger due to it, she was one of the few who saw past it. Whenever Ragnar would call upon her, she would always stow a special treat for Ivar in her skirts and he would wait patiently until she was done tending his father, eager to see what she had brought him.
The death of Ragnar brought war to the shores of Kattegat, a war that had not been had before and internally the village struggled. Brother against brother fought for the jarldom and the people took their sides, causing strife within families.
She was not seen in the village after Ragnar's death, she had fortold the war to come and chose to remain out of it, to remain in her cottage in the woods.
Ivar had sought peace in many lands, finding glory and silver but never what he truly needed. He had married a thrall, created a Queen out of her and was forced to watch as she crashed, burned before him. He had at last begun to understand why his father left Kattegat, why he roamed the many lands and sought something he was not even sure he would ever find.
He sat amid the woods, leaned against a tree and angrily carving nothing particular into a stick.
"What has that stick ever done to you, Ivar Ragnarsson?" her voice came and he looked up surprised. She had her beautiful, kind smile on her lips and he scowled, returning his gaze to it. "Come now, do not be so angry with me," she encouraged and put her basket down beside her as she crouched before him.
"You deserted my family when we required you most, why would I not be angry with you?" he demanded and she laughed quietly. She reached out a bold hand and stroked his face, he paused in his carving. Her touch was warm in the cold air, it was kind and it was loving.
"You have grown since last I saw you, Ivar Ragnarsson," she murmured and he gazed up at her.
"I am still a cripple," he replied and she smiled again, holding his chin in her hand.
"Perhaps but you are a handsome cripple," she teased and he rolled his eyes, she laughed once more before pressing her lips to his forehead. "Come my angry little cripple, come eat with me," she encouraged and he studied her as she picked up her basket again, at last he nodded. He followed after her and was instantly warmed to the soul when he entered her home. The scents, the fire and the familiarity of it, he settled in a seat as she shut the door.
"Why did you abandon us?" he asked and she went to the fire, stirring the pot over it.
"I did not abandon you," she disagreed.
"No? My father has died, my mother too and you were nowhere to be seen," he argued and she reached up on the mantle, pulling wooden bowls from it.
"It was not my story," she said and poured the soup into the bowl, bringing it to him. She set it down and he eyed it hungrily, it looked delicious.
"I have always been part of your story," he fought and she poured herself a bowl, settling before him with a smile on her face.
"No," she disagreed with a gentle shake of her head. "I was always part of your story, Ivar," she reminded and he fell quiet, it was true. She had existed long before his birth. "I had warned you, your brothers of what was to come and left you to your choices," she said and began to eat.
"You knew there would be blood," he said and she nodded.
"So I did," she said. "But I would not be party to the blood spilling," she said. "I had done my duty by you, by your father and so I left," she said.
"But you should have stayed," he demanded and she shook her head again.
"I was not your thrall, I was not a thrall at all, I did not have to do anything," she said and he sighed, defeated. "My sweet Ivar," she murmured as she reached out and stroked his face again, using the term she often whispered to him before she left Kattegat. "Do not be so angry with me," she murmured. "Be glad you have found me again,"
"I am glad," he promised and she smiled, holding his gaze. "But I have missed you," he said.
"And I have missed you, my angry one," she assured. "I have heard of your glory and I have celebrated in it," she said and he smiled.
"I have gathered much glory but for what?" he asked. "I have not found what I seek," he said and she studied him for a moment. She took his hands and turned them over in hers, studying his palms.
"Your path was always destined to be a violent one," she said. "And a warrior of such violence cannot expect to find peace from it," she continued and he watched as her long fingers ran over his palms.
"So I will never be happy?" he asked and she looked up at him.
"No," she said. "You will always seek satisfaction and never be satisfied," she said and he pulled his hands away from her.
"Then what is the point?" he asked and she smiled.
"That is not my place to tell you, I am not the Gods and have not woven your destiny," she said. "But happiness will be found in fleeting nature," she promised.
"I have found none," he said and she cocked her head to the side.
"Were you not married?" she asked.
"How do you know of her?" he questioned and she smiled.
"Oh Ivar," she chastised. "Just because you have not seen me, does not mean I have not seen you," she reminded and he scowled again.
"She was not happiness, she was a thief of my time," he said.
"But you loved her for a time and that was fleeting, fleeting happiness," she stated and continued to eat.
"I will not let myself love another, it only brings me trouble," he said with a shake of his head and she smiled, seemingly bemused. "Why do you smile at me like that?" he demanded.
"I have loved few but those that I have, I have only been hurt by them but I would love them all over again just to feel that happiness," she said.
"You have loved my father," he asserted and she nodded.
"Ragnar was mine before he was your mother's and when he married her, I left Kattegat for a time," she said.
"Had he promised himself to you?" he asked and she shook her head.
"I did no ask him to, it was foolish," she said with a wave of her hand. "He was Ragnar Lothbrok, Jarl of Kattegat, I was not destined for a throne," she said and Ivar studied her. "But I will not lie that it hurt to see him married once more after all we shared," she said.
"Who else have you loved then?" he demanded and she looked up at him, her eyes softened as they gazed at him.
"I loved a crippled boy once, long ago," she began and he stared at her. "I loved him as my own and when his father died, it broke my heart to know what was about to come to his doorstep," she said.
"Me?" he asked and she laughed, nodding.
"Of course it was you, Ivar," she said and he lowered his eyes in embarrassment. "But you were never mine, you were Aslaug's and she had broken my heart twice with the men in her life," she said. "And so I returned to my home, choosing to live a life of solitary then allow myself to be hurt again," she said.
"I have missed you," he said and she nodded. She leaned forward and kissed him softly.
"And I have missed you, Ivar Ragnarsson," she replied. "My sweet little cripple," she said and pushed his bowl towards him. "Eat, it will get cold," she said and rose from the table. "I am glad you have found your way to my door once more, please take comfort as long as you wish, I must go forage while the weather holds up," she said and gathered her basket once more, she paused beside him. She leaned down and kissed his head before leaving the cottage, leaving Ivar.
Illska leaned over Ivar in his bed and gazed at him as he slept, so peaceful. She reached out and ran her fingers gingerly over his bare chest, his eyes immediately opened.
"Illska?" he asked and quickly recognized concern in her expression. "What is it?" he asked, gazing back at her.
"It is Freydis," she said and Ivar stared at her wordlessly.
"What of her?" he demanded.
"She is proclaiming she is pregnant," she said and Ivar laughed.
"By who's seed?" he questioned.
"Yours," she replied and Ivar scoffed.
"That would make me truly a God then, I have not shared her bed for many weeks," he said.
"It does not matter, she tells the people she is with child, with your child," she enthused. "It will be that much harder to get a divorce for you," she murmured and Ivar stared at her for a moment.
"I will put a stop to this," he stated as he pulled his legs over the edge of the bed and slowly rose, Illska watched him silently. "Are you coming with me?" he asked after putting a shirt on and grabbing his crutch.
"This is not my battle," she stated and he paused, staring at her. With a shake of his head he ripped open the door and stormed from the room, leaving Illska alone on his bed.
This is the long anticipated update and I'm so excited to share it with you. Please let me know what you guys think!
Words: 5500
Warnings: All the feels! brief violence, language, just grab some tissues.
Series Masterlist
Ivar loathed all hospitals with an unholy passion. Far too much of his childhood was spent surrounded by sterile white walls and people in scrubs giving him pitying looks that boiled his blood. He hated the continuous beeping sounds, that unnatural sterile scent, even the loud-ass flooring that made each step sound like a heavy weight being dropped. He despised everything about hospitals.
But none of that crossed his mind as he stormed into the main lobby of one with the force of an unrelenting tornado.
He slammed his hand down on the counter, feeling his bones rattle and threaten to break but he ignored the pain. He already had one hand in a cast, why not the other?
“Where is Kari Larsen?” He demanded of the two nurses behind the counter.
Neither nurse berated him of how he cut in line, bypassing the four other people, to demand their attention. A fucking miracle. As he stood there, waves of anger and desperation crashing over him, he wondered if they could see it and it kept their mouths shut. Was it so obvious how his edges were fraying? How what sanity he possessed was beginning to crumble until he knew - he could see - that Kari was alive.
One of them glanced over his shoulder, at his father and brother flanking him, and waved him closer. “Give me a moment and I'll check.”
The desire to scream at her to ‘hurry the fuck up’, ‘didn't she know who he was’, and how he wanted to ‘burn this entire building to the ground’ stung the back of his throat. But none of that passed his lips. For immobilizing terror gripped at his heart with claws sunk in deep, making that blackened organ threaten to stutter to a stop. How his lungs ached as if petrifying within his chest causing each breath to be a struggle to take in.
He had promised her.
He fucking PROMISED!
Uncaring of his hardened reputation, of never showing pain, he dropped his head in his hands, the cast rubbing against his cheek. He tried to take a deep breath, but the panic and self-loathing continued to crush his chest like a Medieval torture device. He just needed to know…he needed to see her.
Please…
The nurse's ‘customer' voice broke through his internal panic. “Miss Larsen is still in the emergency room but has been moved to a separate room for examination.”
Ivar moved before the nurse fully finished her sentence. Ignoring all those around him, he stormed through that hospital with only one destination in mind. At this point, he almost wished someone would try to stop him so he could hit someone, just do something instead of feeling like he was falling apart. Anger, he knew. Anger, he could work with. But not this terror, not this panic that was draining his sanity and attempting to suffocate him.
Perhaps, it was the scowl on his face that made people jump out of his way, the aura of danger that radiated off of him, or how he was flanked by his father and brother. With only a few concerned stares from nurses or those that worked there, he guessed they recognized him and his family. He had visited this godforsaken place enough times. Besides, he was a Lothbrok.
And Lothbroks owned this city.
Hvitserk raced ahead to open the doors leading into the emergency area, separate from the main hospital. They passed through without incident, into the chaos and mayhem. Sounds of a baby screaming, raised voices, the tang of blood and antiseptic cleaner, it all assaulted his senses but it barely phased him. There was only one thing he cared about right now.
Marching up to the large desk, he stopped, glaring at the first nurse he came across. Her gray hair was tied back in a bun, with a ‘don't give a fuck anymore’ look as she typed away on the computer.
Too bad she had met her match today.
“Kari Larsen. Where is she?” He gritted through his teeth.
The older nurse sighed, looking up at him. “Young man, you need to wait–”
“WHERE IS SHE??!”
Silence echoed in the room. The sudden lack of sound felt like a black hole that suddenly exploded to destroy them all. All eyes turned to the trio at the front desk.
His father put a hand on Ivar's shoulder as he stepped up beside him. Most likely intervening before Ivar jumped over the counter and repeatedly stabbed the ugly bitch with that damn pen she kept clicking.
“We received a call from this hospital that Kari Larsen was here. We've come to check on her and I am personally paying for any treatment she receives while here.”
“Fine. Your name, sir?”
“Ragnar Lothbrok.” He smirked lazily. “My information is on file. Send the bill to Mr Weber, the CFO. He knows how to contact me with any further questions.”
The five other nurses behind the desk all stared, one or two having paled at the name of Lothbrok spoken. The older nurse before them began to stutter out a response, her eyes having widened and mouth dropped open, like an wrinkly goldfish.
“Now, you will answer my son's question.” His father's voice hardened in displeasure. “In which room is Kari Larsen?”
“I…um…” One of the nurses stumbled out, clasping a blue patient folder to her chest like it was some shield to protect her from the Lothbrok's wrath. “I brought her for a CT scan…just…fifteen minutes ago, maybe.”
“Excellent, now–” Ragnar started to say but a rasped cry yanked the youngest Lothbrok's attention away.
“Ivar!”
He spun on his heel, facing the hallway just behind him and slightly to his right. All his fear, panic, anger, self-loathing- it all bubbled up to spectacularly erupt as he heard that voice call his name. Her voice! A voice even after three weeks without hearing its sound, he immediately knew. The voice his soul cried out for.
And there she was.
Beautiful…
Perfect…
….with dried blood on the side of her head and splattered on her sweater.
“Kari!” As quickly as his crippled legs could go, he bolted towards her.
At his responding cry, she broke away from the nurse walking next to her. The damn nurse tried to grab her, but Kari shook her hand off and began running.
Running to him!
With tears running down her cheeks.
She slammed into him, almost knocking them over with her momentum. Ivar stumbled back a couple steps, barely catching his footing, but he did not care. She was in his arms. Where she should be. Where she was meant to be. Finally.
As soon as she was enclosed in his arms, face pressed against his chest and hands fisting the front of his shirt, she began sobbing earnestly. He tightened his arms around her, drawing her as physically possible against himself as her whole body shook with each ragged sob.
Hearing her, he wished he could carve his chest open and allow her to crawl in. Fuck, he would do anything to take her pain, to have her even closer, to prove he was never letting her go again.
That he would always protect her.
“I've got you, Kari. I'm here.” The words flowed from him like an anguished prayer. “I'm here, sweet Kari. I'm not going anywhere.”
The scent of blood clung to her but he ignored it for the moment. She was here in his arms. Alive and well.
That was all that mattered.
He could have stood there for all eternity, the world continuing to spin and empires rising and falling without an ounce of care from him. None of it mattered. Three weeks he had been in turmoil and despair, waiting, wondering, hoping for a sign from her. Anything to prove she still cared about him, still wanted him. That he had not completely fucked up the best thing in his life with a stupid mistake. He planned on planting roots right here on the dirty hospital floor for as long as Kari needed him. The fucking nurses and other patients could move around his crippled ass.
His father had other plans though.
A tap on his shoulder had Ivar looking up into his father's face, a subtle look of relief there. “There's a room for her. Let's move her there.”
He gave a brief nod. With the movement, he became aware of the moisture on his face. When had he started crying? He had been so absorbed in finally - finally! - seeing his kitten, in holding her and providing any kind of comfort she needed, he had not realized his own roiling emotions had exploded out in tears of relief and gratitude, that he was practically bleeding out his stress and harbored despair. And for one of the first times in his life, he did not care if others saw his tears.
Somehow he coaxed Kari along as he followed his father. A strange dance as they moved since she seemed to have no inclination of letting him go. Not that he objected in any way. It was in moments like this he cursed his legs, for if he was whole-bodied he could have picked Kari up and carried her. Instead, with an arm tight around her shoulders and her pressed against his side, refusing to release her vice-like grip on his shirt, they slowly moved.
The ‘room’ they were directed to was just a curtained off section with a single bed, single chair and some monitors pressed against the wall behind the bed. Similar to the many other sectioned off ‘rooms’ of patients waiting to be moved on or sent home.
Carefully, Ivar maneuvered Kari and himself to sit on the hospital bed. She curled against him, her ear against his heart and one hand toying with his Mjölnir necklace. His arm wrapped around her, pulling her against him. His other hand's fingers were intertwined with hers in his lap.
Like sentinels, his father sat in the chair, sharp gaze shifting from the closed curtain to his youngest son, while his brother took up position next to their father, arms crossed over his chest. The two began whispering but Ivar only briefly noted their presence.
His attention was drawn to Kari as she whispered something.
“What was that, kattungen?”
“You came.” She breathed, her voice raspy and shaky as if holding back more tears. “I gave them your number. I–I wasn't sure if you'd come. I just...I was scared and wanted you.”
How was it possible with such a simple statement, it completely disarmed him. His heart lurched at hearing the undercurrent of fear in her voice, sounding like a child admitting they were scared of the dark. What was worse, what broke his heart, was her fear that he would not come. That he would abandon her.
He pressed his lips to the top of her head in a slow syrup-like kiss, hoping his actions and words would penetrate through her worry. “I'll always come for you.”
“Please don't leave.”
He tipped his head up for a moment, a useless act to try and stop the fresh wave of tears from flowing freely down his cheeks. “I promise.” His voice broke as he answered. “I'm not going anywhere. I won't leave you.”
“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.” She sobbed out, clinging to him even tighter if possible.
“Shhh…it's okay. Let's focus on getting you out of here, okay?”
She nodded, a faint thing, but he felt it for how tightly she was pressed against him.
A couple minutes later, a doctor stepped behind the curtain, joining the crowded space. He paused a moment, seeing to register the group along with his patient. He cleared his throat loudly before glancing down at the folder in hand.
“Good day, I'm Doctor Schultz, the attending doctor here today. Miss Larsen?” The doctor paused, eyes focused on his patient.
When she did not respond, Ivar squeezed her hand. “It's okay, søte Kari, I'm here.”
“Yes, doctor?” She quietly, hesitantly, said.
“How are you feeling?”
With that fucking stupid question, Ivar wanted to punch the absolute, incompetent asshole of a doctor but settled for glaring at him over Kari's head.
“I've been better.” She replied.
The doctor smiled. “I'm sure. The good news is your scans came back clean. You do not appear to have any cranial or brain damage more than a concussion.” He hesitated, as if rolling around a question in his mind before carefully allowing it out. “Is there anywhere else that hurts? My understanding is the paramedics said you were initially screaming when they arrived on scene.”
“Doctor, can you explain what occurred? We were not told about the incident beyond the fact that she was being attended to at this hospital.” Ragnar broke in, his voice broking no argument that his question would be answered first.
“Of course. Miss Larsen and a companion were involved in a car accident. It appears another driver was not paying attention and drove through a red light, impacting their vehicle.”
A car accident.
A goddamn car accident.
Inhaling sharply, Ivar felt the air stick to his lungs like glue. Mentally he thanked the gods, Fate and anyone listening for keeping Kari safe. The outcome could have been very different.
“Is Erik okay?” The quiet query came from beside Ivar.
“I'm not supposed to speak of other patients,” the doctor said but his face softened as he looked at Kari, “but I just saw him and he sustained more injuries than you. He likely will be walking out of here later today.”
“Erik?” Ivar asked his kitten.
“My neighbor. He was driving us to the grocery store.”
Erik. Fucking Erik. Ivar did not like the overly friendly neighbor, the twat was trying to encroach on HIS territory. Now hearing this, he hated the man even more. The accident may not have been entirely his fault, but Kari was injured and traumatized while in his presence. That was unforgivable.
“Miss Larsen, is there anywhere that hurts? You were fairly nonverbal when you arrived.”
“My…my shoulder…and my neck.”
“May I take a look?”
Ivar loathed to separate from her, but he removed his arm from behind her so the doctor would examine her. Damn, if he was going to move though. Plus with the way Kari did not release his hand, he doubted she wanted him further away.
The doctor opened his mouth, but at the look that promised death on Ivar's face, he wisely did not ask Ivar to move.
“Hmm.” The doctor hummed as he looked at Kari's neck and ran a hand along the slender column. Gently, he tugged the neckline of her sweater to see better after touching it and asking if his touch caused pain.
Ivar gritted his teeth, as he glared with disdain at the invasive doctor. He was ready to intervene any moment the doctor went too far in his opinion but a purposeful squeeze from Kari's hand brought him back down. To distract them both, he brought their entwined fingers to his mouth. Teasingly, he kissed each of her knuckles as he held eye contact and gave a cheeky wink. His heart soared as a faint blush warmed her cheeks and a small, shy smile turned the corners of her lips up.
