๐ฅ + do you ever think maybe they just should have let me die? that maybe that would have been better than becoming what i am now?
( ASK MEME II: HAPPY HOUR | not accepting )
ย ย now after that question, taewon is royally pissed off, angrier than he ever remembered being, his whole being shakes with fury as he jumps to a stand and the stool he was sitting on falls back, a huge sound that quietens the laughter around them. it takes mere seconds before he clenches his fist and punches doyoon across his smug face, not able to stop himself from causing a scene right then and there. a few gasps are heard through the bar, and only then taewon realizes they are amidst their co-workers, no matter how drunk everyone is. he glances around for a second before his hands grab doyoonโs lapels, and he glares at him before uttering out a โ โcome with me, now.โ that leaves no room for argument.
ย ย if there is anyone who wants to stop them from fighting, no one steps forward, and before they can attempt to do so, taewon drags them out of the bar to the elevator, pushing doyoon inside before he presses the button for the ground floor. he refuses to talk, but his grip on doyoon is tight, probably alarming as well but taewon doesnโt budge. and when they reach the ground floor, he drags them both out to the street, and once they are in the clear, he pushes doyoon against the side of the building. even though he has always been smaller in stature, he puts his entire strength to it, an arm on doyoonโs chest. and the pressure has been building up through their walk down that his eyes are wet, both in anger and sadness at the same time.
ย ย โhow โ how could you ask thatโโ he lets out, unable to stop the tears falling down from his eyes. itโs good that itโs dark outside, but he doesnโt try to hide them either, his voice should be giving it away one way or another. he only falters for a moment, pulling back momentarily before he pushes doyoon again, glaring up at him. โi donโt know if youโre trying to piss me off on purpose, because you canโt be this dumb, you canโt be.โ taewon utters out, his eyes hard, one of his hands clenched into a punch because he isnโt sure if doyoon deserves another one or not.
ย ย โyou โ youโre my fucking family โ- how dare you ask that, we said โ i thought you knew how much you mean to me, why are you asking me that ? why are you being soโฆ cruel ?โ he breathes out, pulling back only then, his hands going slack as he falls back on his heels. tears have been falling down harder now, and one hand goes up to furiously wipe them off, his teeth gritted as he lets out a ragged breath, genuinely hurt and confused. he hates the vulnerability it shows, this is not something taewon does often or at all โ but doyoon has been pushing him to this point throughout the entirety of the night, and he doesnโt know what to do anymore.
ย ย โyou havenโtโฆ become anything different โ itโs still you. my best friend. my brother. my only family.โ taewon begins, looking down as tears continue to run down his face, only when he says those last words he looks up to meet doyoonโs eyes, wanting him to see everything he has been feeling about these goddamn awful questions. โand if you genuinely think that would ever cross my mindโฆ maybe you are not the person i thought you were. you keep pushing and twisting and hurting โ- i know you are no saint, and i am not one either but โ you never did this to me. just tell me if you fucking hate me so much. if this is one of your reverse psychology games you learned in fucking med school, iโm telling you now. stop it โ just fucking โ stop it โ-โ his words lose strength as he moves on, more choked up, more upset than he ever showed to the outside world. he wants to punch him again, but he canโt bring himself to do so. he just wants to leave, after hearing all those awful things from doyoon, all those false assumptions that doubt his love for his friend, taewon doesnโt know how to look at him anymore.
ย ย โiโm leaving, you dick. just like you wanted.โ he mutters out, evading doyoonโs gaze and turning on his heel. โjust tell me you fucking hate me, goddamn โโ with that under his breath, he takes a shaky breath and begins to walk away, unsure what to do after this. he feels lonelier and more lost than he ever felt in a long time; he has no answers at all.
ย ย taewonโs affronted, shocked, and completely furious at the question directed at him. for a second he doesnโt even understand if doyoon actually asked him that, the alcohol rendering his brain slower than usual, anger needing a little bit longer to arrive than it normally would, especially at the face of his best friend. the same very best friend who is asking him such atrocities right then โ โwhat the fuck ?โ he can only manage that out at first, glaring daggers, fires at the man in front of him.
