just been insanely busy with a new job and education but writing casually every now and again. ALSO i've finally finished TOG and Quicksilver, good griefffff.
anyway, hmu if you want to write on here (or with my other characters) or chat on discord, can't promise i'll be super active but i'll sprinkle a few nice replies across your dash every now and again ;D]
[outofleathers. hey guys, so sorry for dropping off the map so suddenly after a resurgence of inspiration to write; while i did have the intention to keep it casual over here this time around, that doesn't mean i wanted to leave without communication! i ended up in a bit of a maelstrom of chaos irl, am fine now but haven't been able to be on here. if anyone wants my discord to poke me on there, don't hesitate to shoot me a message!
and for the person who sent me an ask, thank you for keeping me in the loop, i'm really sorry it took me so long to see it. i have the tumblr app but it didn't notify me. please let me know if you come back around here or want to connect on discord]
Had Nesta known how fun it could be to explore the city with Cassian, she might have worked a little harder, or a little faster to heal herself of the pain that still, from time to time, reared its ugly head. She slotted herself between Cassian and the bar after he'd made quick work of removing a male who dared to smile in her direction. As if it wasn't clear they were together.
Her hand rested on his chest as she remembered the times he spoke about. Before they were together, or even sleeping together, Nesta had been reckless. With her body and her heart. She and Cassian didn't always handle it the best. "But I was always your mate. I thought that meant you couldn't control yourself." A small smirk quirked in the corner of her lips. Her ignorant statement would have Cassian rolling his eyes, surely. Because he had controlled himself through it. Mostly. He let her be. He let her test what she wanted and didn't, he let her find her way to him. How foolish she'd been to waste so much time when the right one had been in front of her all along.
Lithe fingers danced between the strong muscles of his pectorals, able to envision exactly what each detail looked like beneath the leathers. If she wanted, Nesta had the power to end their night in the blink of an eye. Her curiosity wanted more. She wanted to learn the parts of Cassian she hadn't had access to back in the beginning. "Do you think you would have told me sooner if I had pushed harder back then?"
Cassian's hear was still threatening to pound out of his chest, anger still roaring in his ears at the audacity of the male he'd disposed of mere seconds ago, but Nesta's touch caused a certain stillness in him that he'd rarely ever experienced. Almost instantly, too, as though removing the thick fog of fury that had been clouding his vision. What remained was a much gentler look, though that was definitely cut short by an eyeroll.
โ You sure were trying to get me to lose control. All the damn time, like you had nothing better to do with your life than to taunt me. โ
She probably hadn't, at least not before she'd started to seriously get into training with him and her newly founded band of Valkyries. For a good while, he'd been her only friend, even if she hadn't acknowledged it back then. By the time she had acknowledged him, they'd been way past friendship and straight into each other's beds. Nevertheless, his remark did go accompanied by a hint of a smile, half caused by the memory of how they would butt heads, half used as a reassurance that he wasn't actually seriously offended by her past transgressions. She'd been in a bad spot, and he was just happy to have been there to watch her drag herself out of it.
The play of her fingers across his torso caused his mind to momentarily draw blanks, and he had to take a moment to process the question she'd asked him. When it finally came through, however, he chuckled.
โ Not sure if you could have pushed any harder, but I think we'd still be miles away from where we are now. Still trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with the other, or ourselves, and the both of us combined. โ
Grinning widely now, he took the hand that was toying with his leathers and raised it up to his mouth in order to place a gentle kiss on her fingertips.
โ I'm okay with how things went between us, or progressed at least. Though I wish I could take some of the experiences leading up to that progress away. โ
If it were up to him, Nesta wouldn't have had to endure any sort of trauma. Perhaps even if that would mean they'd never walked this path together in the first place. Her happiness meant the whole Cauldron-damned world to him.
All the colour had vanished from her face, and she knew that Cassian would easily hear the way her heart hammered in her chest as she stumbled into the room, instinctively moving to hide behind him. The growl and anger in his voice should have frightened her further, but it had quite the opposite effect and she leaned into the gentle, soothing touch of his thumb against her cheek. She was safe, now.
"There was...something in the garden," she explained in a murmur, once she was calm enough to speak. It was the first time she had felt brave enough to step outside unaccompanied, and she was deeply regretting her uncharacteristic confidence. "It was like a wall of cloud, or smoke, but...blood red. And it knew me. It knew my name, and my abilities. It...wanted me."