“Well, Miss Larsen,” the doctor stepped back and scribbled on his chart, “I do not see anything too concerning. I suspect the pain is from whiplash and the seat belt tightening. I can already see some bruising beginning on your shoulder, which may worsen. Unless the pain dramatically increases, you will be fine. You will be sore for a few days. My suggestion is to take some over the counter pain meds and rest for the next several days. If the pain worsens, either in your body or your head, come back to the ER. Any increasing headaches, double vision, spots in your vision, fainting, anything along those lines, please return and we will check on your concussion again. Before I release you, do you have anywhere to stay that someone can watch over you?”
“She's staying with me.”
Both the doctor's and Kari's gazes swung back to him but he only stared resolute at the man that needed to hurry the fuck up.
“Alright…Miss, are you agreeable to that?”
She nodded silently.
“Good. One final question, the paramedics were quite concerned about your hysterics. They made note that you only seemed to calm once they helped you out of the vehicle and even then you were silent and unresponsive for a period of time. Do you remember any of this?”
“Yes.” She croaked out, a violent shiver shaking her fragile form.
“Can you explain what happened?”
“Is this fucking necessary?” Ivar seethed, curling his arm protectively around her and tugging her back into his side.
“I would like to follow through with–”
Ragnar stood up, blue eyes hard as ice as he stared down the doctor. “Thank you for your time and follow through. If you can finalize the release paperwork, we will be on our way and allow you to move on with your many other patients.”
Bewildered gaze swinging to every person in the room, as if silently questioning Ragnar's subtle rebuke, the doctor sharply exhaled and stepped back to the closed curtain. “I will send a nurse in to provide the paperwork.”
With that the intrusive doctor swung open the curtain and strutted away.
Once out of sight, Ivar mumbled, “thought he'd never fucking shut up.”
“Be nice.” Kari murmured without any heat in it, more as if it was a reflex.
Ragnar stepped around the bed and began rustling through the small rolling cart beside the bed. He came back around with an antiseptic wipe. Ivar watched as his father ripped it open and then delicately wiped away the lingering blood on her temple and ear, with far more physical tenderness than he had ever shown his sons. Kari hissed at the initial contact but did not pull away, closing her eyes and slowly taking deep breaths.
Once cleaned to his satisfaction, Ragnar tossed the wipe into the nearby bin. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair as if steeling himself for something. Ivar glanced over at his brother, who just shrugged, his own gaze focused on their father.
Ragnar crouched down, bringing himself eye level with Kari instead of standing over her like he had done. “Kari, do you want to leave?” He asked softly.
What kind of dumbass question was that? Ivar opened his mouth to intervene but a cutting look from Ragnar had him almost biting through his tongue to keep quiet.
“Yes.” She rasped back.
“Mmm…” Ragnar nodded. “I need you to look at me, yeah? Good girl. Will you be comfortable riding in a car after this?”
Kari tensed and Ivar wanted to bash his own head against the nearest wall. Of fucking course! Why had he not thought of that yet?
“I–I don't know…I'm sorry.”
“No, Kari. Don't be sorry.” Ivar pressed his forehead to her uninjured temple. “We'll figure something out. It's not your fault.”
Ragnar spoke again, all soft edges and thoughtfulness. “Driving Ivar's car back would be the easiest and fastest. If you are uncomfortable with that, we can find an alternative mode of transportation or we can ask a nurse to mildly sedate you.”
With a tremor in her voice, she stated, “I can try. I think I can do it. Just…could you maybe drive slow?”
Ivar smiled as he pressed a kiss to her temple, a silent encouragement, astounded by her quiet bravery.
“I'm certain we can manage that.” Ragnar grunted, amusement in the quirk of his lips. “One last question.”
She nodded hesitantly.
“I need to know, if while we are driving, will you start screaming?”
This time she answered shakily. “No.”
“Do you recall why you were screaming at the accident?”
“Father.” Ivar growled, disliking this turn of questioning.
“I need to know for our safety.” He returned his sharp gaze back to Kari, but did soften his voice.“Do you remember?”
“Memories.”
“Memories?” Ragnar repeated.
She hummed.
“Were you in a car accident recently?”
“No…”
“That's enough.” Ivar snarled, tugging her closer into his side, as her quivering began anew. Whether it was those memories or fear that caused her bodily reaction, he refused to let his father bully her into an answer. He had promised to protect her…even if it was from his father's interrogation.
Icy blue eyes shifted from his youngest to the trembling, young woman in his arms before nodding and rising back to his feet. “I'll be back.” He swept out of the small room, the curtain fluttering closed behind him.
“I'm sorry.” She whispered, just before pressing a hand to her mouth and releasing a shaky sob.
Ivar held her close, sheltering her from her own turbulent emotions, as she tucked her face against him. Careful not to disturb her more, he wiped away the residue of tears from his cheeks with his right hand, mindful of his cast.
At the feeling of being watched, he met his brother's eyes from across the small closet of a curtained room. His favorite brother had always been an open book, easy to read his emotions. Even now, the relief and concern for Kari was evident in his eyes. Without a word, he nodded slowly and deliberately toward the woman in his arms. Ivar nodded in reply. A silent conversation but Ivar knew what it meant.
Whatever you need. I'll be there.
Several minutes later, when Kari's quiet sobs transitioned to sniffles, a nurse arrived with a clipboard and release papers. She nervously asked the two men in the room to step outside so she could ask Kari some questions privately. Ivar's hackles immediately rose, a scathing retort on his tongue ready to unleash on the nurse but a squeeze of his hand made the words fade away.
“I'm okay.” Those blue-green eyes held his, even though red rimmed and watery, he still thought they were one of his most favorite sights. “It'll only be a minute.”
“I'll be just on the other side of the curtain.” He promised, lifting her hand and pressing a kiss to her palm. “Call out if you need me, kattungen.”
The subtle blush that arose on her cheeks drew a wicked smile to his lips. Before he could swoop in and kiss her, making them both forget the outside world, Kari lightly pushed on his chest.
“Go.”
“As my priestess commands.”
Her quiet laughter followed him out of the room, lightening his darkened heart like an eternal candle. Hvitserk closed the curtain behind them, taking up a position mirroring his own, standing guard in front of the room.
Other patients and nurses moved about the long hallway, some staring at the two brothers, but they were mostly ignored, the chaos and mayhem of the emergency room taking precedence.
Ivar closed his eyes, rubbing a hand along his forehead to try and encourage the brewing headache to fuck off.
“How are you holding up?”
He did not even open his eyes as he heard his brother's question. The exhaustion he had been fighting, dulled by the adrenaline from the phone call and finding Kari, now hit him like a semi truck. At this rate, it was debatable if he would actually be able to fall asleep or his body would crash into a coma, forcing him to rest. He just needed to get Kari to his house. If he could get the two of them there, then they could both rest and recover….and he could beg for her to never leave him again.
He released a long sigh. “I need a cigarette.”
“Want to step out? I'll stay with Kari.”
For a second, he considered it but ultimately shook his head. “I'm not leaving her.”
“What's your plan now? Sounds like you offered for her to stay with us.”
“Yeah. That a fucking problem?”
Hvitserk nudged him with his elbow. “You know it's not. Just…make sure that is what SHE wants.”
“I know.” Ivar ran his hand over his head. “I need her close by. After this…I need to know she's okay.”
“Well, with the way she wouldn't let you go, I think the feeling is mutual.”
Ivar chuckled quietly, warmth flooding his entire body at the reminder. He thought that perhaps she had forgiven him and they could move forward after this. Whatever that looked like, he would take. As long as she was by his side, he did not care what title it held. He just needed her. She was his morning sunrise, the stars in his night sky. Without her, his world was dark and filled with pain and anger.
A new set of footsteps coming down the hallway had the brothers looking up. At the face that came into view, Ivar's fatigue drained away again. Fury pulsated like a second heartbeat in his chest, shooting its tendrils throughout his body like a living organism.
Without a second thought, his feet moved.
The nurse walking with the man seemed to take note of Ivar first and her face paled. She halted, eyes darting around as if searching for help, for someone to intervene. It was only then her patient took notice.
But it was too late. It was time to pass the man's sentence and in this case, Ivar was judge, jury and executioner.
He stormed up to the man, with rage a phantom above him and vengeance nipping at his heels. “You stay the fuck away from Kari. This is your fucking fault she's here!”
“No, the other driver–” Erik tried to defend himself but Ivar was beyond caring about excuses.
Ivar shoved him. Hard.
Erik stumbled back and fell on his ass, unable to fully stop his fall with his right arm in the sling. A pained hiss slipped from his lips as his body jolted at hitting the floor.
“Sir, you can't–” the nurse tried to step in but Ivar pointedly ignored her, his full attention at the man sprawled at his feet.
“I don't give a fuck! You stay the fuck away from her!”
He took a step back, his eyes, cold as stone, stared the man down as if daring him to say anything. He could see the scattering of cuts on Erik's face and body, most likely from the airbag, the arm sling, and the wrap around his knee. None of it phased the Lothbrok. He did not give a flying fuck about him or his injuries. Under Erik's watch, Kari had gotten hurt. Something that would NEVER happen again.
Satisfied he had gotten his point across, Ivar turned to head back to his brother when he heard the resentful mutter behind his back.
“Psycho asshole.”
He could feel the insult sink in and flow through every part of his body. His concern had been for Kari, with keeping her safe. But now, with that one utterance…the idiot had made this personal.
Before Erik blinked, Ivar had whipped around and grabbed him by the front of his t-shirt. He hauled him up roughly to stare into his face. The youngest Lothbrok reveled in the shock and fear that coated the blond's face. People always forgot that he spent a good portion of his life crawling around when his legs were unusable due to surgeries or pain, which built up his upper body strength. Even now, he still enjoyed working out his upper body, being as strong as possible, proving he was more than his useless legs.
“You want to say that to my face, you little fucker?” He sneered. “Huh?”
“IVAR!”
At the shout of his name, he looked over his shoulder. Hvitserk stood beside Kari, the latter with a hand over her mouth and beseeching eyes wide. A few paces in front of them stood his father, the one who called his name, poised ready to intervene and yank his son away.
Without remorse, Ivar roughly let go of Erik. “Stay away from her, or I won't be so nice next time.” With the threat looming above them, he turned and headed back to his family…
…Back to his kitten and hopefully away from this fucking awful place.
“Kari, you don't have to go with him!”
Ivar froze. Again.
“I–I can drive you home. I'll be discharged soon if you'll just…wait.”
The entire hall waited with baited breath. Only the sounds of the machines beeping could be heard.
Yet his whole world had narrowed down to Kari. His eyes zeroed in on her, waiting, watching, for a sign, a subtle hint, instruction on what to do next. Did he go to her? Or was she terrified of him once again? Should he turn around and rip that little fucker's spine out of his body? As these questions whirled about like a chaotic storm, his feet remained firmly planted.
Until her.
Like a sunbeam breaking through the darkest storm, that was his Kari.
His light. His life.
With his name on her lips but no sound uttered, she held out her hand for him. Those stunning eyes focused on him, calling, summoning, drawing him in.
And like a moth to the flame, he followed. But instead of death being at the source of light for him, there was the brightest joy and affection, belonging and loyalty.
He reached out, taking her hand as he got closer and drew her back to his side. He planted a brief kiss on the top of her head. “Let's go home, kattungen.”
Neither Ivar nor Kari looked back at Erik.
They followed Hvitserk and Ragnar out to Ivar's car. Ragnar drove with his son in the passenger seat, and Ivar and Kari in the back. Kari was still tucked in his side, head on his shoulder and holding hands.
As the vehicle pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street, her body began to subtly shake. Ivar tugged her onto his lap and began softly speaking, trying to soothe her in his native tongue. Like a child, she tucked her face into his neck as if to hide from the world. Her hand gripped his with a death grip, but he paid no mind, encouraging and comforting however he could.
About halfway through the drive, Kari finally spoke, her trembling having subsided. “Why do you have a cast?”
He glanced down at the damn thing laying across her thighs. “Broke my hand.”
“How?”
“Boxing.”
“Hmmm…did you win?”
He snorted, glancing at her, meeting her face with a small smile. “I always win.”
“Uh huh. Sure you do.” She rasped out, her voice sounding a little stronger but still rough.
“Are you teasing me right now?”
She mock-gasped. “No one would dare tease you.”
He squeezed the top of her knee, making her squirm and squeak. “And you remember that.”
The conversation died out; silence reigned for a while. Ivar rubbed his thumb on the back of her hand as he rested his head on top of hers with eyes closed. Exhaustion crept back in once again, tugging his eyelids shut and numbing his mind. All he wanted to do was crawl into his bed, with Kari joining him, and lock his bedroom door so no one could bother them for at least three days. Maybe a week.
“Oh no!” Kari gasped, abruptly sitting upright.
Her sudden startle, sent a shockwave through him. He bolted upright, mind racing. “What?”
“All my groceries. They were in the back of Erik's car. I don't– I don't have money to buy more.”
He chuckled, tugging her back to lean against him. He could not believe she would panic over such a small thing. “Don't worry about it. I've got it.”
“But, that's not–”
“Kari,” he interrupted her, grabbing her chin and forcing her eyes to meet his. “I'll take care of it. Understand?”
“Yes.”
She answered correctly but he could see - could sense - her hesitation, that wavering confidence. Something he needed to alleviate.
He released her chin to tenderly caress her cheek before guiding her forehead to press against his. “I'll take care of you.” He repeated, hoping his words would sink into her mind and plant there, for he meant every one. “Whatever you need. Groceries. New clothes. A car. I'll get it, you just tell me. Okay?”
“You don't have to. It's not–”
“I want to.” He interrupted. “I want to take care of you. Don't you understand. I…I failed you but that won't happen again. Please, kitten. Please, just let me do this.”
Time paused as he waited for her reply, for her agreement, for a sign. Anything! Forehead still pressed to his, she slowly breathed. Panic might have crept in to discourage him if he had not been able to feel her hand playing with his hair at the nape of his neck. She was still so relaxed, so trusting, in his lap. He knew all he had to do was wait.
And so he waited for her.
Like he promised he would.
Finally, she quietly sighed out her response before slipping back against his chest and cuddling close. “Thank you, Ivar.”
A wave of gratitude and affection filled his soul. A dopey grin on his face, he tugged her closer and laid his head back on hers.
Part 1 (sequel #4 to UNLEASHED, UNDENIABLE, and UNEXPECTED)
Alex + Modern Ivar
Mentions of Female Reader + Hvitserk
NSFW 18+ ONLY
If you're new here and want to catch up, just go to my pinned master list. The first chapter is UNLEASHED then UNDENIABLE, then UNEXPECTED, and now UNPREDICTABLE...
This was supposed to be just a one-shot, but here we are. At this point, I have no idea how many chapters this will end up consiating of. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it!🔥
And a special thanks to @lostasalice-thisway for all of the help & support, suggestions, and ideas! 😘
Summary: During a hot weekend with your classmate, Alex, and his best friend, Ivar, the two of them had their own fun together. And now, it had turned into an entire relationship between the two of them that neither of them had seen coming. Now, that reality had set in, they navigate the relationship and all that comes along with it, the good, the bad, and the unexpected. Now that they were just getting into the swing of things and finding their groove, Ivar's ex fiance comes back into the picture, and it seems she is sure to shake things up.
Warnings, The sequel in general:
Totally NSFW, Unprotected anal sex (male receiving), oral, male to male contact and more, a bad case of the feels, language, smut, with me, there is ALWAYS smut. 🤣 Each chapter will have its own warnings.
This chapter: Language, smut, of course, oral, major case of the feels, *inaccurate medical descriptions, diagnosis, and practices,* Ivar being Ivar
Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!
Words: I don't know; too MANY to count
Let me know if you want on or off the tag list!
Note from me: My apologies for how long this has taken. This chapter isn't super long, but it sets the tone for what the chapters in UNPREDICTABLE will be like.
As if it suddenly hit Hvitserk what Alex had suggested, he suddenly said, "Wait. What? Are you out of your fucking mind? Did you forget who we're talking about here? You can not be serious. She's literally the most manipulative person I've ever met. No, you guys can't do something so irresponsible," Hvitserk practically yelled at Alex.
"It's a valuable solution, Hvits," Alex answered, ignoring his clear agitation and waiting for Ivar to speak up.
"No. Absolutely not. No fucking way. Hvitserk's right. If I bring her here, it'll only bring bad things. Thank you so much, Love," Ivar stepped closer and placed his hand lovenly on Alex's cheek, "But we have to come up with something else."
"But Ivar, what will we do if she has to leave? That's not her fault. She'll take Ivy with her, and you're already so in love with your baby girl, as am I. We can't lose Ivy, Ivar. We just can't."
Ivar looked to Hvitserk and back to Alex. His heart broke just thinking about it.
Hvitserk growled, as he saw the look in Ivar's eyes, "No! Ivar, you can't be seriously be entertaining this!"
Alex and Ivar arrived at the hospital. They'd left Ivy with Hvitserk and Y/N. Ivar was adamant that Katia wasn't leaving the country with his daughter, and they would just have to find some kind of solution. Alex reassured him that he meant what he'd suggested if it came down to it.
Overwhelmed with the idea, Ivar opened Katia's hospital door, letting Alex walk through.
Katia looked up at them with a tear stained face. "Ivar, I promise this isn't my doing. You can talk to any of the doctors here. I know how this must look, what you must be thinking. I promise," her voice trailed off and she dropped her head into her hands.
Ivar looked to Alex, and he simply nodded at him and motioned for him to go to Katia.
Ivar was quickly at Katia's side with Alex following behind him. He pulled the chair up beside her bed and grabbed her hand, "Katia, I know this isn't one of your games. I believe you. I just need to know, though, how can I help? What can I do to ensure that my baby girl, that I only just now have," he grimaced at the thought of the lost year but quickly pushed it out of his head, "Does not have to leave the country so quickly?"
Katia looked up at him sadly, "There's nothing you can do, Ivar. It's not your fault. My insurance is being very difficult, and everything I'll need is just too much to pay for a facility here without coverage by insurance."
"What, exactly, is it that you need?"
She explained how she can't be left alone for too long at a time. Her motor skills weren't working properly because of a few complications that she didn't give details about, and it made the possibility of her falling again very likely. The doctors believed that with some intense physical therapy and time, she would be able to be left alone again, but for the meanwhile, she needed assistance. No facility there accepted her insurance and, even though having a therapist visit her at her home was possible if she paid out of pocket, it was extremely expensive and she basically needed someone with her around the clock. There was absolutely no way she could afford that, so she had to go back home. "It would only be until I get a little better, Ivar, and the doctors think that should happen pretty fast with the intense therapy. As soon as it's possible, I will come back here. I promise you. And you know you are welcome to come visit Ivy whenever you want."
"Well, why can't she just stay here with me then? And I'll bring her to see you every single weekend. I'll even have papers drawn up by my lawyers that say she's only temporarily with me so you don't worry about it. It's only to help you, Katia, not to take her from you. Besides, where will she be while you're in the facility there? This way she'll be one less thing you have to worry about."
