dirt enthusiast
cherry valley forever
🪼
Cosimo Galluzzi
Three Goblin Art

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we're not kids anymore.

Andulka
One Nice Bug Per Day

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
RMH
YOU ARE THE REASON

Janaina Medeiros
Game of Thrones Daily
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
taylor price

blake kathryn
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
sheepfilms
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@ofdeathanddogs
wearelxgion:
“Usually one asks nicely..Speaking of, have you seen my ace of spades card?”
❝ oh yeah sure man i gotchu. please show me a card trick, nerd. unfortunately i haven’t seen that one. hope you don’t need it for the sick ass trick you about to show me. ❞
Oscar Isaac and the Star Wars Cast Had Dinner with the King of Jordan
THE FINAL PAM SENTENCE STARTERS.
❝ I’m gonna turn her into a bloomin’ onion ❞
❝ I’m worried because your PC thought that was NASTY ❞
❝ Have you noticed something approaching DAWNING HORROR on the husband’s face? ❞
❝ She looks like a human goldfish cracker ❞
❝ NO, DON’T SMILE ❞
❝ I’m gonna yartz ❞
❝ There’s no reason to have a rough face and seven different types of forehead blemishes ❞
❝ Fucking look AT her ❞
❝ I want the middle of his face to just be sort of a ruined wasteland; a blighted hellscape ❞
❝ Look at that just, like, beef steak ❞
❝ I can’t interact with objects yet, honey, I haven’t completed the tutorial ❞
❝ I WILL HAVE YOU BABY ❞
❝ Baby enjoy toy; mommy buy for you ❞
❝ ENJOY ENTERTAINMENT BABY ❞
❝ I will take a hammer and FIX the baby ❞
❝ Baby is broken; it’s too SMALL ❞
❝ Superglue baby back to his BIG SIZE ❞
❝ Baby need snack; I give baby snack of cleaner ❞
❝ Clean baby’s tumtum; SCRUBBIESCRINKLEWINKLE ❞
❝ YOU CANNOT SCARE ME BABY HUSBAND ❞
❝ He’s caught in the atoms of the linoleum ❞
❝ FUCK ME RUNNING ❞
❝ Come to me, my Shaunster ❞
❝ Nobody move, I’ve lost both a contact lens and a husband ❞
❝ God forgive me ❞
❝ He cool… He cool, he cool ❞
❝ I DO THIS ❞
❝ Pretty good, IT DOESN’T SEEM ❞
❝ I tell little joke ❞
❝ Next time, you INVITE Pam ❞
❝ Did the dialogue just support your slash fiction? ❞
❝ Uh, Final Pam forget keys; BRB ❞
❝ Okay, I got them, WE COOL ❞
❝ I bet you did not OVERSEE that coming ❞
❝ Hey everybody, it’s me, ROACHIE, your favourite guy ❞
❝ Drink up, Roachie ❞
❝ I have a son; he’s a can of peas ❞
❝ Ask him something only Roachie would know ❞
❝ Guns are just so last year ❞
❝ Roachie, I’ve been meaning to ask you something for a long time now and I just want you to know that you’re the most special bug in the world to me and I can’t imagine exploring the wasteland without you; will you marry me? ❞
❝ He said YES ❞
❝ Nothing, you leave me NOTHING? ❞
❝ I’m gonna be in a deep depression for the next few minutes ❞
❝ It didn’t get noodley though ❞
❝ BABY— ATTACK ❞
my favourite ever literary trope is “you want me to be a villain? i’ll show you a villain” that shit gives me goosebumps and given the right context also turns me on
I can’t think until I eat.
( * &. SHIT MY COWORKERS HAVE SAID / SENTENCE STARTERS .
‘ and i’m done. adios, bitches! ’
‘ be nice or i’ll push you off the ladder. ’
‘ butterflies are not your friend. ’
‘ did you also know that bad people do bad things sometimes? ’
‘ did you know that sometimes vin diesel can come into your work and shoot up the place with a machine gun? ’
‘ did you seriously just leave to go look at a bug outside? ’
‘ dinosaurs and penguins are the same thing, right? ’
‘ don’t come in the bathroom, i’m currently dying. ’
‘ emo sing-along time! ’
‘ i didn’t find my courage, but i found john winchester faster than sam and dean did so that’s an accomplishment. ’
‘ i didn’t push you, you willingly went in! ’
‘ i don’t like it when someone comes in the bathroom when i’m pooping and poop bombs me. ’
‘ i fucking suck at math. you should know this by now. ’
‘ i had a dream i was gay and it was great so i bought this rainbow lighter this morning. ’
‘ i left my brain at home today. ’
‘ i threw away your banana and i’m stealing your donut. ’
‘ if i die eating this vending machine breakfast burrito just know that i think you’re awesome and i will miss you. ’
‘ in here, your imagination’s your best friend. ’
‘ is this how the world ends? rainfall? ouch. ’
‘ it’s that good 2006 emo shit. ’
‘ i’m always heavily, heavily medicated. ’
‘ i’m currently having the time of my damn life if you must know. ’
‘ i’m cute as fuck, but i’m dumber than rocks. ’
‘ i’m not a fucking baby so stop saying i am! ’
‘ i’m pissed off because she got pissed at me for no reason. ’
