ariavld:
“i think there’s a reason there’s not many people like me,” jooae sighed, once again getting in the groove. since becoming an idol, she’d learned to cook quickly. her ability to dice an onion in seconds was a skill so revered it was often showcased on variety shows during promotions. “it’s exhausting. i’d love to have people say things to or about me and just… not care. to be able to say no to things, stand up straighter, be someone people don’t see as a target or a victim.”
she pursed her lips for a second, silence settling between them (of course, with the exception of the kitchen sounds they were producing as they hurried along). “i love performing, but sometimes i can’t help but wonder if maybe i should’ve been a trainer or teacher instead. the freedom i’d have…” she furrowed her eyebrows. she wasn’t sure if she regretted anything, per se, but she’d definitely thought about what she’d be like in other lives. “have you ever had second thoughts about being an idol?”
odum had to agree with the younger woman — it wasn’t always a easy to stay soft and sweet, especially in their industry, where they could be teared down for just about anything. still, having someone like jooae around sometimes felt like a breath of fresh air, something vastly different than the other idols they encountered on a day to day basis.
thinking over the other’s question, odum decided to answer honestly. “i do, yeah.” it wasn’t something she was ashamed of admitting, though she didn’t voice the fact often. “i wonder if i should’ve stayed in my little niche. or if i should’ve stayed out of the limelight altogether.” though the thought wasn’t as reoccurring lately, it was something she thought about a lot when she’d first joined atlas. “i don’t think i regret it, though. it’s more like... if i had the chance to do it all over again, there’s definitely some things i would do differently, you know?” she let the question hang in the air for a minute, unsure of how to continue. “i don’t think it’s a bad thing to doubt yourself sometimes. i think it helps keeps you grounded, in a way.”















