SCREEEEECH

The official blog for the best instrument in the band.

[official-flute]

Hi! I have a question(hahahayoudontsay). I kinda noticed how some flutes have holes in the *keys* and I'm confused about why. What is the difference? I'm very curious about a lot of things, especially things that relate to musical instruments. btw just saying because it's a fLuTe BlOg; the flute is my first and absolute favorite instrument and the one i can play best out of all 8 aaaaaa

Open-hole flutes typically produce a better tone because there’s more area for the air to escape from. However, they are harder to play, especially for a beginner, because you have to make sure that you’re completely covering the holes in the keys in order to produce a sound.

[flutejesus]

What's the difference between a flute and a dildo? I can't think of anything, they are both just overpriced devices that when working properly make an annoying high pitch sound

One causes pleasureThe other is sold at Spencer’s

[official-flute]

The instruments talking about their practicing

Flute: says things like "I practiced that section for 3 hours and couldn't get it right" so you know they practiced for 3 hours

Clarinet: doesn't tell people about their practicing because that would involve talking to people and people are scary

Oboe: talks about all 150000 solos they had to work on

Bassoon: "I practiced for 30 whole minutes and played one scale give me a medal"

Saxophone: goes on about some jazz thing they worked on

Trumpet: however long you said you practiced for, they somehow practiced for an hour longer

Trombone: doesn't talk about their practicing because they think it would screw up their ~cool reputation~ if people knew they worked hard

Horn: too busy getting stuff done to talk

Tuba: lol what practicing

Percussion: complaining about not having their very own timpani to practice on

Piano: starts ranting about how composers are trying to kill them

Violin: brags about how much they practiced and how productive they were to cover up that they're dead on the inside

Viola: makes ~aesthetic~ posts about practicing

Cello: just flat out starts crying

Bass: communicates in the form of memes

[ironic-flute]

Small doodle of a @linmanuel tweet. Now go practice!!

[ironic-flute]

Good musicians think they’re bad musicians. The only musicians that think they’re good musicians are mediocre musicians, amazing, world-class musicians, and trumpet players.

Something I wrote freshman year, forgot about, and rediscovered (via ironic-flute)

[official-flute]

Some days I just can't play e naturals in tune at all, do you have any advice? I dunno if embouchure or what. I've been playing for 3yrs and this always happens

I don’t know what’s causing your specific problem without looking at you playing, but generally here’s some advice:

- Play with a tuner and pay attention to what causes the note to go sharp/flat, and what you can do to make the note go more in tune.

- If you notice that on specific days e naturals just aren’t working, keep track of what you are doing on the days that are good and then apply those thoughts to the days where you can’t get it

- If you can’t come up with anything, it might be worth getting your flute looked at. Sometimes, there might be a problem with a pad or something that you can’t tell without being an expert and having fancy tools and stuff.

Hope that helped :)

[the13thchair]

Whoever can play the highest note can marry me. BUT, it has to be with great tone. Otherwise no deal.

- The 13th Chair

[classic-jenny]

Perfect C8, anyone?

EDIT: LOL derp YES this was on the wrong side of the piano, I can’t believe that I didn’t catch that. Fixed, thanks guys for bringing it up!

[official-flute]

*takes out piccolo*

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

Your take on each instrument and how their users feel about sex?

piccolo: i only fuck trumpets and other piccolos but i fuck them hardflute: i’m saving it until marriage :)oboe: ace afclarinet: i’ll suck anything if you ask kindly enoughsaxophone: more like SEXY PHONE AM I RIGHT AYYYYYYYYYYYY suck my dick nowbassoon: is that what my genitals are forhorn: i’m amazing at sex but my standards are stratospheric so good luck getting in my pantstrumpet: narcissexuality is a valid orientationtrombone: i give oral as a greetingeuphonium: people think i’m a virgin but i’m secretly juggling dicks as i walk into rehearsaltuba: either a very salty virgin or a lesbian stripperpercussion: bang me am i rightpiano: just hold my hand please i am so aloneharp: i’m fuckin, but not fuckin any of you. i have a personal harem that i make use of whenever i feel distressingly arousedorgan: i love nobody enough to engage in sexual intercourse with them, except our lord and father jesus christ. but he’s a bit out of my leagueviolin: I CAN’T FUCK YOU I’M TOO BUSY PRACTISING. GO DOWN ON ME WHILE I’M PRACTISING MENDELSSOHN IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BUT I’D RATHER NOTviola: i’m not that bothered about sex. i might hook up occasionally, and leave purple hickeys on them, scratch their back until they look like a corpse, let them choke me and spank me and leave my buttocks red as rudolph’s nose, and go down on them until they release their beautiful gushing fluids into my throat canal hnng yes master, but nah i’m not that interested in sexcello: i sleep on a velvet bed with rose petals sprinkled across it and candles lit around itbass: i have many sex but only to fit in with societyconductor: ONLY ONE STICK IN MY LIFE AND IT’S NOT GOING IN ANYONE’S ANYTHING