‘ i’m running behind. my plant got decapitated when i was cooking breakfast. ’
‘ i’m scared of heights and i want to die. ’
‘ i’m watching tv, everybody shut up! ’
‘ i’ve almost died about twenty times total today. ’
‘ i’ve almost had 39 heart attacks today alone. ’
‘ let’s get emo up in this bitch. ’
‘ mad at me? i didn’t fucking do anything. ’
‘ now i’ve had the time of my life and i owe it all to… this dumb ass job that’s gotta get done. ’
‘ oh great, i’ll die knowing that the worst worker here loves me. ’
‘ oh yay… there’s a video… ’
‘ okay, so you need to be in a bubble today. ’
‘ she has an octopus tattoo on her asshole and i think that’s beautiful. ’
‘ she saved my life. i thought there was a spider on my back and she was gonna move it, but it was actually just my hair. she’s a life saver. ’
‘ she thinks i should be scared of her? i’m not scared of anybody. it’s me they should be scared of. ’
‘ shove a cigarette in there for the wasps to smoke while they die. ’
‘ shut the fuck up, you’re always cold. ’
‘ shut up, i’m making dinosaurs! ’
‘ someone’s gotta be thrown under the bus and it’s not gonna be me. ’
‘ someone’s having a hissy fit! ’
‘ stop stealing my fucking chair! ’
‘ stop trying to hold my hand, i need to poop! ’
‘ there are no rules in this place. ’
‘ there’s no smiling allowed here. ’
‘ this is actually the day from hell. ’
‘ this is lawless land. ’
‘ those noises were coming from you?! ’
‘ until you get past the first three months, you’re just another cute face to me. ’
‘ we broke her. ’
‘ we don’t associate with people named linda. it’s just a rule. ’
‘ we don’t even know how to function now. ’
‘ welcome to the island of misfits. ’
‘ well, i woke up wanting to cry and now i’m here. how’s your day? ’
‘ what do you need? you’re interrupting my serial killer podcast! ’
‘ what, you’re not having fun? ’
‘ what. the. actual. fuck. ’
‘ when you leave, your cat’s just sluttin’ it up with other people. she probably has a tinder and everything. ’
‘ you didn’t hire me to be good at math. ’
‘ you guys, this is a great day. ’
‘ you pushed me into a box and tried to kill me! ’
‘ you’re gay too? you’re gonna fit in great here. ’
‘ you’re gonna die and i’ll laugh when it happens. ’
‘ you’re gonna wear jeans? look at you getting fancy! ’
surprise starter for @wearelxgion
❝ show me a card trick, nerd. ❞
(x)
Aaron Paul Plays With Kittens While Answering Fan Questions
Oscar Isaac + cat
(◠‿◠✿)
➣ Teen Wolf (Season 4)
feel free to change words and pronouns as needed.
“So, it’s like two in the morning. I wake up, and she’s just lying right next to me. She just sneaks in!”
“Yeah, right on, right? After that, we spent the rest of the night spooning.”
“I shouldn’t have done that. I lied my ass off.”
“You saved him a ton of unnecessary pain. We’ll figure this out in a day or two, he goes back to being old (name), everyone’s happy… Except for (name), who’s never happy.”
“That sounds like a horrible plan. But, we’ve had worse.”
“Beautiful eyes. Did you get them from your father?”
“Well, we’re all works in progress.”
“I thought you were going to talk to her?”
“Maybe we should let the adults handle it?”
“So the two of you, you just want to stay here at school, go to class? I’ve never heard anything so irresponsible in my life.”
“Hey, I don’t need to say that wasn’t your fault, right?”
“No, you need to back the hell up, okay? Both of you.”
“I feel like I’m surrounded by a bunch of psychotic nutjobs! You guys are out of your freaking minds.”
“Ugh! I look at your face, and I want to smash it! I want to tear it!”
“Are you kidding? I am totally unprepared!”
“Why do I feel like this is going to end badly?”
“That’s a lot of burden to carry, (name).”
“I know you think you’re trying to protect me, but I can handle it.”
“It’s incredibly dangerous and borderline idiotic.”
“You know what happens when you only hear one side of a story? You’ve only heard one side of the story.”
“I have to know everything. How the hell else am I supposed to take care of you?”
“(Name), look at me. Don’t listen. Okay? Don’t listen to it. Just focus on my voice.”
“I don’t have much practice in things like forgiveness.”
“We used to be the apex predators, until (name) turned us into sheep.”
“She was listening to the ranting and raving of a lunatic. A former lunatic. I’m much healthier now.”
“You think (name) wouldn’t kill to save (name)? Would you kill to save (name)?”
“It’s all right to cry. It’s no measure of your strength.”
“Alright, stay with me. You’re gonna be okay.”
“You were never an alpha, (name). But you were always a monster.”
“I don’t know that you’re worth saving.”
El Camino new teaser. 10.11 on Netflix.