Officer Sarcasm

[officer-sarcasm]

nicetomeetyouloser:

“Because if I can find your tiny little blip of a universe, then the D.J.D. would have no issue doing the same,” he said, locking his gaze on the makeshift leader. “If that happens, nothing will be able to keep your planet safe, all those stray Decepticons will die and so will everyone else. You don’t have a lot of choices, Prowler.”

Prowl's lips pressed into a thin line, his doors stiffened upward, and optics focused on the Decepticon sitting across from him. "They would have no reason to look here unless you're here, so your observation is not helping your case. Would you like to try again,” was his reply, voice tight and perhaps unnerved. 

[the-write-ideas]

                                     All of the beauty turns to pain                                   All of the madness falls like rain

-(x)

[officer-sarcasm]

                                                        ♟                                            Can we be saved                                Has the damage all been done                             Is it too late to reverse what we’ve                                                b e c o m e ?                                                                            ♚

[vonnegutphile]

Never trust a survivor,” my father used to warn me, “until you find out what he did to stay alive.

Kurt Vonnegut, Bluebeard (via supernatasha)

[officer-sarcasm]

Once Upon a Time ----- Starters

"Love is hope. It fuels our dreams."

"It will leave an emptiness inside. A void you will never be able to fulfill."

"Believing in even the possibility of a happy ending is a very powerful thing."

"Love is weakness."

"You must trust me because if you don't, there are other ways."

"There's always people in this world who want you to give up. Don't make their jobs any easier."

"I guess if true love was easy, we'd all have it."

"Did I forget to shave?"

"Generally speaking, if you think something you want to do is wrong, it is."

"What is strong enough to drown out your own conscience?"

"I'm not bossy, I'm the queen."

"Giving in to one's dark side never accomplishes anything."

"No matter what you do. I will always find you."

"You want a side of bacon with that whiskey?"

"If he's playing a game, you can win."

"Love's the worst. I wish there was a magic cure."

"It's dangerous to confuse vengeance with justice."

"As long as you live in the past, you'll never find your future."

"I'm done reading about heroes. I want to be one."

"You have all sorts of sore places I can make you hurt."

"Maybe we met for a reason. Maybe something good happened from us being together."

"Wouldn't be the first flying monkey I've dated."

"I, for one, would like to be able to eat this week."

"By the way, have you been taking kick boxing and not telling me about it?"

"It's only going to leave a giant hole in your heart."

"Just because it seems too good to be true doesn't mean it is."

"Not a day will go by that I won't go by that I won't think of you."

"You always brought out the best in me and right now I need that."

"Can't help but feel personally violated about that part."

"No matter what you think, no matter what anyone tells you, I do love you."

"So brave. So gallant. So pointless."

"I've lived a life of selfishness, cowardice, and dishonesty."

"I think it's time to haul her ass out of bed and get her to move past this."

"One thing I excel at is surviving."

"Helping you is my life."

"You need to be alive. You need to be awake so you can spend all your days knowing that I have taken everything that was suppose to be yours."

"I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you."

[not-good-with-names-and-faces]

◢I think sometimes you forget who you’re dealing with.◣

◢I live to provoke ‘bots into fights.◣

◢Besides, I don’t think Cybertron under Autobot control is a place I want to be. Been there, done that.◣

[officer-sarcasm]

::I know you're just doing this to upset me. You're too easy to read, perhaps you should change up your game plan.::       Prowl still lowers his head to his palms, fighting the urge to release a frustrated sigh. Though the song and dance was familiar, he'd grown tired of it. ::I will not take the bait for you to senseless argue with me over the comm about the status of our home planet. You are free to return to Cybertron and make an appointment to see me though.::

[not-good-with-names-and-faces]

◢Does anyone know a nice, neutral planet for a supply run to?◣

[officer-sarcasm]

::You could always return to Cybertron for your supplies. With the war over, I doubt anyone would shoot you unless you provoked them.::

[officer-sarcasm]

To: brittlesilverlord From: Prowl Subject: Greetings

  Hello.

