PART I: THE IDEAL STANDARD The connections we deserve or we think we deserve are derived from our own perception of ourselves. Our standards are only as good as our skills and what we can do, what we can offer. Desiring for perfection or anything perfect only means that someone views himself high enough to think that he deserves it. The same is true for someone who has devised an ideal scenario that he thinks is achievable. It takes a lot of inner inspections (introspections), reflections, and self-examinations for a person to know where his skills lie and what his weaknesses are. It is in the most rational thought then, to think that these people, these 'self-awares', given the condition that none are mentally deluded, and whose inner inspections, reflections and self-examinations are with justifiable basis and valid, are the only ones whose standards are acceptable and can be viewed as fair and just. Willing to admit to it or not, we are governed by standards—our standards—no matter how obvious or concealed that government may be, in choosing. Our standards guide us on who among these people around are worthy of our time. "Who is appealing to me? Who of you am I attracted to and may become my friend? My lover?" These can be concealed by only working unconsciously or be obvious by deliberately setting up a list in your head, ticked only if they meet that certain quality. On cases where people are much focused on using their starry eyed perception of the world, they may think they did not apply any sort of standard in choosing the people they want to acquaint themselves with but of course, they most probably did. For someone who has paid much attention and importance to knowing who he is and made self-awareness a priority in his everyday life, I have created a set of things that I desire to have when given a chance to select for the connections that I will make. On times when it is clear that I must look for someone, this standard is vividly painted. But of course, there was also that time when only minimal glances are made (to this standard). As disappointing as it may seem, even in the face of love, standards are ever present and are hardly shaken off. First of all, to trigger a connection that would matter, a curious, engaging, sensible, and open mind is needed. I can never make myself ignore a curious query that echoes a personality so wide-eyedly focused to questions. It doesn't need them to be intellectually superior, just the curious mind is enough. The desire for answers must be present. Image or aesthetically wise, someone must be presentable and can flexibly blend himself in both sophisticated and provincial situations. He need not to have a properly defined beauty;a vibe of attractiveness is enough. Of course included in this quality is his affinity for higher tastes that balances his willingness to try and be immersed to things that are mediocre. One must also be able to decide and assert his mastery of his own will/soul. He must be willing to stand for whatever he believes in and make decisions in which he has a capacity to turn into action. Someone who makes other people responsible for his own decision making and holistically, his life, is such a distasteful quality that I can never make myself admire. Lastly, as to only what my current state of mind and memory permits me to write, he unnecessarily need to be of "moral" character. As long as it is justifiable and is the result of a rational mind, it's not much of a big deal. Granting that all of this qualities are embodied by a single person, there is no doubt that he will be the most alluring personification of my ideals and would surely be the only apple of my eyes. It is also of high confidence that the relationship would be equally ideal now to how the person is. Of course, this will more so be made possible by the personality of the partner that is as managing and solution-focused as mine. It is expected that everything will be subjected to proper discussions, attempts of improvements and solution negotiations which I believe is a major key to keep the relationship going. PART II: IN RECONCILIATION WITH MY POLYAMOROUS MIND As much as we would like it to be, attaining our ideals is not as easy as how it appears inside our minds. The right conditions must happen at the right time—which in a practical sense, is never...or so they say. This is the reason why people get the love they think they deserve without trying harder to find or wait for someone better than who is presented right before them. We choose the easier path, the more realistic and achievable things that we forget to reach our goals and dreams. In my opinion, although the ideal things are very difficult to obtain, it is still possible. The thing with polyamory now, is that it only arises as a mechanism to attempt to fill in the blank space inside each polyamorous. One might choose immediately, scared of letting someone slip their hold and their chance wasted. Only a few are ever so patient to wait for someone they are sure they really want. If ever then, the chooser was a man of high standards and became aware that whom he chose didn't really represent all, or the majority of what he wants in a person, polyamory will kick in, the moment he meets another who has a quality the previous doesn't have. It is anchored by one's strong desire to have everything;getting the bests of everyone. Some ideal qualities cannot coexist with others;one attribute might be a contradiction to one too many more. This adds difficulty in getting the ideal person, and having an ideal relationship. As to how moral or immoral it is, I cannot say–for I believe the morality of an action is not justified by the results but by the intention that gave birth to it and the decisions that are made along the way. If a polyamorous commits to a traditional relationship where exclusivity is a rule and breaking would mean instantaneous conclusion of your involvement with each other, and yet you secretly bonded yourself with a third party that you found possesses a quality the other doesn't have, then it is immoral. If a polyamorous is aware of the hurt his partner is enduring by knowing he loves another and yet still intentionally continues to do it, then it is immoral. Polyamory is an attempt to seal all the gaps, to fill all the holes, and to get everything. But still, it would remain just that if you won't let it to be more than a feeling.
tangentwithtanner
prguitarman
izzy806
dededos
origamiaround
snowghoul
