her voice tinged on annoyance as she addressed no one in particular, quite loud even despite the booming music. it was the alcohol kicking in, definitely. it seemed best to just clarify the question she’d been receiving all night — is that a real bat ? with a roll of her eyes, she fiddled with her half-empty flask, a certain sway in her step as she held herself upright. god, she was drunk – but it was necessary. she wanted to fucking forget everything. blindly, she turned away from the bar as she gestured blindly towards another, fingers running through her long tresses ( dyed blonde ombre for the occasion ).
‘ do you want me to test it out on you or something ? ’
“pretty sure that’s felony assault,” he mused, coming up from behind her; eyebrows raised at everyone nearby, telling them to scram. in all honesty, sebastian knew he’d regret going anywhere near her come morning. he knew it was a terrible fucking idea - of course it was. if it felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest, maybe it really was. but whether it was the booze, whether it was the pretty cheerleader he’d brought to the party with him, whether it was the fact that he’d come as fucking wolverine just to somehow get back at her, well. he was a fucking moron with a death wish, so maybe he deserved what he got.
“don’t think you wanna go around getting charged for that.” taking a swig of his drink, sebastian grinned at his - at her, at jade. but there was an angry tilt to his smile. “again.”
i was here, beyonce || dangerous woman, ariana grande || six shooter, coyote kisses || heal, tom odell || faith, george michael || delilah, florence + the machine || fuck apologies, jojo || if i had a heart, fever ray || alive, sia || one woman army, porcelain black || missile, dorothy || titanium, sia || can’t knock me down, anna mae || fin
it was funny. between the two of them he’d been the one hellbent on being a father and all that shit. yet she was the one that stood there now with a baby, and he with the demanding career. the tables had definitely done something. “it’s along those lines.” he waves a hand vaguely, because he’s always right and when he’s wrong? well he just ignores that. but then his entire face is brightening, a grin pulling at his lips as his eyes land on his special guest. “qué chula.” he coos, tucking the small baby easily into his arms. “the best surprise.”
ever attentive, it doesn’t take long for rafael to seek out the tired mother to which the bundle belonged. after fussing for the due amount over the little sophie of course. “you want a coffee? donut? anything?” he moves the infant over his shoulder then, already beginning to unconsciously sway as he once again addresses sophie, “that’s fine, eh chiquita? we’ll manage a bottle.”
"is it, though?” she counters easily, muting out the sound of rafael cooing over her daughter. she knows sophie’s the absolute cutest - of course she does. and if she didn’t, she’s heard it so many times from literally everyone that she could write an entire research paper on just the autonomic hormonal response grown adults had to cute babies. ( actually, she really should. ) but she’s tired. and raina doesn’t know everything about her colleague, she probably never will. however, one thing she does know is that he’s obviously the dad type. that much’s evident from the way he dotes on mariana silva and that kappa moron. if he’s free to look after sophie, then who is she to refuse a break?
cracking her tired eyes open, she glances at him bemusedly. “do you actually have coffee and donuts?” her kingdom for something solid to eat. raina’s good at a lot of things, sure. not everything, but a lot. getting sophie to eat definitely isn’t one of them. “if you can get her to drink the whole thing, more power to you,” she adds around a yawn.
she remembers holding her younger brother for the first time. when she’d been much smaller. but there was photographic evidence of how much she’d despised that introduction. her face all screwed up as she held the screaming baby like she was about to throw it any second. but sophie? she cradled her now like the sister she’d always wanted, easing herself down carefully into a chair as she tucked the baby’s collar in and out of the way. “far too many people in my opinion.” astoria allows with a slight grin. “sure you can. leave sophie with a sitter and we can watch the devil wears prada all day. just say the word.” she shakes her head then, dark eyes falling to the gurgling sophie in her lap. so maybe babies were a little soothing. whatever. “better. i’m fine. just wanna move on now.”
it’s sweet, watching astoria with sophie, all happy wonder and carefree smiles. after everything that’s happened - the party, the days after, jade’s suspension and alpha house falling into her lap instead, raina thinks that perhaps the student deserves this tiny fraction of peace, for once. “i’d drink to that,” the professor begins, leaning back into her chair with an exaggerated huff of exhaustion, and grins wickedly, “but it’s just a little too early in the day.” what she’d give for a glass of wine and night off, for once. raina hasn’t had a few hours to herself in what seems like a lifetime, even if it’s only been a handful of weeks. “actually - speaking of,” she says, pushing her hair off her face, and taking a deep breath. “there was something i wanted to ask you.” there’s no way in hell she’s going to ask elene after everything that’s happened, and well. oddly enough, there’s no one else she can rely on quite as much. “no pressure, feel free to say no, but - ” raina isn’t catholic, she’s not even religious. but in case something happens to her, someone has to take sophie. “but would you be godmother?”
ale tried not to meet her eye as he continued going over her work, and then moved onto his own, flitting between the two with little semblance of a plan. even with raina’s sleep-deprived and infant-ridden state, her notes were more or less impeccable, aside from a couple of spelling errors and misattributions of theories — but it was planned out about as well as any of his best work. god, she wasn’t real.
he made no effort to dodge the clip, taking it with a small sigh. she meant well, of course, she did, but seeing her this way, all full of warm fuzzies, made him almost nervous. they were colleagues first and friends second, and it would be disastrous if raina, of all people, starterd believing otherwise. “ it’s okay, ” he murmured, sliding the papers her way. “ it’s my job to help you. ” in years, she remained his junior, and therefore, he remained responsible for making sure that she wasn’t having a hard time at riverbank.
