MORE THAN MY FACE

I will stay gentle / No matter what I endure / I am so much more

[noxhero]

“ Poor Timothy - haunted by handsome devils I tried to help him forget the past but what hope does he have -

- with a face like that ? “

Lev’s low activity, non-selective TIMOTHY LAWRENCE from the Borderlands franchise.​ carrd

[noxhero]

usmai​:

“You’re welcome,” Chris says, smiling. “You do what you can for your team.” And while Timothy may not necessarily be BSAA, the sentiment remains pure all the same: I care, through and through.

It takes a mighty self-control to sit on the side of the bed like a civilised man instead of falling straight into it, but he pulls his legs up and sinks, shutting his eyes against the novelty of feeling a mattress beneath him instead of a sleeping bag. After all the years of nothing but assignments, his back isn’t sure what to do with comfort.

He exhales slowly, his arm set on his side. This close, he’s not sure if he can feel the warmth of Timothy’s hand by his own senses or if the proximity makes him imagine it on instinct. Chris isn’t sure which he prefers.

“You a kicker, Tim?” he asks, turning to face him.

Timothy watches him until he lays down, then pointedly turns his eyes to the ceiling instead. He can’t remember the last time he slept in someone else’s bed without expectations. Without planning to get out as soon as those expectations were met. Ember had been that once upon a time, just a comfortable presence to share space and warmth with. That was before the nightmares, before their late night talks, before the pity in her eyes and the softness of her touch became unbearable.

He hadn’t realized how much he had missed it. The simplicity of sharing a space with someone you trust. And he does. In spite of all his anxieties he does trust Chris.

“ I don’t think so . Well ... I’ve been told I’m a mutterer . “ He answers, shifting to lay on his side.  “ But I give you permission to shove me if I’m keeping you up . Not too hard though . I’m sure you could put me on the ground with a good one . “ He jokes, and places a hand on Chris’s bicep in emphasis.

Embarrassment flashes across his face, and he quickly keeps his hands to himself again. “ I mean , uhm , I’m sure you’re used to sleeping in noisy places . I’m a pretty light sleeper myself . But don’t worry if you snore ! I don’t mind . I don’t get a lot of sleep these days anyway ... “ He trails off as he realizes he’s about to just keep rambling. “ So uhhh . Yeah . It’s all good . “ He says instead and awkwardly chuckles.

[noxhero]

strongfucks​:

@noxhero​ sent: ‘  what’s  the  deal  with  you?  ’ // <3 ► from this meme.

Amidst the blare of the alarm around them, Rhys’ irritation shines through when he says, “I am trying to save precious files before Dahl screws this place from the inside-out, so if you could leave me the hell alone, that’d be fanta-fucking-tastic.”

Then Rhys looks up, and his heart jumps into his throat when he sees the man standing in the doorway.

Jack? Handsome Jack? Oh, God, did I just tell Handsome Jack to–

“I-I…” He gulps. “I’m sorry, sir! It’s just– I couldn’t let this data get lost, and– not that I’m saying you won’t save us all, of course! It’s just always nice to have a contingency plan, and…

“And I’m totally messing this conversation up, aren’t I?”

The percentage on his palm screen ticks up to 92%.

Ever since Jack became CEO Timothy has started hating his job even more than he used to. It has almost felt relieving to be back like this. Gun in his hands, running for his life, being shot at. Well, almost. It’d feel a lot better if Athena, or Wilhelm, or even Nisha and Aurelia were here. This is what he hates the most though. The way people have started treating him either with fear, or worse, worship.

That’s not true, actually. It all takes a solid second place to Jack burning that brand into his face.

“ Whatever those files are about , they can’t be more important than your life . “ He argues, his own irritation shining through. He realises that despite his delivery the words are probably still too nice for Jack, so he adds “ ... So get a move on before I strangle you ... or whatever . “ He gestures with his gun as he speaks. “ I’ll try to make sure you don’t get killed . “

[noxhero]

@therelignedstars said:  “You need to eat something, you’ve been through a lot today.”