ย ย โdid you fucking fall on your head or something?โ he yells out, jumping up at from his seat near the counter to a stand, an accusing finger pointed at doyoon, inches from his face. how dare he ask a question like that, it has to be a joke, it has to be โ- he searches for answers on his friendsโ face, but he fails to find any, nothing but seriousness on features he knows how to read well. โyou are a damn idiot thatโs what โ-โ the weapon specialist begins, the hand thatโs not pointing accusatorially towards doyoon is clenched to a fist at his side, nails digging into his palm.
ย ย he needs to take a moment to calm down, he really does, for he is seconds away from punching doyoon across his face, and he barely manages to stop himself. โiโm not answering that; itโs such a fucking stupid question that it shouldnโt be granted an answer. i thought you were a smart man, you dick โ why the fuck are you asking me that ?โ there is a moment of spiralling as he speaks, panic in his features that he needs to hide. even the mere thought of doyoon thinking that, believing in that feels like a bucket of cold water thrown at his face, shocking, chilling โ and goddamn horrifying.
ย ย โi would have gone to hell and brought you back if you didnโt come back.โ thatโs what he settles with, only barely managing to calm himself down enough to sit back, though still fuming. โand if you ask me something as stupid as that again, i will throw you to hell myself โ-โ
ย ย ย the weekend is always a good time for sleeping in, a time where he can try to offset the lack of sleep during the weekdays. taewon is glad he can charge up until noon, and when he wakes up, he is happy about his choice of plans for the day, looking forward to sungjoo's visit later in the evening. after waking up, one thing he knows for sure is that his house is very lacking when it comes to actually hosting other people. so even though it takes him a couple of hours to get into proper clothing, he does a quick trip to the mall, buys some snacks and more than enough alcohol for a dozen people for the night. he can imagine sungjoo must be tired too, life as a trainee is quite literally hell most of the time, so he wants her to have a nice time, knowing that having some time off will be good for her too.
ย ย ย after getting back and sorting out the groceries (which includes a lot less vegetables and more fat and carbs), taewon buries himself on his couch, with a laptop on his lap. he sometimes jots somethings down on his notpad, altering between that, working on some designs and watching new tv series, time passes quite easily. with his phone at his side, he texts sungjoo to ask her what she is up to, and asks what she would like him to order to the house, because there is no way taewon is going to try to cook. luckily enough, there is a great restaurant around the corner that he orders in very often, and about ten minutes before she is supposed to arrive, he calls in and puts an order, hoping that it won't arrive too late.
ย ย ย it's soon after that there is a knock on the door, and he shoots up and heads to the entrance, turning it open and grinning at the sight of her. "hey there, trainee. how's it going? are they still killing kids with horrendous running routines?" with that he opens the door wide, motioning her to come inside. anything that reminds him of that hellish year of st program makes a shudder run through his figure, so although he wants to have a nice time with her, taewon also wants to make her comfortable, god knows what she was up to during the weekdays. "i ordered some food not long ago, it should arrive soon. make yourself at home." he closes the door after her as he leads them both to the living room, intending to go to the kitchen to get some drinks for both. "would you like something to drink? beer? or is it too early for you โ"
ย ย they are both laughing at something idiotic, having had a few drinks too many, taewonโs head is happily light. itโs a fun conversation at first as they are reminiscing about old times, talking about life when they were both in college, living in that flimsy old apartment that always smelled bad. taewon still thinks it was one of the best times he had, and still looks back to it with a grin on his face โ or a laugh, as doyoon reminds him of the constantly broken sink. itโs a few minutes later that it takes a grave turn, when doyoon decides to ask himโฆ that. even though the weapon specialist is still drunk, it sobers him up nonetheless.