A shiver ran through her as she remembered the screeching voice? it spoke with, and she wrapped her arms around herself as goosebumps erupted on her skin.
The thudding of her heart was incessant, almost drowning out Cassian's own rational thoughts in favour of jolting into action to protect her from whomever -or whatever- was chasing her, but he stopped himself long enough to listen to her explanation. He'd need to assess what he was dealing with, and what in particular had spooked her so much, and he wasn't going to get very far by dashing out the door before any information at all was given.
The information she did give sent a shiver down his spine. He'd dealt with creatures like this before. Demons from another realm, who'd crept in through the cracks a long, long time ago. Some of them predated the existence of Fae in this world. And none of them were to be lightly trifled with. So rather than jumping into action, he seated himself on a nearby chair, but not before pulling another one up opposite from him and gesturing for her to sit.
โ Listen. What you're telling me sounds an awful lot like some of the creatures I've dealt with, and yes, even I can admit they're terrifying. But you wanna know something else? โ
He leaned in towards her, dropping his voice to a whisper so their conversation would be very difficult, if not impossible, to overhear to outsiders.
โ Your fear feeds them. Don't give them that power over you. You're safe here with me. โ
[FEVER] - Sender is visibly feverish, sweating buckets and still denying to Receiver that they are sick and need to rest. -from Cenred at kingcenred :)
Being sent out as an emissary to other kingdoms had never been Cassian's favourite mission to begin with, but being in a kingdom that he'd never set foot in and meeting with a king that he was not yet familiar with? He had no idea why Rhys thought this was even remotely a good idea. The Illyrian wasn't the most subtle of men on the best of days, and sitting opposite a man he was only just making acquaintance with and attempt to have a conversation with him whilst putting in every ounce of effort to not count the beads of sweat that formed on the king's brow, didn't help one bit.
They had been attempting conversation for at least half an hour now, but the man opposite him was borderline delirious, yet still ignoring every sign of illness that popped up out of sheer stubbornness. That was one thing they had in common, at least. But with the territory of being stubborn also came the learned skill of knowing when to cut your loss---something Cassian had begrudgingly mastered over the years and still didn't always apply.
โ My lord--- โ The term sounded so foreign to him, and it didn't roll off the tongue all that easily. No one was his lord but Rhysand, and yet he was well aware that it was a common way to refer to those of noble ranking. At least not as bad as Your Highness; he really couldn't bring himself to say it.
โ I mean this in the best of ways but...you really don't look well. We should probably take a raincheck on this conversation. โ Was that a socially acceptable way to put it? He had no clue. It was the subtlest way he could figure out how to say it, at least.
[BLOOD] - Sender comes home covered in blood and Receiver confronts them about it. ( This one called to me, oops.)
โ Fuck. What the---?! โ
The coppery tang of blood had greeted him moments before she had, carried in by the brisk outside air as soon as she'd opened the door, and Cassian immediately jolted up from where he was seated, urgency lacing his every step and worry knitting his brows together. When he was close enough to touch her, he instantly took one of her hands in his, fingers closing around her wrist in an insistent, yet gentle touch. He studied her arm, his other hand brushing the fabric of her sleeve up to see if he could find the source of the blood, turning her hand over several times. He found none. Not on her hands, not her arms, and not anywhere else within his current line of sight. This only served to concern him more; had she suffered an injury so severe that she was trying her best to hide it, or...
โ Whose blood is this? Are you hurt? โ
If only he'd fallen in love with a woman who possessed some semblance of predictability. The only thing about Nesta's behavior that the Illyrian could accurately predict, was that she would surprise him, good or bad, at the very least once a day. His poor, soft-boiled egg of a heart was already weeping and she'd not even opened her mouth to potentially cause more turmoil. She was a tempest. And he tried every damn day to stay in the eye of the storm.
โYou couldn't tell I was in love with you because you were too busy loving someone else. โ - from Nes [ owww, tortures you & Cass with memes! ]
Cassian had honed the skill of taking hits so well that one could go as far as to call it one of his specialties, were it not for the fact that he wasn't in the habit of letting his enemies get too many hits in in the first place. Nesta was not the enemy, however, and with all of his vulnerabilities laid bare under her keen eyes, her blow landed to the core. It rippled through him, a slow ache, until it finally presented itself on his features in the form of knitted brows and an incredulous expression. Her remark couldn't have been further from the truth, but it had hit home nonetheless.