Timothy sighs in exasperation. “ I’m not a child ... “ He mutters. Though even his voice sounds exhausted. And now, at the mention of food, his stomach does start rumbling in protest. The truth is she’s right, about both things, and he knows it. He’s certain if he closes his eyes right now he’d fall asleep on the spot. But with how traumatising this day has been, and the still fresh wound that sits on his wrist where his right hand should be, it would be smarter to eat something first.

“ ... But ... Uh ... I guess I am hungry . “ He reluctantly adds. He hates the pity. But at least he’s not getting shot at. 

[noxhero]

lowerqualityrp​:

“Nice to meet you, Timothy. Sorry it’s under these circumstances, but we’ll be just fine if you keep calm follow my lead, alright?” Leon truly hopes that the guy can at least fake the confidence and composure needed to get through until they were safe. If he could, Leon would personally hand him the brown paper bag to hyperventilate in. There have been too many times the people in his care got hurt or worse, he can’t deal with another.

“The short version? I’ve been through this before.” And it was the sad truth. It was happenstance that he’s still alive. If he hadn’t been hungover and gotten to work late, he would have likely been one of the zombies with everyone else, wiped off the face of existence alongside Raccoon City.

And yet, there he was. Doing the same thing over and over and over again, in some goddamn loop. It never stops, and he’s always there. And as always, the fire to get civilians out reignites.

Though this time, it seemed like it might actually happen.

“How about you, Timothy? What’s got you coming here in the shittiest moment possible?”

He nods briskly. Follow his lead. That doesn’t sound too bad. “ Yes , of course . I can do that . “ He says. He’s been through much worse than this. His heart just needs to stop beating so fast and his hands just need to stop shaking. Easy. He isn’t wounded, Leon is here with him. Really, this is a much better situation than he usually finds himself in.

Leon, who apparently really does have experience dealing with these things. There’s relief at the idea that he’s so competent, But the relief is almost immediately overtaken by guilt for feeling like that about another person’s misfortune.

“ I was just passing through . I’m not even supposed to be here - “ He explains in an exasperated tone. “ I guess I’m just unlucky . “ He adds. It seems like the understatement of the century, but he doesn’t want to bother Leon with even more self-pity. “ I just wanted to get as far away as possible from all this . “ He lifts his gun as he says this, implying he’s speaking of the violence that comes with needing a gun in the first place.

[noxhero]

What flavor is your soul ?

Mint

life is fleeting, you more than anyone should know that. something we love today may never see tomorrow's sun. you pride yourself on skipping through moments, soft and merry. but you do not let your soul be tethered. is it for freedom or fear, sweetheart, that you do not let yourself be tamed? you are as fresh as and wild as bluebirds in snow, you smile at your problems before dashing away. hoping they will never catch up to you. but even nike can't run forever. you have been hurt before. but that is life. you wish to never feel that way again, but regretfully I must tell you that is nothing short of impossible. 

life is but part sorrow part sun, you cannot have teacups until they are burned by the kiln. oh I see the scars child, they shimmer down your chest, I see the pain in your eyes. but I also see the stardust. keep smiling, but allow tears also. you do not have to be solely wonder, fear, you are allowed to be bitter. so bite, and scream, and laugh, and love. that is what makes life worth living.

tagged by: @sweet-smarts tagging: @lowerqualityrp (for leon or anyone else if you feel like it!), @antielevator, @rubyredsiren

[noxhero]

rubyredsiren​:

She does her best not to flinch with every muffled scream he lets loose. Regardless of her own tolerance and desensitization to the act of tending to amputations, she never liked watching folks suffer. Especially with them wincing and whimpering like he was. She almost utters a sigh of relief of her own once the job’s done, but god knows how Timothy would react if the ‘professional’ were relieved.

She pulls a thermos from her bag, the metal is cold to the touch and sweats. Sammy unscrews the cap and quickly pours a cup into the lid, setting it and the thermos on the table. No longer in need of her tools, she begins putting them away as she offers the cup to Tim, sensing the croaking harshness in his throat.