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

classical guitar: acknowledge my existence and i’ll do anything for you pop guitar: i’m panicking i haven’t had my five a day yet soprano: hm u want to fuck me? write me a 60-page fan fiction about us and i’ll read it and consider your application. if you write yourself as the dom then you’re out immediately alto: i’m a virgin but i suck dick like a pornstar tenor: a lot fewer people want to fuck me than i thought bass: if i sing javert’s suicide from les mis will you at least stroke it

[teawithprog-inactive]

I have many floots

[tchaikovskify-deactivated201712]

cellos are amazing holy shit

[gay-flat-major]

Bassoons*

[cello-official]

Cellos are amazing holy bassoons

[ironic-flute]

Flutes*

[pompous-pandeiro-playing-piranh]

Cellos are flutes holy bassoons

[powellflutes]

Happy New Year! 2017 here we come! 90th Anniversary year.

[official-flute]

I USED TO PKAY THE FLUTE BUT GUESS WHAT I PLAY NOW. THE TUBA. BECAUSE I HATE EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY(also I was really bad at flute and I'm a prodigy at tuba)

come back to the light side we have high notes, fast runs, and tears

actually never mind you’re probably better off

[soyouwanttoplaytheflute]

“It always seems impossible until it’s done” - Nelson Mandela 

 I really believe in this quote but sometimes I need to be reminded.

My dad gave me these stickers with motivational/positive quotes for Christmas! I love them so much :)

[sarahstudiesmusic-deactivated20]

Only 3 more days of uni before winter break! 🎄Spending my break with Bach (BWV 1033) and Fauré (Fantasie) ❣️

[idlefluting]

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

orchestra stereotypes - go!

piccolo: i don’t always play, but when i do, rip ur earsflutes: can we please do something else than imitating birdsoboes: quack quack was that me warming up my reed or an actual melody who knowsclarinets: we have one melody in this entire piece and you can’t hear it over the trumpets so why would we not warm up with rhapsody in bluesaxophones: thank you lord for inventing maurice ravel. oh and while ur here lord can you stop the rest of the orchestra bullying mebassoons: deep poothorns: just when ur admiring us for our infinite hotness and gorgeous tone quality we’ll start playing mahler cuivré with 8 of us in unison watch out BAAAAAAtrumpets: *slides into violin 1 section* which one of u lovely ladies wants a night with me ay the trumpet isn’t the only thing i can double tongue alalalalalalala *puts two fingers up to mouth and starts imitating cunnilingus*trombones: the bottle i’m clutching onto is definitely water and not vodka i promise. gotta stay hydrated. no you can’t have any why d-tuba: *tips fedora* m’ladytimpani: i went through 4 years of music school just for this shit 1 5 1 5 1 5 1 5 1 oh tricky bit coming up there’s a triplet but don’t worry there’s 92 bars of rest for me to prepare for itother percussion: 1 gay guy, 1 straight girl who’s his best friend, the rest just fuckboysharp: you may not be able to hear me in the orchestra but you won’t be laughing anymore when i forcefully transport you into a dream sequence just watchpiano: why am i here. i chose this instrument to get away from other musicians wtf i can make all the notes by myself i don’t need youorgan: now i can really make all the notes by myself you want a trumpet here’s a trumpet you want a clarinet here’s a clarinet badabingbadaboom just give me a church and i’m invincibleconcertmaster: bow down 2 meother violin 1s: we promise we’re just as good as the concertmaster see here’s us warming up with the sibelius concerto look loOK LOOKviolin 2s: i tried so hard and got so far but in the end it didn’t even matterviolas: you think you have it bad violin 2s we have to come into every rehearsal just for pizzicato ostinaticelli: 70% boring basslines 30% passionate melodies 100% fuck mebasses: plonk plonk plonkconductor: let’s have some fun this beat is sick everyone pay attention to me and my stick

[morganflute]