“ i’m sure your students get a kick out of seeing sophie. ”
she smiled, indulging his awkwardness with anything resembling emotion. it was alright, really. the one thing raina didn’t need was alejandro devolving into a pile of sentimental mush just because she’d decided to adopt a child. she didn’t want that, not at all. everything was just slightly skewed differently now, that was true. right now, she was a exhausted and her edges were blunted just a bit: she was adjusting to life with sophie. but the world would truly burn if ale suddenly became something he just wasn’t.
she took her work back from him, eyes scanning the corrections; the slightest furrow between her brows as she read. “definitely not what i was talking about.” raina glanced up at him, fixing him with an amused stare. ale was deeply uncomfortable with all that touchy-feely bullshit, which was hilarious knowing that his best friend was pretty much a walking, talking bleeding heart. “but that’s true, i suppose. so thank you for helping me out.”
she scoffed, taking the pen from her colleague and scribbling a reminder across the top of her notes. “you mean they enjoy watching sophie puke all over me, don’t you?” raina shook her head. she was a doctor and this was what she’d come to.
from the diary of raina marie keo : dated viii.iii.mcmxcvii
dear me,
it’s me again. and seriously, this diary thing is pretty damn stupid. you’re just my own consciousness, for god’s sake. yet i don’t have anyone else to talk to in this huge fucking house, so i guess it’s this or that therapist mother keeps mentioning. so let me tell you about all the very many things you already know and just don’t want to talk about, yeah?
anyway, here goes: i got in. i don’t even know why i applied in the first place, the pater’s got his heart set on cambridge for me. he seems to think they’ll straighten out all my new age nonsense, probably put the fear of society and god in me or some shit like that. you should see how proud he is of that acceptance letter - oh wait, you fucking do, you’re me. he’s been telling everyone about it, literally everyone. prattling on about how his firstborn’s going to an oxbridge school, how she’s finally going to make him proud. fat chance of that, right? it’s just me and you here, so let’s be honest. i’m never going to be anything more than a disappointment to him. i’ve got all the right grades in all the wrong subjects. i hate talking about politics. i almost flunked history. i don’t even know what religion is. there’s a fucking laundry list of things that are wrong with me, and he knows it. i know it, you know it. we can all finally agree on something, right?
but i got the letter today - riverbank university, all the way in some georgian city called athens. america, can you believe it? it’s 4,152 miles away from london and if dad could read this now, you know what he’d say, don’t you? of course you do, he said it last night: when he was my age, he was doing what was best for his family, not thinking of himself. how long can he carry that particular cross around, d’you think? he raised a small army of brats, i don’t get why he thinks i’d actually listen to him.
and mother! fuck, can you imagine what she’ll say? actually, she’ll probably want to celebrate. i’m not pretty or refined enough to be a social butterfly, can’t even find a decent husband or have three kids of my own before i’m 25, so studying engineering somewhere as far away as possible is probably for the best. out of sight, out of mind. at least she’ll be happy. even if it’s for herself and not me.
how am i going to leave elene behind, though? theo’s going to be fine, he always is. but elene’s still so young. morticia and gomez are going to sink their claws into her before she’s old enough to tell them to fuck off. i can’t just leave her, they’re going to ruin her and she’s too fucking bright for them to fuck up. they already did that to me, they don’t get to do it again.
so what am i going to do? you’re me, you’re supposed to give me answers or some shit - tell me, what the hell do i do? because if i go, elene’s going to have no one on her side anymore. they’re so good at pretending they care, she won’t be able to see through it until it’s too late. she’s too naive, she doesn’t know any better. she needs me. i know she needs me, because she’ll need someone to fight for her.
but if i stay, i won’t be able to take it anymore. i can’t sit through another one of those bloody dinners or wear those ugly dresses and pretend like i give a shit about what dad’s whining about all the time. last november was stupid and i know, i get it. i shouldn’t have done it. they’ve given me everything, i have absolutely everything i’ve ever wanted because they handed it to me on a silver platter, so why the hell would i want to hurt myself, right? but i feel like everything around me is on fire and somehow it’s my own fault. everyone keeps telling me it is, so it has to be. i’m the one who isn’t falling in line. i’m the one who isn’t doing what she’s told. what do i do if it happens again?