"Ivar, that's sweet, but, umm, they have childcare there. And for no extra money. Plus, part of my therapy will be how to care for her while I'm having these issues. I can't learn that if I don't have her with me to care for."
Ivar stood and turned around. He grinded his teeth together into a snarl and suddenly slammed his fist into the table, causing it to crack. Alex immediately stood at his side and grabbed his hand to be sure it was ok. He held it in his, brought it to his lips, and softly kissed it. He could see the tears bubbling up in Ivar's eyes, and he knew exactly how he was feeling. He felt the same. For Ivy not be be his, biologically, he had quickly grown to absolutely adore her.
Katia looked on in awe. She was impressed with how well Alex knew Ivar and was able to calm him a little so quickly. She could tell by watching them that what they had seriously was love. She'd doubted it until that moment. It was something about the way Alex looked at Ivar. It was quite beautiful, but she felt herself growing more and more jealous. How had it come to this? Her competition was not only some serious competition, but he was a man. How would she compete with that? Especially now that she knew she had to leave.
Alex drew her back to the present moment, "Katia, please excuse us. We'll be right back." She watched as Ivar dropped his head and never looked at her. They walked out the door hand in hand. She couldn't help but think how that should be her walking with Ivar and holding his hand.
As they reached a private waiting room, Alex stopped to talk with Ivar. He faced him, placed his hand on his cheek, and wiped the one, single tear away that escaped his eye, "Ivar, I know everything is happening so fast, and I understand your apprehension, but we can't let her take Ivy back with her. Look, what else can you do? Let her stay with you. Your place is plenty big enough, and I'll help you all I can. Whenever you need a break, you can always come to my place and get one of those nurses to stay over one night. I'm sure Y/N amd Hvitserk will help all they can, too."
Ivar just looked at him in amazement. How did he get this lucky? Alex did make valid points, but Ivar was just really nervous about having Katia in his home again. He still didn't trust her, and he couldn't lose Alex over her bullshit and, unfortunately, he knew she came along with lots of bullshit no matter how her health was.
"Ivar, I will even help pay for her therapy. I know how expensive it will be, but she just can't leave with Ivy. I know you know this, too."
Ivar looked at Alex's pleading eyes. He knew Alex was right. "Absolutely not!" Alex was shocked as Ivar continued, "Absolutely not. If I agree to this, if I move her into my home, practically our home, Love, you absolutely will not pay for anything! Do you hear me? Nothing."
Alex smiled, "That's sweet, Ivar, but,"
Ivar interrupted him, "Absolutely not. I'm serious. You know I can afford it. I'll be ok. We'll be ok, but the only way I agree to do this is if you fully understand that I will not accept you paying for anything. She's the mother of my child. This is my responsibility."
"But it doesn't have to be only your's. I can help. I want to. I love Ivy, too."
"I know you do, but it's just not right. Ok?" Ivar stared deeply into Alex's eyes, "But you're serious about this, aren't you? You honestly think it's a good idea to have her in my home?"
Alex felt his nerves creeping into his thoughts, "It is risky, yes. I understand that. We'll just need to set very clear boundaries and expectations with her before she actually starts living there. We give her no room for interpretation. And Ivar, we continue to believe and trust in eachother. We already know that communication is key, so we agree now that we don't let her come between us. Period. I love you too much for that."
Ivar placed his hand on Alex's cheek and neck and rested his forehead on his. "I seriously love you. You are truly amazing." He leaned down and kissed his lips softly. "Let's go tell her," he said to Alex as he pulled away.
They walked back into Katia's room, still hand in hand. Her heart sank a little at the simple display of affection. "We need to talk with you, Katia," Ivar told her as they sat down beside the hospital bed.
"Umm, ok," she silently panicked. Ivar told her of Alex's suggestion for her to stay with him until she was cleared to be on her own. "I, umm, I don't know what to say, Ivar," she said as her eyes widened and watered.
"Say yes," he smiled.
"This was the last thing I ever expected from you. Wow! Thank you so much, Ivar. How can I ever repay you?"
"Well, you can start by thanking Alex. This was all his idea."
She stared blankly, completely shocked. As much as she wanted to hate Alex, she couldn't deny what Ivar already knew: he really was a great person. She understood, now, why Ivar had ended up with him. Apparently, they both had a selfless heart. That was truly something she'd always admired about Ivar. "Wow! Umm, Alex? Thank you. I don't even know how to express to you how much this means to me. I want Ivy to be with her father and thanks to you, it's still going to be possible." She held her arms up toward him for a hug. He looked at Ivar and Ivar nodded. Alex stood and leaned down and hugged her. He hopped they weren't making a severe mistake.
It took some convincing, but with Y/N's help, they were finally able to get Hvitserk on board, to some degree, with Katia moving in with his little brother. He and Y/N even helped them set up everything. They worked, setting up Katia's room in one of the spare bedrooms downstairs while Alex and Ivar made one of the extra rooms upstairs into a bedroom for Ivy. Since Ivar's room was upstairs as well, it made the most sense.
They enjoyed painting the room and decorating it for a little girl. While painting, Alex watched Ivar, humming and smiling. It warmed his heart. As he looked on, he realized it also warmed other areas of his body as well. Ivar had taken his shirt off and Alex watched as sweat rolled down his muscular back. He could handle the view no longer.
Heart pounding and adjusting himself in what was now a tight crotch area, Alex walked a little closer to Ivar. He came up behind Ivar and Ivar jumped, "Oh, shit! You startled me!" Ivar said, turning his head to see Alex. "What, umm, are you...?" And Alex interrupted his train of thought as he placed his arms around Ivar's waist from behind and swiftly pulled him flesh with his chest. Ivar, only wearing sweatpants, felt Alex's hard excitement against his ass, through his pants. "Oh! Ok. Really? My sweaty, stinky body does it for you, does it?" He grinned, rubbing his ass into Alex's groin.
"Absolutely," Alex softly said in a sultry voice into Ivar's ear as he leaned down and nibbled into the base of Ivar's neck, rendering Ivar helpless as he felt his own manhood twitch.
He dropped the paintbrush and immediately turned around in Alex's arms, "Fuck, I love it when you're so forward with me." He leaned in and sloppily kissed Alex, barely stopping for air. Alex pulled away and began kissing down Ivar's neck to his chest. "Wait. What are you...?" And at that time, Alex bit his nipple as his tongue flicked over it. His head fell back in delight.
Alex continued his wet kisses down Ivar's chest until he was on his knees in front of him. He looked up at Ivar, eyes questioning him. Ivar, not willing to say no, hesitated, "What about Y/N and Hvitserk? They're just downstairs, Love."
As Alex quickly yanked Ivar's sweats down over his plump ass, freeing his, now, throbbing erection, Alex looked up and answered, "They're busy. And," grabbing Ivar tightly in his hand, "I can't resist you."
He grabbed a handful of Ivar's ass with his other hand and squeezed as he slowly sunk his mouth down over Ivar's length. He twirled his tongue around him, massaging him as his tongue swept over veins that felt like they'd bust. He began pumping him up and down in rhythm with his mouth.
Ivar groaned and stumbled back into the wet wall, getting his shoulder covered in pink paint. "Oh shit!" Alex panicked as he pulled his mouth off of Ivar.
Ivar looked down and laughed, "I don't even care." Between gasps, he panted, "You know how much I love your fucking magical mouth." He placed his hands on the top of Alex's head and urged him to continue.
Smiling, Alex quickly sucked him back into his mouth and began working on him again as his hand made its way into his own pants to find his ever ready cock anxious for him to relieve its pressure. Alex moaned, causing vibrations around Ivar. Ivar whimpered, "Aww fuck!" as his eyes rolled into the back of his head.
"Hey, guys, what did you do with the hammer? I need it to...," Hvitserk pushed the cracked door open and walked into the room, dropping the picture he had in his hands as he looked up and saw the two of them. "Oh hell! Fuck! What tha, SHIT! I'm so fucking sorry!" Hvitserk studdered. He instantly turned back to the door and stumbled back out of the room. Slamming the door shut, he studdered out, "The fuck! Umm, you, I don't, uh, WHY, fuck! Learn to lock the fucking door! Damn!" and he practically ran back down the stairs.
Alex had completely stopped everything and dropped his hands, both from himself and from Ivar. Ivar just stood there in total silence, at an absolute loss for words. Alex looked up at him, "I-I'm sorry. I didn't, umm, I didn't expect him to barge in like that."
Ivar looked down to Alex and cupped his cheek, "It's, umm, don't worry. It's ok. Trust me, he's found me in way more compromising situations. He'll get over it soon enough."
"And you? Are you ok? I'm so sorry."
"Aside from us having to stop so abruptly, I'm fine, Alex," he smiled. He pulled Alex to him and softly kissed him. Reluctantly pulling away from Alex's lips, he rested his forehead against Alex's, "Hvits has seen me in way more compromising situations. Trust me."
"I don't even wanna know."
"Yeah, probably not. So? Later tonight? After everyone is sleeping?" Ivar asked sheepishly as his cheeks flushed red.
"Some things never change, huh?" Alex kissed him again. "And to answer your question, of course we can finish up later tonight. As if I could forget." They both laughed and decided to finish the painting.
"Maybe you should take the hammer to Hvitserk," Ivar suggested to Alex.
Alex snapped his head around to him, "Are you out of your damn mind? No way! I'll be lucky if I ever face him again."
Ivar laughed, "I was just fucking with you." Alex picked up one of Ivy's stuffed animals and threw it at him. "HEY!"
They finished up in Ivy's room and Hvitserk and Y/N finished Katia's. After much awkward small talk, Hvitserk and Y/N left, nobody ever mentioning what had happened earlier.
The plan was for them to pick Katia up from the hospital the next morning so they agreed it was time for them to get some rest. Alex insisted that Ivar took a shower to get the paint off of himself while he cleaned up dinner dishes. "Then, after that, I want you in my bed, mister," Ivar flirted, "Or more accurately, I just want you." He smacked Alex on the ass and rushed upstairs to the shower.
Alex heard the shower cut off, so he quickly turned all the lights off downstairs. He excitedly rushed up the stairs to Ivar, the anticipation burning in his pants. He gently pushed the door open, already taking his shirt off and preparing to jump in the bed beside Ivar. "I hope you're ready for this, because I have seriously been waiting on it all day." His voice trailed off as he looked over to the bed and saw Ivar laying on his back with his arms under his head, snoring. He stepped closer, "Ivar?"
Ivar moved a little, never opening his eyes, and sighed in his deep sleep.
Alex knew he was exhausted from all of the moving of Katia's things and changing Ivy's room around, so he decided not to wake him. He also knew he could use his hand in the shower if he really needed to, but that just wasn't quite the same. A bit disappointed, but still understanding of the much needed sleep, he went to take his own shower. Alone.
It had been about three weeks, now, that Katia had been at Ivar's. Everyone seemed to still be adjusting. It was definitely different. Ivar had arranged for there to be a nurse there with her each day and a different one would come on the weekends so that he could tend to his responsibilities at the bar. She had also informed him that she was available to work other nights as well, if he needed it. He was sure to keep that in mind because he had a feeling it wouldn't be long before he would need to take her up on her offer. Along with all of the new living arrangements and adjusting to there being an extra adult in the house, they'd also been planning Ivy's one year birthday party. Katia had told Ivar that it wasn't necessary since she was still so young and wouldn't remember, but Ivar had insisted. So stating that things had been a little hectic around Ivar's home was an understatement.
Katia had been doing well with her therapy. Ivar had ensured that she had everything available to her at his place that she would've had access to in a facility. The nurses had been very impressed, one even saying, "Wow! He must really love you." Katia had brushed it off, but she couldn't ignore how it made her ache for Ivar's affection.
Both Ivar and Alex had been relieved that Katia had seemed to be on her best behavior, at least so far. Maybe she'd actually been grateful enough to the both of them that she'd seen the error in her ways. "Well, just don't hold your breath," Ivar said to Alex when he'd mentioned how nice and genuine Katia had seemed.
Alex gave him a disapproving look as he lifted his head from Ivar's shoulder.
They laid in Ivar's bed after a long night of trying to get Ivy to sleep. She'd seemed to have adjusted the best of all of them to having her mama and daddy in the same house, but some nights she simply wanted to be with Katia. Unfortunately, it wasn't possible because Katia was on a very strict schedule and absolutely had to sleep before the rest of them, usually even needing medicine to do so.
"What?" Ivar asked Alex, "I'm just being realistic, Love. You can never let your guard down with her. She's still capable of practically anything." Ivar noticed the look across Alex's face change, "Wh-what?"
"So am I," Alex leaned down and kissed him on his neck and then licked up to his ear where he gently bit Ivar's earlobe. "You never know what I'm capable of when it comes to you." He kissed along Ivar's jawline and to his lips where he then lightly bit his bottom one before crashing his lips into Ivar's. Ivar's arms instantly wrapped around Alex, holding him to his chest tightly. He moaned and gasped between kisses and felt the heat rising in his body. Alex pulled slightly away, "Is this ok? We won't have any surprises again, will we? I mean, umm, with Katia downstairs and Ivy just in the next room?"
"Yes! Fuck yes! It's been so long. I've missed you. I need you! Now!" Ivar's heart began to pound with anticipation.
"Ivar, it was just last week. Not that long ago," Alex smiled and kissed him again.
"That's a fucking lifetime. We used to be together every single fucking day. I'm so sorry, Love. I know how difficult..."
Alex placed his finger over Ivar's lips, "Shhh, it's ok. We knew there would be adjustments. Now, I just want you to fuck me!" His eyes bore a hole into Ivar as Ivar's mouth dropped in surprise. "Well?"
Ivar suddenly rolled over with Alex still in his arms, caging him underneath his body. "You want me to fuck you, do you?" he licked his lips. Alex grinned as his breathing began to speed up. Ivar stared down at Alex and lowered his head to his chest, where he began kissing and nibbling. He felt his dick twitch in his underwear at the feel of Alex's hot skin on his lips.
It was at that very moment when the baby monitor went off from the next room, and they heard Ivy's small voice cry out, "Dada!" Ivar's entire body stiffened in it's place. Usually, whenever she'd wake in the middle of the night, she'd be crying for Katia.
"Fuck!" Ivar grunted as he heard Ivy cry out for him again.
"Ivar, it's ok. Go to her. She's crying for you," Alex said, gently.
Reluctantly, Ivar crawled off the bed and quickly threw on his grey sweats that Alex loved to see him in. As he got to his feet, he worryingly looked back at Alex, "I'm so sorry, Love."
"Ivar, seriously, it's ok. I think it's bothering you more than it is me. Go to her. She needs you," he paused, and then said, "Daddy."
Ivar gave his shit eating grin, "Damn you."
Adjusting himself, he walked to the door. He looked over his shoulder, back to Alex, "We will pick up exactly where we left off, correct?"
"Go!" Alex blushed.
When he got to Ivy's room, there she stood in her bed, alongside the rail and stretched out her arms to him. "Dada," she cried again. Ivar's heart raced. He couldn't help the excitement he felt hearing her cry for him for the first time when she'd awakened from her slumber. He was also surprised to see her standing at the rail.
Reaching her bed, he leaned down and scooped her up into his arms, "What is it my sweet girl? Are you wet? And I guess it won't be long before we change your bed into a toddler bed, humm?" He laid her down on the changing table to change her diaper, but it was dry. She reached her arms up for him again. He noticed she wasn't crying. As he picked her up from rhe changing table, she laid her head on his shoulder, "My dada," she sweetly said in a soft voice.
Ivar was shocked. That was the first time she'd ever said anything like that. He looked down at her and she'd closed her eyes. Had she seriously only woke up because she wanted him? He held her for a few moments and then walked back toward her bed. She immediately opened her eyes. He grinned and instead, walked to the rocking chair by her bed. He sat down in it and began to rock her. He rubbed her back as he began humming softly.
Alex had gotten up to see if there was anything he could do to help. As he reached Ivy's door, standing in the dark hallway, he heard Ivar's soft voice humming. He peaked into the room from the cracked open door and saw the beautiful scene of Ivar rocking his baby girl under the dim lamplight as he hummed to her. Alex rested in the doorway and watched as Ivar began softly singing to her, "You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you. You'd be like heaven to touch. I wanna hold you so much. At long last, love has arrived and I thank God I'm alive. You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you."
Alex's heart swelled at the sight. He swore he fell in love all over again in that very moment. He leaned off of the doorway and turned to walk back to Ivar's room. Ivar clearly didn't need his help, he thought, smiling warmly. He then heard Ivar's quiet voice, "Don't leave. Come in."
He was surprised that Ivar had known he'd been standing there. He thought he'd been quite. "I-I'm sorry. Didn't mean to disturb you."
"Where are you going?" Ivar whispered.
"Back to your room. I'll be there when you're finished here. Take your time. I'll be fine."
"But you don't have to leave, Love," Ivar's voice was soft and smooth, "She's nearly back to sleep. Come in."
Alex was hesitant. He couldn't help but feel he'd intruded, but he slowly stepped to Ivar, still sitting in the chair, rocking Ivy.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt such a sweet moment," Alex placed his hand on Ivar's cheek, "But you are so beautiful as her dad." He leaned down and softly kissed Ivar on the forehead.
Ivar felt his heart jump in his chest and he blushed. He was glad the dim lamplight was the only light in the room.
"You really should sing to her more often, Ivar. Your voice is amazing."
Standing, Ivar answered, "I know where this is going and umm, it's not happening." Ivar smiled at him as he began to try to lay Ivy back down in her bed.
"Well, you can't blame me for trying," Alex smiled back at him.
As Ivy's head hit the pillow and he began to cover her up, her eyes instantly opened wide and she cried, "Daddy! No!" She reached her arms back up toward him, "Daddy!"
Ivar looked at Alex apologetically, almost as if asking what to do. Alex answered his wordless question, "Ivar, weren't you just saying how you were worried about how she never wakes up crying for you, but always for Katia, humm?" He smiled a soft smile at Alex, picking Ivy back up and into his arms. "Bring her with you. She can sleep with us."
Ivar looked worried, "But weren't we finally going to.." he started.
"Shhh. It's ok. That can wait. She's what's important, and she needs her sleep," Alex stretched and yawned. "Speaking of which, so do I. C'mon." He looked back at Ivar as he headed to the door. "Seriously, don't worry. I promise it's ok."
Ivar couldn't help but worry anyway as he followed Alex out Ivy's bedroom door with Ivy in his arms. He knew sex wasn't the main thing in their relationship; they meant so much more to eachother, but he also knew they were both only human and still had their needs. He wasn't even exactly sure when the last time was that they'd been together, and he knew that was a problem. He'd thought it was only a couple of days ago, but as Alex had pointed out earlier, apparently it was last week. Going from daily, and sometimes even a couple of times a day, to only a couple of times a week, at best, was sure to have an effect on their relationship regardless of the new circumstances causing it. He felt a lump in his throat and had a difficult time swallowing it down.