  Your signature has been noted and seems to be quite familiar to the systems as a 'Megatron Alternate'. I will need you to confirm or deny these claims, if denying please include your designation and function.

  If your universe is at peace, much like this one, or in need, we can offer assistance to you. You will need to confirm that you mean no harm to any unit dropping off the supplies and this universe in general.

  Thank you for your time.

[my-shovel-your-face]

      Dear Prowl,

    I find it rather odd you don’t have me on file, I am a former senator, as well as an ambassador to many worlds (including earth) for the Autobots.

    Still, I am willing to give you any information you might need. You should probably put somewhere in there some information of my plays, as well as a new one I am currently working on. Would you like to hear about it?  Its a romance, I know its sort of different from my usual work, but trust me its gonna be great! 

                                                                                              -Crosscut

[officer-sarcasm]

  My sincerest apologizes, former Senator Crosscut, for not recognizing your signal and for the lack of information on my part. Much was lost but you now have a new file, which will include your plays if you so desire to tell me all about them.

  Just be aware that my Second in Command often reads through my e-mails and he may very well begin to bother you for a script, so I suggest for you to prepare yourself for that.

[cool-and-collective]

    //Baby, you free? I think I need some high grade and a good nap in your office. It’s important that your favorite spy gets the chance to recharge near their favorite officer. Just so you know.//

[officer-sarcasm]

::Don't call me that. I'm too busy to play these games right now. However, you may return to my quarters and I'll join you when I'm finished with my work.::

[sparklyscion-blog]

bold any fears that apply to your muse!!! italicize what makes them uncomfortable!!! (and add your own if they aren’t listed)

the dark | fire | open water (sea/ocean) | (any) deep water | being alone | crowded/enclosed spaces (agoraphobia) | confined spaces (claustrophobia) | change | failure | war | being controlled/lack of free will | prison | blood | drowning | suffocation | public speaking | natural animals (any kind) | supernatural monster/animals (any kind) | heights | death/dying | intimacy | rejection | abandonment | the unknown | the future | not being good enough | scary stories | talking to new people | poverty | loud noises | being touched | powerlessness 

[officer-sarcasm]

To: my-shovel-your-face From: Prowl Subject: Greetings

I will admit that I do not find your signature at all familiar and nothing at all is coming up on my current records. Truth be told, this is not all that rare, as many files were lost or misplaced since the exodus.

If you may, please e-mail back with your designation, function, and current status. Although not required, it will assist in completing the file I will create for you, you may include your faction as well.

[officer-sarcasm]

To: littlestautobotspy From: Prowl Subject: Greeting

  Hello, Bumblebee. Although your signature does not match up completely with the one of this particular universe, I should know the basics off by spark.

  Although I do recongize the signature to a degree, with the things I have seen of this 'multiverse', I feel the need to request your current status and the status of the war in general.

[officer-sarcasm]

To: tfawreckgar From: Prowl Subject: Greetings

Hello. This is an automatic message from the desk of Prowl. Your signature has been picked up and/or you have attempted to ping his signal. He is possibly overwhelmed with his current duties on Cybertron and unavailable at this time.

This message is sent to recieve basic information such as designation, function, and current faction status. You may also include a list of supplies that you may require, which will be discussed when possible.

[officer-sarcasm]

To: potentialtroublemaker From: Prowl Subject: Greetings

  Your signature has been noted. However, I am unable to identify it with any information available at this time. Please reply with your designation and function, along with faction information.

[officer-sarcasm]

To: science-shuttles-inbox From: Prowl Subject: Greetings.

  Hello. I do not recongize your signature at this time, so please don't take offense to what I am about to ask of you. May I have your designation and function, prehaps even your current faction status. It will make further conversation between the two of us easier.

[officer-sarcasm]

To: the-cons-construction-crew From: Prowl Subject: Greetings

  Your signature fully displays that you are indeed Decepticon. It has been noted as such, though there will be no tracking done for your current location. Designation is not required unless you feel the need to provide it. Good day.