“Yep, all done. Ya alright? Sorry, I know that was awful sudden.” Sammy answered earnestly, even with somebody who was literally wearing the face of a man who’d brought so much pain to her and everyone around her, nobody deserves to suffer.

“Try movin yer hand around and flexin yer fingers, lemme know if you think anythin’s….out of sync.” She pulls a small stress ball out of her pocket and a handheld fidget toys, setting them beside the cup of water.

While she doesn’t, he does let out a deep sigh in relief as she confirms that that’s it. He’s been through a lot of surgeries in his life, none succeeding to leave him without trauma. Compared to those this really isn’t so bad; despite the pain lingering in his wrist.

“ Not really , no . “ He deadpans honestly. His face still throbs with pain sometimes. Whether real or not, it’s frightening every time. Considering his track record, he doubts his hand will be much different. 

He still does as she tells him and tries wiggling his fingers. Amazed to see the prosthetic respond to his commands. He just stares for a while as he opens and closes his fist. It shouldn’t come as a surprise to him that it works really. After all, he’s known several people with prosthetic limbs before. It’s still strange when it’s on his own body.

“ I mean , uh , it’s good . It works good . I’m good . “ He says, suddenly becoming aware of the stretching silence. “ Uhm , how much longer is it supposed to hurt ? “

[noxhero]

tigerpalm​:

The mention of his mother hits Jake in a way he didn’t expect to be hit, but the idea of having a mother to come home to is probably the worst thing about it, if only for the brief moment of envy that consumes him whole.

Jake pushes the feeling aside, holstering his gun for now to hold his hand out Tim’s way. “Gimme that.

“You’re not dying today, all right?” That Tim has family to get back to spikes a quiet desperation in him Jake refuses to acknowledge. He doesn’t know the details of his contract with Hyperion, and frankly it’s none of his business, but if there’s a chance that Tim can get back to his mother, then that’s all that matters. “Everyone’s got their time– you don’t gotta rush to yours.“ A beat. “And I’m here to back you up, too.

“Now c’mon. Check your automatics while I do that for you.” Tim’s shaking hands will get him nowhere with the manual reloads. “The less time we spend messing with bullets, the better.”

He looks up at him through watery eyes. Without any arguing he hands him the gun. It’s not like he wants to die. He definitely isn’t planning to just lay down and let whatever Elpis has in store for him have its course. In fact, he’s found he’s a pretty good shot, even under duress.

It’s the shooting people part that’s a problem; the constant 'them or me’ mortal danger that’s drained him of all his resolve.

“ Okay . . . “ He mutters as he takes another one of his guns out, this time the small Dahl SMG they’d looted from Spring’s place before coming here. There’s still tears rolling down his cheeks, but he hardly makes any noise. He does feel bad. Jake seems qualified for this job, to say the least, and he’s had to deal with so much of his incompetence any lesser person would’ve just left him to die.

“ I really don’t know why they sent me here . “ He suddenly says, his voice slightly hoarse from crying. “ I mean - I - I really didn’t sign up for any of this . “ His focus remains on reloading his gun as he speaks. It goes much better now, and with a satisfying click the new clip snaps into place. “ I’m starting to think maybe - this whole doppelganger program thing , all the surgeries , the voice changer , the dna . . . maybe I was just an experiment to them and - and launching me out here is a way to get rid of me . “

He’s silent for a moment after that safe for some soft sniffling. Eventually, he adds “ . . . I’m sorry you got settled with the dead weight . “

[noxhero]

hyperium​:

how  far  technology  had  come  -  for  him  to  be  alive  without  needing  to  breathe ,  fully  conscious  of  his  surroundings  despite  acting  like  a  ghost  around  the  place .  jack  was  nothing  but  a  piece  of  artificial  intelligence ,  one  that  survived  after  helios  fell  but  it  sure  was  great  to  know  his  casino  was  still  up  and  running  -  well ,  to  a  degree  at  least.  taken  over  by  an  annoying  prick  but  he  had  to  admit  he’s  had  his  fun  watching  the  doppelgangers  run  away  and  try  to  survive .

and  of  course ,  the  one  special  case  of  the  unwillingly  loyal  body  double  happens  to  excel  on  what  had  become  a  battlefield ;  he  waited  until  they  were  alone ,  and  although  he  could  see  just  about  every  corner  of  the  room ,  the  other  should  only  hear  his  voice .  

