Mara, idk if you are still active since it's Halloween, thus not November yet. But, just in case, I'm the anon from before. For some reason I've been doing better with my OCD these past days, like I broke through the fog or something. I read a self-help book on OCD, did exposures, cut the compulsions and started accepting the thoughts and not arguing with them. I'm not there *yet*, but much better than before for sure. I hope everything goes well for you in the future. Best wishes.
I actually kept it open awhile longer, but today is my last official day on this page of tumblr anyways. Thank you so much for reading my posts, and going on this journey with me. Iâm glad that youâre doing better, and I wish luck on your journey. Stay strong, and fight hard.
Same anon as before. Right now I'm going through a bout of HOCD again (several months as of now). After a few years with OCD mostly (but not entirely, I went through other themes but it was mild) dormant, it's back at it with varying obsessions. And in part it's my fault because I was seeing it coming but didn't do exposures to keep it at bay. So, to everyone reading this: be careful. If you see it coming back, don't waste time and take action before it's too late.
I agree with you! For awhile I lived under ocds control, it wasnât until I took control that I realized my true potential, now Iâm ready for anything. Sometimes it does catch me off guard, I know itâs tricks thou. Good luck with the exposures, and hopefully you can get it under control again. Thank you for the insight! â€ïž
Is 19 the "magical age" of OCD? Because mine (also HOCD) manifested two weeks after my 19th birthday. Months later, once I learned I had OCD, I'd look back and notice it had been there since I was a kid, just not as bad as after I turned 19. I remember seeing in OCD forums lots of people with the same experience.
It seems like it! Just like you mentioned I heard so many people had it manifest much stronger when they turned 19/20. I remember reading something about it and I think it has to do with our brains development. Iâve also had issues with ocd in the past, i just never noticed until I turned 19.
Hello, everyone, Mara here. I wanted to announce that I will no longer be active on this page starting November 2018. Iâve been too busy with work and school to pay much attention to social media.
I will be leaving the blog up so that you guys may read through it, and find help/resources. I decided to stop contributing to the page not only because of time constraints, but because Iâm no longer struggling with hocd. Yes, the ocd part is still there, I still get intrusive thoughts, I still get anxiety from said thoughts, but I know how to deal with it now.
Itâs finally okay again.
Youâre probably asking yourself, whatâs the secret? whatâs the cure? I remember asking myself the same thing when I read success stories and well the secret is therapy. Itâs CBT, itâs exposing yourself, itâs accepting your fear. I know, I know. Thatâs not what you wanted to hear, but the truth is mental health isnât a straight line of magical okayness. Itâs hard, itâs a roller coaster that keeps going faster and faster. Itâs crying for hours on end because of the thoughts. Itâs geting major headaches, and going to school half asleep. It was a living nightmare.
BUT. It gets better. My ocd manifested itself in December 2015, shortly after my 19th birthday. Today, in 2018, itâs a distant memory. I got a job after I forced my self to leave the house, I went back to school full-time, I started hanging out with my friends again, I learned to paint and knit, I got a puppy!!! Time is finally mine again, and not OCDâs. Iâll be leaving for university after this spring, itâll be my last semester at my community college. Yeah, Iâm late, I shouldâve been graduated by now, but thatâs okay. OCD took a lot of time away from me, but now instead of thinking âwhat if youâre gay?â Iâm thinking about going into teaching foreign language and traveling a bit. Instead of checking my sensations and reactions, Iâm taking my puppy for a walk.
It gets better.
For those of you that are still struggling with HOCD, or any manifestion of Pure Obsessional OCD, I hope that you recover soon. I hope that you get to expierence peace again. If you need any more information on sexual orientation obsessions check out
2/2 i can assurely say i have no attraction whatsoever for girls but my mind is telling me im only in denial and deep down i do.. the only thing i think thats setting me a part from the HOCD people that always thought they were heterosexual before is that when i was a kid i had same sex experiences and it was always in the back of my mind, although when i became a teenager it was clear as water that i was straight, im not like others that ive never questionned my sexuality before hocd :(
Hi! First of all, I apologize for the late response, Iâm not active on this account anymore, but I occasionally come back. Second, Iâm really sorry that youâre going through this! It sure sounds like Pure Obsessional OCD (HOCD), but Iâm not a professional at all so I canât diagnose you. I do, however, recommend that you get help and talk about this with a professional, or someone you trust.
