Jesse St.James

Jesse St.James||21||Student Ohio's very own prodigy has finally arrived in NYC! After three years at Berklee, I decided Julliard is the place I needed to complete my studies. Composition major and waiter over at The Spotlight Diner 1x1 RP blog

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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Jesse wrapped his arm around her as she rested her head on his shoulder. “I won’t stop feeling this way about you, no matter where we are, babe.” He sighed at her words, shaking his head. “So enjoying right now is out of the question then?” He hated how her already short stay had been made even shorter in his head as the two of them were basically counting down the days. “First of all, I’ll take you to the airport if you want? Secondly, I know it’s hard, it’s hard for me too. But I’m only ever a call away, Rach. I’ll always be around if you need me, even if it is just over FaceTime..”

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“I hope not, you’re the best thing to come into my life for a long time. Nothing makes me as happy as you do, not even performing on Broadway.” Turning to look at him, Rachel shook her head, “No, of course it’s not out of the question, it’s just hard knowing I have to leave soon.” At his offer to take her to the airport, she shook her head, “When you have to say goodbye it’ll make me cry, I don’t think that doing it in an airport full of people is something either of us need ending up on line.” Nodding her head she knew he was right, but it was hard because seeing him and hearing his voice made her want more. Leaning in she kissed him, her fingers brushing his cheek. “So, if we’re enjoying now, does that mean we need to spend the new few days locked in my hotel room only getting out of bed to use the bathroom and get room service?”

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"I feel the same about you, gorgeous." Jesse wanted to argue but he knew it was true, the two of them being emotional in public was unnecessary if it could be avoided. "Okay.. I guess I'll just have to give you an extra special goodbye before you leave then?" He was more than happy to respond to her kiss, smiling against her lips."That is a great idea. Though honestly, baby, it doesn't matter where we are. Being anywhere with you is a great way to spend a day."

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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“Kick a few asses, huh?” Jesse chuckled, the idea far more amusing than she probably meant it to be. “That sounds like something I have to see.” The movie was far from his mind at this point, just wanting to make sure he hadn’t upset her. “Hey…” He cupped her cheek with his hand, wanting her to face him. “I’m not saying never. In fact, I’m not even saying not in the near future. I just think it’s a little early to be talking about it right now.” He moved so their faces were only an inch apart. “Let’s just enjoy now, yeah? Because right now you’re here, making this city feel like home, and I’m loving every second of it.”

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“Yes, there’s still a lot about me you don’t know St. James.” Which was true, they’d been back in each others lives for a blink of a eye in comparison to how long they’d been apart, both had grown up and there were so many things about the other they didn’t know. His touch made her close her eyes, but as she turned her face towards him she opened them again. His words brought a lump to her throat and she closed her eyes, fighting back tears as he pressed their foreheads together. Slowly she nodded her head, shifting after to rest her head upon his shoulder, pizza forgotten for a moment. Rachel was glad that she could make London feel like home for him, but New York, her home, felt so empty without him. “I just don’t want this feeling to end,” she said softly, “And it will, the moment I get in that cab to the airport.. nothing will feel this good again… not for a long time.”

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Jesse wrapped his arm around her as she rested her head on his shoulder. "I won't stop feeling this way about you, no matter where we are, babe." He sighed at her words, shaking his head. "So enjoying right now is out of the question then?" He hated how her already short stay had been made even shorter in his head as the two of them were basically counting down the days. "First of all, I'll take you to the airport if you want? Secondly, I know it's hard, it's hard for me too. But I'm only ever a call away, Rach. I'll always be around if you need me, even if it is just over FaceTime.."

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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“If you want to?” Jesse shrugged, not really caring either way. He still felt like he hadn’t put her at ease, but he didn’t really know what else to do about it. Instead he tried to lighten the mood, shooting her a smile before moving a little closer. “Or I could just watch you all night? I mean, you’re the only girl I know who can still take my breath away while eating take out..”

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Reaching for the remote Rachel started the movie, glancing over at him at the comment. She knew he was trying to be charming, but his words had hurt her before… she would try to hide it thought. “I’d better be, a playful yet warning edge to her voice, “Otherwise there would be trouble. I’ve been known to kick a few asses.”

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"Kick a few asses, huh?" Jesse chuckled, the idea far more amusing than she probably meant it to be. "That sounds like something I have to see." The movie was far from his mind at this point, just wanting to make sure he hadn't upset her. "Hey..." He cupped her cheek with his hand, wanting her to face him. "I'm not saying never. In fact, I'm not even saying not in the near future. I just think it's a little early to be talking about it right now." He moved so their faces were only an inch apart. "Let's just enjoy now, yeah? Because right now you're here, making this city feel like home, and I'm loving every second of it."

