#hocd

[sylveriasarcana]

you're not alone. i promise.

but if you're in the OCD tag looking for reassurance or chasing a compulsion, I'm gonna need you to put your phone down. go on, put it down. and i want you to say out loud,

"Maybe the thoughts are right. Maybe they're not. Either way, I will be okay."

that's all you have to do. no more googling or tag searching, you've given OCD all the attention it deserves. you can go do something else now.

the monster in your head isn't in control. you are. good luck ❤️

[openmindpsych]

believe it or not orientation OCD is not about being homophobic or biphobic or whatever it's about not being sure of your identity. you don't have to hate gay/bi people to be distressed by the idea of not knowing who you are and not being able to figure out such an important part of your life and identity. truly it's not about other people, it's about the fear of uncertainty, just like all OCD

[asaltysquid]

Found out yesterday that my religious OCD is so bad and insane that it jump started my boyfriends creative spark to write a sci-fi/horror novel about Christianity/afterlife inspired by studying me with a big magnifying glass like I'm a bug.

And that's kind of beautiful I think.

By the way, this conversation was sparked by me crying about being physically unable to trust the sensation of happiness, because to feel good and happy is to be led astray by the devil because my parents beat into me that truth and righteousness is only achieved through sacrificing your joy and enduring pain. If something feels good or makes you feel joy it will always be short lived and you can only achieve peace through struggle. Here's the fun part. I'm not even fucking Christian anymore. But I was so abused as a kid and my OCD is so bad that I am constantly plagued with 24/7 existentialism about myself and the people around me because what if my parents are secretly right and it's only a matter of time till my life comes undone?

Anyhow fuck Christianity and here's to hoping if I have to be non denominational God's mentally sickest boy, it's so my partner can write a most excellent novel.

[susiephone]

can we put “intrusive thoughts” on the ever-crowded shelf of “words the internet can’t use until they learn what they actually mean” please? because it is genuinely INFURIATING to see tiktokkers be like “oop shaved my head, the intrusive thoughts won!!” or “my intrusive thoughts are telling me to call my ex a cunt and tbh they a point”

but then when people talk about intrusive thoughts that involve violence to themselves or others, sexual assault, bigotry, animal cruelty, abuse, or any other genuinely horrifying thing, then suddenly it’s all “omg if you even have that thought you’re disgusting!” and “you wouldn’t think it if you didn’t mean it on some level!” and “ok FINE maybe you can’t help THINKING it but do you HAVE to post about it?” (and i’ve seen that last one commented on videos where people simply mentioned HAVING intrusive thoughts about the topics i just listed. not describing the thoughts in detail or saying what they entailed! just mentioning “i have intrusive thoughts about [x topic]” and suddenly everyone in their comment is jumping down their throat for making them uncomfortable.)

the point of intrusive thoughts is that they are thoughts you do not like, do not want to have, and do not believe in your logical, thinking brain. “swerve into traffic” “you could stab them” “what if you poisoned the coffee you just gave them and somehow repressed the memory” “what if you secretly want to hurt them, so secretly even YOU don’t know it” “what if you ran someone over and didn’t notice” “what if you don’t actually love your mom you’ve just fooled yourself into thinking you’re capable of love but really you’re just faking it”

intrusive thoughts are upsetting, scary, and often objectively ridiculous.

they’re not fun.

(on a similar note, it is genuinely creepy to realize how many people believe in thoughtcrime, even if they don’t realize it.)

[khizuo]

shoutout to people with taboo OCD thoughts who experience arousal from your taboo fears in dreams. yes, even if during the dream it feels like you "like it", since weird emotions are just another shitty ingredient of the brain soup that is your dream. your dreams do not mean anything and neither does your bodily response to them. this is not an indication of your "true feelings". i know that this can be one of the hardest things to deal with in terms of intrusive thoughts, and it can be tough not to internalize them. I hope you have a wonderful day.

[crippleculture]

Friendly reminder that you can't tell if someone does or doesn't have OCD just based on their outward behavior, pure-o OCD exists and you can even have it without realizing it

[justanotherbloodywoman]

I was going to look for Harm OCD on bing, and I found out there is (idk if it's official, I bet it isn't) - or at least there are people who believe in it, a thing called "homosexual OCD" where people are scared to death about maybe being homosexuals..........Why seriously? If I have something like that, I have heterosexual OCD. Liking men is not fair!

[nshtn]

I both think that a lot of OCD is like, these delusions that you do not have agency over yourself and that OCD is made worse or could even be related to being consistently denied agency in childhood (or at least for me. can't speak for others)

And I think that expressing it and experimenting with a lack of it in my writing is inspired directly by these things

Like my worst OCD thoughts all stem back to being powerless over things I can't control in my own mind that I feel like I should have full control over, but because I'm ND I just... don't.

I have no control over the direction of my thoughts and my nervous system's response to them. It often feels like my voices come from another person, or outside of me, or are imprinted upon me by something other than me, or that something else or someone else resides in me, or that I'm watching myself make actions that aren't mine, or that work isn't mine. I look at things I have made and it feels like someone else woke up, did them, and slept again, and now I'm viewing what they did - but it's just me. The memories of me doing it don't feel like they belong to me at all.

The worst ones are hOCD which comes and goes, but the worst of it makes me feel out-of-body and lock myself away from others because I'm afraid I'll somehow "snap against my will" and "kill people, also against my own will, but it's secretly my will, but it isn't, but somehow it is". It's clearly delusional but, eh, yknow, OCD isn't classified as that or w/e