pee pee pants city

Jeffrey Dean Morgan, a dad, an actor, a Seattle Seahawks fanboy. / Disclaimer, this is just a roleplay blog! P.S.  Unless stated otherwise, none of the gifs or photos used on this blog are mine (at the time of posting, content creators rules allow their media to be used). All credit goes to the respectable owners/creators. If something needs to be credited specifically or taken down, please message me politely and I will do so.

[numberoneneganapologist]

texting 📲 JDM

Billie: i don't know about that, haha

Billie: oh you will be? thanks, man

Billie: how would i even "get back out there" these days?

Jeff: Same way as always. Just say the word, we'll go out. Get you out there.

[numberoneneganapologist]

julimargs​:

I still actually think some people are a “bowl of shit” you know, in general, think there’s a more colour word for anyone who want’s to go beyond that. your girls’ onto something much bigger here, so’ i hope you gave her that extra candy eventually. Well’ less bowl of shit, more glass’s of whiskey as a possible peace offering for how much i miss your presence . Please tell me you’re not off being a total hunk on screen outside New York ? oh you know’ back on home soil, typing away in my office and taking a breather before the chaos of thanksgiving week’ where i’ll defiantly be needing more then a few glasses’s of anything. 

Some people are very bowl of shit, you’re right. You and her could team up and figure out what this whole thing means. It’s bowl of shit enterprises. I think that when she’s older, she’s gonna come up with some of the best goddamn swears anyone can imagine. She got the extra candy, don’t you worry about it. She sure as hell won’t be deprived of candy, being my kid. Let’s sit down and have some glasses of whiskey, yeah! Hey, I can’t give away any secrets. But at the moment, I’m being a hunk in the comfort of my own home. Aw, come on!!!! Thanksgiving is gonna be great. Think about the pie. The drinks and the pie. 

[numberoneneganapologist]

alittlebitofbliss​:

I am not surprised by this in the slightest. Why is it so funny when kids say bad words? It’s a sure fire way to make me laugh my ass off, especially if they struggle to say the word. Kids are fun. I take it they’re both doing well? I hope you are as well. I have a bit to go before my son is saying all the bad words that I can’t even bother trying to hold in. I guess it’s the curse of having the mouth of a trucker. Oops. 

Not surprised? Whaaaaat?! Well, I never recall giving one single goddamn reason why it wouldn’t be a big ol’ fuckin’ surprise. C’mon. I only whisper what the fuck to myself every ten minutes! They’re good, they’re doing really good, yeah. And I’m good, too. How’ve you been? Hey, you know, there’s way worse shit a kid can say than shit. In other words - Keep on truckin’!

[numberoneneganapologist]

jessiicalange​:

oh wow, little kids can be the funniest and with those  unexpected comments that as adult left you speechless, shocked and amused! it’s so funny when you want to laugh when you are not supposed to do it because you are the parent. i had a lot of these bad words phase with my kids when they were little, i think you managed really well. how old is your little girl? —you never get bored with kids at home uh?

Oh, yeah, they keep things interesting. That’ for sure. She’s four, and I have a twelve year old son, too. So it’s reaaal interesting, here. The animals keep things pretty interesting, too, though! There are a lot of animals. Can’t forget the animals. 

[numberoneneganapologist]

jcdethirlwcll​:

kids ‘ave a lot of emotions specially when it comes t’ there candy, for that holiday me niece is at that age too where she cares about her candy more than being nice t’ 'er brother!! i love parents that swear around their children, it’s your way of expressing yourself and it shows them not t’ be scared of using those words, they are just words after all. i would 'ave laughed too if me nephew said something like that!! now that is so funny t’ me and i don’t know why. i’m guessing she’s at a young age right? where 'she shouldn’t be swearing’ but learnt it from her parnets. I think you need t’ teach her better at swearing, my niece says fucked and it’s so funny, i laugh and me older brother gets mad 'cause i say it around her not intenionally but it just slips out. look at you being a decent parent!! i’m kidding you’re probably the best t’ them.

Yeah, yeah, I’d feel like I was being fake with my kids and keeping them from real life if I censored myself too much around them. There are things that I obviously wouldn’t talk about around them, but words are just words. She’s 4 now, so yeah, she’s pretty young. How old are your niece and nephew? They sound lie a goddamn riot, too. 