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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Jesse shrugged and took a bite of his slice, resting his arm over the back of the sofa as relaxed back into his spot. “If we moved in together…” He shook his head, not entirely sure of what to say. Her lack of response before had let him know that he’d answered wrongly. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be with her as often as possible, it just didn’t seem practical at this point in their relationship. “You’d have to put up with my messy ways, I hog the shower, I cook meat all the time… I spend the majority of my free time watching trashy TV in my boxers and I’m at my piano until around 2am most nights"

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Silently she picked up a slice for herself and took a bite, listening to him as he spoke. If only Jesse knew that his words were digging him into a larger hole. To Rachel the words didn’t say not now, they were a run of excuses he was making because he never wanted to live with her. Another never in a list of nevers. Grabbing her drink, Rachel took a couple of mouthfuls of her wine, why did she have to fall in love with someone who would never fully commit? “Are we watching the movie?”

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"If you want to?" Jesse shrugged, not really caring either way. He still felt like he hadn't put her at ease, but he didn't really know what else to do about it. Instead he tried to lighten the mood, shooting her a smile before moving a little closer. "Or I could just watch you all night? I mean, you're the only girl I know who can still take my breath away while eating take out.."

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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Jesse listened as she spoke, not entirely sure how to take what she was saying. “You want us to live in a London houseshare with dancers and actors..?” He knew that wasn’t what she meant, but quirked his brow nonetheless, moving to sit beside her again. “A few days jumping between my apartment and your hotel room is hardly the same as living together would be.. We’d probably drive each other crazy if we did something like that this early in our relationship, beautiful.” Opening the pizza box, he took a slice and shrugged, keen to change the subject. “Now. Did you really want me to feed you or..?”

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That wasn’t what Rachel had meant, and she was sure he knew that. His dismissal and saying it was too soon upset her but she didn’t let it show. Obviously she wanted and felt more about them than he did, at least that was how she felt. Rachel loved him, she’d come all the way to London to spend time with him.. maybe it was too soon? Maybe she felt too much to deeply? Sitting up so he cold sit down, Rachel reached for a piece of pizza, “No, it’s fine, I know you’re probably too hungry for that.”

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Jesse shrugged and took a bite of his slice, resting his arm over the back of the sofa as relaxed back into his spot. “If we moved in together…” He shook his head, not entirely sure of what to say. Her lack of response before had let him know that he’d answered wrongly. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be with her as often as possible, it just didn’t seem practical at this point in their relationship. “You’d have to put up with my messy ways, I hog the shower, I cook meat all the time… I spend the majority of my free time watching trashy TV in my boxers and I’m at my piano until around 2am most nights"

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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“I doubt it’d last very long. We both know you don’t do well with not being able to touch me in situations like that.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I should have known.” Jesse made quick work of getting the food, hardly even acknowledging the delivery guy as he grabbed the boxes and paid. He’d been hungry for a while, but now the food was here he couldn’t really say he was all that hungry, not for food anyway. He placed the boxes down on the table when he returned to his apartment, grinning as he saw her on the couch. “Why are you thinking about, beautiful?”

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Snorting she shook her head, “I think it’s the other way around. You can’t cope for long without touching me.” The truth was they were as bad as one another, no matter how close they were to one another they liked to touch someway, even if it was just their little fingers. There had to be some kind of contact. Out the corner of her eye she noticed him round the couch but didn’t move, an amused smile playing on her lips, but his question made her smile soften. “I was thinking about you, about us.. about this.” She waved her hand a little, “It’s as close to living with someone as I’ve come to and I.. I can’t help but want this for us.”

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Jesse listened as she spoke, not entirely sure how to take what she was saying. "You want us to live in a London houseshare with dancers and actors..?" He knew that wasn't what she meant, but quirked his brow nonetheless, moving to sit beside her again. "A few days jumping between my apartment and your hotel room is hardly the same as living together would be.. We'd probably drive each other crazy if we did something like that this early in our relationship, beautiful." Opening the pizza box, he took a slice and shrugged, keen to change the subject. "Now. Did you really want me to feed you or..?"

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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“I don’t need to go with you to the gym to see you get all hot and bothered, babe. I wouldn’t even have to move from this spot actually..” He wiggled his brow suggestively, trying to stop himself from laughing. Jesse glanced back at her as he reached the door, narrowing his eyes as he caught her checking him out. “Some times I feel like you only want me for my good looks, Berry. Not that I blame you, I do look extremely handsome a hundred percent of the time.”