ย ย "no! i didnโt โ i donโt โ" he begins, not liking any thought that involves him hating doyoon. the man is his family, basically everything he has that grounds him, which is why using his name next to hatred initially gets a visceral reaction out of taewon. he pauses afterwards, and itโs not hard to figure out what doyoon means by that. he means after university, when the older went on to join doctors without borders, if taewon hated him for making a decision that made doyoon so happy. perhaps thatโs yet another reason he is so affronted, almost angry that doyoon would insinuate that. โit made you so happy, how could i hate you for following your dreams?โ he lets out, louder than he intends, almost as if heโs asking are you stupid?. then it takes a few more seconds of thought before he just sighs and looks down at his glass.
ย ย "i donโt know if you have been thinking that for a while, or where the hell that came up, but donโt you dare โ" his attention turns back to doyoon at that, something akin to a flame in his eyes. โyou were so happy. i couldnโt hate you for that. even if i wanted to, i could never.โ he is perhaps the only person in the entire world that taewon can be selfless with; anything doyoon asked, taewon would do without a second question. and when that involves his happiness, he would rather die than be in doyoonโs way, as dramatic as it sounds.
ย ย ย "do i hate the way you came back? absolutely. i fucking wanted to hurt everyone involved. i wanted to punch whoever was responsible โ i wanted to beat the shit out of them. i hated how still you were in that hospital bed, covered in fucking bruises โ looking so damned lost โ" he gets heated up at that, slamming a fist on the tabletop, enough to make his hand hurt. then he gets solemn, shaking his head once again. โbut not you. i donโt โ i canโt hate you. not for that. not for trying to go after your dreams. i donโt know why it even crossed your stupid mind.โ
ย ย empty paper cups litter his workspace, leaving dark stains on the extra paper he does his drafts on. taewon simply uses those as a coaster as he works on designs throughout the day, and luckily enough, there aren't many distractions that day in the workshop. it's almost normal that people mess up their prototypes, or talk very loudly (read:yell) at each other trying to brainstorm, but the events of the past few weeks must have worn enough people out to give the weapon specialist some peace of mind. on an even brighter side, it also means his later plans including one certain trainee will go on interrupted, and taewon is very happy about that. it's not often he invites people over to talk about new prototypes, and it's even rarer that he is looking forward to it. when it comes to jaehwa, he was certainly surprised, pleasantly so โ at first his instinctual doubt made him ask many questions to see if she was actually interested, but he has gotten to know her enough to realize that yes, yes she is.
ย ย ย and as much as he usually doesn't like working with others, that excites taewon. it's different this time. he wants to share what he knows, his experience in the field with someone he thinks will appreciate it. he has some prototypes he is currently working on, and going from what he knows about the girl so far, he is sure she will enjoy it. a glance at his watch tells him that there are around ten minutes left until he is going to pick her up from the entrance of the workshop. security is quite tight, and he knows a trainee wouldn't be able to get in without an intelligence agent. the time left is less than he thought it was, so he quickly gathers the mess of papers on his desk to a neater pile and finishes off the last spaces of the paperwork he has left. it's five more minutes later that he takes his phone to send her a text, before heading out to the entrance.
๐ฉ ย ( ย text to โ choi jaehwa ย ) ย โ ย are you still up for it?
๐ฉ ย ( ย text to โ choi jaehwa ย ) ย โ ย if so, i'm @ the entrance of the workshop
ย ย and with that he steps out to the main corridors, and walks a bit towards the elevators before leaning on a nearby wall. she can clearly access the floor until this point, so he hopes the trainee will turn up soon.
He feels like heโs seen the other male before, but not in the clandestine branch.
It is not the first time Seojun sees someone from another branch practicing, but this guyโฆ He canโt help the soft chuckle that escapes from his lips when he sees the way the other is punching the bag โ itโs clear that heโs not exactly sure of what heโs doing.