โ Nes. You need to hear this, and no matter what happens, no matter what the future holds, keep this in mind. โ
He wasn't sure if the words he'd chosen were more to comfort her or for himself, a mixture of memory and doubt clearly visible in his eyes. Doubt, because he was mulling over all the little things he'd said to her, how he'd presented himself, how he'd acted---if there was any chance whatsoever he might have played into the thought that he was still hung up on Tanwyn whilst accompanying her on her steep climb uphill. And the memories...he had loved Tanwyn. Fiercely. But even though he had thought for a good while that she was the one he might spend the rest of his life with---all of that paled in comparison to how he felt for Nesta. Had always felt.
โ I loved Tanwyn. To claim otherwise would be an insult to her memory. But Nes, I have loved -you- from the moment I first laid eyes on you, even if I was in denial about it back then. Nothing compares to that. Nobody. โ
A pause, because he damn well knew the hardest admission was yet to come. He exhaled a held breath before continuing.
โ I thought you didn't want me. That I wasn't deserving of you. โ
Seemed like it was Cassian's turn to bristle next, his wings flaring ever so slightly behind him in synchronicity with the clenching of his jaw in response to her first remark---and the harshness that was no doubt yet to come. She wasn't wrong necessarily; he wasn't doing this solely for her. It was a fifty-fifty battle between the inexplicable subconscious urge to be near her, and wanting--no, needing her to be safe. Entirely selfish of him, but nevertheless, he worried for her. And yes, the thought of her warming her thighs on someone else that night had his blood boiling even as it ghosted along the outlines of his mind.
What she was wrong about, however, was that he was doing this because his brother had commanded him to do so.
He did actually bristle, then, wings fanned out almost to the fullest of their span, shoulders drawn back; a battle stance that he'd honed through years of training, and one that had crept up on him involuntarily in that moment. Upon realizing just how aggressive that may come across, he instantly lowered his wings a little, though his shoulders remained squared, nostrils wide with the sheer effort of everything he was holding back. Everything he would not say for fear of weakness...because weakness in her presence? She'd have him by the balls in under a minute. The thought alone sent a strange kind of shiver up his spine.
His glare intensified as he trained it on hers, gaze as unmoving as his body, despite his urges telling him otherwise when she stopped in front of him, within arm's reach. This female was insufferable...why then was it that his every thought was trying to spiral him towards muffling her vicious words by making sure nothing passed those pretty, luscious lips but his own---? Fuck, no. If he could take a dive in the ice-cold Sidra to cool his thoughts right about now without looking utterly suspicious, he surely would have. Instead, he inhaled sharply through his nose before finally replying through gritted teeth.
โ Rhys didn't order this--- โ He gestured vaguely at the two of them, the situation they'd found themselves in, and continued โ I'm offering to walk you home. Y'know, like a decent person? You should try that on for size some time. โ
Instant regret at the insult he'd flung her way, and yet...his mouth kept moving. Kept spewing, in defense, to push her away perhaps. He had no claim on her, no right to even think she'd be remotely interested in him or his mannerisms, and he'd been foolish to think otherwise. When you're a kid let loose in a toy store, why settle for a broken one? And broken he was. Perhaps beyond repair. His brain-to-mouth filter sure needed a lot of work. The thought? Please be safe. Please just go home and sleep this off, and get better. What he said instead was:
โ There are plenty other things I could be doing aside from wasting my breath and energy here. โ On you, was left unsaid but heavily implied in the silence. And he hated himself for it, hated that he couldn't voice how he really felt.
Better to keep her at a distance. Better to have her hate him, too.
โ ...You never had a problem with it before. โ
โ I did. It just wasn't my place to say anything about it then. โ
The grip of Cassian's finger on the collar of the person who, up until a moment ago, had been trying to get on Nesta's good side, was unrelenting. His knuckles had turned white with the sheer force with which he held the fabric of the man's tunic firmly in his grasp, the same tension clearly visible in the muscle that ticked in the Illyrian's jaw. Sure, she'd been with a multitude of men during the time she was still trying to come to terms with everything that her life had encompassed after the Cauldron, and yes, he'd let that slide then---but from the moment he'd laid eyes on her for the first time, his gut had roiled like a tempest whenever he'd even so much as scented another male on her.
