:)

British ADHD clown who is held hostage by Magic the gathering and Bideo games. Still believes Skred is a viable archetype.

[notnando]

best pickup line of our generation

[skarchomp]

(obviously hungover film class teacher, wheeling in the overhead projector) okay everyone today we're just gonna do some quadratic equations

[vamptits]

why is it so hot. why is it so hot. I am being punished.

[vamptits]

I'm having my first 24/7 dom/sub relationship with the entirety of the fucking sun

[wetorturedsomefolks]

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

[fluentisonus]

they're trying to get me to do something called ""my job"" instead of reading about medieval english poaching laws

[innerchildabortionclinic]

this is how all high protein dessert vids look to me

[sapphling]

leering roommate who's been very clearly trying to set up a "you have to wear a cowkini around the apartment for a week" type pervert wager every time you get drunk together for at this point months but is simply and i mean really truly Absolutely Dogshit at playing poker

[lokaror]

every mercenary company has got that guy who insists he should fight with two daggers... bro get back in formation and pick up your pike

[sapphic-haymaker]

warm welcome back

[winged-void]

My enemies will warp the facts at every turn to construct a narrative that suits them.

[uwillneverknowwho]

Situations when it's appropriate to say "I'm always saying this":

1. When you are always saying this (factually correct)

2. When this is actually the opposite of what you're always saying (it's satire)

3. When you have never said this before in your life (how would they know!!)

4. When no one else in the world has ever said this and everyone knows that (very funny)

5. When no actual coherent words are being said (maybe I'm always saying this, like, emotionally)

[shakyfoundations]

A mech discord server with a vent channel where all the messages are just ‘FWSSHHHHHH -heat level reduced’

[exitwound]

interviewer: can you explain this gap in your resume?

me: mhm so that’s called a lacuna. it refers to when manuscripts have missing parts, lost to time. for example, the epic of gilgamesh has

[sacred-portal]

[cherryspliced]

[lakemojave]

You don't like New Yawk? 🗽? Bada Bing?

[iamoutofideas]

no 🛩️

[transmechanicus]

anotha one🛩️

[sjalsarkiv]

a bit of inspiration from John Waters.

[insert-witty-user-name-here]