โHey, dude!โ He says, with a small smile on his face as he looks at the other.ย โYouโre gonna hurt yourself if you donโt fix your posture.โ
ย ย it is not too often that taewon lets things build up. normally, if he can, he is quick to react, wanting to get it off of his chest as soon as he can, reply back to whoever has pissed him off. however, of course, there are instances where he simply cannot do that; it's hard to say fuck off to your boss, or explain the irrational anger going through his veins. it's hard, it happens because of a plethora of reasons he knows don't make sense. if anything, work helps a lot; usually he can channel it into something he actually likes. however, sometimes, when even that is not a proper outlet, taewon heads to the gym regardless of the time and hits a punching bag until his hands are sore and his body is tired enough for him to go to sleep.
ย ย ย it's one of those days, it's way past working hours as he is in his regular clothes and glaring at a punching bag with all his might. if someone saw that from another perspective, he is sure they would think he is about to start a fight, but luckily, the other object is inanimate, and it is takingย taewon's anger quite well so far. he hears someone else enter the gym, but he decides not to pay it any mind, hoping that whoever it is won't stay for so long. it's something hard to explain, and taewon is really not in the mood to be nice.
ย ย ย more time passes, his arms begin to hurt, sweat has collected on his hairline. he huffs, still not quite through with his anger session yet. it's only then that he realizes the person before has made his way towards taewon, and apparently he has something to say to him. normally, the weapon specialist would be more... kind. or less volatile. but it's not one of those days and he turns to the other with a glare on his face, one hand going up to wipe the sweat off his forehead with his sleeve. "oh yeah?" that's the first two words that leave his mouth, and he hardly makes an effort to make it sound softer. "wanna come here and show me how then? it would be better punching something that moves." to be completely honest, he is pretty sure the man in front of him is much better at this than he is, but right at that second, taewon isn't looking forward to admitting something like that. "to teach me the posture, of course."
it is hard to pinpoint an exact fear, there are a few things here and there; the first one is that he hates is the idea of being dependent on someone. he wants to be self-sufficient, and it is rare for him to genuinely ask help when he needs it. one exception is doyoon so far, he knows they are family at this point, so he will ask for help. but in general, he wants to be able to do everything on his own, which is unrealistic most of the time. another irrational fear he wants to get over is that taewon hates the dark. most of the time, there is a night lamp on in his room, or the lights are on in the bedroom instead. it started after the incident with the foster family, and though he hides it well nowadays, he despises being in the dark. losing sight is one of the greatest fears he has, which is why he usually has a small flashlight in his bag, even though he hasnโt exactly used it yet.
โณ โ๏ธ whatโs the hardest part about being a nis agent?
there are a few factors that come into play. after his previous job at the research center, being a weapon specialist at nis feels a lot more creative and interesting, so if he had to complain about one thing, it had to be that he gets to know the agents he is working with. he didnโt know who used his weapons in the past, but now that he is acquainted and friends with some of those people, the prospect of his weapons actually malfunctioning isโฆ scary to say the least. he knows they wont, they go through countless tests and prototype stages, but he is still uneasy about the prospect that he could be the cause of innocent deaths, so he tries to ignore that as much as he can.
โณย ๐ what is your favourite place at the hq? where do you spend your time off work?
definitely the workshop. his own desk is littered with prototypes, prints and plans for old and new weapons, and itโs also where he comes up with a good proportion of his ideas. itโs often that he eats as his desk as he scrabbles some new designs, and even though he is surely not tidy by the traditional sense, he has a very specific method of placing things, so he hates it if someone tries to mess around on his desk. itโs easiest to find him in the workshop during work times, and when he is off work, he is most of the times at his house, where he also has a workspace of his own. itโs nowhere near as equipped as the one at the hq, but it is decent enough that he can work on some designs and come up with new inventions. when it comes to having fun, sometimes he can also be found at his favourite bar, or most of the time, he is simply lounging at doyoonโs condo.
