[sleeplessv0id]

what doesn't kill you makes you weird at intimacy

[inkskinned]

you get used to it, but it's tiring, because they need you to understand your own life as a series of goalposts. what college are you going to, what's your major going to be, whatcha gonna do with that, oh where will you settle down, when can i expect grandkids.

for the longest time my goals have been so blurry that they track into each other, their undefined edges slipping quietly back into the soft night. today i want to be a writer; tomorrow i will want to be a doctor, later i will wish i took that law school free ride. how the fuck do people just know what they want to do with their life?

where do you want to be in five years? i want to be alive; which is a huge step for me. ten years ago i would have said i want to be asleep and meant i hope that i'm dead by then.

but i want a yellow kitchen and a stand mixer. i want a garden and a fruit tree (cherry, if i can make that happen) and a big yard for my dogs to play in. i want to come home and read poetry out loud to someone and have them close their eyes to listen. i want a summer watergun fight. i want to make snowmen. i want to be the house to go to for halloween. i want my life to settle around me in a softness, for it to lay down gently. if i am very, very, very lucky, i want to travel; finally go someplace overseas.

of course i don't know what i want to be doing professionally. what i actually want to be doing is curling up beside my dog, settling in to read. i want to be making myself a cup of good coffee.

i can't answer the other questions. whenever people asked me what do you want to be when you grow up, i used to say i hope i'm happy.

i hope i'm still kind, five years from now. i hope i never get jaded and mean. i hope i have stayed in therapy. what do you picture yourself doing? when will you actually be an adult about this? why are you so afraid of being ambitious?

am i not ambitious? the other day i rearranged my furniture which doesn't quite fit into my apartment. i watered my plants. i'm going to try to propagate a cherry seed. my five year goal is to spend more time laughing. to lie down in a patch of sunwarm moss. to relax for a minute. to close my eyes and think oh thank god. this is why i stayed. this is finally it.

[blanketforcas]

you must remember that you're gonna continue to find things (art, nature, people, etc) that amaze you and ground you and you're gonna be glad to be alive to experience it

[weltenwellen]

Wildness Before Something Sublime Leila Chatti

[vexheart]

I highly recommend you find yourself a clingy (healthy) lovey dovey partner who's super excited about you. life is too short to spend it with someone who act like showing love is a chore

[dollbandcry]

how do people hatewatch things, i can barely find the time to read and watch all the things i actively want to, how the fuck are you putting time aside to watch an entire season of dogshit telly thats just gonna make you mad

[mintykiwi]

[mintykiwi]

EVERY YEAR

[le-immorte]

C// Instagram // Redbubble- Prints //

[folklorespring]

I love when people post photo dumps and just random mundane things and their pets and sunsets and their meals and spotify links !! I'm the target audience for your blurry vertical pictures of your morning cup of coffee

[ruhaniya]

sorry i didn't reply i have existence issues

[kosmogrl]

the day is gonna end anyway and your warm bed will be waiting so you might as well do the hard things and not let them ruin your day

[kosmogrl]

this is unironically how I push myself to do everything I dread

[kosmogrl]

[kosmogrl]

"is it that serious" everything is very serious to me. don’t even joke lad

[ot3]

does anyone know if it's okay to spend money you earned from working at your job on objects you need or want

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[fairycosmos]

hey idk how to articulate this part of being mentally ill but basically i feel like my life has been stolen from me in the most literal way and i can’t explain it without sounding like im making a million pathetic excuses

[seven-winged-liar]

hearing a beloved friend say the words 'can i be mean for a sec' is like watching an angel descend from the heavens and kiss you on the forehead