Hereâs some more information in case you want to learn more about it! https://www.intrusivethoughts.org/ocd-symptoms/sexual-orientation-ocd/
If youâre still having trouble feel free to PM me, best of luck
-Mara
Sexual Orientation OCD, sometimes called Homosexual OCD, is a subset of OCD in which a sufferer experiences fears and obsessions about their
My therapist told me that the reason Iâm severely depressed is because so many people have been so shitty to me and itâs all taken a toll on me. She asked me âwho asks about your day? who tells you they appreciate you? who compliments you?â And i started crying. She said âall youâre used to is just people being mean and not there for you and letting you down or trying to use you and itâs a lot for one person to handle. you deserve people who are nice to you and who care about you and your well beingâ She suggested I cut off every second single person thatâs been shitty to me, block them all in my phone, take a break from social media, and just be alone for a while. I said the loneliness would kill me, but she said loneliness is better than feeling this low because of shitty people.
This whole talk had me emotional. Cause it was all so true. My self esteem is so gone, because Iâve let people just walk all over me and use me and treat me so bad. I give people too many chances. If someone shows you one time that theyâre an asshole, you cut them off immediately. You donât need to take anyoneâs shit. And please donât keep anyone around who belittles you or talks shit about your mental illness. Do you know how many times Iâve been told to âgo fix my issuesâ ? Yeah fuck those people, you donât need them anywhere near you.
shoutout to depressed and anxious people who often isolate themselves because they donât have the energy to socialize, theyâre scared, donât believe anyone genuinely wants them around, etc.
youâre gonna graduate, youâre gonna find a job and youâre gonna be happy. life will go on, days will pass. just breathe. itâs going to be okay.
shout out the kids who have ocd that makes them believe with all their heart that theyâre terrible people, the ones who canât stop obsessing over bad things theyâve done, and the ones who feel like they deserve to die
youâre strong and amazing and iâm always here to talk
daylio (available on google play and app store for free) - âPick your mood and add activities you have been doing during the day. You can also add notes and keep an old school diary.âÂ
calm harm (available on google play and app store for free) -Â âCalm Harm provides tasks to help you resist or manage the urge to self-harm.â
impulse DBT (available on google play and app store for free) -Â âImpulse DBT is an invaluable tool for those who need to keep track of daily impulses for Dialectical Behavior Therapy.â
7 cups of tea (available on google play and app store for free) -Â âWhether you are going through a challenging time or just want to talk to someone, at 7 Cups youâll find a path connecting you to kind people and helping you develop new skills to solve your problems. Over 16 million conversations.â
whatâs up - mental health app (available on google play and app store for free) -Â âWhatâs Up? is a fantastic free app utilising some of the best CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy) methods to help you cope with Depression, Anxiety, Anger, Stress and more.â
pacifica (available on google play and app store for free) - âPacifica gives you psychologist-designed tools to address them based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, mindfulness meditation, relaxation, and mood/health tracking.âÂ
booster buddy (available on google play and app store for free) -Â âBoosterBuddy is a free app designed to help teens and young adults improve their mental health. Manage your personal wellness journey and earn achievements as your sidekick guides you through a series of daily quests designed to establish and sustain positive habits.â
Hey, itâs okay. Youâre doing great. Itâs not just a little progress, it is a little enough one. You are looking at the ceiling today, perhaps itâs still hurting inside, but youâre gonna be fine. You will be, today. Because you can. You will get up with those heavy bones and heavy heart, but you will try. Try to eat, try to do what you like, try whatever you need to try. You will not feel it for now, and thatâs normal, those little things youâre doing to escape the chaos in your head, will pile up until you no longer feel like staring at that ceiling again, because you can finally get up and live.
First admit that you are unhappy. Then admit why. Then understand you need to let go. Allow yourself a moment. Breathe in the moment deeply. Then the healing will begin.
Nikita Gill, How to Start Healing
(via thelovejournals)