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Rachel laughed softly, “Is that so? Because that sounds like a challenge. You standing where you are, getting me all hot and bothered sitting where I am right now. We should try it sometime.” A smile broke out on her face as he cause her and she shrugged her shoulders, “That, your hair and your ability to make me scream your name,” she ducked her head a little at that, her cheeks reddening just a little. While she waited for him to get the food, Rachel stretched out on the couch, her fingers resting on her flat stomach and she let her mind wander at just how amazing it would actually be if the two of them lived together, with their schedules it hadn’t been easy seeing one another, but that would make things better. There was also the added bonus of falling asleep in his arms and waking up with him there too.

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"I doubt it'd last very long. We both know you don't do well with not being able to touch me in situations like that." He laughed, shaking his head. "I should have known." Jesse made quick work of getting the food, hardly even acknowledging the delivery guy as he grabbed the boxes and paid. He'd been hungry for a while, but now the food was here he couldn't really say he was all that hungry, not for food anyway. He placed the boxes down on the table when he returned to his apartment, grinning as he saw her on the couch. "Why are you thinking about, beautiful?"

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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“There are a few gyms around here that don’t need memberships. Though l’m not at all saying that I want you to get up at 6..” Jesse quirked his brow when she straddled him, leaning into her touch a little as she messed with his hair. “There’s not many things I won’t do when you ask me like that.” His hands moved from his side to pull her closer, smirking up at her. “I love having you here with me…” Jesse was pretty sure he could sit like this with her for hours, and if it wasn’t for the sound of his apartment buzzer he definitely would have considered it. Letting out a sigh, he gave Rachel a quick kiss before slipping off of the couch and walking towards the door. “Try not to miss me too much, yeah?

“Are you sure about that? You could come with me and watch me get all hot and sweaty,” she laughed softly, shaking her head. When he leaned into her touch, Rachel couldn’t help but smile at him, her eyes taking him in. “I love being here with you,” she said softly, moving to lean in and kiss him, only to end up groaning when the buzzer sounded and he moved her from his lap. “I hate to see you go,” she said, turning over to look at him, her eyes lowering down his body, “But I love watching you leave.”

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"I don't need to go with you to the gym to see you get all hot and bothered, babe. I wouldn't even have to move from this spot actually.." He wiggled his brow suggestively, trying to stop himself from laughing. Jesse glanced back at her as he reached the door, narrowing his eyes as he caught her checking him out. "Some times I feel like you only want me for my good looks, Berry. Not that I blame you, I do look extremely handsome a hundred percent of the time."

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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“Mhm, so are you… I’m just grateful that here, without your obnoxiously loud alarm waking us up every time we sleep together, I get to actually see you sleeping for longer than a second.” Rachel was far more of a morning person than him and it was rare for him to wake up before her back home. He couldn’t deny that he loved getting to see her so relaxed without school or shows to worry about, though he knew that this was more of a short vacation for her and soon she’d be back in NYC, working as hard as she always does. “No, I ordered Pizza, our hands should suffice. Maybe a glass each?”

Grabbing a couple of glasses, Rachel moves back to where Jesse was sitting and set the glasses on the table before turning to face him. “If I had a chance to visit one of the gyms here, you know I’d be up at 6am as usual.” Instead she was going for a run when Jesse was working. Sitting on his lap so she was straddling him, Rachel ran her fingers through his hair, smiling gently as she looks into his eyes. “Hands hmmm? Are you going to feed me?”

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“There are a few gyms around here that don’t need memberships. Though l’m not at all saying that I want you to get up at 6..” Jesse quirked his brow when she straddled him, leaning into her touch a little as she messed with his hair. “There’s not many things I won’t do when you ask me like that.” His hands moved from his side to pull her closer, smirking up at her. “I love having you here with me…” Jesse was pretty sure he could sit like this with her for hours, and if it wasn’t for the sound of his apartment buzzer he definitely would have considered it. Letting out a sigh, he gave Rachel a quick kiss before slipping off of the couch and walking towards the door. “Try not to miss me too much, yeah?

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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Jesse loved the affect he seemed to have on her, his smirk anything but subtle as she pouted. “I know, though it’s cool to know you watch me wile I sleep, baby. Not that I blame you.” He glanced at his watch before shrugging, trying to remember wen they’d ordered the food. “It should be here in the next ten minutes or so. Oh yeah? Hungry for what exactly?” he moved a little closer again, shooting her a wink.