And he'd kept it to himself. It had added to his frustration, and the animosity between the two of them in those early stages, but he had no right to claim her. She was her own person, and he'd been nothing to her. He much liked to think the latter at least had changed now. And despite his values, despite never wanting to take away her freedom or sense of self-belonging, a wicked grin splayed across his features for just a fraction of a second as he flicked his gaze towards her.
โ You weren't mine then. That changes everything. โ
A distant crash was the only sign of confirmation that Cassian's disposal of the man had landed -through some furniture and perhaps the nearest window- as he kept his eyes firmly trained on hers to strengthen the intent behind his words. All of Velaris---no, the world would know she was his, and his alone.
[omg I gotta go mobile for a little while so I likely won't be able to reply to ask memes and threads right away, but am so happy to be back! like I've said before, I'm really not planning to be as active as I used to be, but I couldn't let ya boi waste away. cheeky monkey is always bouncing in the back of my mind lmao. thank you guys for being welcoming and enthusiastic about my presence on your dashboards hehe ]
Below are a series of sentence starters and actions that vary in levels of angst. Level one being the least angsty, all the way to level five being the most. (TW: Abuse, Violence, Blood)
Level One Sentence Starters
โ I'm just disappointed. โ
โI'm scared. โ
โPlease just trust me. โ
โWhy don't you trust me? โ
โWhat do you mean by that? โ
โ...But you never had a problem with it before. โ
โI shouldn't be here. โ
โYou shouldn't be here. โ
โWhy are you so stubborn? โ
โJust look at me. โ
โHow long does this have to go on for? โ
โI can't sleep. โ
โI hate seeing you like this โ
โJust hang on, okay? โ
โIt's okay to cry โ
โI wanted to apologize. โ
โNot everyone is going to hurt you. โ
โPlease don't misunderstand. โ
โHave you been crying? โ
โTears? Seriously? โ
โYou're crying? How pathetic are you? โ
โIt's okay. Go ahead and cry, I'm right here. โ
โYou didn't have to be so rude about it ... โ
โStay away from me! โ
โWhy would you go back to her? โ
โWhy would you go back to him? โ
โWhy would you go back to them? โ
โ Are you even listening to me?โ
โStop acting like it's not a big deal, you're bleeding! โ
โYou never take me seriously! โ
โI don't like you because you always do shit like this! โ
โI'm just trying to help you! โ
โLet me clean your wounds ... โ
โIt's late, why are you calling?โ
โHow many times have I told you not to go there?โ
โAre you sure you're okay? โ
โLiar! โ
โ You think you know me? You donโt know anything. โ
โ Why didnโt you fight for me? Why didnโt you fight for us? โ
โ You were always the golden child. But you know what? I was the one who needed you. โ
โ You never saw me. Not really. โ
Level One Actions
[APOLOGIZE] - Sender apologizes to receiver before passing out.
[STAGGER] - Sender starts to stagger while they walk with receiver and eventually starts to fall.
[SHIVER] - Receiver notices Sender won't stop shivering, even though it isn't cold outside.
[OUCH] - Receiver notices Sender subtly wince whenever they accidentally touch them somewhere.
[PANIC] - Receiver begins to have a severe panic attack.
[FEVER] - Sender is visibly feverish, sweating buckets and still denying to Receiver that they are sick and need to rest.
[WAITING] โ Receiver waits all night for Sender to show. They never do.
[NUMBERS] โ Receiver notices Sender has been crossing out calendar dates with shaky handsโand something big is circled.
[GOODBYE KISS] โ Sender kisses Receiver like itโs the last time. Receiver doesnโt realize it is.
[STUMBLE] โ Sender keeps messing up small thingsโdropping keys, forgetting namesโand itโs starting to scare Receiver.
[WORN] โ Receiver still wears the hoodie Sender left behind. They pretend it doesnโt mean anything.
[ALMOST KISS] โ They get so close to kissingโbut flinch back, remembering who theyโre supposed to be.