“ nice  board  you  got  there ,  kiddo .  needing  some  positive  daily  affirmations ,  huh ?  maybe  you  should  just  accept  you’re  more  like  me  than  you’d  like  to  admit . ”

Really, Timothy should have known it would come down to this again. Jack is dead, no doubt about that. But that doesn’t mean he’s done being tormented by him. He’s never enjoyed killing people. Still panics at the sight of gore. But when the casino closed down and all chaos broke lose, his experience as a vault hunter had given him a major advantage above the rest. Including the other doppelgangers.

He tries very hard not to feel guilty. He’s only killed in self defense, that’s what he tells himself. But sometimes he’s not so convinced of that.

The casino is so obnoxiously plastered with Jack everywhere that he isn’t even alarmed when he first hears the voice. Only when the words register, and he realises they can’t be addressed to anyone but he himself is when he turns and whips his head around so quickly he almost dizzies himself. “ . . . What ? ! “ Of course there’s no one there. He’s in his hideout, safe. Is he going mad? He knows all the other dobbelgangers are dead. And Jack... He can’t be alive can he? “ No . . . No . “

He buries his head in his hands, this isn’t happening. “ Get it together asshole ! “ He yells at himself. Jack isn’t here, he was shot by some vault hunter on Pandora. Even he couldn’t have survived a bullet to the head.

[shadow-magnet]

“He’s got big dreams. And I’ve got student loans.”

[noxhero]

tigerpalm​:

Jake decides this is fitting, considering the key Tim had just pulled out from the toilet. After being shocked multiple times by Deadlift only earlier and just barely escaping the clutches of the New-U, Jake would love nothing more than a fucking break.

Alas, looking out into the open field and the kraggons that populate it, he supposes that isn’t in the cards if they decide to push forward.

“Look, the waystation shouldn’t be too far out.” Jake refills his revolver with bullets, clicking it back into place. “Then we’ll get the dumb car, and you can sleep while I drive us somewhere to camp.

“But we can’t stop here, J. It ain’t safe.”

Timothy really has no idea what he’s even doing here. He’s not like Jake or the other vault hunters. He can’t just jump from jump pad to jump pad without vomitting, or be shocked repeatedly and not pass out from that. 

He’s trying his hardest not to do either of those things. But that doesn’t stop him from complaining. 

He knows Jake is right, this moon is just as crazy as the planet it orbits. There’s barely any safe spots, if at all. They can’t catch a break until they’re out of here. “ I know - I just - I can’t do this Jake ! I’m not a vault hunter ! “ He cries, his own gun almost slipping out of his hands with how much he’s shaking. Whether from the aftershocks or the breakdown he’s about to have, even he doesn’t know. “ I - I - “ He stutters, frustrated tears welling up in his eyes at his inability to properly explain himself. With a defeated sigh, he puts his arms together in almost a self hug. “ I just want to go home . . . If I die here , my mom would never even know . “

Despite his crying, he does clumsily try to follow Jake’s example and reload his own gun. But with his shaking and the tears in his eyes, it’s less than succesful and only helps to frustrate him more.

[noxhero]

lowerqualityrp​:

It’s all but reassuring as he watches the other seemingly fold into himself mentally.

The guy can’t even look me in the eye, how the Hell is he going to survive this?

He wishes he could say that this guy wasn’t his problem, but he knows full well that’s not the case.Even back in Raccoon City, he wanted to save anyone and everyone he crossed paths with, and that mindset had never changed. If anything, the older he’s gotten and the more people he’s lost, he’s grown more desperate to get the people he’s with out.

With a soft sigh and subtle nod, Leon looks at him once more to tell him to stay close, going quiet only as he notices the ease in which he handles the gun.