[numberoneneganapologist]

itssydneysweeney​:

bowl of shit? okay, that’s the cutest i’ve heard lately. i shouldn’t be encouraging this but i say you go teach her better words to swear. how old is she?

She’s four, now, so you know, I’ll forgive her for being bad at swearing this time. 

[numberoneneganapologist]

mikefcist​:

Ah sounds to me like parenting done right. At the end of the day, they’re gonna learn all the bad words sooner or later anyways right? Then I get that maybe you don’t want to be responsible for putting those words in to her calibre — but I think there are worse things one can do as a parent. Not to mention you taught her something from it too so, all good at the end of the day. It’s all about patience too right? Can imagine as a parent you must load up on plenty of it. You’re right. Maybe not watch your mouth so much — but at least let her know when it’s the right and wrong times to use such words and I’m sure both of you will be fine and you won’t have to have all the curse words at inappropriate times resting on your shoulders.

Yeah, yeah, I like the approach to parenting where I don’t keep shit from them that they’re inevitably going to learn. My kids will swear sometimes, and as long as it’s not being used to bring someone down, I don’t care too much.. as long as it’s not too much. A small dose of profanity never hurt anyone. Sometimes the best thing to say is fuck. Everyone stubs their toes. Yeah, they know all about appropriate and about reading your audience, they absolutely know that. You have some good insight, man. Were you a kid that swore a lot or something? 

[numberoneneganapologist]

rossshorlynch-hf​:

I would not have been able to hold my composure either if that would have happened to me. Kids are so unpredictable and just brutally honest; you never know what they’re going to say and I think that’s what draws me to them. 

Yeah, right? Kids are the coolest. And not to brag, but my kids are theeee coolest, man. Always saying shit like it is. 

[numberoneneganapologist]

akcnishi​:

It’s the best way to express yourself. For real? Where in Japan did he live? You can swear, but we don’t really have specific cuss words. Not really, anyway. It’s more about tone and circumstance. More how you say things, as opposed to what you say, most of the time. We tend to insult, more than anything. And even that can be considered affectionate, depending on how you’re saying it, and who you’re saying it to. Certain things are lost in translation as well. Close in age to my two older kiddos. My daughter calls me baka at times, but I can’t even be mad, since it was part of my nickname for the longest time. Always plotting against me, I swear to fuck. 

No idea, man, noooo idea. It was a long ass time ago. But he has a lot of good things to say about the whole culture over there. That makes a lot of sense. I guess that’s how I look at the cuss words in English, too. Tone matters, doesn’t it? I mean, obviously I can say, “Oh shit,” and it means I’m irritated, but I can also say it because I’m surprised and touched by something. What’s baka mean?

[numberoneneganapologist]

alivelyblake​:

That’s super freaking adorable! I know, the girls went absolutely crazy when Ryan and I took their candy and said that they can’t eat it all at once. Ryan and I try not to swear around the kids, but if we accidentally let one out, we quickly look to see if any of the girls are around and hope they don’t catch on.

Yeah? I think that’s the way a lot of parents approach, that’s cool, that’s fine. I don’t really watch my mouth around my kids. They have good heads on their shoulders. Never would hurt anyone’s feelings on purpose. That’s the most important to me. But bowl of shit? That’s going right on my list of favorite swears. Bowl of shit. Yeah. I like that one. 

[numberoneneganapologist]

texting 📲 JDM

Billie: yeah? like.. i've been so busy with the band and shit that it didn't hit that i'm single til like two years after my divorce, lmfao

Billie: i never had an upset moment, just was lost in work and now i'm like 'alright, life's still good and so am i'

Jeff: Awwww, man!!! Get back out there!

Jeff: I'll be your wingman.

[numberoneneganapologist]

lopez-colby​:

This is my wife every day. I’m not as bad as she is with it but I admit she has gotten better since Roux was born. That sounds freakin’ adorable and I would have laughed to if Roux did that. I think you’re doing a great job with her.

Ahhh, thanks, man. It was pretty goddamn cute, I can’t lie. If you’re actually watching your mouth, you might be doing a little better, I don’t know.