[ONE LAST TIME] โ Sender kisses Receiver mid-fight and says, โJust this once. Then we go back to being enemies.โ
Level Two Sentence Starters
โWere you planning that the whole time? โ
โNo, you listen to me. โ
โYou think this is easy for me? โ
โHaven't you done enough already? โ
โTruth hurts, doesn't it? โ
โPlease don't do this. โ
โI know you're scared. โ
โYou deserve more. โ
โI swear I'll do things different this time. โ
โI'm ... I'm trying, I really am. โ
โI said I'm not jealous. โ
โI see the way you look at him. โ
โI see the way you look at her. โ
โI see the way you look at them. โ
โI don't know what you're talking about. โ
โYou're overreacting. โ
โYou're making a big deal out of nothing. โ
โWhat the hell was that about?! โ
โWhat the hell is your problem?! โ
โNo way you're actually jealous. โ
โAll you do is whine. โ
โI can't do this anymore. Not with you. โ
โHave you been drinking? You look awful. โ
โWhere did all those bruises come from? โ
โ[Name], they don't care about you! โ
โ[Name], he doesn't care about you! โ
โ[Name], she doesn't care about you! โ
โI'd rather it be you. โ
โYou didn't miss me at all? โ
โAll these years and you decided to break my heart now? โ
โPlease just stay with me, just for a moment. โ
โJust admit that you're wrong! โ
โDon't compare yourself to me! โ
โThat kiss ... did you really mean it? โ
โI can't ever trust you again. โ
โSay you never loved me. Say it! โ
โDid this mean nothing to you? ...Did I mean nothing to you? โ
โPlease tell me that at least a part of this was real to you. โ
โI should've listened when people warned me about you. โ
โI know what you did. โ
โDon't. Move. โ
โWhen I let go, run for your life. โ
โ Youโre not even my sibling anymore. โ
โ Youโre not even my sister anymore. โ
โ Youโre not even my brother anymore. โ
โ Iโm not the one who left first. You did. โ
โ I never asked you to be perfect. I just wanted you to show up. โ
โ Itโs too late for apologies now. You left me to deal with everything on my own. โ
โ I donโt care if youโre my siblingโyou hurt me. โ
โ I donโt care if youโre my sisterโyou hurt me. โ
โ I donโt care if youโre my brotherโyou hurt me. โ
โ You canโt just break my heart and expect me to keep forgiving you. โ
โ Maybe I shouldโve let you go the first time you hurt me. โ
โ I kept waiting for you to come back, but you never did. And now I canโt wait anymore. โ
โ You were never there when I needed you. Why should I be there for you now? โ
โ I never wanted to hate youโฆ but you made it impossible not to. โ
Level Two Actions
[BETRAYAL] - Receiver learns about Sender's betrayal and confronts them with it.
[SLEEP] - Receiver is traumatized by the idea of sleeping with the lights off but won't be honest about this to Sender.
[ARGUE] - Sender and Receiver get into a heated argument about something.
[BREAKDOWN] - Receiver has a mental breakdown in front of Sender.
[FORGOT] - Sender forgot Receiver's name/everything about Receiver.
[ABANDON] - Receiver abandons Sender.
[REPLACE] โ Receiver starts seeing someone new. Sender smiles and says they're happy for them.
[FUMBLE] โ Receiver goes to hold Senderโs hand, but Sender pulls away like itโs instinct.
[MISFIRE] โ Sender says โI love youโ mid-conversation, but Receiver thinks theyโre jokingโand laughs.
[EAVESDROP] โ Sender overhears something they were never meant to hearโand it changes everything.
Level Three Sentence Starters
โ I never asked for this. You pushed me into it, and now itโs too late. โ
โI never meant to fall in love with you, I just did. โ
โI know you still love me. โ
โYou know I'm not like that. โ
โDon't give me space, that's the last thing I want with you. โ
โI can't think straight with you. โ
โDo you ever mean the things you say? โ
โI hope she makes you happy. โ
โI hope he makes you happy. โ
โI hope they make you happy. โ
โDon't do this here. โ
โIs he really just a friend? โ
โIs she really just a friend? โ
โAre they really just a friend? โ
โYou can't hide forever! โ
โI just want you to care about me... โ
โFuck off already! โ
โYou made me feel weak โ
โI didn't mean to love you so much. โ
โI wish I was sorry. โ
โI wish I loved you. โ
โYou were the only person I thought I could trust. โ
โYou promised you wouldn't forget me. โ
โYou don't remember me? โ
โIf I see you again, I'll kill you. โ
โYou couldn't tell I was in love with you because you were too busy loving someone else. โ
โYou did such a great job convincing other people that you loved me that I almost fell for it. โ
โ It was never going to be me, was it? โ
โ I'm not angry. I'm just tired of hoping youโll change. โ
โ You never cared about meโjust about winning. โ
โ Iโm not your second choice. Iโm not your backup plan. โ
โ I shouldโve known youโd leave, just like everyone else. โ
โ Do you even care about me anymore? Or was I just your second choice? โ
โ You were supposed to protect me, not be the one I needed protection from. โ
โ You always made me feel like I was in your shadow. Now youโve disappeared into it, and Iโm still here. โ
โ Maybe I shouldโve been a better sibling. But you shouldโve been a better person. โ
โ Maybe I shouldโve been a better sister. But you shouldโve been a better person. โ
โ Maybe I shouldโve been a better brother. But you shouldโve been a better person. โ
Level Three Actions
[RETURNED] - Receiver hasn't seen Sender in months/years since they mysteriously disappeared and now they're suddenly at Receiver's doorstep, but they already recognize Sender.