it might be easier somewhere else. i don’t know if it’ll be better, i don’t think it ever will. i’ll always be a keo and i’m never going to be the perfect anything. but maybe we all deserve a fresh chance right about now. or something like that.
god, she was going to hate herself in the morning.
the amount of carbs and sugar that the tiny brunette had inhaled in one night likely matched up to the amount she’d eaten over the course of her entire life. but when sebastian had suggested their pity party – he hadn’t called it that but mari knew that it was – it seemed only right to be a team player and eat the pizza and ice cream before her. it seemed that they both needed it. it was a bit laughably ironic if she thought long enough on it: the both of them in love with their best friends with not positive outcome to the situation. mari had to find it laughable, otherwise she would cry.
with a tired sigh, she scooted closer to the guy who was like an older brother to her, gently resting her head on his shoulder.
‘ i get it… i can’t even be in the same room as – ’ his name got caught up in her throat. the memories of game day flooded back to haunt her – god, what a mess. ‘ why does this have to be so hard ? ’
sebastian had one rule. it was the one rule he’d been taught when he’d joined kappa, it was the one rule he doled out to every kappa initiate every single year. and that was - if you were heartbroken or just plain ol’ sad - were you really quite as pathetic as you could be if you didn’t whine into an obscene amount of junk food? ( you weren’t. there was no answer to it, you just had to inhale as much of it as you possible could. the stomachache distracted you from the heartache, or some shit like that. ) so that’s exactly what he’d decided to do with mari. they were both upset, they were both in love with their best friends and that hadn’t worked out for either of them, and they couldn’t exactly party it away after the last time they had, could they?
no, they couldn’t. that would truly be the worst idea.
they weren’t even going to drink.
swallowing another mouthful of pizza, he wrapped an arm around his would-be baby sister’s shoulders, holding her close. misery truly did love company. “has he said anything at all?” sebastian asked quietly, tilting his head to look down at her. “at least he doesn’t hate you like - ” he blew out a deep breath. “well, like jade hates me.”
“she’s what? a month or two now? i’d be terrified if she started speaking so soon. way ahead of the development curve.” ariela’s face lit up at the offer of getting to play with the baby. it had been too long since manny and mateo were babies, and now that she was older, she figured she would have more of an appreciation for it. the only bad thing about being around babies was that it always made her want one of her own. baby fever was quite real. but she didn’t have the time or funds for that, so she was happy she had raina’s little one to fulfill that desire.
"three weeks and six days today,” raina added immediately, because for no reason at all, it seemed like an important amendment. ( god, was this what being a mother was? ) “i wouldn’t put it past her to start singing spanish lullabies any day now, she’s been hearing them so often.” she really needed to ask her dad for more cambodian songs; singing just one wasn’t doing sophie any favours. leading ariela through the applied sciences building, she looked over at the student with a smile on her face. “so - catch me up, what have i missed?” there weren’t many kids raina was fond of, but she was definitely one of them.
“well, they’re named after two of the teenage ninja turtles; mikey and raphael.” he looked at the look on sebastian’s face, “oh come on man; you know i’m responsible enough to take care of two turtles.” nathan looked sheepish, “okay, maybe right now isn’t the best example but….normally.” he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “i guess their still very much a surprise for you and dean.”
sometimes, he was sure that kappa house wasn’t real. it had to be some elaborate scheme by god to just test the living daylights out of him. “you bought two actual turtles,” sebastian repeated, trying to get the facts straight. “and you named them after those cartoon fuckers.” he opened his mouth before closing it again, eyebrows furrowed deep. “and then you...lost them. in this house.” the frat president gestured around wildly. “where nobody looks where they’re going?!” there were probably two dead turtles here already somewhere. “nate, we need to find them before someone steps on them!”
🎬 for me to use a line from the last movie I watched as a starter
taking a big bite of the donut in her hand, henrietta closed her eyes and groaned slightly as it practically melted in her mouth. it had been too long since she’d had a donut, so when her manager had asked her if she wanted to take the extras from the day home, she hadn’t been able to resist.
looking over at the male across from her, the brunette grinned and swallowed before adressing him “ my soul mate may actually be carbs. ” she spoke with a laugh, before holding out the box of donuts to him. “ do you want one ? ”
his mother did always tell him not to take food from strangers; so did father antonio and literally every third teacher who’d ever taught him. but it had been a long, long day - and not a particularly good one, either. plus, there was the whole thing that he hadn’t eaten anything and who was he, of all people, to reject the miracle of a free donut just turning up in front of him?
his mamá hadn’t raised an ingrate.
“yeah, thanks,” sebastian replied with a wide grin, plucking a donut from the box and taking the biggest damn bite of it. ( he probably had powdered sugar in his beard, but damn, the thing was good. ) “god, if i could just marry this donut, my life would be perfect.”