His brows raise slightly into his forehead as their eyes meet, wanting to ask how someone who clearly hates the thought of shooting knows how to work a gun so well, but he doesn’t. After all, he’s not exactly different in that mindset.

“Alright, let’s go then.”Leon leads the way out after checking around the corner to ensure there were no surprises. “I’m Leon, by the way.”

Timothy knows he’s a coward. It’s something he’s always known about himself, even before there was first shoved a gun in his hands on Elpis all those years ago. There’s really no logical answer to how he’s survived this long. Yes, he’s an experienced shot, but that’s only if he can get himself to pull the trigger in the first place.

There’s a certain stubborness to his survival. That despite how many times he finds himself in situations like this, life continues on. He’s glad Leon is here. He’s never been able to do these things alone. As long as there’s someone else counting on him, caring about his survival; he can gather up the courage to become someone useful.

“ Of course - yes - “ He quickly responds as he follows closely behind him. In fact, he puts a shaking left hand on his arm to stay close. “ My name is Timothy . “ He adds quietly. It’s something he’ll never get tired of; the simple act of being able to introduce himself with his own name. That’s nothing to dwell on now, though. “ You seem like you’ve been through this before , uhm - Leon . I don’t - I don’t mean to pry but . . . Why are you here ? “

[noxhero]

❤  𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐈'𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑!

1. alias / name: Lev <3 2. birthday: 25th of febuary 3. zodiac sign: pisces ! 4. height:  5′4″/ 162 cm 5. hobbies: gaming, both tabletop and video. and art unfortunately 6. favorite color: red 7. favorite book: The Kingkiller Chronicles by Patrick Rothfuss (its a series not a single book....) 8. last song: Holding To The Ground from Falsettos 9. last film / show: Die Hard (w/ my beloved @tacticalvest) 10. recent reads: Danganronpa: IF, Battle Royale by Koushun Takami (still need to finish both of these........) and an embarassing amount of League of Legends short stories 11. inspiration: I’ve been playing a lot of tps lately... though this blog has mostly become resi crossover w/ Lance and Beck safe for a few rare exceptions lmao. 12. story behind url: I am not immune to reluctant hero trope. 13. fun fact about me: I would kill a man for some fries and a beer rn ngl. (i also make 3d art or whatever)

tagged by: @hyperium (thank you!) tagging: @lowerqualityrp @tacticalvest @chaosmultiverse @rubyredsiren (& whoever else wants to do it !)

[noxhero]

tacticalvest​:

@noxhero sent: please, for just one night, will you lie down next to me? → from this meme.

Chris had been ready to lie on the floor, as he always has even before Timothy came to stay with him, when the question comes. With the pillow tucked under his arm and the blanket slung over his shoulder, he has to turn to look behind him where Timothy’s sat at the edge of the mattress.

Why does he say “please” like Chris thinks him some kind of burden? What is it in his voice that makes Chris think that Timothy’s got no idea Chris will do anything for him?

He’s thankful for the low light, if only so Timothy might be less likely to see how warm his face has gotten. But maybe the slice of moonlight through the slit between his curtains makes it obvious when Chris swallows.

In the end, though, he murmurs a soft, “Yeah.” And then, a sheepish chuckle following, he says, “Scoot over. I don’t wanna fall on top of you or anything.”

Because God knows Chris is tired enough that he can’t imagine doing anything but fall.

Timothy has been alone for years. When working for Hyperion, even though even the nice people there had been ruthless murderers, at least the loneliness he felt back then wasn’t as soul crushing as it had become over the years since he left.

Chris inviting him to stay with him is the best thing that’s happened to him in possibly forever. It isn’t a high bar to pass, really. But Timothy is extremely grateful. So much so that he feels guilty asking anything else. Even something as simple as laying besides him.

Maybe he feels that way because of his own selfish feelings. Is it pathetic that he feels so smitten by one of the first people who’s actually been nice to him?

He nervously waits for his response, fidgeting with the sheets underneath him. Pointedly keeps his eyes on the floor and misses any nuance that may have been clear in the changing of his expression. At the confirmation though, he quickly looks up again, a relieved smile on his face. “ O - of course ! “ He crawls further up the bed, making place for him to get on as well.