โณย ๐ถย have you had any pets? do you have one right now?
he used to have two rabbits when he first started his first job, but they sadly passed away after a few years and taewon couldnโt bring himself to get a new pet. he has been thinking about getting a new one lately, perhaps an exotic animal, but his work hours are really irregular, so he is afraid that whichever animal he ends up getting, itโs going to feel lonely at home. he will work around it if he ends up getting one, but he is on the fence at the moment.
๐ผ โ whatโs the favourite country you have ever visited? why?
๐ฌ โ which languages can you speak? how did you learn them?
๐ โ how do you dress outside work? whatโs your preferred attire?
๐ฅ โ whatโs your greatest fear?
๐ซ โ whatโs your preferred weapon, why?
๐ฅ โ how did you get recruited to nis?
๐ โ how often do you get sick? how do you feel about doctors?
โ๏ธ โ whatโs the hardest part about being a nis agent?
๐ฃ โ whatโs the most unforgettable memory you have since you joined the agency?
๐ทย โ do you like drinking alcohol? if so, what is your favourite liquor?
โ๏ธ โ do you prefer coffee or tea? why?
๐ช โ do you have any scars? how did you get them?
๐ฑ โ whatโs your eating habits? which cuisines do you like?
๐ค โ what are your sleeping habits? how many hours of sleep do you get in a day?
๐ผ โ how often do you listen to music? if so, what are your favourite songs?
๐ โ what is your favourite place at the hq? where do you spend your time off work?
๐โโ๏ธ โ how often do you exercise? whatโs your favourite sports activity?
๐ โ do you live at the dormitories or another place? where?
๐ช โ whatโs your relationship with your family? do you keep in touch?
๐ผ โ how was your childhood? do you have a favourite memory?
๐ฅ โ how do you feel about paperwork? do you like doing it?
๐ถ โ have you had any pets? do you have one right now?
๐ โ what did you major in? why?
๐จ โ how do you spend your free time? do you have any hobbies?
๐ก โ are you comfortable with talking about your past?ย
แดธ ย made by the admin team. to be reblogged by NISKRP members only.
ย ย ย as he stands there in front of doyoon's door, he reminds himself that it's not something he does often, or very often. there are just times when he is more prone to messing up, and it unfolds to be one of those nights. it was supposed to be a harmless night out with a few university friends, where they would have a few drinks, reminiscence about old days while taewon would continue to lie, and they would go on their merry ways. that's how most of the night went anyhow, a few harmless drinks, talking about things they have spoken numerous times before but still managing to let out a few laughs. alcohol always made things easier after all, such as laughing... and getting pissed off in a matter of seconds.
ย ย ย most of his friends had headed home already when he managed to bump into a man who was probably as drunk as him, and when the slurs reached his ears in an angry voice, could taewon really be the bigger man? not really. it's not like particularly cared, he was drunk enough, and he was mad enough. it didn't take him that long after the man was holding him up by the lapels, he just swung back and punched him right across the face, ignoring the stinging in his knuckles and reveling in the noise the punch made as it collided. what he didn't put into account was that the man was taller than him, and definitely more muscular, which ended up making it clear that he could pack a meaner punch than taewon himself. the next fifteen minutes didn't go all too well, but the weapons specialist was proud he still managed to get a few more punches and kicks in before someone broke them up and threatened to call the police. not wanting to get into actual trouble, taewon managed to get into a cab after the questionable stares, and gave the driver the address to his friendโs apartment.
