NYC Bike Psycho

I hate cars, trucks, and most native NYers

[nge-jung-blog]

I see people in cars speeding, running red lights, running stop signs, using cell phones while driving, not yielding to pedestrians, not yielding to bikes, not using turn signals… EVERY DAY. Every single day I work, I see someone almost get hit by a careless driver. Last week I saw a 5 year old child almost get mowed down by an SUV, in a cross walk, holding his father’s hand, when they had the walk signal. Dad stopped and screamed at him, and it freaked me out because I can think of 3 children who died that way in the past year in NYC. But this is what the city and NYPD are choosing to focus on. Ticketing cyclists for slow rolling through stop signs and not having bells. #VisionZero #ZeroVision #bikenyc

[nybycho-blog]

Get Da Fuck Outta Da Street!

NYC cyclists have heard this a million times. You’re riding where you’re fucking supposed to be, where you by law have to be, and cars are honking and revving and the drivers are yelling for you to get da fuck awffa da road asswhooole. Some painted-on beard plucked-eyebrow tribal-tattoo idiot who nonetheless fancies himself rather masculine in a car-clubbed Civic absolutely fucking MUST go 1 mph faster than you to make it in time to the next stop sign. 

And sometimes it’s not even when you’re in their way at all. Suddenly New Yorkers, usually so proud to heave their lunch wrappers over their shoulder into the streets, find civic feeling when it involves making someone on a bike know just what their fat sauce-stained slob ass thinks of people doing even incidental exercise by way of transportation. Like the pig in that huge ConEd van on 6th Avenue that one time who was honking and yelling at me to get out of the left traffic lane and into the bike lane -- at that moment completely clogged with pedestrians, mind you -- while going SLOWER than I was at that moment, and in another fucking lane. This piece of human garbage was so offended by the sight of someone less fat than he was, someone slightly less likely to drop dead of an infarction at 52 in Fresh Kills while choking on his mamma’s meatbawls, that he felt the need to lecture me on traffic laws on his way to shut off some poor family’s electricity. If he didn’t then speed up to like 50mph when the light turned green, I’d have taken his truck number down and tried to get him reprimanded at work, since these utility-union dirtbags can’t be fired unless they’re actually heading to prison and maybe not even then.

Yes, he did literally speed up to 50mph or so -- ok maybe 45 -- because the million lanes of 6th Avenue in Midtown were EMPTY. I mean, of cars. They were buzzing with bicycles trying not to get murdered by cabs and absolutely exploding with pedestrians. Please note when I say the peds were clogging the bike lane that I am not blaming them. New York City has given them a minuscule sliver of concrete to walk down, like ants, on which they physically cannot be contained and so they have to walk in the bike lanes. This is not a fight between cyclists and pedestrians. It’s one between us and the motor vehicles, the ones with 80% of the rest of the roadway.

Charge cars $100 to enter Manhattan, or ban them unless they are residents or delivery vehicles. Cabs should cost $10 a block, I mean fucking walk or bike or take a bus or a train, you entitled shitbag, it’s New York City.

[nybycho-blog]

Trucks and other killers

So you think the cost of the shit you buy in this city would go up if trucks had to unload at depots at the city’s borders and use much smaller vehicles to deliver goods to stores? Well here’s part of your discount, jerk: 36% of bicycle and  12.3% of pedestrian fatalities in NYC are thanks to trucks. Trucks are only 3.6% of city traffic. If trucks were an ethnicity, Corona guidos would be calling for concentration camps. Instead, we’re getting a lame sort of stop-and-frisk for these juggernauts of death: side guards, and only for city trucks. I mean, good. But also, seriously ban all these fucking trucks. Nothing bigger than those small delivery vans in this city.

http://www1.nyc.gov/office-of-the-mayor/news/101-15/city-begins-installing-truck-sideguards-protect-pedestrians-cyclists

[transalt]

Hey, Liberal!

I have always been a utilitarian cyclist; I ran my painting, plastering and renovation contracting business with a bike and trailer, never having bought a truck. As I rode home from a job I had finished on the Upper West Side with my trailer fully loaded with tools and four ladders on a rolling luggage carrier bungeed to it - my rig was about 14 feet long - I stopped for the light at Central Park South before proceeding down 7th Avenue. A van full of cops pulled up behind me at the light and one got on the loudspeaker: “Hey, liberal, where do you think you are, China?”

[nybycho-blog]

Cops, the worst kind of native slobberino.

[themeanmrmustard]

Why we leave the bike lane… And yes, it’s legal!

[nybycho-blog]

Maspeth

Here I am in Queens, sitting at a Dunkin Donuts waiting for the shop to call me to say my car is finished being inspected (haha yes! I have a car. This will make my opinions more valid to some idiots). Already seen three cars run a red light. A block from a huge school. As I type, a car is turning right as an old man with a cane hobbles in the crosswalk, and the car comes within 6 inches of this old dude. The light is turning yellow now, which means the last three cars that could blow through before the light is “hard” red are revving and speeding up to like 40mph. It’s ok awffisah, they didn’t know the speed limit was 25. Das like, crazy slow.

[nybycho-blog]

Hi

I hate cars and the native NYers who love them, the slobs. I’ll be posting here mostly to vent my frustration at the Grand Theft Auto that is NYC, the city that claims the greatest mass transit in the country but in which we still have 8-lane asphalt troughs of speeding tanks slicing through the densest parts of the center of the city. Fucking right.