As usual, Alex was awake with the first glimmer of sunlight. This time, he'd actually even woke up before Ivy, probably because he was a little restless. Seeing Ivar sleeping with Ivy on his chest had to be the sweetest thing ever. He certainly felt fortunate to be a part of it all. He wanted, so badly, to kiss him awake, but he knew how much Ivar needed his rest, he'd really been stretched thin lately, and plus, what kissing him awake would start was something they wouldn't be able to finish considering Ivy was in the bed as well.
With a sigh, he slowly creeped out of bed, careful not to wake them, and went to the bathroom to take a shower.
He had a lot on his mind as he stood under the hot water. He'd been honest with Ivar when he'd told him Ivy was what's important, so he was trying to understand why he was feeling so neglected. He knew he was being selfish and felt so guilty, but he couldn't help how badly he was missing his boyfriend's touch, his kisses, his moans. His morning wood certainly wasn't helping how he felt.
"Fuck it!" he finally said out loud when he felt the twinge in his ever growing manhood and decided his hand was better than nothing at this point.
Envisioning Ivar in bed beside him, chest rising and falling with his deep breathing, his hand slowly traveled down his torso and to his swollen dick. His breath hitched as he wrapped his hand tightly around himself and began to move it up and down. He instantly let out a whine of relief. His other hand pressed against the shower wall in front of him for support as the water hit him in the face and his movements sped up. It wasn't Ivar but damn, did it feel good! He looked down at himself and imagined Ivar looking up at him. He grunted a little louder than he'd intended.
"Alex?" he knew it had been too long if he was even hearing Ivar's voice. His breathing sped up and he again heard, "Alex," but this time from behind himself.
His heart stopped when he turned around to see Ivar standing there, naked, in the middle of the bathroom, watching him. He dropped his hand from himself. "Oh, you scared me! I umm, I-I'm.."
Ivar walked closer to the shower and smiled his devilish grin, "Mind if I join you?"
"Umm, Ivy?"
"With the therapist," Ivar opened the door to the shower, "So? Do you mind?"
"Of course not," Alex blushed. "I was umm, just, I..."
"Doing my job. I'm so sorry, Love," Ivar stood behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist and yanked him to his chest. "You've been so patient with me and I owe you." He leaned down and tenderly bit Alex's bare shoulder, sending chills all over him. Ivar's hands quickly took over what Alex had been doing. "Let me help you out here," and he began sucking on the side of Alex's neck while his hand held him tightly and began to vigorously pump him.
Alex drooped his head backwards onto Ivar's shoulder as he began panting. Ivar's other hand started to roam and quickly found Alex's tight, plump ass. He squeezed a handful of it as he put his knee between Alex's, separating his legs a little. With the new position of Alex's legs, Ivar moved his fingers down to Alex's opening and rubbed as he applied gentle pressure. Alex eyes rolled into the back of his head as he yelled out Ivar's name in a raspy voice.
"That's it, say my name. Scream it!" Ivar whispered into Alex's ear as he licked his earlobe. "Let me know how badly you want to come."
As he dipped just the tip of his finger into Alex and sped up his pumping on his cock, Alex moaned out, "Oh, fuck, Ivar! I wa, umm, I need your mouth. Please. Ivar, suck me!"
Ivar was surprised. Alex had never directly asked for that before and he'd never given him a true, full on blow job. He rolled it around in his mind as he continued pumping his hand around Alex and his finger in and out of him.
After a moment longer, he thought it was the least he could do to show his appreciation for Alex's patience and understanding. He slowly kissed down Alex's neck to his collarbone. Once he reached his shoulder, he moved his hands away from Alex and giggled at Alex's whines from the absence and emptiness his hands left.
He swiftly turned Alex around to face him and then walked him backwards against the shower wall. Alex grunted at the coldness, but instantly felt warmth when he began to interpret Ivar's actions.
Looking him fiercely in his eyes, Ivar asked, "You want to put your engorged dick in my mouth, do you? You want my wet, hot lips wrapped around you until you can't see straight and you're crying my name?"
Alex tangled his hands in Ivar's wet hair and yanked him forcefully into him. "Fuck, yes, I do!" His mouth crashed into Ivar's before Ivar could even react, sloppily kissing him, ignoring his body gasping for air.
Ivar's hands began roaming frantically as he couldn't seem to get close enough to Alex. His heart raced as he slowly pulled away form Alex and began kissing down his body. His fingers trailed slowly behind, rubbing across Alex's chest as light as a feather.
Alex watched him with incredulous eyes as he got onto his knees. As Ivar looked up to him, batting his eyes innocently, Alex's heart skipped a beat from the anticipation. He couldn't believe this was really going to happen. Of all the ways Ivar could pleasure him, this had not been one that Ivar had been particularly fond of and, Alex had graciously understood.
However, this seemed to be the day all that would change. Alex grabbed Ivar under the chin and held him in his gaze. "Are you sure about this? You don't really have to, ya know? I'll be fine," Alex lied.
Ivar grinned again and blew him a kiss as he licked his lips. Alex trembled with excitement. Ivar thought of how he liked it himself and quickly, he cupped Alex's balls with one hand and wrapped his other tightly around the base of Alex's dick. He licked slowly from the base to the tip, as if savoring the taste, and flicked his tongue across the head. He looked up to Alex when he heard him yelp at the pleasure consuming his entire body. "Oh? Did you like that?"
Alex only moaned, "Umm, humm," so Ivar did it again. Alex's grip in Ivar's hair tightened and he pressed his head forward. Grinning, Ivar sucked the tip of Alex into his mouth. He twirled his tongue around it just long enough to draw insanely high pitched squeals from Alex. He finally let his mouth sink down around Ivar's length as far as he could go without triggering his gag reflexes. He began to suck as if his life depended on it. This wasn't his favorite thing to do, but hearing how he was affecting Alex was well worth it.
"I," Alex sighed between panting, "Won't last," and breathing heavily, "Long."
Ivar winked up at him, enjoying the sense of power he had over Alex. He put two of his fingers in his mouth beside Alex's throbbing cock, causing Alex to moan out his name. Smiling, he took his fingers back out of his mouth and ran them along the edge of Alex's opening causing Alex to arch his back and curl his toes. He growled with sheer animal instinct. Ivar pressed the tip of his finger into Alex and Alex felt his knees go weak as he whimpered and took in a sharp breath.
Ivar's motions quickened as did Alex's heartrate. He began humming as he continued sucking. The vibrations caused Alex to tremble all over, and he rolled his hips into Ivar's face. Alex felt the heat within rising as his eyes rolled into the back of his head.
With Ivar continuing to hum, Alex lost all control and yelled out, "Ivar! Move! I'm com..." He couldn't finish his words but pushed Ivar's head. Ivar didn't move but continued working on him, his tongue remaining diligent, until he suddenly felt Alex's hot cum spraying into the back of his throat. He continued bobbing his head up and down on Alex until he miked him dry and Alex was falling apart.
Alex was completely spent as Ivar released him from his mouth with a pop. He quickly got to his feet in the shower in front of Alex, and Alex collapsed in his arms. "I-I'm uhh, I'm sorry. I couldn't pull out of your delicious mouth fast enough. I know you didn't want," and Ivar placed his fingers over Alex's mouth.
He looked at Alex's plump, pink lips, "May I?"
"Hell yes!"
Ivar's mouth instantly pressed desperately against Alex's as they lost themselves in the moment of passion. Gasping for air, Ivar pulled away from Alex a bit and rested his forehead on Alex's. "Don't apologize. I had time to move. I didn't want to." He placed his hands on either side of Alex's face and gently kissed him again. "I'm sorry it's taken so many tries just to do this much. I want to be sure you know I still want you, in every way possible for one person to want another. None of that has changed." Alex felt his heartrate beginning to speed up again. "I don't know where the days have gone. We've just been so busy, but I promise I'll make more time for you, for us. I love you, Alex."
Alex kissed him back before saying, "You don't owe me any apologies. I understand, Ivar. Sure, it can be difficult because you're so fucking desirable, but I understand and I know it doesn't mean that you love me any less." He smiled sweetly. "Now," his hands began rubbing up and down Ivar's spine, "It's your turn."
He kissed Ivar as his right hand tangled into his hair and pulled him even closer and his other hand rubbed down his back to his ass, grabbing a handful.
As Ivar moaned into Alex's mouth, they heard a knock at his bedroom door. They both stiffened, realizing the bathroom door was still open.
Just barely, over the sound of the shower and the distance from the bedroom door to the bathroom, they heard the small voice of Katia's therapist, "Umm, Ivar? I'm sorry to bother you, but umm.."
"Yes? What is it, Sara?" Ivar yelled back as he started getting out of the shower.
"I'm so sorry to bother you, Sir, but it's Ivy."
Ivar's heart sank as he quickly grabbed a towel and Alex reached down to shut the shower off. "What happened? I'm coming," he looked back at Alex apologetically as he said the words. "I'm just getting out of the shower."
"She's ok, Sir, but we can't soothe her. She's crying for you and won't let either one of us touch her. It began to upset Katia, so I thought I should come tell you."
Ivar's mouth dropped as he looked at Alex in shock while he got out of the shower. "Go to her, Ivar! Go! I'll be right behind you.," Alex reassured him. "But, I owe you one," he grinned.
"It's ok. It's not your fault," Ivar told him as he slipped on his sweatpants, not bothering to get his shirt, and rushed out the door.
Alex walked into the living room to see Ivar sitting on the sofa beside Katia with Ivy in his arms, talking to her. He didn't notice Alex yet, but Katia saw him out of the corner of her eyes. She leaned in closer to Ivar and placed her arm around his shoulders as her other hand went to Ivy and rubbed her head. "Oh, sweetheart, you just wanted daddy in here with us, didn't you? You're so smart. You know the three of us are better together." Her words were thick with false sweetness that made Alex's stomach turn. He decided to go to the kitchen rather than joining them, giving himself the opportunity to not say something stupid. He knew the game she was playing and he was going to do his best not to participate.
Standing at the kitchen counter, Alex decided he'd make breakfast for everyone. That would keep his mind busy. "Who's hungry? I'm going to cook breakfast for us."
Ivar turned around, "Hey, Love. I didn't hear you come down. That's very sweet of you. Would you like some help?"
"No, I'm good. Thanks though. You spend time with Ivy."
Before Ivar had a chance to respond, Katia interjected, "It's like you read my mind, Alex. I was going to tell you guys that I plan on cooking dinner for us tonight." Looking back to Ivar she said, "I'm going to make your favorite, sushi. Remember how you used to always say how you almost loved my sushi more than you loved me?" She looked back at Alex, who sounded like he'd choked on something, and then to Ivar again. "I just thought it would be a way to show you how much I appreciate all you've done for me. For us. Of course, I have other ways as well, but thought I'd start with feeding you."
Ivar, almost instinctively, stood up and walked over to Alex before Katia had a chance to say anything else, who seemed to still be choking. "Here, Love. Drink some water. Are you ok?"
He drank the water down, "Umm, yeah, thanks. Yeah, umm, I'm good."
Sara, feeling a bit uncomfortable now, stood and told Katia, "Since Ivy is all about her dad this morning, why don't we leave her with him and go to the treadmill until breakfast is ready?"
Katia looked up to her, "I think walking on the treadmill with Ivy in my arms would be good for me, too. I need more practice walking with her." She glanced back to Ivar, "Had it not been for sweet Ivar when I fell in the park, I could've really hurt her because she was in my arms. If Ivar comes with us, I'm sure Ivy will be fine. She just seems to want her mommy and daddy together." She made brief eye contact with Alex, attempting to innocently smile at him, giving him a sickening knot in his stomach, "That is, of course, as long as Alex doesn't mind if we borrow his man."
She stressed the word, "his," a little too obviously and Ivar felt himself growing angry and annoyed with her. What was she doing? Things had been good so far, so he couldn't understand where this nastiness was coming from.
Sara looked over to Alex apologetically and he shrugged it off.
As Ivar opened his mouth to say exactly what he was thinking, Alex placed his hand on his and said, "Oh, of course, I don't mind if Ivar helps his baby girl feel more comfortable... umm, with you while I cook for us. Go ahead, Babe. I'll let you know when the food is ready." Ivar just stared at him in complete shock as Alex winked at him. What the fuck had he found himself in the middle of?
"Are you sure, Alex?" he asked him in utter shock. "I can stay here with you and help you." He was sure he was in the twilight zone.
He looked Ivar straight in his eyes so he'd know he was serious, "Yes, I'm sure. Anything for Ivy."
Reassured, he turned to walk to the make shift gym door. As he grabbed the door knob and motioned for Katia and Sara to come in with him, Ivy turned in his arms and reached toward Alex. "Ale," she said. Everyone in the room snapped their head around to her.
Ivar, in complete disbelief because she'd never said Alex's name before, asked, "What did you say, baby girl? Did you say Alex?"
She looked up to him and back to Alex. Smiling, she repeated, "Ale." She stretched her arms out toward him. Alex bubbled over with emotion as Ivar turned and walked back to him. "See? Even Ivy knows how special you are," Ivar told him.
When he was standing beside a, now, speechless Alex, Ivy lunged for him, arms open wide. Alex grabbed her from Ivar and she laid her head on his chest. He hugged her as he felt his face flush red with pride. "Ale," she softly said again.
Alex batted his eyes to blink away the tears that threatened to roll down his face. "Wow! I can't believe she said my name!" he said in his most shocked voice and kissed her on the top of her head.
Katia looked over to Sara and then back to them with total disgust. Her plan had been working until Ivy had stolen the show. She did her best to stay calm and not show her jealously. She knew she'd have Ivar eating out of the palm of her hand once she got him into the gym alone with her and away from Alex.
As she looked on, Ivar was rubbing Alex's cheek lovenly with his thumb, hand placed on the side of his face, and talking softly to him. They then exchanged a sweet, celebratory kiss as if they were the only ones in the room. She remembered when Ivar used to kiss her that way, his hands on the side of her face as well. That seemed to be his signature way of kissing, she now noticed. Why had she let him slip away? How had she not noticed what she had when she had it? She felt really stupid now, but she was determined to get him back. She knew that, deep down, he still loved her, too. He was just distracted by Alex. She'd have to fix that problem and fast, before Alex dug his claws into Ivar any further.
Katia then cleared her throat and smacked her lips with a sigh. Ivar pulled away from Alex and turned around to her. "I'm sorry to interrupt your sweet moment, guys, but umm, would it be ok if we went ahead and started my therapy now? I'm feeling kind of tired on my feet already and I'd hate to lose my strength before I even get a chance to work today," she said with mocked innocence. Sara looked at her incredulously and then dropped her head when she realized exactly what Katia was doing. Katia never averted her eyes from Ivar and Alex, waiting for a response.
"Oh, umm, I'm sorry, Katia," Ivar finally answered. "We got wrapped up in this precious moment. Of course, we can get started." He turned back to Alex, who also knew exactly what Katia was doing, and mouthed the words, "I'm sorry," to him as he kissed him on the forehead and took Ivy from him. He joined Katia and Sara at the gym door. "Ok. Let's do this."
As Alex began breakfast, he wondered if Ivar saw through Katia's bullshit, too, or if he had been completely blinded. He knew he was definitely going to find out later.
A short while later, Alex let them know the food was ready. He'd already set the table for the four of them and brought Ivy's highchair from the small storage closet.
"Wow! This looks delicious, Alex! Thank you," Ivar thanked him as he looked at the incredible spread.
Closely behind him, Katia called to him, "Umm, Ivar? Would it be too much to ask you to help me to the table? I don't know what is up with me this morning, but I feel so weak. Maybe I just didn't sleep well."
He looked back at her and asked Sara if she'd take Ivy to her seat. "You were doing so well in the gym just now," Ivar worried, "What happened?" He placed his arm around Katia's waist as she leaned into him and walked using Ivar for support.
Sara spoke up, almost apologetically, "I informed Katia that she may have some days or period of times when she'd feel weaker than usual. It's quite normal with all the intense therapy she's been doing." Katia smiled at Alex. "But Katia, this is a good sign. This means that your body is doing exactly what it should be and that you are, in fact, on your way to a speedy recovery. You should be back at your place and out of these two's hair in practically no time." She looked to Alex and winked. He couldn't help but grin, realizing what Sara was doing.
"Umm, how does me doing worse right now mean that I'm actually doing good?" Katia panicked at the thought of having to move out so soon. "I feel like I could fall over at any moment. If I was at my place alone with Ivy, I could possibly fall with her again and maybe even hurt her this time," she looked at Ivar expectantly, obvious to Sara and Alex how she was trying to manipulate him.
As Ivar clinched his jaw at the thought and began to speak, Sara interrupted him. "Katia, the reason you fell before is because your brain wasn't processing what your body was needing properly. Your brain is what's been giving you problems with your coordination and motor skills. This is very common with the brain.." her voice trailed off as she felt Katia grab ahold of her arm and squeeze it tightly. She saw Katia shaking her head back and forth so she didn't finish her sentence.
Understanding Katia's unspoken words, Sara continued, "So, what I'm saying is you feeling so tired now shows that your brain is working. It's finally healing and you should definitely listen to it at times like this."
At that moment, Ivar was pulling out a dining room chair for Katia to sit in. She sat down but not before over dramatically needing Ivar's help to do so. Ivar looked to Sara, "Umm, is this normal? I'm worried about her. Ivy needs her and she barely seems capable of taking care of herself, let alone our baby girl."
Alex's heart hurt a little at Ivar's words. He felt almost as if he was a third wheel to their little family. He knew that's not how Ivar meant it, but there was no overlooking the feelings such a simple statement stirred inside him. He tried not to worry, but he couldn't prevent himself from remembering how young and new their relationship still was and that Ivar and Katia not only had a very deep past but now, also a child.
He began to panic a bit. What if it would be better for Ivy if her parents got back together? What if his presence in Ivar's life was preventing something more pure and much stronger from happening between them? What if he was just in the way and without him there, they'd already be back together? Wasn't that what Ivy truly deserved? A real family?
Sara's voice dragged him out of his deep thoughts, but not before Ivar noticed and looked at him quizzically. Alex just shrugged his shoulders as if whatever it was wasn't a big deal, but he knew by the look across Ivar's face that he knew better and probably wouldn't forget to ask about it later when it was just the two of them.
Sara did her best to reassure Ivar that Katia was ok without coming straight out and telling him that she believed Katia was exaggerating like this on purpose., being a bit dramatic for his attention. She hadn't been working with them that long and still wasn't sure of what was ok to address with him. She knew she'd have a conversation with Alex first, to kind of test the waters, before she discussed anything of that severity with Mr. Lothbrok.
They finally all sat down at the table and Alex served them. When he sat down beside Ivar, Ivar placed his hand over Alex's and gave a gentle squeeze before bringing it to his mouth and kissing his knuckles. It was a small gesture, but Alex appreciated it. It somehow made his worries subside. For now. But he did not miss the look of sheer hatred beaming off of Katia's face.
After breakfast was finished and cleaned up, Alex and Ivar decided they'd take Ivy to the park while Katia worked with her therapist. It was finally a Sunday that Alex didn't have to spend studying for one of his classes, so he was happy to spend the day with Ivar doing whatever he wanted.
As they were getting dressed in Ivar's room, Alex tried to decide if he was going to mention anything to Ivar about Katia's show before breakfast. Surely, he'd noticed how she'd exaggerated everything, too.