ย ย ย yet another fifteen minutes later, he is in the elevator and steps out to the familiar floor, considerably less drunk now after the drive in the cab. the pain also sobered him up a little, but he only realizes how late it really is when he punches in the code for doyoon's condo. it's a few minutes past two am, and even though doyoon is probably asleep, taewon hopes he won't get mad at him for waking him up. with his track record for coming to med bay even with paper cuts, he is sure this is slightly more serious, and above all, taewon is genuinely in pain even though most of the blood on his face has dried already. he makes his way to the bedroom and turns on the lights, knocking against doorframe for a few seconds hoping to wake the doctor up.ย โhey dude โ can you patch me up โ- everything kinda... hurts right now.โ
ย ย ย hello hello ! *tears off the mask* itโs..... me again, ur girl kayย โ a quick retake, iโm 19, go by she/her pronouns and reside in the gmt+3 timezone. iโm always around on disc.rd, so u should def add me @ kay#5119 !ย this time iโm bringing you this spitfire LEE TAEWON, 30, who also simply goes by EON; he is an intelligence agent who specializes in weapons, loves making gadgets, and is usually Pretty Eccentric and is lowkey obsessed with his tech. he also has a little bit of a โ temperย โ, but he is working on it ? you can find his bio HERE and a wanted connections page right HERE. iโd absolutely love to do some plots, so pls donโt hesitate to hit me up, or hit the like โกย button below and iโll sliiiide into your dms ! before i ramble on anymore, you can find a summary of him under the cut โ-
โ he is left to an orphanage soon after birth, has no idea why. as a curious child, he never gets any replies to his questions, some are too hard for the teachers, some simply donโt have any answers, and it infuriates him from a young age. he lashes out, gets into fights, and is labelled as the residentย โtroublemakerโ
โ he is that kid with scratches all over his knees and bruises on his arms, not hesitating to pick many fights for whatever reason he deems necessary. he is outed in the way that not many people want to be friends with a troublemaker, that is, until doyoon comes to the orphanage as well and they hit it off really well.
โ child abuse tw: when he is 13, he is taken by a foster family for six months. they pay him no special care, and going back to his normal ways, taewon begins to cause trouble in the new school. their idea of punishment is much more painful than what he expects, and after a second incident, he runs out. after hours in the police station, he is accepted back into the orphanage.
โ he is angry again, angry at the fact that nothing has changed, that people are looking at him with pity this time. it takes him a while to get used to the environment back again, he is assigned psychologists he hates, people who keep asking him questions he doesnโt like. doyoon is a great help at making him realize he can leave it all behind, and he does just that. he buries the past six months and ignores them completely.
โ and then he has to grow up. doyoon leaves for university, and taewon knows he has to make something of himself too. so he studies hard and gets into a university in seoul, begins majoring in mechanical engineering. soon after, his professor tells him that he could double major if he wanted to, so he studies harder and majors in robotics as well.
โ four years spent in college is one of his favourite time periods in his life. he has a lot of fun, does what he actually enjoys. when his best friend needs to leave, it saddens him immensely but he is proud as well. when he is battling with finding a career, he asks to talk with one of his advisors, and they help him out โ he can work at a military research facility for the government, and that idea seems the best out of many.
โ he works there for three years, developing vehicles at first and then they switch to devices and weapons. itโs a challenging team with so many bright minds, but he enjoys his time there. that is until he is hit with the realization that they are being used, perhaps on innocent lives โ itโs a passing news on the tv, but it effects him, making him have second doubts.
โ it gets out in the open soon enough, and taewon tells his higher-ups that he isnโt sure if the research facility is the best place for him anymore. they tell him he can still work for the government but elsewhere, and nis comes into the picture. itโs a place where he can be much more creative, and even though itโs the lesser of two evils, taewon doesnโt mind it as much.
โ PERSONALITY: the spitfire is still a good label for him. after 3 yrs with the military and 6 yrs with nis, he has learned how to behave, but there are still some problems. if someone messes with him, he is too quick to react, but he usually lets it seethe now rather than doing something immediately. he is very work-oriented, and genuinely loves what he does, which is why he tries to stay out of trouble. itโs hard to befriend him, as he is quite blunt and direct at times, but once you are friends, you are friends for life.
ย ย ย i think thatโs it for now !! like i said, iโd love to do some plots & connections, so pls hit me up or like this and iโll message you instead !!ย ย โกโกโก
