Thoughts

Things.. Just things

[nuubu]

It’s been a while

Wow, 4 years huh, and i see how lazy I got to even bother updating this. Maybe I should leave a message for future me.

[nuubu]

To Love

Love can be so complicated, yet it's so simple when I'm helping someone else with it.. I still remember thr first day I saw her. Her skin glowed in the sunlight and her eyes were filled with mystery, like they were calling out to me to find out everything about her. The first time I heard her voice, it was like God himself sent angels down to sing for an undeserving mortal like me. The only thing I regret is never being able to tell her how I feel and exactly how beautiful she is to me. Every night the moon is out, I asked it how she was. I never get an answer and I hope she was alright and isn't as lonely as I was. Every moment I talk to her, I can't help but ask myself, would I ever be the one? The one to be let into that precious heart. The one who would accompany her in her worst and finest hours. Do I love her? Yes, and that's what will kill me. The day she leaves is the day my heart freezes over. I am still lost in love, and only in her is where I can find myself.

[nuubu]

The people who are so complicated are what makes my day a whole lot more interesting. They’re the highlights of my days, and figuring them out is always something I love doing no matter how frustrating it gets. Human conundrums.

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Lazyaf

Being lazy is so borinf, but it makes the bed 1000x more attractive. Dunno what to post about hehe.

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We're separated in different groups, but I promise, I will never see you guys differently. In my heart, you're all my friends whatever these people say. I hope you're staying strong as I am right now, okay?

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Remembered.

This week has been.. taxing on my physical and mental capacity. Even after this week, I expect more predicaments. So I have completely forgotten about this blog, my bad, even though I’m pretty much only have been writing for myself. I started this believing I can improve on expressing my emotions in text, improving my sentence composition and frequently use words I scarcely use.

On a side note, I recently found Restaurant City up and running once again! It’s fan made, but it makes me happy, I played that game everyday years ago.. 

[nuubu]

Focus

I’ve learned more on what I want to be, and so far, I think I’ll be taking BS Psychology or maybe Computer Science. I’m hoping I’ll find the best way to focus on what I need to study, though I feel kind of close to finding it. One day, there will be no more distractions. I have to be successful for myself, and when I am, I will be able to make the people I love happy

[nuubu]

Expectations..

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't do that. I'm sorry I can't learn this as fast as you think I can. I am trying so hard to make you proud but I fall victim to almosts too. I can fall short on achieving something and that makes me so depressed, because what I do is just not enough. It never is fucking enough. And you wonder why I'm so distant from you guys most of the time.

[nuubu]

Time for chiilllll

FINALLY my exams are over! I can do more shits now. So recently we've been playing a lot of billiards.. We suck but it's fun af. Nothing really interesting to log buut I HAVE been rewatching Breaking Bad tho.

[nuubu]

someone else

Am I the only one who gets the feeling like he’s becoming a different person? I always get the feeling when I change. Almost like The Doctor regenerating.. hehe. It’s weird, but it’s good. Change is good. He’s-a coming. :)

This is kinda short, but I’m pulling an all-nighter to help my ‘lil sis. Though she’s not really my sister, but I see her that way though.

[nuubu]

My Impossible Girl

So a question popped into my mind.. How would I describe the person who I call My Impossible Girl? You might already know what I mean about impossible girl heh.. Maybe somewhere along these lines:

She is an enigma. A puzzle where every time I fit two pieces together, four more appear. I love that about her. She has the most entrancing eyes I’ve seen. She has a smile I just can’t get away from. Her hair reminds me of the inky black sky I always stare into. A kindness and an intelligence that I’ll rarely find. She’s strong and it breaks my heart when she cries. She is so important to me, more than she will ever know. She makes up half of what I fight for.

I can’t tell her any of this because I wouldn’t want to scare her away. She’s one of my most precious friends. I hate losing those. But there will come a time where I’ve found the right words to say at the right moment.

[nuubu]

Doing what now

Memorizing is easy, but getting motivated to memorize something I need to memorize is more difficult than if I actually wanted to memorize it. lel.

Didn’t really learn anything new for a while, except how Assassin’s Creed interpreted history.. I started watching Daredevil and it IS as awesome as I expected  it to be.

I’ve been thinking, if there was someone who reviewed people’s lives, I’d probably get a 2.5/5 ;-;

Now to find things to make my life a ‘lil bit more exciting and possibly easier.

[nuubu]

douevenblogm8

After three days of barely any sleep, I finally have been able to get proper rest. Nothing much to do today.. Maybe I’ll read up on random things or explore Reddit, maybe I’ll learn a thing or two.

[nuubu]

Tired af

I’ve just had 30 minute naps in the last two days, and I’m tired af. Weekend is finally coming up and I can get the sleep I need.

Fixing things have been a habit lately. Tech mostly. And I’m thinking of starting a knife collection, but I think that’s going to be an expensive hobby. Slowly but surely I’m getting my shit together finally.

Re-watched “Don’t Stay in School” by Boyinaband and I have a lot of self studying to do heh. 

[nuubu]

Wub wub

Here I am again.. I spend so much time helping the people I deeply care about that I forget to put time for myself. I’m not exactly sure that putting others before myself is the best constant choice I make. Buuut might as well fill up that karma bank. :>

--rant--

Anyway.. I went to class today trying to keep positive. But there’s just people who refuse to grow up and dismiss the annoying comments on every fucking class. Sure, maybe they went through some things, and I am really considering all the possible variables on as to why they’re like that. I just wish that they realize some people actually want to listen, and the noise gets irritating. The constant bullying on students and some teachers are really alarming. Fine, call me sensitive, but I can take all kinds of shit, but it irks me to see other people taking the heat. I can’t deny bullying creates great people, and bullying will never disappear in my lifetime.

--rant over--

[nuubu]

Just Do It!

I have been thinking of how I interact with people. I think I spend so much time figuring them out and how they work and what they feel, that I’m forgetting that I should be putting out a positive energy around them and look more approachable. Yeah, I’m going to maybe have a difficult time getting out of that weird habit. Starting to have a more “fuck it” attitude would help. Not the “fuck it” attitude where I do stupid af shit, of course I would consider if what I’m about to do is fine and won’t ruin my life lol. Really just stop over analyzing or over thinking about things and just do it. It would have helped me in the past having that kind of mindset. Shout out to JKNews ‘cuz their videos help me think of how I can live a better life.

[nuubu]

Dreams

Lately the dreams I’ve been having are so vivid that I believe they actually happened. Today I woke up thinking I had a big performance coming up and I was completely unprepared.. It took me five minutes to realize it was just a dream and I did not just stupidly schedule a performance where I completely ignored it for weeks.