As if reading Alex's mind, Ivar interrupted his thoughts. "What do you think about Katia this morning?"
Relieved that Ivar brought it up on his own, Alex answered, "What? You mean how she took advantage of every opportunity to cling to you? Or how she over exaggerated her pain with her every move?"
Ivar looked confused. "Huh? No. I mean what she said about possibly falling with Ivy again. That really worried me. I don't know what I'd do if I left Ivy with her and she fell and hurt her in the process. I could never forgive myself if Ivy were to be hurt because of me. You think we should take her to another specialist? I feel like there's something she's not telling us. You know how I still don't trust her."
Ivar continued talking about how he worried about Ivy being with Katia alone and how he was hoping the therapist was as good as she seemed. He went on and on as Alex's mind was in complete disbelief. Had he seriously not noticed her manipulation tactics? Was he caught in her web, yet again? It had been Ivar who'd warned Alex about how manipulating Katia was all this time and now, he didnt see it?
"Alex? What do you think? Humm? Alex, hello?"
Snapped back to the moment at hand, Alex finally answered, "Huh? Umm, wh-what did you say?"
"Alex, are you ok?" Ivar was immediately at his side. "You've been acting strange all morning. What is it, Love?"
Thinking quickly, Alex answered, "Oh, I'm sorry. Nothing. Umm, I-I'm just umm, I'm concerned about Ivy, too." He placed his hand on Ivar's cheek. "But, Ivar?"
"Yes?"
"I umm, well, I think Katia is going to be fine. I don't think she's in all that bad of shape. Maybe encourage her to push herself? You know, don't make it easy for her to just rely on you because she's got to learn what to do when you're not there."
Leaning to Alex and hugging him, Ivar sighed a breath of relief and answered, "Deal. I'll be a little tougher on her. I know you're right." He gave him a quick kiss. "I-I'm just relieved. I thought this was about us, about you and I. I, umm, I thought you were about to leave me, Alex."
Alex hugged him tighter, "Oh God, no! Ivar, you should know better than that. I love you." Alex figured he'd just drop it for now. They could talk later.
What had been planned as an afternoon of Ivar and Alex finally spending some time alone together at the park with Ivy had turned into a trip with Katia and Sara tagging along as well. Ivar protested and reminded Katia how she'd said she'd been so exhausted after the morning training and that she shouldn't over do it, but she insisted that she go as well for the practice it would provide her with Ivy.
Defeated, Ivar had finally agreed and told Alex how sorry he was. Alex knew exactly what she was doing, but wasn't surprised. He suppressed a snarl and told Ivar not to worry about it. He knew he needed to find a way not to let Katia get under his skin because so far, he was failing miserably and it was making him a little crazy.
Once at the park, they all walked the trail to the small playground. Alex kind of trailed a few steps behind them, deep in thought. Sara noticed and slowed down enough until she was walking beside him. "He really does love you, you know."
"What? Oh, umm, huh?" Alex was startled.
"I know it's none of my business, but I just thought you should know how very clear and obvious it is that he is seriously in love with you."
"Wow! Umm, thank you. I think. That's really nice to hear."
"Well, it's also obvious that's the exact reason Katia is acting like she has been."
Stunned by what he was hearing, all Alex said was, "Wh-what do you mean?"
She gave Alex a look that said she knew he knew exactly what she'd meant. "Well, I mean, I think I'd like to hear someone else put it into words, because I nearly feel like I'm losing my mind."
Understanding his concern, she answered, "Well, she obviously wants what you have. She can see how much he loves you, too, and it's making her jealous. This is horrible for me ro say, but I think she's going to try to use her illness to her advantage and try to work on Mr. Lothbrok's pity for her and his immense love for Ivy. She knows that man will do absolutely anything for Ivy. It's just not right, Alex, for her to take advantage of his kind heart. I think you saw it, too, right?"
Alex realized he'd stopped walking. He was so shocked at everything Sara had to say. At least he knew he wasn't imagining things. "Umm, well. Uh, I don't know if I should say anything to him. I don't know if he sees it or not. Honestly, maybe she's right. Maybe she would be better for him. I mean, they'd be a happy, little family if I wasn't here in the middle of it all, in their way."
"Uh, I don't think you should give up quite that easily. The way he looks at you, man, are you serious? You know what I'd give to find me a man who looks at me like that?"
Alex dropped his head as he blushed. "Umm, we should catch up to them," he said, beginning to walk again. "Thanks for the conversation and umm, the observations."
They finally had Ivar in sight again, not too far ahead of them. Sara told him she was going to walk on ahead so she could check on Katia. As he got closer, Alex saw that Ivar and Katia were holding Ivy's hand and she was standing between them. They were helping Ivy take small steps of her own. It melted his heart to see. He could hear them cheering for Ivy and her small giggles.
He suddenly felt out of place. It was a sweet moment that he would have loved to be part of, but he wasn't there with them, and he somehow felt like he shouldn't join them just yet. He'd let them have their moment. As a family. It hurt him to think of it that way, but he knew that's what they were. Maybe he really shouldn't get in the way. He stopped walking and just watched, trying to decide what to do. Was he preventing Ivy from having the family she deserved?
He looked on as Ivy suddenly pulled her hands away from them and took three steps forward, by herself, before plopping down on her behind. She looked up at them both, clapping and cheering for her and clapped her hands. He could barely hear her small voice from the short distance as she clapped, "Yay! Daddy! Yay!"
Ivar quickly bent down and scooped her up and into his arms, kissing her all over her cheeks and head. Alex could see the pride in Ivar's every move and rightly so. His heart was overjoyed as well. What a special moment! He couldn't wait to join them now and congratulate them.
Then, he couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw Katia cut her eyes his way for a quick moment. She then took a step closer to Ivar and wrapped her arms around him and Ivy. Alex felt his hair stand up on the back of his neck, but he'd ignore it. It was a happy moment and of course, she'd hug them. It made sense. That's what he'd even do.
Katia leaned over and kissed Ivy's cheek. Ivar was still covering her in small kisses, too. Looking straight at Alex this time, Katia leaned over again, but this time instead of kissing Ivy, she kissed Ivar on his cheek. Alex's heart stopped. He saw Ivar attempt to pull back from Katia, but she moved her hand to the nape of his neck in warp speed and before Ivar or Alex even knew what was happening, she yanked Ivar's head toward her and kissed him in the mouth.
Completely stunned, hands immediately covering his gaping mouth, Alex watched as it all played out right there in front of him. Ivar tried to pull back from her again, but she held him in place as she continued kissing him. Ivar struggled until it finally appeared that he was kissing her back. Honestly, Alex couldn't be sure, but that's how it looked. Katia opened her eyes and looked Alex straight in his eyes before closing her's again and grabbing a handful of Ivar's ass to go along with her never ending kiss.
Alex saw red. He wanted to dart the other way, he needed to leave before he said or did something he'd regret. He had to leave, to vanish, but his feet were planted. He couldn't make them cooperate.
So, glutton for punishment, he continued watching as his heart completely broke into. He felt his small, little world crumble down around him. How had he been so stupid? Of course, this was going to happen. They had a history. They'd been in love and even engaged. They were together for years. His month or so with Ivar was nothing compared to their years.
Ivar finally managed to escape Katia's death grip. He moved away from her with a stumble and he immediately turned to look behind him. That's when he saw Alex, standing there with what could only be described as devastation across his face. Ivar's heart instantly broke.
He looked around and saw Sara as she'd just walked up. "Here, can you please watch Ivy for me? Can you take her on to the playground? I'll be back."
"Of course, Mr. Lothbrok."
Ivar heard Ivy as he rushed in Alex's direction, "Daddy! Ale!" He had to ignore her for right now. He thought he heard Katia calling to him, saying only God knows what, but he continued toward Alex. The fury he felt toward her and the pain he felt for Alex was unbearable.
As if Alex's feet and legs had just now heard his desperate pleas to get him away from there, he turned and practically ran back to the car. Thankful he had the keys with him, he unlocked the doors and swiftly got in, slamming and locking the doors back behind him. His ears were ringing, his heart was pounding, what was left of it, his head was spinning, and he felt dizzy. He sat there, waiting for everything around him to stop spinning. Had Sara and Ivy not been with them, he would have started the car and left Ivar there, but he knew he couldn't leave them stranded.
Trying to process everything he'd just unwillingly witnessed, his senses finally, slowly came back. Ivar was outside the car, "Alex, please. Answer me. Alex?"
Alex calmly looked at him as a tear rolled down his cheek. There was no way he was talking about anything here in the park.
"Alex? Please. Open the door. Let me in so we can talk. Alex, don't shut me out. Hear me out, Love. Please."
Alex snapped his head back around to Ivar. Through the window, Alex simply replied with one word, "Don't."
"What? What do you mean? Please let me in. I love you."
"Don't. Don't call me that Anymore."
Ivar felt horrible. He understood Alex's reaction, but he just needed him to listen to him. It wasn't his fault. He couldn't lose Alex and definitely not over Katia. Katia meant nothing to him. Surely, Alex knew this. She was only the mother of his child, not the person he loved and wanted to be with, not the one he wanted to spend the rest the rest of his life with, not Alex.
Alex turned his head in the opposite direction of Ivar. He needed a few minutes to calm himself, still, even though Ivar continued trying to get his attention. "C'mon. Please talk to me."
Just as Alex thought he'd roll the window down and speak to Ivar, at least to ask if they could talk when they were back at his place, Sara, Katia, and Ivy appeared at the car. Ivy cried for him, "Daddy!"
Ivar turned to her and she was reaching for him. "Daddy! Peas." It always melted his heart when she called for him and especially with a new word, but he knew this wasn't the best moment. Either way, he took her from Sara.
"I'm sorry to interrupt you, Mr. Lothbrok. It's just that she was crying and could not be consoled at all. Nothing Katia tried worked with her. She settled a little with me, but she still cried for you. I knew you wouldn't want your baby girl crying so hard unnecessarily, so we decided to bring her back to you. My apologies, Sir."
"It's ok, Sara. Thank you. You're right, I wouldn't want that." He hugged Ivy and kissed her on the top of the head. He looked at Alex through the car window, and softly said, "I'm so sorry."
Defeated, Alex unlocked the car doors so they could all get in the car.
As Ivar drove, Alex stared out the window, not saying a word. He almost felt a little embarrassed for being so upset. He knew Ivar better than that. He knew this was all on Katia. However, he couldn't help how bad it had made him feel.
Interrupting Alex's thoughts, Katia said, "Oh, Alex, you sure are quiet. Everything ok?"
Alex whipped around in his seat and glared at her. Was she serious?
"Oh, umm, I just mean, you haven't said a word for the entire ride. You seem to be somewhere else. What's bugging you?"
Snarling, he answered, clinching his jaw shut and talking between gritted teeth, "You want to know what's wrong with me? Really? Are you fucking serious right now? Fine. I'll tell you exactly what's wrong with me!"
Ivar placed his hand on Alex's thigh, trying to calm him, "Alex?"
Swatting his hand away, Alex answered him, "Don't you fucking touch me."
Ivar's eyes widened and he didn't know how to respond. Alex didn't wait for him to either. He turned back to Katia, ready to tell her exactly what she needed to hear. "Ale," Ivy's sweet voice said. All the color drained from his face as he stared at her innocent, little smile. She stretched her hands out toward him. "Ale," she said again.
He froze. What was he doing? This was ridiculous. He heard Hvitserk's voice in the back of his head, "Please, Alex, tell me you're kidding. You can't possibly think that moving Katia in is a good idea." He suddenly felt embarrassed.
"What was that? Humm, Alex? What were you about to tell me? Humm?" Katia asked him in her mockingly sweet and teasing voice.
"That's enough, Katia! Enough! I can't take anymore of this! WE can't take anymore. Ya!" Ivar's stern voice commanded her.
"Take me home. Please, just take me home," Alex told Ivar, voice small, the first time he'd spoken to him since they left the park.
"Ok," Ivar said feeling completely broken, "Just let me get them home first," Ivar's voice cracked. The rest of the ride was completely silent.
As they pulled into Ivar's driveway and the car was parked, Sara told Ivar, "I'll help Katia, Mr. Lothbrok. You don't worry about it." Katia began to complain, but Sara stopped her, "You need to go ahead and get your bath before I leave for the evening. Now, let me walk with you to the door." Turning back to Ivar as they got out of the car, she asked, "You can get Ivy, right, Sir?"
"Yes, Sara. Thank you," he answered softly.
Ivy had fallen asleep which was kind of perfect to give them a moment that they so desperately needed. "Alex," Ivar began.
"Can you please just take me home now?"
"I will. If that's what you truly want, but will you please just let me talk to you first?"
"Fine," Alex answered dryly.
"Alex, I'm so sorry. I love you dearly. You have to know I'd never willingly do anything to hurt you. Aside from Ivy, you are my world."
A single tear rolled down Alex's cheek. "I, umm, I know. I mean. I think I know. It's just. You looked like you were enjoying yourself. How can I compete with that? You two have history. You have a past. You were going to marry her, Ivar."
"Oh, Alex," he placed his hands on Alex's cheeks and wiped the tear. "The two of us have a history and a past, too. Don't you know that? What she and I had is over, Alex. It doesn't matter what shit she tries to pull now, I don't love her. I don't want to be with her. I love you. I love you and only you."
Alex sighed, "But maybe you would love her if I wasn't in the way. That would be so good for Ivy to have her parents together. And you, umm, you didn't push her off of you, Ivar," more tears filled his eyes as he tried blinking them away.
"It had to bring back memories. I understand. I'm not mad, Ivar. Hurt? Yes, but not mad. I can let you go. I can do that for Ivy. She deserves for you to try with her mom. And I think that's why Katia even did all of that to begin with. I think she was trying to force you to see that it could be good with her. It could be so easy with her, Ivar," his voice cracked and he dropped his head from Ivar's hands, trying not to let the tears spill out from his eyes.
Ivar gulped. He wished the ground would open and just swallow him up."Wh-what are you trying to say, Alex? What are you telling me?" The last piece of his heart cracked.
Alex just looked at him, knowingly, with his sad eyes.
"No! Fuck, no! I will not lose you over her, Alex!" Ivar's heart threatened to completely stop beating. "I didn't push her off of me because I didn't want to knock her down! Hell, that's all we need. I had to gently pull away from her and trust me, you have no idea how fucking hard it was because I wanted to knock her on her fucking ass! How dare she put her hands or her mouth on me like that! I seriously feel violated! And honestly, Alex, how dare you acuse me of liking it!" Alex looked up at him. Was that maybe a glimmer of hope in his eyes?
"You say Ivy deserves for me to try with her mom? Well, did you forget? We did try! We tried a long time ago, and it didn't work. I don't want her, Alex! I want you! Don't you know that? Having a child with her has not changed how I feel about her or how I feel about you!"
He grabbed Alex's hands and rubbed the back of them as he continued, "People raise children together all the time who aren't in a relationship. She and I do not have to be together for this to work! If you leave me, if we end this, I'm still not ever going to be with her again! Please, Alex, don't give up on us. I plan on talking with her, too. Her shit show today will not be tolerated and she needs to be reminded of where we stand! I'm sorry this happened. I truly am. I should have said something to her this morning, but please don't doubt us. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me besides Ivy. I can't lose you. I just can't."
Alex looked up to him again, tear stained face shining from the outside flood lights. "Oh, Alex. Don't cry, Love." He rested his forehead against Alex's, his hands coming back to Alex's cheeks. "Just let me love you." He raised his head from Alex's and gently kissed him, lips tenderly exchanging unspoken words and promises.
"MR. LOTHBROK! OH MY GOD! IVAR!"
Alex and Ivar instantly stiffened, pulled apart, and snapped their heads to the front, door to see Sara standing there, clearly frightened. They both jumped out of the car, "What? What is it? Wha.. what ppenedhat ?" Ivar asked in one breath, as he darted to her.
"Katia. She slipped in the tub as she was getting out. I don't know if she hit her head or not, but I can't get her to respond and I can't get her out of the tub by myself to check her properly." He looked at Sara, her clothes soaking wet, and then back to Alex.
"Go! I'll get Ivy. Just go!" Alex reassured him and Ivar and Sara disappeared into the house.
Ivy was surprisingly still sleeping as Alex finally got her into the house. He laid her down in her playpen in the living room floor and went to the bathroom to see if everything was ok.
There, he saw Ivar down on his knees at the side of the bathtub, checking on Katia. "She's breathing! Oh thank fuck, she's breathing!" He said her name several times, trying to get her to respond, but she didn't move. He got to his feet and then bent down to her.
Alex tried not worry as he saw Katia laying there naked in the tub. He knew there was no reason to be paranoid, but how long had it been since Ivar had seen her naked? Would it make him change his mind about her? What if seeing her made him miss being with a woman? What the hell was wrong with him? This was obviously more important than his irrational fears! There was nothing about the situation that was sexual at all. Yet, he, somehow, still worried.
Pushing it all to the back of his mind to worry over later, he watched Ivar. "Hand me a towel," Ivar directed, to whom, he didn't care. He just knew he wanted to cover her. "Katia, hey! Katia. Can you hear me? Listen to my voice, sweetie. Listen to me. Ivy needs you. You can't do this to her." He quickly scooped her up and into his arms. He kissed her on her temple and continued talking to her.
"Where's that damn towel?" Sara quickly fumbled through the cabinet to find one and Ivar sat in the floor with Katia still in his arms. As her naked body laid limply in his arms, he brushed her hair away from her face. "Don't do this. You can't do this to Ivy. Katia, please. You can't do this to me."
Alex's heart stopped. He wasn't sure how he was even still breathing. Had he heard Ivar right? What, exactly, did that mean?
Sara shoved a towel to him and he quickly covered her wet, naked body. "Ok, Mr. Lothbrok, lay her down for me so I can check her out."
As he began to move her to his side to lay her down, she opened her eyes and instantly wrapped her arms around him. She leaned up against him, the towel falling to her waist, as she hugged him tightly. She was now making eye contact with Alex and he was the only one who could see her face. She grinned at him as she turned her head to Ivar and kissed his cheek. "Oh, Ivar! Thank you! That was so scary! It was like I was in a dream or something. I could hear your voice, but I couldn't answer you." She began to cry. Alex couldn't tell if it was real or not. He wasn't sure what to make of it. Sara looked up to him and just shrugged her shoulders.
Ivar placed his hand over the back of Katia's head and held her tightly with his other arm. "Shh, Shh. It's ok. I've got you. Calm down, now. It's ok. I'm here." He kissed her on the top of her head. "Just let Sara check you, ok?"
Alex just couldn't. He couldn't stand there any longer and watch and listen to everything. His body, almost involuntarily, began to move backwards out of the bathroom door. Before he knew it, he was outside, in the dark, on the front lawn. He nearly collapsed onto his knees, head in his hands. His rational mind knew Ivar had done nothing wrong, but his heart ached to it's very core. Those few choice of words that Ivar had spoken just ripped him up inside. He was flooded with so many emotions and such pain all at once that he could hardly bare it.
