Girl and Laptop

and a little hodgepodge blog

[cry-ptidd]

I've been struggling to draw lately, tried to wrench out of it with a Jonathan

[dathen]

Still obsessed with Arthur Conan Doyle’s letter to Bram Stoker gushing about how wonderful a book Dracula is, but particularly how it makes such a good template for leaving fic comments, so I’m gonna to a BREAKDOWN:

Just say you loved reading it - “I am sure that you will not think it an impertinence if I write to tell you how very much I have enjoyed reading Dracula.”

Comment on a detail of the craft or structure that impressed you - “It is really wonderful how with so much exciting interest over so long a book there is never an anticlimax.“

Comment on how it emotionally affected you - “It holds you from the very start and grows more and more engrossing until it is quite painfully vivid.”

SHARE YOUR BLORBO FEELINGS - “The old Professor is most excellent and so are the two girls.”

Show appreciation for them as an author - “I congratulate you with all my heart for having written so fine a book.”

Next time you don’t know what to say on a fic you enjoyed, just use the ACD method~

[miss-nerd-alert]

The thing is, Arthur Conan Doyle WOULD know how to write a good book review, because he himself was a writer. He gave exactly the kind of review he himself would like to receive.

His preview probably made Bram Stoker’s entire year.

[lauralot89]

The Big Three British Gothic Horror Novels

And Their Biggest Misconceptions

Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus by Mary Shelley

The Misconception: The monster has the intellect of a very young child, and little if any grasp of language

The Reality: The monster is self-educated in literature and philosophy and speaks fluent French

Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

The Misconception: Mr. Hyde is an evil split personality that takes over Jekyll's body

The Reality: Mr. Hyde is a persona that Jekyll uses to hide his identity while giving into all his worst desires

Dracula by Bram Stoker

The Misconception: The women love Dracula.

The Reality: Dracula lives with three women who treat him with nothing but contempt. Of the other women he interacts with in the novel, one never notices he's there, one never sees him but is terrified of his effect on her life, and one hates his guts.

[whetstonefires]

One of my favorite things is modern adaptations that leave people with the same careers they had in the original material, because unless you’re a cop or a doctor that practically never happens.

Irene Adler’s an opera singer. We still have those! They don’t have the same subtext exactly, but nothing is going to because we aren’t the Victorians. She could continue to be an opera singer. I have never seen this happen.

Jonathan Harker can still be in real estate. That’s a job people have. A modern story that still involves Dracula contacting his firm to help him purchase property sounds amazing actually.

[nudityandnerdery]

A modern adaptation of Dracula where you keep seeing Jonathan Harker’s face on bus stop bench ads for his realtor office.

[daddygrandpaandthebeaver]

#“This client doesn’t seem to exist online; a bit strange. But he’s elderly so it’s not that unusual” -Jonathan about to make a mistake – @capslockdoesntexpressmyjoy

[prokopetz]

I was about to joke about Quincey Morris still being a cowboy, but then it occurred to me that he’s not actually a cowboy in the source material, is he? He’s the wealthy heir of a Texas ranch-owning family who just acts like an Old West cowboy. If anything, that’s even more plausible today than it was in 1897.

[roach-works]

let’s see dracula shrug off getting hit with one of these country cosplay motherfuckers

[flmuseumgirl30]

Also this would 💯 retain the energy and laughable disconnect of the novel.

Everyone fighting over Lucy in gorgeous sunlit penthouses while Jonathan keeps falling Scooby-Doo style looking for cell service in increasingly precarious positions.

Mina keeps trying to get someone to care that her last WhatsApp message didn’t go through and Jonathan hasn’t responded in three days. “Calm down, Mina, it’s the 22nd century. How bad can it be? He’s fine. Just lost service or something.” Cut to Jonathan watching Drac crawl down the wall like a lizard.

VanHelsing is a fringe ghost hunter that Dr. Seward follows on YouTube who has 10 followers so immediately responds when they reach out when Lucy gets sick.

[emilyparagraph]

i fuckin love tumblr book club. what're we reading today?

oh, 200 year old literary classic Dracula but in chronological order? fabulous

a new romantasy book about a dangerous crow boy that destroys plastic and his unfrozen-from-nuclear-winter australian fated mate? dope

honorable mention to gonchorov which is a movie, but it saw quite the resurgence years ago

[queersona]

therapist: cunt dracula is not real and cannot fuck you.

cunt dracula:

[queersona]

[jojo pose] count dracula. [different jojo pose] nice to meet you. [jojo walk cycle] alexa, turn down the music! [the obnoxious music doesn't change volume] mr harker

[virtualgirladvance]

Cuntula

[mysticalalleycat]

[tricksterwitchkat]

"Oh yes," The count says, striking a pose, "My dear, personal friend, Mr. Jonathan Harker."

[sykes]

Jonathan Harker and Count Dracula have very realistic employee-customer interactions; every response from Jonathan is like this

[marghen]

It's an old tale from way back when/ And we're gonna sing it again and again...

[aquilacalvitium]

Jonathan on the 12th: This thing isn't human, I just watched him scale the bloody walls like a fucking lizard, what sort of beast am I forced to be in contact with????

Jonathan on the 15th: Saw the old bastard scaling the fucking wall again and honestly fuck this shit I am so over it hope he falls actually.

[it-was-dead-when-i-found-it]

Ok idk who came up with making a "cleaningsona" but that hack works so damn well?? I absolutely cannot clean my room until I put on my most Victorian blouse, my fangs, start playing my funky little vampire playlist, and pretend I'm an 800 year old immortal who's bittersweet about packing up and moving to a new town with a new identity because locals are starting to catch on that I'm a vampire

[beyondwhimsy]

The four stages of lizard fashion according to my good friend Johnathan Harker

1. Oh no The Horror

2. He’s doing it again 🙄

3. When in Transylvania do as the vampires do

4. I wish I had a gun

[susiephone]

i know we all poke fun at quincey's dialogue for being the most stereotypical yeehaw cowboy slang imaginable, but it is genuinely so cute to me that he actually plays that up because he knows lucy thinks it's funny

[lauralot89]

Dracula's blog: Reasons My Solicitor Is Crying

29/6, 10:00 PM - He wants to go outside, where there are wolves.

29/6, 10:01 PM - I opened the door to demonstrate that there are wolves. Now he wants to stay inside.

[thestuffedalligator]

It is November of 1893. You have just killed a vampire. Exhausted and worn, you close your eyes and rest.

You wake up. It is May of 1893. You are on a train en route to Transylvania. Your diary says you have had queer dreams lately.

You try to believe it.

(An old woman puts a rosary in your hands. You accept it without question.)

You are a guest in a castle you have never been in before (you recognize every hallway and know without trying that every door is locked). Your host is a man you have never met before (you killed him you killed him you killed him he had turned to dust and there was blood on the snow).

One morning you cut yourself while shaving.

There is nobody behind you in the pocket mirror’s reflection.

You turn fast, and the razor is like a Kukri knife in your hand.

[casualcryptid69]

We’re under a severe thunderstorm warning rn and my dad just opened the door to show my dog because he was begging to go out and it reminded me of that part in Dracula where Dracula opens the door to the howling wolves and Jonathan’s like um actually I’ll stay inside thanks

[moodsandtenses]

There's something hilarious about how so much subsequent media has positioned Vampires and Werewolves as, like, binary opposite entities, and then you read Dracula (1897) and realize that wolves are that guy's preferred solution to every problem. You'd say something to Dracula about "ah yes, werewolves, vampires' great eternal enemies," and he'd just be like "you mean my subcontractors?"

[thememedaddy]