[INTRUDER] - Receiver realizes they aren't alone in their home when Sender accidentally reveals themselves.
[BLOOD] - Sender comes home covered in blood and Receiver confronts them about it.
[SLEEP TALK] - Sender talks in their sleep and Receiver usually doesn't mind but tonight they say something unsettling that Receiver can't let go.
[DISMISS] โ Sender tries to open up, but Receiver laughs, thinking it's a jokeโand Sender shuts down completely.
[DEADLINE] โ Sender and Receiver make future plansโbut Sender knows they wonโt be around for them.
[MISMATCHED] โ They both say โI love youโโbut one of them doesnโt mean it.
Level Four Sentence Starters
โ You never once asked how I feltโonly how I made you look. โ
โ I never asked for you. โ
โ You ruined my life the moment you came into it. โ
โ Why do you always make me feel like Iโm not enough? โ
โ All I wanted was your love, but it feels like Iโll never be good enough for you. โ
โ Iโve spent my whole life trying to earn your approval. Iโm done. โ
โ I wish I had never been born if it meant Iโd never have to live up to your expectations.โ
โ You never loved me. You just wanted someone to control. โ
โ I donโt care what you think of me anymore. Youโve already destroyed my worth. โ
โYou're the one that made this ugly. โ
โPut the bat down! โ
โPut the gun down! โ
โNo one will ever want you. โ
โYou'd be lucky to have a scar from me. โ
โNobody's coming to save you, give up. โ
โI never loved you. โ
โYou're such a fucking burden. โ
โGod, you can't possibly be any worse. โ
โDon't move, you're bleeding! โ
โAre you bleeding?! โ
โDon't apologize if you're just gonna keep doing this shit! โ
โI know you don't really care about me, so thank you for trying to pretend that you do.โ
โDon't you dare die on me! โ
โI can't lose you ... I can't lose you. โ
โDon't close your eyes! โ
โPlease ... I don't want to lose you again โ
โI'd much rather die by your side ... โ
โDon't look at me like that ... a smile better suits you. Let me die seeing you smile. โ
โIf your smile is the last thing I see, I'll die happy. โ
โI wish you were dead. โ
โI wish you would fucking die already! โ
โWas I a good friend ...? โ
โWas I a good boyfriend ...? โ
โWas I a good girlfriend ...? โ
โWas I a good partner ...? โ
โAm I finally a hero ...? โ
โ Was I a good sister? Did I do everything right? โ
โ Was I a good brother? Did I do everything right? โ
โ Was I a good partner? Did I do everything right? โ
โ You shouldโve let me die back there. โ
โ You only love me when itโs convenient. โ
โ Please donโt make me choose between you and myself. โ
โ I hate that I still want you. After everything youโve done, I still want you. โ
โ Why couldnโt you just love me the way I loved you? โ
โ You donโt get to act like youโre the victim. Not after everything youโve done. โ
Level Four Actions
[PROPOSAL] - Sender is about to propose when Receiver reveals they're already engaged.
[SACRIFICE] - Sender sacrifices themselves for Receiver.
[CURSE] - Every time Sender confesses their love to Receiver, Receiver instantly forgets everything about them.
[POISON] - Sender poisons Receiver.
[MISTAKE] โ Receiver calls Sender by the wrong name during an intimate moment, and the entire atmosphere shifts.