Sara examined Katia and found no cuts or bruises from her fall. Sara said how they should go to the doctor the next day just to have her checked thoroughly and be sure there wasn't anything underlying going on.
Katia explained that she had actually slipped on soap that was in the tub and that it wasn't anything to do with her sickness. Instinctively, Sara leaned up and looked over into the tub to see if Katia was telling the truth. To her surprise, there was a thick puddle of soap still lingering in the bottom of the bathtub. She looked back at Katia, stunned.
"Alright, let's get you to bed, then, ok?" Ivar told her. "No cooking for you tonight," he laughed.
Sara jumped to her feet and grabbed Katia's bathrobe and gave it to her.
Katia looked up at Ivar again. She placed her hand on his cheek. "Ivar, umm, I-I'm.."
"Shh," he responded, taking the robe into his hands.
"I need to say this, Ivar. I'm uh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything I did to you. I ruined the beautiful thing we had and I can never forgive myself." She dropped her head in shame.
"Shh, Katia, it's ok. That was another lifetime. I forgave you long ago. I couldn't function in my daily life now if I was still holding all of that against you. Forget about it." He went to place the robe around her.
"But, umm, I uh, I still umm," she studdered. Taking a deep breath, she finally blurted out, "I still love you, Ivar. I never stopped." She leaned forward to kiss him, but he moved away from her just in time and dodged her lips.
"No, Katia. No," he softly said to her. "I'm sorry, but that can't happen. I love Alex, now. I'm in love with him, Katia. I'm so sorry, but you have to finally accept that. You and I, the only thing between us is that we're both Ivy's parents. I'm sorry, but that's all I can offer you."
Ivar placed the robe over Katia's shoulders as she slipped her arms through it. He then closed it, covering her exposed breasts. "Thank you, Ivar," she said softly. "And umm, I, I can see that you truly love Alex. It's obvious in your every move," she cleared her throat. "It's just. Well. I can remember when that was me," she frowned.
Suddenly realizing he'd never heard Alex come in, he stiffened. "I-I'm sorry. Sara, you think you can take it from here? I umm, I need to check on Alex."
He stood and then helped Katia stand. Once Sara was at her side, he darted out the bathroom door. "Alex? Hey, Love, where did you go?" There was no answer. He checked his room and there was no sign that Alex had came back up at all. "Alex?" He checked all the rooms and then finally went back outside. There was no sign of Alex anywhere.
He reached into his pocket to call Alex, but the call went straight to voice-mail. He sat down and dropped his head into his hands. He looked around the room one last time, but with a feeling of complete defeat. Had he lost his one and only love, his soul mate?
"What are you doing, Kara!" he shouted, his eyes staring at the top of the wall and she looked down at him. She cradled her belly, her long hair blew around her with the high wind gusts and she looked up, staring into the distance.
"I told you!" she shouted at last, her voice nearly carried away by the wind. "I will not live in a world without you, Ivar Ragnarsson!' she finished and the air left his lungs as she leaned forward, tumbling forward. It was a beautiful descent but tragic as she fell with a heavy thud, smashed upon the frozen ground. Ivar screamed at the top of his lungs, as though it would bring her back and quickly he sat up, his chest heaving.
He looked around and saw he was still in the comfort of his bed, it had been a dream.
"Do you believe me now?" Kara asked and his head snapped to his left, she sat on his bed watching him.
"What!" he exclaimed, furrowing his brow in both anger and confusion. She leaned forward and stroked his cheek.
"I said, do you believe me now?" she demanded and he shook his head, gazing at the bed for a minute.
"How did you know what I dreamed?" he asked and she smiled, a shrug of her shoulders.
"What else would scare the great Ivar Ragnarsson but my death?" she queried, standing and moving to a table. She poured a glass of water from the jug into his cup and passed it to him, he took it. He chugged gratefully and thrust it back in her hand.
"You sent me the dream," he growled and she laughed quietly.
"Oh Ivar, if I had the powers of the Gods I would do much more than that," she assured and he shook his head again as though trying to rid his mind of the dream.
"What do you want me to do, Kara?" he demanded. "I cannot leave you now that I have found you but you will not come with me," he said.
"I will come with you," she said and he stared at her. "After I give birth to this child," she finished, cupping her belly.
"And what of the child?" he asked.
"They will stay with their father," she dismissed.
"Why this child? You have not left a child behind before," he reminded.
"No but no other child has brought me this much misfortune," she mused, filling the cup for herself.
"So you will punish the child?" he asked and she glanced over at him, well aware of the sensitive topic.
"Punish? He will be raised in a life of opulence and luxury, I fail to see how this is punishing," she countered and Ivar fell quiet, it was true. Though he loathed the chief, the chief was wealthy and powerful.
"The chief will not let you go," he said and she shrugged.
"I do not need a man to let me go, I go where I please and if they try to stop me, I will stop them," she said and Ivar's eyebrows raised. "As much as he knows your weakness because of me, I know his weakness as well and I will use every one of them against him," she vowed.
"Then I will leave and trust that you will follow?" he asked and she smiled.
"I was willing to kill myself to save you, why would I not do something as simple as follow you?" she asked and Ivar smiled slightly, it was true. "So go, Ivar, go before I must fulfill my promise," she urged and leaned over, kissing his lips. He kissed her back and for a moment they remained until she backed away and she stroked his face.
"I will go but if you do not come, I will return," he warned. "And I will bring my army,"
"I do not doubt you," she promised and he pulled her dress, guiding her back to his lips for another kiss.
----
Ivar had readied his horse and chariot, strapped himself in. He moved through the dirt roads and glanced up at the wall. The same wall that had been in his dreams the night before and she stood atop it again, a smile on her face. He gazed at her before he passed beneath it and then looked over his shoulder to be sure she had not jumped. It was her subtle way of reminding him her promise and that should he negate on it, she would do as she had warned.
She stood still, looking beautiful and like a goddess. He sighed and turned, looking back to the road. He left her now with a gift he had given no one else, his trust.
The distance the volva had put between Ivar and Kara irritated him, it took far too long to reach them. Days of riding brought him to the looming gates that he had once found refuge and she stood atop them, gazing down at him. Her belly had grown, she was with child as the chief had promised and Ivar felt his stomach turn, his heart fall.
"It is nothing," the Volva whispered as she leaned towards him and Ivar nodded, his eyes returning to the gates opened.
"Ivar Ragnarsson!" the chief called out as he exited with his men and Ivar stopped his chariot. "You've found your way back again," he said and it was obvious he was unhappy with his arrival. Ivar glanced back up at Kara, she was beautiful in pregnancy and she cradled her stomach as she stared back at him.
"I've returned for her," he said and the chief glanced over his shoulder then back to Ivar.
"Why?" he asked.
"She is mine," he stated and the chief smiled.
"The child in her belly states otherwise," he said and Ivar nodded.
"For now," he said. "But she will give birth and as she has with all the other children, leave their father," he said and saw instantly the Chief had thought of this. "Where is her other children?" Ivar asked.
"Why does it matter to you?" the chief challenged and Ivar shrugged.
"One of them is son of my kin," he explained and the chief's eyebrows raised. "Did you not know that she has shared the bed of a Ragnarsson?" he asked.
"It does not matter," the chief dismissed and Ivar nodded.
"It should send chills down your spine, to know you have kidnapped the mother of a Ragnarsson's child," he snarled.
"And what has come of it? Who has come to defend her? A crippled prince," the chief hissed and Ivar smiled, too many times before had he been called a cripple to take offense.
"I am only the beginning," he assured. "The Heathen Army will come for you next," he promised. "The father of her eldest," he said and the chief looked back at Kara again. "Does he worry you?" Ivar asked, leaning against his chariot. "Does he seem to grow a little too tall and a little too strong for your comfort?" Ivar questioned.
"I do not know what you mean," the chief muttered and Ivar grinned.
"He is the grandson of Ragnar Lothbrok, you should fear him," he assured and stood. "I have come to reclaim what belongs to me and I will not leave until she is mine again," he said and snapped the reigns, turning his chariot away from the wall.
---
"Ivar," the Volva whispered and Ivar glanced over. He had been settled in the tent he was sharing with her and had only just drifted into rest. He looked to the tent entrance, Kara stood before them and he quickly pulled himself into a seated position.
"Ivar Ragnarsson," she spoke, the familiarity rang in her tone. "You return again," she commented and he glanced at her belly.
"You are with child again," He said and she smiled, rubbing it.
"I am," she agreed. "And I have heard you used my son against the chief," she said and Ivar shrugged.
"It was a card to play," he muttered and she laughed quietly.
"Fionnuala," she greeted with a short nod but the Volva didn't return it. "Why do you come, Ivar?" she asked, her eyes returning to Ivar and he stared at her for a moment.
"If you do not know by now then you are daft," he said and she smiled, both knew that was not true.
"I am carrying the child of another man and still you want me?" she asked and he shrugged.
"As I have with all the other children you carried," he agreed and she nodded.
"This is true," she agreed and sighed. "He has full intent to kill you," she said.
"But you will misguide him," Ivar countered and she smiled.
"He is not stupid, Ivar," she promised. "He will not make the same mistake twice,"
"He does not trust you but he has married you?" he asked and she shrugged.
"A man will do many stupid things for the desires of his cock," she murmured and Ivar could not argue there, he had chased her across the realms. "I wish you to go," she said and he gazed at her.
"I will not," he disagreed and she stared at him, there was a sadness in her eyes.
"I want you to go, please, Ivar," she begged and glanced at the Volva, it was clear she wished they were alone.
"And why would you want this?" Ivar commanded.
"I do not wish to lose you," she said.
"If I go, you will lose me," he argued.
"But you will still live," she reminded and he fell quiet.
"You do not believe I can win," he said.
"It is not that I do not believe, it is that I fear for what may come," she said. "We cannot guarantee our life nor our death and I am not willing to be the reason for your death," she said and Ivar nodded.
"I will fight to my last breath for you," he said.
"And this is what I fear," she stated softly. "Speak sense to him, Fionnuala," she pleaded as she looked over at her one time friend.
"I have and this is why we are here," she said and Kara sighed, frustrated.
"If you will not go, I will..."she trailed. "I will kill myself," she said and Ivar's expression quickly changed.
"You will not," he demanded and she sat beside him.
"I will," she promised. "I will kill myself and this child," she swore.
"I will burn the world to the earth if you do so," he vowed.
"I will not care, I will be dead," she said and he shook his head. He reached out, he stroked her face gently and then leaned in, kissing her lips.
"You will not kill yourself," he commanded once more.
"You do not tell me what to do and if you will not listen to me, I will," she promised.
"Why?" he asked.
"I will not live in a world without you, Ivar Ragnarsson," she said and Ivar stared at her, taken back by her admission.
"You do not care if I live or die," he argued and she laughed softly. "Why would you kill yourself to spare yourself a life without me?" he asked. She pulled herself up, standing and gazed down at him.
"If you do not know by now then you are daft, Ivar Ragnarsson," she said, echoing his words before leaving his tent and he stared after her, silenced by her promise.
Time had passed slowly at first but as the days went on, it began to snow ball. Ivar never forgot her but more present matters came to hand. He began his conquer of the known world and beyond.
He sat in the Great Hall of a newly conquered village, drinking deep from his cup and inhaling the food placed before him.
"Ivar Ragnarsson, the fabled beast of the East," a voice came and he turned quickly, peering over his shoulder.
She stood with a smile upon her face and Ivar took in her look, she was different than last he saw her. Her hair longer, her white dress encased her slim figure and tattoos ran across her arms.
"Kara?" he breathed and she laughed quietly, taking the seat beside him.
"Hello," she greeted and he stared at her, stunned. "Have you missed me?" she questioned and he rolled his eyes, looking back at his plate. Her fingers entangled into his longer hair, playing with it and he looked at her again. "Your hair is longer," she murmured.
"I could say the same," he replied and she smiled, her hand dropping.
"It is," she agreed. "You have been victorious in every battle, I have heard," she stated.
"Are you keeping track of me?" he asked and she smiled, shrugging gently.
"The tales have reached every land I entered, how can I not?" she asked and Ivar laughed. They fell quiet, silently enjoying each other's presence and the fact that it felt as though nothing changed.
"What happened to..." he trailed and swallowed hard, trying to form the words.
"Ubbe's child?" she asked and Ivar nodded, her eyes glanced around the hall. She pointed and Ivar looked. A boy, only five, held a pitcher in his hands and trailed behind a thrall.
"You've made him a thrall?" he asked and she laughed.
"No," she dismissed. "That is the woman I have left him with, she is not a thrall," she said and Ivar gazed at the red haired woman, it was clear now Kara was right.
"Does he know you are his mother?" he asked and she nodded.
"Yes, I have told him she is his aunt and she cares for him while I am gone," she explained and Ivar gazed at him. "Is Ubbe with you?" she queried, her eyes roaming the hall.
"He is but he is not here, he has rode ahead," he said and she nodded.
"I have missed you, Ivar," she mused and Ivar studied her.
"Have you?" he asked.
"Have you not missed me, you crippled fool?" she asked and he grimaced.
"I have not missed your cutting tongue," he replied and she grinned. "But yes, I have missed you," he said quietly and she smiled. "Will you return to Kattegat with me?" he asked and she studied him for a moment.
"I do not think I am ready to return yet," she replied and Ivar rolled his eyes.
"When?" he asked and she shrugged. "When will this be enough, when will I have conquered enough for you to marry me?" he demanded and she looked at him sharply.
"Ivar, still?" she asked and he nodded. "I do not know if I am meant to be married, Ivar," she murmured. "When I think of my life as a wife, it depresses me," she sighed.
"Because I am a crippled man?" he asked and she laughed.
"No, Ivar," she dismissed. "It is nothing to do with you," she assured.
"Then I will continue to wait," he said.
"You cannot wait forever, Ivar," she bemoaned.
"But I will," he promised and she looked at him, her lips pursed.
"You are a great conqueror," she began. "There will be a need for a wife and heirs," she encouraged and he laughed.
"I do not need them," he said. "There is no wife for Ivar but you," he promised and she smiled.
"Ivar, you have always been foolish," she muttered and he stared at her.
"Only a fool for you," he murmured, his eyes staring into his empty cup and she smiled sadly to herself then stood, squeezing his shoulder for a moment before departing. Ivar looked over to the blonde boy that trailed behind the red haired woman and shook his head.
Synopsis - Julietta wakes up with no memory of her life or her husband, Ivar. Will it ever return? Does she want it to?
Word Count - 3113
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Masterlist
Chapter 14 - Final Chapter
He is in a meeting when his phone vibrates in his pocket. Well, it’s not really a meeting, more of an information gathering session in a warehouse involving sharp instruments and spilled blood. He’s been taking on more and more of these ‘meetings’ since she disappeared, a good way to expel some of his rage and sadness productively.
He walks away from the man he is dealing with, wipes his hands on a cloth and gets his phone out to an interesting message on his screen.
One of her passports was used to get into the country three hours ago.
A smile quirks onto his lips very briefly followed by a deep inhalation of breath.
“You, take over from here. Just kill him. I’ve got the information I need now.”
He hears a gunshot behind him as he heads out to his armoured SUV to take him back to the estate.
When he arrives back he doesn’t go to the main house but straight to their house. He knows Ragnar would have got the same message and he needs to check something out first before he sees his father. He hurries to their shared closet, still full of her clothes and he pulls out the black shoes with the red soles, her stash spot, pulling out an untraceable phone. He turns it on and waits. The phone beeps twice. Two messages. Both from anonymous numbers, both from her.
Coming home. Too dangerous now.
See me before they get to me? I will come alone. I miss you so much.
He texts back quickly.
Yes. Will message soon. I love you. Thank you for all the photos last week, baby.
As he stashes the phone back he lets his finger run over the notebook that took him less than three days to decipher. One of the reasons he searched so hard for her and established secret communication. He cried for days when he broke the code and read her words. An anthology of love, dating from the night they met, describing every feeling she ever had for him, her deep love, the light he had reignited inside her after years of living in the black. Much as he had before he met her. The reasons why she acted as she did after Sardinia, the threats made against his life, the coldness she showed him when underneath she felt nothing but adoration. She explained it all in a diary she never intended for anyone to read. Her soul lives in these pages, and so does his.
Always and forever, no matter how far apart.
———————
He heads to the main house and into his fathers study.
”I am sure you’ve seen the message. She has returned.” Ragnar says without looking up from his papers.
Ivar nods. “I’ll take care of it. She will contact me soon, I’m sure of it.”
Ragnar looks up and stares into his son's eyes, carbon copies of his own. “Will you be able to finish the job this time? She cannot live, Ivar. She simply must die. If you feel like you can’t do it, or she will get the drop on you again I’ll send a whole team to hunt her down.”
“I’ll do it father. She is my responsibility. I will not fuck it up again. I’ll let you know when she contacts me and what the plan is from there.”
Ragnar nods in agreement and rounds his desk to embrace his son. “I am sorry for this, sorry it has to be done. You understand though?”
“I do. It’s been a long time coming,” Ivar says tersely, “I’ll speak to you soon.”
———————
He leaves the estate in his own vehicle, he drives for an hour and no one is following him. He pulls into a multi-storey car park and switches cars and drives for an hour to another car park and does the same.
It’s dark by the time he reaches the hotel. A shitty, off the track hotel he’d never be seen dead in usually. He walks as quickly as he can to a door and knocks three times.
The door opens a fraction and he pushes it the rest of the way, slowly revealing his wife to him. She has her gun pointed at him.
“Alone?”
“Alone, baby.” He steps in and shuts the door behind him before they walk quickly towards each other, arms pulling the other into a tight embrace, clinging to the other, tears falling.
“I missed you so much, Liet.”
“Fuck I missed you so much too.”
They pull at each other’s clothing, frantic to get the other naked as quickly as possible. When their goal is managed they fall onto the crappy, lumpy hotel bed together on their sides, her leg over his waist before he pushes her onto her back and he crawls over her, their mouths attached the whole time. She grabs his hard cock and lines him up a half a second before he pushes deep into her.
Their mirrored groans into each other’s mouths make them giggle.
“Fuck, love, you feel so good,” he says into her mouth before moving her inside of her, drawing deep, low moans from her. “I missed you every second of every day.”
“Me too, Ivar. Harder, please, harder!”
Their fingers dig into each other's skin, pulling into the other, trying to close the millimetres left between their bodies, a desperate need to feel every part of the other, a desperate need to fill the two year gap since they last were with each other physically.
It takes no time for their knowledge of each other’s bodies to kick in and they make each other orgasm. Shuddering against each other, the air blue with obscenities.
When they finally loosen their grip on the other they stay as close as possible, noses touching, laying on their sides, hands running up each other’s backs.
“Hi, baby,” he laughs out.
“Hi, love,” she giggles in reply.
They just stare at each other, who knows for how long. Long enough for him to run his hand through her longer hair. To run his fingers over some new scarring on her body. Long enough for her to touch his thigh where she inflicted a break. Long enough to revel in his eyes and compare them to his.
“Anyone since us, Ivar? Are you happy?”
“No one. No one ever again. Always and forever, baby. You?”