“ Chris , Thank you . For all this . “

[tacticalvest]

while he looks so sad in photographs, i absolutely love him when he smiles ( @noxhero )

[noxhero]

sirens-shock​:

“You’re welcome.” Akachi said softly as she got closer to him, she bent down to pick the first aid kit up, She walked forward again to sit next to him, geez his voice was a little unsettling but she can see past that now if he needed help. “I’ll do my best to be quick, I’ve helped my brother get back on his feet with worse.”  

“Sorry in advanced…I gotta make the tear bigger.” Akachi got right to work, moving the torn fabric of his pants leg to get a better look at his bullet wound. She didn’t want to risk trying to fish out the bullet, she wasn’t a medic and she didn’t want to test his trust. Akachi took out some gaze, applying pressure to his wound to get the bleeding to stop, using bandages to tie up his wound, it was the best she could do at the moment. She looked to see if there was anything around them she could use as a tourniquet but she didn’t see anything around them that wasn’t trash or might risk him getting tetanus. 

“Is there anywhere I could take you? I could only do so much here and I don’t feel okay leaving you in some corner even if you’re bandaged up.”   

He tries to stay as still as possible as she works on his wound. Only occassionally flinching at her touches and whimpering as she applies pressure to his wound. He doesn’t say anything more, by some odd luck it doesn’t seem like she recognised his voice and he really doesn’t want to test his fate right now.

Still he can’t help the noises he makes as she handles his leg. He’s always been sensitive and squeamish, no matter how many times he gets shot that’s something that’ll never change. Even when she asks her question he just shakes his head and keeps his gaze pointed towards the ground. He reaches up to pull his hood further over his head before he goes to stand up. 

He only gets halfway before he cries out in pain and falls down again. He really does need more help. “ I - I have a place nearby but - “ He says with a trembling voice after he regains his composure enough to speak. If he’s going to tell her about his hideout, he wants to know if she’s going to try to kill him for his face first. It’s really a lose lose situation. But he’s locked in a stalemate.

“ Please don’t shoot me . . . “ He trails off, his voice becoming softer the longer he speaks. 

He reaches up to lift his hood, blue and green eyes looking up to meet hers. There’s tears in them. “ It’s not what you think - “

[noxhero]

tacticalvest​:

A lot of questions, pal.

Jake goes through them all. I wonder what hobbies he has, and lists shit like reading, or drawing, or playing video games, or singing, or whatever the fuck. He lists out the seasons in a year on the various planes he’s been on– which one is this mysterious stranger’s favourite, he wonders? He goes through colours, and music genres, until finally, finally…

“You know how nicknames help people get closer together?” he muses aloud. “We’ll be partners for God knows how long. Figure I could make something up for him– ‘specially since I can’t call him anything for” – there’s a snort as he makes air quotes – “professionalism.

“But I could call him A for Awesome. B for Bitchin’. C for Coolcat…”

And yes, he intends to go through the whole alphabet like this.

For someone who’s spent every moment since they landed on the verge of a mental breakdown, he gets increasingly calmer during their back and forth. He nods and shakes his head along with his questions. He likes writing, and draws too. the colour blue is his favourite...

It’s cathartic in a way nothing since his surgeries have been. He never used to be someone who enjoyed talking about himself, but he didn’t expect how good it would feel to be able to think about who he is and not who he’s supposed to be imitating for a change. And to do that in a way that puts no expectations on himself.

When Jake starts going through the alphabet, he does hesitate. He’s Jack from now on, that’s what they’d told him. He really should correct him and tell him that it’s Jack, no matter how confusing it might be. But if it’s just a nickname. And he’s not actually saying it out loud, could it really hurt that much? Surely he can indulge himself in this small something.

So he does. It’s a slow process but eventually he lets him go through the letters thrice, nodding at each one that applies until it spells Tim.

His nerves flare up again almost immediately. But nowhere near as bad as before. He finally speaks up again, so soft it’s easily missed over the noises Elpis makes at night. “ Jake . . . Thank you . “