[ACCIDENT] โ Receiver finds Sender lying unconscious, blood pooling, phone still unlocked with an unsent message: โIโm sorry.โ
[REGRET] โ Receiver finds a letter they were never supposed to see. โI hated you because I couldnโt stop loving you.โ
He could have known. Should have known, with all they had been through, all she had shared with him as of late. And yet with the sensation of her snugly in his arms, an uncharacteristically serene posture as the flames of the campfire danced in her silver-grey eyes---he'd forgotten. Those memories were still there, and though he had noticed that she'd made progress and the associations had seemingly drifted to some dark corner in the back of her mind, he knew they weren't likely to fully subside for a good, long while. Not if his experiences were anything to go off of.
A log had cracked, a loud, almost vicious noise that cut through the silence of the night, and it had made her jump so fiercely that he instinctively tightened his grip on her, the movement coinciding with that of her grabbing his hand. He lightly closed his fingers around hers and pressed the knuckles of her hand to his lips for a good, long moment, his other hand splayed out on her back, drawing her in close, with deep pressure intended to make her feel safe. Enveloped by his warmth. Protected. His wings had automatically curved around the both of them to ward off any outside influences, even if there were none to be found at this moment. Bringing her back to that calm state was all that mattered now, that and checking how deep the cut of crackling fire had run. His voice was calm and collected as he spoke to her, though having seen the trauma in her posture for that split second made him anything but that. But he was, and would forever be, the rock for her surf to crash against. No matter how strong the tide.
โ I've got you. I've got you, Nes. โ
A moment of silence, for her---no, for both of them to gain their bearings, and he continued.
It wasn't so much a question as it was a demand; no upward intonation at the end of the sentence, a growl accompanying it throughout as he locked unforgiving eyes with her from over his shoulder. Unforgiving not towards her, but to whomever dared threaten someone he cared about. To counter the harshness he knew was apparent in both his expression and his voice, he turned ever so slightly and lifted a hand to cup her chin, thumb stroking soft paths over her cheek as he examined her for any injury. The fear in her posture had been enough for him to flare his wings instinctively, obscuring her fully behind them as he sought the root cause of her distress. If it was tangible, if it was killable---he'd rip its fucking head clean off.
Not able to identify any threat in their immediate vicinity, however, he pivoted to face her, though still alert for any changes in their surroundings.
โ You're safe. I'm here. Tell me what happened? โ
01. avoids eye contact or looking at the floor.
02. wringing hands together in silence.
03. fidgeting with the hem of their shirt, unable to stay still.
04. looking at receiver in long silence before looking away.
05. silently leaves a folded note on the table in front of the other.
06. touches the others arm but pulls back out of guilt.
๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ซ -
01. slams fist onto a table without saying a word.
02. exhaling sharply through their nose and clenching their jaw.
03. throws an object across the room.
04. crossing their arms tightly, digging fingers into their own skin.
05. pacing the room with heavy steps.
06. glares at the other with a clenched fist.
๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ -
01. gently pushing stray hair behind the others ear.
02. resting their forehead against the others.
03. cups the others face with both hands.
04. pressing a kiss to the others forehead in silence.
05. lingering touches against the others face.
06. wraps their arms around the other from behind and rests their head on the others shoulder.
๐ฌ๐๐๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ฌ -
01. wiping their eyes before someone can notice.
02. pressing their face into a pillow to muffle sobs.
03. pulls the other into a desperate hug and wont let go.
04. silently reaching for the others hand, needing comfort.
05. walks into the room with red-rimmed eyes and no words.
๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ฌ -
01. spins the other around without warning in a hug.
02. links arms with the other and tugs them along happily.
03. provides the other with a handmade gift.
04. tackles the other in a sudden and joyful hug.
05. kisses the others cheek unexpectedly and grins.
๐๐๐๐ซ -
01. backing away slowly and looking for exits.
02. hiding behind the other and peeking around.
03. flinches at sudden movement from the other.
04. presses their back against the wall with eyes darting around the room.
05. jumps at a noise and instinctively grabs the others hand.
๐๐๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐
01. tucks a blanket gently around the other person's shoulders.
02. applies a bandage with slow and deliberate care.
03. brings them food and water and watches to ensure they eat.
04. runs fingers through their hair in efforts to soothe.
05. rubs soothing circles on the others back while they cry.
06. stays silently by the others side in support without saying a word.
๐ก๐๐ซ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐
01. raises a hand but hesitates.
02. grips the others arm a bit too tightly.
03. pushes the other away with more force than necessary.
04. turns their back on the other to begin walking away without a word.
05. rips a shared photo in half without a word.
06. steps in closely with cold and narrowed eyes.