“Never for me, Ivar. You and only you. I need you to be happy again though. After all this.”
Ivar waves his hand as if dismissing her words. There is no point in lying to her, pretending he will ever let anyone in again so he just changes the subject.
“I did what you asked, love, I killed Lev.”
Her eyes fill with tears and she lets out a giggle of relief. “Thank you, Ivar. How?”
“I peeled his skin off slowly and I made him watch videos of us when we were happy, after the accident. He begged for your forgiveness and his life in the end, love.”
A nasty sneer flashes across her face. “Good, he deserves every second of pain you inflicted on him.”
A comfortable silence settles between them again before Ivar breaks it. “Where is he, Liet?”
“He’s safe I promise. I will need to get back to him in the early morning. That’s why I’m back, it’s too dangerous now. I’ve had too many close calls and I’m frightened for him. He needs stability, Ivar. I’m done running. I’m here to face what I need to, and to give you your son. You need to keep him safe from now on. I can’t offer him that any longer.”
Ivar knew this is why she had come back. Knew his men had almost caught her in Belize. Had heard rumours of her father almost tracking her down in Peru. Ivar almost gave himself away numerous times trying to throw them off her and their sons scent, Ragnar was suspicious at one point and that was when the Belize incident happened. He had warned her but a little too late. He begged her to bring his son back to him but she wasn’t ready.
She is ready now.
Ivar clears his throat, trying to dislodge the ball in it. “I am going to talk to my father. Things are different now, with the baby. I… I’ll talk sense into him. We can be toget…” the rest of his sentence is cut off by her lips crashing his. When she pulls away she gives him a little smile.
“Ivar. We’ve talked about this. Your father will not allow me to live, for his reputation and his own peace of mind. I knew coming back here it would be the end for me, I’m under no illusion I will not die tomorrow. I thought you had come to terms with it, baby?” She runs her hand over his furrowed brow and her thumb wipes a tear away. “Even if Ragnar allowed it, which he absolutely will not, I wouldn’t allow it. If my father knew I was back, knew about our son, he would never stop coming for me, for him. He wouldn't stop until we were all cold in the ground, everyone, your mother, father and brothers. There would be no peace until he had our son in his care. I can not allow that. I’m here so our baby can have a life without being hunted for the mistakes I made.” She is aware her voice isn’t as soft as she would like it to be, but she also knows that Ivar responds to this cold, detached hard truth. “I have loved you enough for a whole lifetime, this is how it has to be, love. You know this.”
He doesn’t reply, he nods stiffly and a silence settles between them.
“Liet. He will always know about you, I’ll never let him forget how much you love him, how much we love each other. No one will poison his mind against you.”
His heart breaks entirely to pieces as she crumbles down in front of him. She knows this is her last night on this Earth. Her actual last night this time. She is giving herself up for the sake of their baby. Their 14 month old baby who has his fathers eyes nestled in the features of his mother.
The greatest sacrifice a mother can make.
“Ivar, try to raise him out of this life. I know that won’t be easy, but send him to college, make him useful away from the violence. Make sure my father doesn’t get to him. Make sure Ragnar doesn’t ruin him. I’m trusting you with our baby, Ivar. You need to do for him what my past had robbed from me, a chance at a happy future. Be soft with him, like you are with me. Be loving and supportive no matter who he turns out to be or the choices he makes. Show him my Ivar, not the Ivar everyone else sees. Promise me?”
“I promise. I will be the best father,” Ivar says resolutely.
She gives him a genuine smile. “I have absolutely no doubt that you will.”
“Tell me more about him, baby.”
They spend the next few hours talking about him, his likes, his dislikes, how he sleeps curled up next to her every night with his favourite Elephant cuddly. She explains how rough the next few months will be for Ivar, he is his daddy but FaceTime can’t replicate a real connection. She explains how to best comfort him, what songs to sing him and how to make him laugh, what she wants for him in the future. She tells Ivar she has written letters for when he is older so he can understand what happened, but that it will be up to Ivar to judge when and if he feels their son can handle the information. Ivar says nothing, he just soaks up every word.
“I think that’s it.” She glances at her watch.”I will send you a text at 11am to tell me to meet me at 4pm. Your father will intercept it, we both know he will send someone. Just…. Just cover his eyes before, promise me you won’t both watch me die.”
“I promise. I promise you. We have 8 hours until I need to be home to get the message.”
“8 hours.”
“Those hours are for us and us only.” He reaches for his phone, and taps until the room is filled with music.
Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac.
He stands up and holds his hand out to her. “Come dance with me one last time, baby.”
Her eyes mist over again as she goes to him, clinging to him tightly. She closes her eyes, compartmentalises the coming day and enjoys every second they have remaining.
————————-
9am rolls around and it’s time for him to go.
They cling to each other before she loosens her grip and grabs his face, pulling it closer to hers.
“In the next life, Ivar. I will find you in the next and every life we have after. Look after our baby.”
He holds her face, forehead touching hers. “This life and the next. I love you. I will keep him safe. I promise on everything I am, my beautiful Liet. The bravest person I’ve ever met, my fighter, my Valkyrie.”
They share a kiss, a kiss so full of love, pain, admiration and promise that they both smile and cry as they pull away and he leaves.
—————————
His phone beeps dead on 11am.
Meet me at warehouse 2c at 4pm. Just you. I have something for you.
He enters the main house to his father waiting in his study.
“You saw the message?” he asks his Father.
“I did. I wonder what she has for you?”
“A bullet in my brain I would imagine?”
Ragnar regards him, hard eyes travelling over his face. “Take your gun. You shoot her on sight. There is nothing she has that we need, nothing she can give you worth anything. Kill her and we can all move on.”
Ivar nods quickly. “That is my plan.” He turns to walk out of his fathers office.
Ragnar waits until the heavy slam of the front door hits his ears before picking up his phone. “4pm. The docks. Set up a sniper. Kill her if he hesitates.”
——————-
Ivar pulls up to the warehouse and sits for a second. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply, trying to stop the flow of tears that have been cascading down his face the whole 45 minute ride over. His heart is ripping to shreds inside his chest, despite having years to come to terms with it, a tiny sliver of bright hope lit his black soul thinking they could be a family one day. His rational brain knew it would never happen, she told him weekly it would never be the case, but the fact that the end is now is too much for him to bear.
But bear it he must. Not for her, or himself, but for their beautiful son.
He walks into the warehouse and his trained eyes see the minuscule glint from the sniper rifle up high in the corner. He will be sure to tell his father about the snipers fuck up.
His eyes find her, standing in the centre of the massive room, her back to him. His heart stops. She hasn’t brought the baby, he can’t see his son. When he is close enough he gets his gun out and points it at her.
“Liet?”
She turns slowly, their baby asleep in her arms, she doesn’t look at Ivar, she doesn’t take her eyes off their baby, soaking in every last second she has with him. He lowers his weapon as soon as he sees his son.
“The sniper is shit, love. I spotted him the second I walked in,” she chuckles lightly, “tell Ragnar I said he needs better men.
————
The sniper can’t hear what they are saying, and neither can Ragnar watching from his office from a camera feed attached to the rifle.
“Sir, she has a baby in her arms.”
“I can see that.”
“Shall I take the shot?”
“No. Do not dare. I’m pretty sure I am looking at my grandchild.” Ragnars eyes are full of tears. It’s been years since anything elicited such emotion from him. He understands now why Ivar has tried to keep her safe these past two years, not just out of love for her, but a fathers love for his child.
Ragnar wipes his eyes and rolls his shoulder. “Be ready. This is an exchange. When it’s done I will give the word.”
—————
Julietta gives Ivar a look of pure love. “Ready, baby? When I hand him to you I need you to turn away and walk out. Don’t watch me die, love. Okay?”
Ivar’s nods twice. They step towards each other, he drops his gun on the floor so he can embrace her one last time. With their foreheads touching, and tears on their faces she hands the baby to Ivar, bends down, sniffs the baby's head and kisses him before turning her attention back to his father, placing a slow kiss on his lips.
“In the next life, love,” she says
“Always and forever,” he replies.
She takes two steps back and Ivar swivels on his heels, clinging to his son, lurching away on his crutch.
———-
“Sir, shall I take the shot now?”
Ragnar is silent. His heart is breaking for his son but he knows what must be done. Even if he saw fit to let her live Ragnar knows her own father would never stop coming for her and if he were ever to catch up with her he would torture her to death. Ragnar rolls his shoulders and clenches his teeth.
———-
Ivar hears the pop and the whizz of the bullet from the sniper fly past him. He hears the grunt from her chest on impact and he hears as she falls to the floor with a thud.
The tears in his eyes blind him, he squeezes his eyes shut to clear them. He wants to scream up into the universe, make the whole world hear his pain. But he looks into the face of his sleeping son in his arms and knows he won’t, he won’t scare him. So he holds it in, to be let out at a later time when his son is not with him.
This was so intense. 💣🔥The sadest thing you've written so far. I ❤️ every word. Such an unexpected end. Brilliant work. Thank you so much for sharing this masterpiece with us. 🥰
Note - I think it’s been almost a year since I updated this fic. I’ve decided to post the rest of the fic, despite not being super happy with chapter 11. I wrote the rest of the chapters ages ago but got stuck on chapter 11 so I’ve decided to just Chuck it out here.
Sorry it’s taken me so long, hope those who enjoyed this story before will enjoy the end ❤️ thanks all. This chapter is un-beta’d so all mistakes are mine and I’m sure there will be lots!
Warnings - mentions of violence make against female and female against make, language, weapons, angst
Synopsis - Julietta wakes up with no memory of her life or her husband, Ivar. Will it ever return? Does she want it to?
Word Count - 3828 words
This is for @blackseapearl 400 follower trope challenge. I asked for Amnesia :)
Shout Outs - They know ❤️
This fic kicked (and is still kicking!) my ass, I’ve never had such a hard time with motivation as I have writing this long-ass bitch so I hope you enjoy it :)
It’s also LOOOOOOOONNNGGGGGGGG..... and I’m only the tiniest bit sorry about that!
Tag List - Let me know if you want on or off :)@smears-and-spots @punkrocknpearls @youbloodymadgenius @momowhoo @zuxiezendler @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @ivar-s-my-brat-tamer @pieces-by-me @heavenly1927 @berryonasummerevening @synnersaint @out-of-the-box-and-into-alchemy @petite-hime @serasvictoria @mimiiinspace @itsmysticalmystery @lonewolf471 @mylifeisactuallyamess @draculasbride-blog @love-all-things-writing @southernbe @redhead7799 @kaybee87 @ivarlover @ivarhoegh @idgafiamallthefandoms @darkphoenix5037 @profoundtyrantharmony @snarling-through-our-smiles @crazyunsexycool @xceafh @noway4u @batmandallyboy @complicatedbutrare @readsalot73 @meandmycherrytree
Masterpost
Chapter 11
The early days of Ivar and Liet.
Lev insists on an apartment first, keeping some distance and to set up a place he can still see her in. She assumed Ivar would be annoyed but he says it’s a good first step, she doesn’t know for certain but she guesses that The Lothbroks don’t want a stranger in their midst, she will have to be vetted before being allowed into their inner sanctum.
She stays in the apartment for a few months, building a life, in her “new city”, a routine with Ivar visiting. Lev turns up more often than she wants, an invasive reminder that it's all lies and any potential peace found with Ivar is bullshit.
Lev never gets ugly with her again, but her memory is long and she never forgets the violence he exhibited, quashing all feelings she ever had for him.
She was supposed to lead a double life, reporting to her family, faking the relationship with Ivar, in reality, it’s a triple life now, faking to Lev, faking to Ivar despite her feelings of real love for him and reporting back despite her feelings. God, what an absolute mess she’s made. Etta has no choice but to carry on as normal with Lev when she sees him, fucking him as if he’s her guy when her whole being is consumed by her feelings for Ivar.
The ripping of her soul, the lies, the deceit, the acting, almost sends her into an early grave, until Ivar asks her to move onto the estate.
———————-
Word comes from Ivar’s Father. The Lothbrok family have accepted her. Ragnar has dug into her past thoroughly.
———————
Her Father knew this would happen and hired the right people to fabricate her former life, leaving as much of her true life as possible. Dead parents, teacher (at a different school, one where Olegs family had reach with, who he was able to pay off if asked about Julietta). The Lothbroks came back with nothing but a squeaky clean record of her. Nothing about her time spent with her father, nothing about her training or the other ‘missions’ she’d been sent on. Just a wholesome school teacher with friends and a tragic past.
—————
She can see a respite, a pause of her turmoil if she is away from Lev, away from the pressure he is putting on her, the pressure her father is putting on her through Lev. She can breathe easily once she gets there. For a minute.
She knows any peace is temporary.
The day before she is due to move, Lev catches her outside her apartment as she is running errands.
She feels him behind her, an insistent grip on her arm.
“Keep walking, Love. Who knows if we are being followed. Walk to the market.”
Julietta has no choice but to do as he says.
In the market he catches her arm harshly and turns her toward a stand.
“Try on the sunglasses,” he instructs her harshly, so she does. She catches his eye in a mirror, he is standing close to her. “Tomorrow we will be separated, God knows for how long. You know what needs to be done, Etta?”
She nods and picks another pair of glasses up, slipping them on her face.
“I’ve watched you with him, in this very market,” Lev’s voice is saccharine sweet, she’s heard it before and the blood runs cold through her veins. The intrusion into the relationship she thought she’d developed in private was being watched. Of course it was. Stupid girl.
“I’ve seen him kiss you, I’ve seen the way you look at him, Etta.” Etta watches as his pupils constrict in the mirror as his grip tightens on her flesh, sure to leave marks she will have to explain away.
Etta starts to shake her head and pulls away carefully, smiling playfully as she starts to protest but his words stop her.
“My eyes don’t lie. I’ve seen you. Do you not remember my words? If you fall for him I will kill you both. You are mine,” his finger back on her arm, holding so hard she has to bite her lip to stop from yelping. “Mine,” he growls in her ear. “I hope for both your sakes you are a better actress than I give you credit for, Etta.”
Lev leans into her, his nose in her hair and he inhales deeply, eyes never leaving her face for a second. “I would hate to murder you, my love.”
Through the ice in her veins she knows what she must do. A calmness settles over her, knowing her only way out of this encounter is to placate the man she once loved.
She removes the sunglasses and her eyes catch his in the mirror. She leans back into Lev, her upper back pressing against his chest and she pushes her ass into his crotch. Her voice is thick with sweetness when she addresses him. “Baby, I’m the best actress you’ve ever met. You think I have feelings for him? I’m repulsed by him. Every time he touches me it makes me want to vomit. I would kill him and his whole fucking family in a heartbeat to be back with you, my love.”
She sees Lev’s eyes change from hatred to relief and she knows he is putty in her hands again.
“I’m doing this for the family. For you. Just as you told me to. It’s all for you, a means to an end, my love. I’m leaving tomorrow, who knows when I will next get to see you. There's an alley up to the left. Meet me there in two minutes. I need you one more time before I go.” She turns in her heels and heads for the alley.
As she turns left she claps her hand over her mouth, desperately trying to stifle to cry and tears in the minutes she has before he joins her. She takes in some steadying breathes and prepares herself to allow Lev to touch her, fuck her, to betray Ivar with the man that sold her out like she was nothing. A mere commodity.
As she watches Lev enter the alley her skin starts to crawl, but she pushes the feeling away.
She’s let her guard slip with Ivar, she needs to pull herself back again, with more success this time. She curses inwardly at not realising she is being watched the whole time, of course she is, she’s her family's most valuable asset.
She can’t be the reason Ivar dies. She will be the best actress ever. To save herself. To save Ivar.
—————
Julietta is sure that Ivar feels the change in her, in the way she is with him over the next few weeks. Sometimes she can see her detachment break his heart and she wants nothing more than to open herself up again, allow him into her heart fully, but the memory of Lev’s words stops her.
Sometimes she feels herself allowing the feelings to creep back in. It’s easy when it’s just the two of them, living together, a normal life. Somedays, when she’s watching him move around their home, on the phone, smiling at her, she forgets what this all is. Fake. An assignment. Not for long, but long enough for it to crush her heart when she remembers.
Some days she is so angry. Furious at herself for letting her life come to this. Rage filled at her father for making her do this. Devastated at the circumstances that have led her life to this point. Angry that she is in love with a man completely out of her reach, despite being married to him. It’s on these days can hear herself say the most disgusting things, things about his wheelchair, his disability that make her so ashamed of herself she knows that when her time comes they will be the reason she will be dragged straight to the depths of Hell.
He shows her nothing but endless patience. She isn’t sure if that is because he is so in love with her or because she drops enough breadcrumbs of love and affection to keep him hopeful that she will return to the woman he met in Sardinia. Hope. It can hold people prisoner, and that’s what she feels she is doing to him. Keeping him shackled to a memory of the woman she wishes she could be with him, her old self.
Julietta can’t even bare to look at him when they have sex, can’t bare the way his eyes feel on her, like they are going to pull a confession out of her at any moment so she manipulates him again into being intimate in a way she can stomach, a way she can live with herself.
She manages to find an outlet in the form of a diary, written in code. She pours every thought, every feeling, every second of happiness into it so she doesn’t allow it to spill out into their actual lives. So she doesn’t compromise them. If she writes it down the weight of her feelings and the fear that accompany them is lifted slightly.
She’s allowed to the main house after the checks come back clean, before that she had barely any access to it at all which meant she didn’t have much to pass on to Lev when she saw him at the flat. Information is freely available to her now, access to staff, their gossiping, access to Ragnar’s study, although she is careful here until she is sure there are no cameras inside this space. There aren’t, probably so he doesn’t incriminate himself should the time ever come. It does mean she can access paperwork left around, listen in on conversations he has in there. She has yet to plant the listening devices given to her and try to access Ragnar's computer, making up excuses to Lev when pushed on the subject, only handing over as little as she can get away with.
She despises herself every time she does it, hearing the consequences of her actions spoken about by the Lothbroks, people killed, families ripped apart, collateral damage.
She tries to redress the balance of her disgusting deceit as often as she can. Julietta knows one of her strengths is the ability to read people as if they are telling her their secrets openly. Body language, the slightest flick of an eye, the quick exchange of notes between Ragnar's staff is stored in her head. Most of it is innocent, the occasional affair between staffers, a few people stealing from the kitchens, but any hint of something that could hurt any of the family she tells Ivar about, discreetly, so as not to give herself away, hints at things she’s noticed. Ivar is astute enough to read into it the droplets of information she gives him and neutralises the threat.
He can’t see I’m his biggest threat Julietta thinks sadly.
Over time Julietta becomes more involved with all the family members and she starts to enjoy their company, they treat her like one of their own, not knowing she is a snake in the nest. It’s hard enough betraying Ivar without the extra guilt so she stays detached, warm enough that she isn’t alienated but she keeps them at arm's length. For her own sanity.
After months of being on the estate with her love her brains tricks her into thinking she has some solace from her real life. She stops passing along as much information as she can get away with, only given intel she knows will have minimal impact on her husband and his family. She makes excuses to not have to meet up with Lev, passing along the information via a notebook hidden in her flat, deliberately ignoring Lev's outrage at her evasion, which is clear from the messages left in the hiding spot in her apartment.