Shoving him gently, Rachel pouted. Oh how he loved to tease her, and he was so good at it too. “Well you’re slightly cute when you sleep, sue me.” Laughing softly she leaned her head back on his shoulder, huffing out a sigh when he said the food would be another ten minutes. She was hungry, it’d been a long day and she wanted food. Rolling her eyes at his comment, Rachel stood up and headed towards the kitchen area “Will we need plates and cutlery?”

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"Mhm, so are you... I'm just grateful that here, without your obnoxiously loud alarm waking us up every time we sleep together, I get to actually see you sleeping for longer than a second." Rachel was far more of a morning person than him and it was rare for him to wake up before her back home. He couldn't deny that he loved getting to see her so relaxed without school or shows to worry about, though he knew that this was more of a short vacation for her and soon she'd be back in NYC, working as hard as she always does. "No, I ordered Pizza, our hands should suffice. Maybe a glass each?"

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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Melting into his arms, she let a soft whimper escape her lips, pouting just a little when he pulled back. Yes, tonight was about them having quality time together, but when he kissed her like that it was as if nothing else mattered. “You don’t snore either,” she told him, a small smile playing on her lips, “Just in case you were wondering.” Her gaze followed his to the kitchen, stomach growling softly in response, “How ling did they say food was going to be? Watching you work today made me very hungry.”

Jesse loved the affect he seemed to have on her, his smirk anything but subtle as she pouted. “I know, though it’s cool to know you watch me wile I sleep, baby. Not that I blame you.” He glanced at his watch before shrugging, trying to remember wen they’d ordered the food. “It should be here in the next ten minutes or so. Oh yeah? Hungry for what exactly?” he moved a little closer again, shooting her a wink.

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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Rachel didn’t speak, she leaned in and pressed her lips to his, letting her emotions tell him how she felt. How much she loved and wanted them to be together, no matter where they were.  “Jesse,” she groaned and closed her eyes, “Don’t be mean, I don’t snore.” If she snored her ex would have told her, he’d probably have woken her up and given her crap about it. Slowly she shook her head at him, “Not lazy, this is just better use of our time together. Do we really want to spend it slaving over a hot stove when we could be cuddled up together like this?”

Unlike with first kiss, Jesse didn’t let it end, deepening the kiss just a little . It seemed like their kisses always seemed to say what words couldn’t and tonight was no exception. He knew how easy it was for him to get carried away around Rachel though and that wasn’t what tonight was about,  half tempted to recreate what had happened the first time they had kissed like this before he caught himself and pulled back. “You don’t snore, no. Though I wouldn’t be any less crazy about you if you did, gorgeous... You do sleep talk just a little.” He shrugged, looking over at the kitchen and then back at the girl in his arms. “There are very few things I want to do more than cuddling up with you, so that’d be a no.”

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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“If I didn’t have school..” Listening to him talk, Rachel felt a wave of emotions wash over her. She loved him and it scared her, she’d never felt like this about anyone but her feelings for Jesse were so consuming. It was insane and amazing and so many other things. She wished the kiss lasted longer, but tonight wasn’t a night for them to be getting hot and heavy, they were relaxing and enjoying one anothers company. Thankful that he’d continued talking, Rachel just cuddled against him, but her eyes narrowed at his words, “I don’t snore,” she said and slapped his arm playfully, “And there’s food on the way.”

“But you do... I’ll come visit you in a month or so, the first chance I get baby, I promise. I wont be away from you a second longer than I have to.” Jesse knew it’d be hard to get the time off, but he’d work something out, knowing the second she left he’d be desperate to see her again. He let out a laugh as she cuddled against him, resting his cheek on her head. “How would you know? You could snore like a train and have no idea.” If he was being honest, he’d completely forgotten about food, but he was looking forward to it. “Mhm, it’s so lazy of us to order in when we’ve got a kitchen just there.”

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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Rachel shook her head, “So, London isn’t Broadway, but it has the West End, I could have come and worked here for a few months and…” Her bottom lip started to tremble, “But is it? Would it have been so bad to have a childhood, to do all those things a teenage girl should have? I throw myself into my work so I don’t have to face anything I’m feeling because it’s easier, or I thought it was. Before you came back into my life. I know how lost I felt before when I left Ohio, I hate that I feel that way now with you here and me in New York..” She looked down, “And I’m scared you’ll forget me.” Nodding her head, Rachel leaned in to kiss him, “I wont let you leave my side for the whole first week you come back.” Settling down onto his arms she smiled a little, reaching for a blanket even though she wasn’t cold, and snuggled against him. 