[numberoneneganapologist]

bostonboyevans​:

Responsible swearing? Don’t tell Jade I said this but I admire you dude. If it’s not pointed at someone I mean, it’s kinda funny hearing little kids saying it when they don’t know what it means right? It never fails to make me laugh at least. How old is your daughter? Halloween is always a crazy time for kids but I guess that’s the magic of it, it wouldn’t be the same without seeing kids going nuts over their candy and seeing what cool shit they get trick or treating. 

Oh, man. I always wanted to have kids before I did, and let them swear as long as they were really, really fucking polite. Like I had this image in my head of a kid saying, “Could you please pass the fucking salt? Thank you so goddamn much,” but this will suffice. For sure. My little girl’s 4, she’s got a brother who’s 12. I love ‘em more than I ever knew I could love a person. Bowl of shit insults and all.

[numberoneneganapologist]

kvcnte​:

that is kind of funny, actually! my little cousins pick up on swear words too, or they just get really sassy. i remember when my little cousin was asked to throw something out; he threw it at his mom and she asked him if she looked like the recycling and he went “yeah, because you’re trash” and that was when i knew that little kids should not be online. kids just say the wildest things. 

There’s no filter, no holding back. I can’t help but respect it.

[numberoneneganapologist]

akcnishi​:

That’s one thing that always shocks people to learn about me—that I don’t swear in front of my kids. Technically, it’s because we don’t really have cuss words in Japan, per se, but even in English, I try not to cuss in front of them. I was a fucking nightmare as a kid, swearing at every opportunity, and I don’t really want them to pick up too many of my bad habits. Bit too late for that, but ey, what ya gonna do? At least it was only shit, right? Could’ve been worse. She could’ve hit you with the C word, really knocked it outta the park. How old is she? My youngest is coming up 2 months, and my other two are 5 and 10 years old. They defy me, 24/7, just to get a rise outta me. I’m onto them. 

I’m gonna be honest, I get a little kick out of her swearing. Not gonna lie about it. One of my best friends lived in Japan for a little bit, I wonder how he worked around not being able to swear in Japanese. I’m gonna be asking him about that one, and I’ll get back to you. Alright, alright, I might tell her to slow her roll if she hits me with that word. You’re right. My little girl’s 4 and my son’s 12 now. So I hear a lot more cussing from him. Ha. Yeah, you can definitely expect that kinda shit from a 5 and 10 year old. They’re definitely plotting against you. 

[numberoneneganapologist]

knightsawsten​:

i’m not a dad, hell, i’m not even in a relationship, but yet, i can’t fucking wait for my sailor’s mouth that pissing off my mom to rub off on my kids so they can cuss me out. i know i’ll laugh my ass off. however, glad all worked out with your daughter and i hope she improves on the swearing and also knows there’s a time and place.. then once you’re older you stop giving a shit or something of that nature. with my mouth, i’m seriously not one to speak on when it is or isn’t okay to swear.

The way I see it is that my kids are good people, and that matters more than any words they might say. Like, if they wanna say shit when they stub their toe, then alright, let them. If I’m being a dick and they wanna call me an asshole, or in this case, a bowl of shit, alright. Because I know that if they saw someone that needed help, they’d help. I know they’re good kids. Swearing being “bad” has never made sense to me. Me and you, once you’re a dad, should start a movement of letting kids swear. I think it could be a big deal.

[numberoneneganapologist]

iMessage || Alycia & Jeff

Alycia: your faith in me is admirable. just promise if i start to slow you down you'll let me hang out with the alpacas so i don't get in the way.

Alycia: oh, baby you had me at 'coffee's already brewing', but we both know i'm gonna need a little more encouragement than that, especially with the promise of her head between my thighs.

Alycia: ofc there is. on the ceiling too, for future reference.

Jeff: You never let me down once in your almost thirty years of life. Granted I've only known you for a few of those. But you still never let me down. Gotta be onto something! That's probably some kinda record.

Jeff: I don't wanna diminish the coffee's bravado, or anything, baby, but damn... hands on thighs, heads between thighs. You're not gonna wanna leave. I'm gonna be so good to you while I got you.

Jeff: Whoa! Okay. We could have a good fucking time in that hotel room.