Odessa's Cottage

Slow living, sewing, history, travel, and general weird stuff. Accidentally a tøp blog as well, I guess.

[odessascottage]

Insertion lace on my latest sewing project

This blouse was entirely stitched by hand (it was my evening couch project for almost two months) and made from leftover linen pieces from other projects. The instrument lace became a fashion choice, but also a practical way to join the update and lower sleeve so I could cut them from separate pieces since I lacked scraps long enough to cut a whole sleeve.

[odessascottage]

Guess who got an (unofficial, I suppose, because it's from my family doctor rather than a psychiatrist) ADHD diagnosis...

This is not a surprise. I was a high-achieving monster in college because I could choose my major and take classes mainly that I was interested in. I basically spent years in long periods of hyper-focus. Then I entered the job force and had all the adult responsibilities and started having existential crises on a regular basis.

I crave novelty so I change jobs often and am always starting new projects but I need accountability and deadlines to force myself through the later stages of things when my brain isn't giving me the chemicals anymore. I feel constant anxiety and guilt. My house is a mess. Sometimes I have huge bursts of rage that seem to come out of nowhere. Driving is a challenge. I sometimes make predictions that are dead on, which I jokingly call my "gift of prophecy"— but apparently that could be enhanced pattern recognition that comes from the condition.

I thought it was CPTSD but apparently it may also be ADHD, they overlap a lot.

So anyway, now I get to try drugs.

[omnia-mors-aequat-nstrwa]

A Knights Dress by Frieda Lepold

[odessascottage]

Portland Head Light, Cape Elizabeth, Maine

May 2026

This is the most photographed lighthouse in the US and one of the most photographed in the world. So, just add my photo to the pile.

[maureen2musings]

Lavertezzo & Foroglio, in the Ticino region of Switzerland

carlo_wiewaswo

[odessascottage]

I no longer expect people to keep their word to me because I am so accustomed to people promising something and forgetting or not delivering.

This led to an awkward moment of me preemptively making excuses for a friend who I thought was going to pull out of something and she said, "what kind of person do you think I am?"

I felt awful of course but I realized it had little to do with the kind of person I thought she was and more to do with the kind of person I seem to be. Forgettable, insignificant, burdensome.

I don't expect any interaction to this post but I just want to express it to the universe because these are the kinds of things I can't say to people in my life because it inevitably hurts their feelings and then ends in me backtracking, apologizing, and comforting them. But it's true and while everyone can have something come up last minute once in a while and they're dealing with things in their own life, it's just something that happens every time when it comes to me.

Maybe it's my fault for shrinking myself so small my needs look like a footnote. Maybe I expect too much because I have no blood to rely on. To me my friends are everything because they are everything to me. But most people will always prioritize blood so I'll never be as important to them. It is what it is but I find it hard. I'd rather people just tell me straight away that they can't do something or go somewhere instead of waiting until the last minute when I'm depending on them and planning around them.

[lvnnsi]

07/17/23 // i need my golden crown of sorrow / my bloody sword to swing

[istillwishforyouateleveneleven]

web weave finds that made me want to claw my eyes out

[stars4roryy]

the "after" you never thought could exist

[odessascottage]

I'm re-reading The Starless Sea

I read it in fits and starts shortly after it came out, started one afternoon when I was stranded in a Barnes and Noble for several hours, but not purchased due to my extreme financial insecurity at the time. I wrote down the page number to pick up later, finishing it in several sessions over months.

So it was time to read it all the way through again, but properly this time.

I think this book is better than The Night Circus, but I can see how some people might find the pacing challenging since we are following a main narrative that is constantly interrupted by stories from in-universe books, and later, splintered into other POVs from the main narrative.

Personally, I love getting lost in the little fairy tales and side stories and finding out how they will wind their way back to the main plot eventually. It's an extremely sensory book that immerses you in these interconnected worlds and it's a love letter to stories and people who cherish them.

In broad strokes, it's a portal fantasy about a young man who finds a mysterious book in his university library and realizes that there is a story about him in this book. This sets him off on a journey where he finds a secret subterranean world made of stories and the people who try to record and protect them and he encounters an organization trying to close all the doors that lead there. There is romance (across various tales), suspense, mystery, and just a lot of atmospheric storytelling.

If you hate fairy tales and want a really grounded fantasy novel with explainable magic systems, this is not for you. If you don't mind wandering down a serpentine path with a more vibes-based sense of world building, then you may also enjoy this story very much

"I wish to sail the Starless Sea and breathe the haunted air."

[odessascottage]

At the point in my draft where I'm asking myself, "and should there be dragons in this story?"

Well gosh, should there be?

[wexleresque]

I am a friend to all cats. Yes even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

[thespoonisvictory]

Ursula K. Le Guin has truly, truly never missed even once

[damndorothea]

i saw this somewhere else but reply / tag what you did today so everyone can see that we all did something different today

[odessascottage]

Acadia National Park, Maine

May 2026, photo by me

[i-know-it-is-hard-to-believe-me]

Clancy + Not quite trusting Torchbearer's intentions presence

Paladin strait // Navigating // The Contract

[odessascottage]

There is something so evil about platforms like Upwork that make you pay to *apply for jobs* as a gig and freelance worker (something with notably unstable income). And half the jobs are fake/scams.

If you asked someone to pay to apply for jobs in any other industry you'd be laughed at, so why are people okay with financially vulnerable freelancers being taken advantage of? And honestly the online community for freelancers (because you typically work alone and don't have in-person colleagues) is so toxic. It's like other freelancers rejoice in people getting taken advantage of and scorn the inexperienced worker rather than condemning the exploitive system.

It's often a degrading race to the bottom to see who will endure the most suffering and who will work for the least pay. And so many major media outlets no longer have in-house writers now, it's all freelance for the most part.