“You have school. That’s far more important.” As much as he wanted her with him he knew there was no way that could happen.“Rach... Look, the past is the past, okay? Right here, right now we have each other, so I wouldn’t change anything. We’re both doing what we always dreamed we would, there’s no time for regret.” He shook his head again, lifting her chin up to look at her. “I could never forget you, I never have.” He responded to the kiss, smirking at her words. “I have no problem with that, beautiful.” Jesse got the film sorted before relaxing into the couch. “I have a strong feeling you’re going to fall asleep and start snoring really loud, babe. I’m not looking forward to it.”

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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Licking her lips she shook her head ever so slightly, “No.. you didn’t say anything wrong Jesse. I just… I know that I would be here with you if I didn’t have to go back to school. I’ve lost so much over the years because of my career, I don’t want it to get in the way again. If I hadn’t had school I would have come with you.” Closing her eyes she leaned her forehead against his, “When…When you come back to New York maybe.. maybe you could come stay with me for a while? I don’t want to let you out of my sight again.” Pulling back she looked into his eyes, “I don’t care what we watch, I just want to curl up on the couch with you. We could watch a horror movie for all I care.”

Jesse was surprised that her views had changed so much in the time they’d been apart, the things she’d said before he left still clear in his mind. “But if you chose me over your career, or vice versa, eventually you’ll end up resenting me like you said I would if I stayed in New York for you. That’s what would have happened if you would have stayed in Ohio...” He hated talking about that part of their past, even now with them as close as they were, it still left a bad taste in his mouth. Nodding slightly, he grinned, taking her hands in his and giving them a squeeze. “Maybe I could, yeah.. If that’s what you want.” Her words made him laugh as he pulled her back into his arms. “Sweeney Todd it is then!”

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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She opened her mouth to argue with him but her words failed her. She’d been wrong, again, she’d been so wrong. All her life she’d put her career first, the only time she hadn’t was when she insisted on going to college instead of falling straight into her career, but she didn’t want it to happen again, she didn’t want to lose him because their careers came first. As tears threatened she closed her eyes and curled up against him again, fighting against the emotions she was feeling inside. He wouldn’t be home before she knew it. He’d miss her opening night, he wouldn’t be there when she started school again, he’d miss her birthday, the holidays. She shook her head when he offered her the remote, “Pick something funny, I don’t mind what, just something which will make us laugh.”

Jesse couldn’t understand why she kept going so quiet, pulling away so he could look into her eyes. “Hey... Baby, what’s wrong?” He wasn’t sure if it was being homesick that’d gotten her so worked up or something else, but either way he hated it when she was upset. “Did I say something wrong again? I swear, if you don’t tell me sometimes I just don’t realize I’m doing it. I’m sorry if I upset you..” He thought for a second before shaking his head.“I’m not really a funny movie kind of guy.. I don’t know what movies will make you laugh.”

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008 Pajama Party - St. Berry

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Lifting her head she looked at him, the only time she’d ever felt this way was when she’d moved to New York all those years ago. Since she’d left Jesse and all that she knew in Ohio behind. Rachel screwed her eyes closed because she hated it when he spoke about Taylor and their friendship. Rachel used to be his best friend, they used to do everything together, they were inseparable.. But she’d left and Taylor took on that role.. Best friend, the person he went to prom with, took out on dates.. all the things she’d missed out on growing up. Even though she was with him now, she didn’t think she could ever forgive herself for picking New York over him, for allowing someone else be his leading lady for all those years. They would never be as close as Taylor was, they’d never had those memories and it was all her fault. So many regrets and all of them her own fault, so many years to make up for. “I-If… if I’d finished school then maybe I could have stayed..” Taking a slow breath she pulled back a little and ran her fingers through her hair, setting her cell down on the table before picking up her drink, “So, what are we going to watch?”

She was quiet for a while and Jesse had no idea what she was thinking about, searching her eyes for some kind of clue. Her words caught him off guard though and he frowned, shaking his head. “What? Rachel, your life is in New York, your job, your family... You’ve only been here a few days and you’re already homesick. I’d never expect you to even think about staying. This was my decision, something I chose to do for my career. Like you said yourself, career comes first, right? Besides, I’ll be home before you know it.” He shrugged, holding out the remote for her to take. “Whatever you want... We could watch a Sondheim musical and talk about how much better the stage versions are.. Or we could watch a Disney classic? I don’t mind.”