She continues this way until a clear message is received. One of the Lothbrok security guards is found outside the estate with the letter E carved into his forehead; she knows she has to face her life outside the walls. For Lev to get so close to the estate, to risk the whole assignment to get her attention she knows she has no choice but to meet up with him.
The thought fills her with a paralysing fear, she can’t do this anymore. The double life has to stop and Julietta knows which of her two lives she wants.
Julietta goes to her apartment, calls Lev from the phone stashed in the space in the walls and arranges to meet him at the gym. She changes into her workout clothes and heads there with a racing heart. She went to the toilets at the back of the gym, where Lev has made sure that no security cameras reach.
He’s waiting for her and pins her to the wall before they mutter a world to each other. He pulls her shorts down roughly and his fingers are inside her before she knows what’s happening.
“Lev, no, we need to talk. Stop,” she tells him in Russian, grabbing his wrist to push him out of her, pulling up her shorts.
“Etta, what’s wrong? I’ve missed you. Do they know? Is that why I haven’t heard from you?” His mouth is all over her, her neck, her chest, making her skin crawl.
When he starts to kiss her mouth she twists her head away, and her head falls against the wall. It’s now or never.
“I'm not doing this anymore. I’m done. I'm going to be a proper wife to him. I love him, Lev. We are finished here.”
Lev's face pulls into a scowl before he bursts out laughing. “What? Don’t be ridiculous. You don’t love him. You are mine!” He grabs her face, bruising it with his fingers. “You can’t just stop, you will never be done!” His face is searching hers, trying to find a hint of a joke.
She smacks his hand away “Don't ever touch me again, Lev. I am done with all of you. I never wanted any of this. My father won’t kill me for falling in love. Ivar, he’s not like any of you, not with me, he's gentle and he loves me.” Etta’s chin is raised in defiance.
“I fucking love you!” Lev replies with desperation in his tone. “I’ve loved you for years. You can’t be in love with him, he’s the fucking enemy, Etta.”
“Is he?” she shouts at him. “I’m starting to think we are. Father is only doing this for territory, not for revenge or anything noble!”
“Etta, my love. You are smarter than this…” Lev’s tone is one she recognises. A calm, friendly tone which is uses at his most dangerous. “Think about this my love. Come to your senses and I won’t tell anyone what you’ve said today. I love you.”
“Oh Lev, you’ve always been about your career, Fucking the bosses daughter was a strategic move for you. I know you would never choose me over the family.”
“You think Ivar would?” Lev screams and punches the wall next to Etta’s head. “You stupid fucking bitch. You are fucking dead. What did I tell you before? Do you remember? If you fell in love with him I would kill you both.” His hand is back on her jaw, pressing her skull against the hard wall behind her. “Etta. Tell me he hasn’t tasted you.” Levs face screws into pure hatred.
“I remember. I don’t care. I only care about him.” Her breaths are shallow with fear now. She’s weighed up all her options in the small space they are in. She knows all of Lev's moves and if she’s quick enough she can get the better of him. Hopefully.
“My rule, Etta,” Lev says through gritted teeth. “Did you let him taste you?” His eyes flit to her mouth.“You treacherous fucking whore!” He grabs her around the throat and she reaches into the underside of her sports bra pulling out her mini switchblade, flicking it open expertly and pushes it into his groin.
“Femoral artery, Lev. You taught me that. Let go of me or I’ll do it. You’ll bleed out in a minute or so. I’m a good actress, remember? I’ll say you attacked me and I will be believed. Never dare to call me a whore again.” She pushes the tip of her knife into his skin.
He glances down and removes his hands from her throat. “Dead woman. You are fucking dead, Etta” He points in her face and slams the restroom door open so hard it closes again she locks it quickly, clapping her hand over her mouth, hyperventilating in fear. She spends a few minutes calming down and listening for any sign of him. Silence remains and she is sure she is safe enough to leave the gym.
When she steps outside she hears screams from her right and as she spins towards the noise she sees Lev driving straight at her before everything goes black.
——————————————-
Present day
Consciousness tugs at her as does Ivar’s voice, which is getting louder with every syllable. Julietta wakes on the floor of their closet, Ivar cradling her head. “Liet? Baby, thank god! Are you okay?”
Was it all a dream? A nightmare? She knows it isn’t.
Her whole life is back.
Julietta remembers everything and she starts to sob.
“Julietta, what is it? More memories?”
Gods knows she can’t let on that she remembers everything. Even in her vulnerable state she knows for certain she needs time to sort through everything. As much as she wants to pour the truth out to him she values breathing. She hasn’t taken all the risks she has for this man to have him kill her in their beautiful home.
She shifts so she is sitting up, pushing away the nausea and reaches for the pendant laying between them. “The necklace, I remember the first time I put it on you. Ivar, I need to lie down. My head,” she whines, clutching her temples. “My head is splitting.”
She manages to walk to the bed on her wobbly legs, with his help and climbs under the covers and curls up into a ball. The bed dips and she feels him behind her, pressing himself close to her, running his hand up over her arm.
“Do you need anything, love? I will call a doctor.”
“No don’t, I’m ok. I think it’s just going to feel like this when I get memories, they said that after the market. Can you get me some water?”
Ivar nods against her skin. “I will love, I’m going to set an appointment tomorrow to go back to the hospital for tests. Just to be sure.”
As she hears him start to leave she turns to him quickly, knowing she needs to address something. “Ivar? I really don’t have any memory of that man from the Gala.”
Ivar’s jaw ticks and he nods stiffly at her then leaves.
Her own lip curls in disgust when she thinks of Lev. He will be dealt with sooner or later.
She stare up at the ceiling before getting the strength to walk to the bathroom to take a look at herself in the mirror. She looks different now she remembers who she is. Harder, she doesn’t like it.
“Hello, Etta.” She says to her reflection.
She runs her eyes over her reflection, the scar on her cheek, pulling down her top to look at the scars over her arm. Her gaze travels back to her short hair and she sneers slightly then remembers Ivar’s reaction to it and smiles.
“You are not Etta anymore,” she says softly, pointing at herself in the mirror. “You are Liet, his Liet. Bury the old you, do you hear me?” Her reflection nods and she starts to formulate a way forward.
A path to happiness.
————-
She doesn’t know how she manages to keep it together in the days and weeks after her life returns but she does. She compartmentalises her life as Etta until Ivar leaves every morning, as soon as the front door shuts she runs to the shower and tears pour from her. Grief for her parents, they way they were taken from her, the sheer scale of who she was before crushing her like a bug under a wheel.
Broken, bent, torn apart by the old her.
She prays to the Gods to make her Liet again, to remove everything she knows now but it’s just an act of futility. She has to find a way to live with the knowledge that she betrayed her Ivar, to continue to function as his wife with the terror that he and his family will find out about her.
The thought of fleeing crosses her mind, for him as much as for her. Gods know what Ragnar would do to Ivar if he finds out. If she leaves him, just disappears, she could protect him from that, but she knows she’s too selfish, and where would she go? Back to Lev?
Back to the man who did this to her?
“Liet, you have to talk to me. I feel you pulling away from me. I know something has changed. You are not… you are the same… you are turning into the you from before the accident and I need you to be happy again. Baby, please talk to me.”
Julietta can’t meet his eyes, but she forces herself to as she lies to his beautiful face. “I keep seeing flashes, I don’t like what I see, Ivar. Snippets of the way I was, and hate it. I was a totally different person, I didn’t know how to let myself be loved but I don't know why.” She knows why, but she needs to give him something. She used to be able to deceive at the blink of an eye, she’s lost that ability and part of her is grateful, but a bigger part of her wishes she could bullshit with ease to his face.
“Gods,” she thinks, “I should just fucking end it all now and spare him the pain of knowing who I really was.”
“Liet. I chose you then, and I will choose you in every lifetime I live. Always, baby. I’ve loved you since I laid eyes on you, I’ve loved you through the bad, the terrifying and the amazing. You don’t remember it all but I do, and it’s you. It’s always you. Always.
—————————
She exists. Weeks are passing slowly and she is slowly learning how to be Liet, pushing Etta away. It’s easing, the guilt. The fear of being found out is something she just pushes away with a stern talking to in the mirror. She’s determined to be who she wants to be, not who she was.
Ivar looked over at her, she was more beautiful to him then she had ever been. With the mud and dirt of the march, the sweat of the armor she wore and the venom in her blue eyes, Ivar could not help but be aroused. She was his, not this foreign king's and she would always be his. Any he married were only to be used to carry his child and continue his legacy, but she was his, he was hers.
"It is time," she said, and Ivar looked forward, the Volva stood on the hill.
"She comes alone?" Ivar asked.
"No, she will hide her army beyond that hill," she assured, and Ivar studied the crestline of the hill, not seeing sign of any men. "She has foreseen our arrival and has had time to prepare," she assured.
"I thought you did not believe in her powers?” Ivar questioned and she shrugged.
“Just because I do not believe in them does not make them real,” she said.
“How large will her army be?” he asked.
“Large enough,” she replied, and Ivar scowled, he was a man of information. He had to know what he was putting his men up against to strategize and so far, he had no inkling of what he was up against.
The Volva rode towards them upon her horse, proud and with her wavy black hair billowing behind her. She came to a halt just beyond them and her blue eyes studied the pair, she was familiar to Ivar.
“Sister! I see you have finally found a fool enough army to fight alongside you!” she shouted, and Ivar’s head snapped to look at the Queen, she had a smirk on her face.
“Brave enough I think is what you mean, my husband is far too superstitious to fight you, but I am not,” she said, and the Volva smiled.
“Brave or fool, in the end they will be the same,” she warned and turned her horse, returning to her hill.
“You did not tell me she was your sister?” he questioned, and she shrugged.
“She is not my sister, she is my husband’s,” she said and turned to look at Ivar’s army. “Your men are able?” she asked.
“Yes!” Ivar defended, still irritated she had not told him the full truth.
“Though now I am not so sure I want to send them out for a Queen who disguises the truth,” he snarled, and she rolled her eyes.
“Ivar, if I had told you, it was to exact revenge on my sister-in-law, would you have gone?” she asked, and Ivar shrugged. “No, you wouldn’t have, you would have told me you will not involve yourself in family matters,” she said, and Ivar felt a small smile tug at the corner of his lips, she knew him. “And so, I told you that it was a volva in a far-off land, but I did not tell you all lies, she is a volva,” she assured.
“And how does a Volva amass an army?” he asked.
“She marries a king,” she muttered, and Ivar growled.
“If you do not tell me the truth, you will fight this battle alone,” he promised, and she sighed.
“Hulda is my husband’s younger sister, she was gifted with the sight of the gods supposedly and so had warned my husband that I would be the element of his destruction,” she said. “Yet he married me any way and she left to marry a King in a far-off land, handed off eagerly by my husband who had tired of her prophecies,” she said. “She continued to spew hate for me to her people and her people shared it with others, it began to poison my kingdom,” she said. “And so, I wished to behead the snake,”
“Why does she think you will be your husband’s destruction?” he asked.
“She said I will usurp his throne with another,” she said, and her eyes looked to Ivar.
“And this is why your husband is so leery of me,” he said, and she sighed.
“He is leery of every stranger that enters our lands, some he does not let leave them and instead keeps them locked away until they simply wither, die,” she said. “He is a very superstitious and scared of his own shadow,” she muttered.
“He is a brave warrior though,” Ivar argued, and she laughed.
“What tales have you heard that lead you to believe this?” she demanded, and Ivar listed several tales that had been told in his land of the great King Gunnarr, she only laughed. “Those are all my deeds,” she said.
“Your deeds?” he asked in disbelief.
“Yes, they were my deeds I did in his name and had them retold as his accomplishments,” she said.
“Why would you do this?” he asked.
“Ivar, if I was to be married to him, why would I want him to be seen as a weak King?” she asked. “Would I not want him to be strong and fearless, so that any children that came from us would have a legacy of greatness to carry?” she asked.
“But they could carry the greatness of their mother,” he tried, and she scoffed.
“Sons do not want to carry the mantle of their mother, it is their father they look to for that,” she assured. “You are an example of this, do you carry Aslaug or Ragnar’s mantle into battle? When the people whisper of you and your brothers, is Aslaug’s name ever spoken?” she inquired. “No, it is always Ragnar’s and so I needed to assure my husband’s name was entwined with bravery, fear,” she said, and Ivar shook his head.
“You are…” he trailed but fell quiet, he had no words to describe her.
“Impatient? Yes, let us start this battle,” she demanded and pushed her horse into a walk, inspecting Ivar’s men as they stood waiting. Ivar gazed at her and realized suddenly he may be a fool of the Gods, for he was playing right into the Volva’s prophecy. He would battle Hel herself if she so demanded it of him.
She gazed at Ivar from across the fire, biding her times and choosing her words. His arrival had been an answer to a problem that plagued her and haunted her dreams.
"Ivar," she began and his blue eyes looked over at her. "If I were to ask a favor of you, what repayment would you require?" she asked and he looked back to the fire, a smile played on his lips.
"Depends on the favor, I suppose," he mused and she smiled, he had always been shrewd at bargaining. She wrapped her hands around her wine cup and leaned closer to him.
"There is a volva, across the mountains," she said. "And the lies she tells of me damaging to my reputation," she stated and Ivar's eyebrows raised.
"And what lies does she tell in particular?" he questioned and she sighed, rolling her eyes.
"That I am born of Hel's own creation," she said and Ivar laughed. "You laugh but her tales of you are not much kinder," she warned and the laughter stopped, Ivar studied her.
"What are they?" Ivar asked.
"That you have no manhood, that you are a curse upon this earth born from Ragnar's ignorance of the Gods," she said and Ivar narrowed his eyes. "it is not so funny when it is about you, is it?" she queried and Ivar shook his head.
"What favor do you ask?" he demaded and she smiled.
"That you seek her out and silence her," she said.
"How does the Queen ask that I silence her?" he questioned.
"I do not care, that is the repayment of my favor," she said. "Kill her in any manner you see fit." she said and Ivar laughed.
"You think I am so blood thirsty I will accept such a simple repayment?" he asked and she nodded. "Then you know me too well," he said.
"So you will?" she asked and Ivar nodded.
"I will," he agreed and she grinned, beckoning to the thrall. She filled the Queen and Ivar's cup, both raised them before drinking.
She had been married off when she was young, she had no say in the matter and her father had traded her like cattle. She had been Ivar's before but he hadn't the courage to ask her to marry him. Now she lived in a far off land with a brute of man that Ivar heard terrible tales of and he had all but assumed she would be nothing like he remembered.
Yet the moment he set eyes upon her, he knew he was wrong. She was more beautiful then last he saw her, she was fierce and she was unapologetic. She stood beside her husband as an equal and not a subordinate.
"Ivar Ragnarsson," she spoke with a smirk on her lips. "It is has been too long," she mused.
"You are not as I remember," he commented and she laughed.
"No? Perhaps it is that I have grown up, as have you," she said and Ivar smiled at her.
"Why do you come to our lands, sons of Ragnar?" her husband asked in a deep and booming voice. The man stood taller than her, his black hair tied back and his beard of the same color braided. He was a warrior through and through, this was obvious to anyone who looked upon him. He had a scar that ran through his eyebrow and down below his eye, a lucky cut that had not taken the eyeball itself.
"We come seeking rest," Ivar said and the man's eyebrows raised.
"You bring your army to rest?" he asked, eyeing the large retinue of men behind Ivar.
"Yes, we march North and have no qualm with you," he assured and the man stroked his beard for a moment, then looked down to his wife.
"And what do you think, fagr?" he questioned and Ivar's eyes fell to her again, the same smirk on her lips.
"I think he tells the truth, I do not think he expected to find me here and now that he has, he has many questions," she said and her husband looked to Ivar.
"Is this true?" he asked and Ivar nodded, his eyes never removed from her. "Then come, feast in my halls and bathe in my wine but your weapons will be left at the door," he warned and Ivar gritted his teeth but at last nodded, they were led past the gates at last.
Note: This is a continuation of the story I was creating for the Autumn Equinox event but I didn't have inspiration using any of the other prompts, so I veered off course because I enjoyed the dynamic of the story so much.
It was as she had foretold. Ecbert had been no King, he had no rights to the land he had signed to the brothers and so they were left with their balls in their hand, a dead man in a barrel. Inga had all but disappeared, so enraged that the brothers doubted her and lost them what they had sailed for.
She returned days after and to endure Ivar's wrath.
"Where did you go?" he roared, knocking cups from the table but she did not flinch, only stared at him.
"I was angry," she stated and he laughed.
"You were angry? With me?" he asked and pressed a hand to his chest.
"Yes! With you and your idiot brothers!" she exclaimed and he leaned onto the table, getting closer to her.
"And what does Inga have to be mad at Ivar for, hm?" he asked and she rolled her eyes.
"Where are we?" she asked and waved her hands around. "Are we any richer than when we started, hm?" she asked and leaned closer as well, showing her lack of intimidation. "No, we are poorer if anything," she said and leaned back in her seat, Ivar rolled his eyes as he stood up.
"That is what you are mad at?" he demanded. "That I did not take your little advice?" he questioned and she scoffed.
"My little advice would have saved you a humilation," she muttered. "I watched as Ecbert died, he had no remorse and he had no fear, maybe I should follow his Christian god," she said holding Ivar's gaze and he narrowed his eyes.
"No wife of Ivar will follow the Christian god," he seethed and she stood.
"Then maybe I will be no wife of Ivar," she replied. "He does not listen to me anyway," she growled and stormed from the room, Ivar screamed in rage as he knocked further things from the table.
---
"Inga!" Bjorn yelled out as he spotted her stomping through the camp but she didn't stop. "Inga!" he shouted again and with a heavy sigh, she stopped, turning to face him. "Where did you get off to?" he asked, standing over her and she shrugged.
"I was angry, so I left," she said and Bjorn raised his eyebrows.
"Angry at who?" he asked and reached out to tuck hair behind her shoulder. Inga had been lovers with Bjorn before marrying Ivar, something that still drew ire from Ivar when confronted with it and Sigurd loved to confront him about it.
"That your brothers and you did not listen to my advice," she said and Bjorn shook his head.
"And what advice is that little one?" he asked and she stared at him.
"He did not tell you did he?" she demanded and Bjorn shook his head again.
"Who did not tell me? Ivar?" he asked and she nodded. "What advice was it then?" he questioned.
"I warned him that Ecbert made a deal he could not keep because he was no longer the King," she said and Bjorn's eyebrows raised again, higher.
"You knew we were being lied to?" he asked.
"I did and I told Ivar of it, he told me that he would share it with you and your brothers," she said.
"Well he did not," Bjorn said and looked around. "Where is my brother now?" he asked.
"I left them him there," she said and pointed in another direction, Bjorn launched into a walk. He stopped and looked back at her.
"Come to me next time, little one," he encouraged and she nodded, he continued his path. Soon she heard Ivar's roar and it was returned by Bjorn's, the brothers fought amongst themselves now. Inga shook her head.
